"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Jadeite, do you know what day it is today?" Queen Beryl asked, accusingly.

"Umm... Thursday?"

"No, it's Thanksgiving!"

"What's that?"

"It's a day where I have off, and don't have to do work!"

"But you never do work!" said Jadeite, and instantly regretted it.

"No, my job is to make YOU do YOUR job."

"Heh heh... you're not very good at it..." Jadeite muttered under his breath.

"Jadeite! Fifty years in the dungeon for you!"

"Gosh darn it!"

"Sixty years!"

"Gosh darn it!"

"Seventy years! Wanna keep going, Jadeite?"

"No, ma'am," Jadeite replied.

"Eighty years!"

"But Queen Beryl!"

"Ninety years!"

"..."

"Are you going to say anything, Jadeite?" Queen Beryl asked.

"..."

"A hundred years!"

Jadeite started to cry.

"Wait, actually," said Queen Beryl. "You can serve your sentence tomorrow. I just remembered something."

"Oh?" asked Jadeite.

"On Earth, people have big dinners for Thanksgiving."

"Ok..."

"I want a big dinner."

"Ok..."

"Make me a big dinner."

"But Queen Beryl! I don't know how to cook! Don't we have Youmas for that?"

"Quiet, Jadeite! The family is supposed to cook! You four Shitennou are my family."

"Awww :)"

"Two hundred years in the dungeon! Now gather those rejects, and get to cooking!"


The four Shitennou stood in the kitchen, flabbergasted.

"What are we even supposed to make?" asked Nephrite.

"Hold on, I'll look it up on Negagoogle," Jadeite said, typing into his computer. "Ok, it says we have to prepare something called a tur-key. And mashed-pot-tat-oes. And c-or-n."

"Wow, humans are so creepy," commented Zoisite.

"How do you make a tur-key?" asked Kunzite.

"I've got it!" declared Nephrite. "Maxfield Stanton will just go to the Earth world and buy one!"

3 hours later Nephrite arrived back with a turkey.

"WTF" asked Zoisie

"wut?"

"WHY DID YOU BRING BACK AN ALIVE TURKEY!?"

"stfu zoisite you fagasaurous you told me to get a turkey"

"A DEAD ONE!"

"u know what zoisite?"

"wut"

"SUCK IT!"

"D:"

":D"

":("

":D"

":'("

":DDDDDDDDD"

"..."

"Zoisite get rekt m9"

"Dammit Nephrite just kill the turkey" Zoisite finally said.

"No I dont wanna kill it"

"y"

"I'm a pacifist"

"then y did u get a job of killing people"

"because this is the only job i could find that would give me my own mansion without a high school diploma"

"why didnt you get a diploma?"

"the teachers said i was too ugly to teach :("

":("

":("

"Guys... Queen Beryl is going to be pissed if we don't finish her meal soon," said Jadeite.

"STFU JADEITE!" Neph and Zoi yelled at the same time.

"Gosh darn it," said Jadeite, going into the corner to sulk.

"Zoisite 1v1 me irl ked, to decide who kills the turkey" Nephrite challenged.

"u wot m8. Meet me at the crack of dawn."

They both teleported away.


At the crack of dawn, Nephrite stood at the Nega Arena, prepared to duel.

Zoisite appeared, and Nephrite instantly blasted him with energy.

"LOL I WIN!" he yelled.

But suddenly, the Zoisite disguise fell off, and it was really the turkey he blasted.

"NOOOO!" he cried. "ZOISITE YOU MONSTER! YOU MADE ME KILL AN INNOCENT TURKEY! HOW COULD YOU?!"

"LOLOLOLOLOLOLO" said Zoisite, from the corner where he was projecting the disguise.

Coincidentally, Nephrite blasted the turkey just hard enough to cook it completely. It was perfectly done. Zoisite took it and teleported away.


Meanwhile, Kunzite and Jadeite stood there stumped at how to make mashed potatoes.

"What do we mash them with?" asked Jadeite.

"Idk, I don't have a masher."

"Just mash them with energy," suggested Jadeite.

"I am not a weakling! I can mash them with my own two hands!" Kunzite shouted.

He punched down into the bowl of potatoes, but he punched too hard, smashing the table and making a crater in the ground. The potatoes rolled out, unmashed.

"Looks like a flop, Kunzy," said Jadeite.

Kunzite flew up into the air in rage. "I WILL mash these potatoes, and then I'll mash YOUUUUU!"

He grabbed a potato and squeezed really hard.

"OOof oof ofo ooaeojfapweg" he grunted.

Jadeite looked down, trying not to embarass his pal too hard.

"AWEFWEGAWGJ!"

Suddenly, the potato splattered all over the kitchen.

"See? Jadey, go get a dust pan. We've got some mashed potatoes! Oh yeah, and a window scraper," Kunzite added. "To get them off the wall."

Jadeite face-palmed.

Just then, Zoisite appeared.

"Hey guys! Look at the turkey I killed and cooked all by myself!" Zoisite announced.

"Way to go, Zoipal!" Jadeite applauded. "We're almost done preparing this dinner."

Nephrite showed up, looking sick.

"What's the matter, Neffy?" Zoisite asked.

Neffy slugged him. "OOF!" They started a slugfest, but they slipped on the mashed potatoes Jadeite was yet to clean up.

"NOOOO!" cried Kunzite. "You're getting your blood in the mashed potatoes! Stop this at once!"

"Nah nah nah just mix em up, nobody will notice," Jadeite said.

"So we're done?" Kunzite asked.

"No, we still need to take this corn off the cobs."

"eZ, piece of cake," said Kunzite.

All four began shucking corn. It actually went as planned, and they ended up with a bowl full of corn.

An image of Queen Beryl appeared. "PRESENT ME MY DINNER AT ONCE!"

"Yes sir!" they cried.

They appeared in Queen Beryl's thrown room, where she had prepared a long table with a cornucopia in the middle.

They put the dishes down.

"Lookin' good!" said Queen Beryl, digging in.

"MMMMM these mashed potatoes are delicious! They have this hint of something good, like the blood of my enemies!"

"Enemies!" Zoisite and Nephrited cried.

"Oh, I almost forgot," said Queen Beryl. "We have to do our Thanksgiving blessing!"

They all moaned in unison.

"DO IT OR DIE!" Queen Beryl yelled.

"YES SIR!"

They all turned to Kunzite.

"Dammit guys," he said. "Ok, umm, we are gathered here today, to join in thankfulness. And eat food, that Kunzite prepared all by himself."

They all started objecting, but Queen Beryl cut them off. "OK GUYS! Now we go around the table and say what we're thankful for!"

Jadeite began. "I'm thankful that I'm still alive," he said. "I thought for sure you would have killed me by now. I know I would have!"

Nephrite went next. "I'm thankful for MAWLY! And the stars! And MAWLY! And the fact that I won that slugfest with Zoisite earlier!"

"DID NOT!" screamed Zoisite.

"DID TOO!" screamed Nephrite.

"D:"

":("

"D:"

":("

":)"

":D"

":*"

"o_o"

";D"

"o_e"

"o_+" - cyborg

"o_O"

"O_o"

"O_O"

"^_^"

":3"

"stfu u two" baked beryl

"ANYWAY," said Zoisite, ignoring the past emoticon conversion with Nephrite. "I am thankful for my bae Kunzite :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D"

"Say what?" asked Kunzite, who wasn't listening. "Let's see, what am I thankful for..."

Zoisite looked up at him with a expectant smile.

"Umm... I guess I'm thankful for my hair color, it's pretty cool. It takes a lot of bleach to keep up, but it's worth it."

Zoisite started sobbing.

"Zoisite pls, you're getting tears in my chicken nuggets," said Kunzite.

"Guys," interjected Queen Beryl. "I think you're forgetting the most important thing."

"Oh yeah!" said Kunzite. "I totally forgot! I'm thankful for my cape!"

Queen Beryl and Zoisite both glared at him. He ignored it and continued rubbing his face against his cape.

"YOU FORGOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR ME!" Queen Beryl and Zoisite yelled at once.

"Zoisite stfu," said Beryl. "I BROUGHT YOU ALL BACK TO LIFE AFTER LEADING YOU TO DEATH IN THE MOON KINGDOM RAID!"

"No that was Queen Metalia," said Nephrite.

"SILENCE!" barked Beryl. "IF YOU GUYS AREN'T THANKFUL FOR ME, THEN I MIGHT AS WELL KEEEEEEL YOU!"

"No no no!" they cried. "We're thankful for you!"

"Really?" she asked skeptically. "Which part of me?"

"Oh, I can't do it!" cried Jadeite. "I can't lie!"

Queen Beryl killed him.

"Now you three, tell me what about me you are thankful for or die!"

"Ummmmm..."

They all looked at each other, and then made a quick bolt for the door.

Queen Beryl shot them all before they could come close to escaping.

Queen Beryl sat back down at the table and took a sip of wine. "Ah, peace and quiet. Now I have something to be thankful for!"

FIN