"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Oh really? What is it, Jeddy?"

"Wait, you actually want to hear what I have to say?" Jadeite asked in surprise.

"Yes. You have three seconds or you die."

"Well, you see-"

"TOO LONG!" Queen Beryl shot at Jadeite but he dodged.

"So I found that the humans have these things called-"

Queen Beryl shot at him again and blew him up.

"DUEGHUEGH!" he cried.

"Quick, Nephrite!" yelled Queen Beryl. "Go call Jadeite's life insurance provider. We're cashin in big, baby!"

But Jadeite had no life insurance. Considering his occupation, he couldn't find a company that would offer him a policy.

"Dammit, just go revive him then. There's only four of you guys, it would be stupid to kill any of you off," said Beryl.

"Wow, I'm glad you're finally thinking clearly, Queen Beryl," said Nephrite.

Queen Beryl blew up Nephrite and cashed in on Maxfield Stanton's life insurance policy.

"LELELLELELELELE!" shouted Beryl.


The four Shitennou sat in the Nega-Cafeteria.

"Darn, meatloaf again?" asked Jadeite.

"You should be happy we're letting you sit at our table at all," said Zoisite.

"But there's only one table."

"Exaclty."

"Hey guys!" exclaimed Kunzite suddenly. "I just checked my email, and I got four free tickets to the zoo!"

"Really? How'd you get that?"

"I just put my credit card number and name in some lottery on some website that Negachrome told me was malware."

"Sweet!"

They finished their meatloaf and TP'd away.


They walked around the zoo.

"So how are we going to gather energy here?" asked Nephrite.

"Don't be so dense," said Zoisite.

"Can we go check out the baby pandas?" asked Kunzite.

"Sure, I was getting hungry anyway," said Zoisite.

Kunzite pouted.

"OMG KOALAS!" screamed Jadeite. "Do you think they love me?" he asked, waving to them.

"No."

"Well I disagree," Jadeite disagreed.

Next they walked over to the lions.

"BOO!" said Nephrite. "I can make my own. I'm gonna go see the dolphins."

"I'm gonna go get snacks," said Kunzite, heading off to see the baby pandas.

"Now wait just a minute," said Zoisite. "I think this is just a plan so you can eat baby pandas without me."

"Not exactly..."

Jadeite leaned over to look at the lion. "Woah it's so real!" exclaimed Jadeite.

"Hey Jadeite," said Zoisite. "I dare you to jump in the lion's cage!"

"Nope," said Jadeite. "I'll only do it if it's a triple dog dare."

"Fine," said Zoisite. "I triple dog dare you to jump in the lion's cage!"

"Alright!" said Jadeite. He leaped the fence into the lion's cage.

Jadeite turned his back to the lions and waved at Zoisite and Kunzite.

They gave him a thumbs up.

"I'm so cool," said Jadeite to himself.

"It's sad we have to see Jadeite die," remarked Zoisite.

"Yep," said Kunzite, taking a chomp out of his cotton candy.

The lion rose behind Jadeite, casting a shadow.

"Did it just get cloudy out?" asked Jadeite. He turned around slowly.

"UH OH!" he shrieked.

He started to run around in circles. But the lion grabbed him with its big meaty claw, and threw him in his mouth.

Jadeite started to shriek more. "HAAAAAAALP!"

Nephrite returned from the dolphins. "That was really an eye opener," he said.

"Hey guys!" he called to Kunzite and Zoisite. "Look at these giraffes! Look how tall they are!"

"OMG WHERE!?" they both gleefully rushed over to the giraffes, ignoring Jadeite's shrieks.

Kunzite threw his cotton candy backwards into the lions' den as he walked away.

FIN