Mary couldn't get the image of the crossroads out of her head. All she could see was those roads promising salvation and life for her son.

At the cost of her soul, in ten years time to be dragged down to hell

She swallowed hard and looked through the window where Sammy was laying, she wasn't sure if he was asleep or just lying there amidst all the wires and machines.

It wasn't a way for a baby to live. She remembered Dean as a baby, wiggling and moving around and always reaching. Reaching for his toys, for his blanket, for her, or John or her parents.

Watching Sammy like this, unable to really move even if he wanted to, dependent so much on the incubator to keep him alive was hard and made her heart clench.

She had no idea what else she could do. Waiting was their only option and it almost felt like things were getting worse the longer she waited.

The image of the crossroad flashed in her mind once more.

She knew exactly what ingredients she needed for this; a picture of herself, some graveyard dirt, and a bone from a black cat. If she wanted to strengthen the summoning she could add dead yarrow flowers.

She also knew that she had everything that she needed back at Bobby's house.

It would be easy. She technically semi-lived at Bobbys and she knew where everything was in his so called organization. She knew what to do and how to do it.

The question was, would she be willing to do it? Would she be willing to damn herself for her son, to ensure that he would live and that he would be okay?

The answer was clear and instant, yes. She'd do whatever it takes for her children, even if it meant sacrificing herself if it meant that they would be okay.

Mary breathed out slowly, the breath fogging the window for a moment before it faded. Dean was in John's arms now, she couldn't hold him up for too long, but he also seemed almost...uncomfortable, like he had forgotten how to properly be in John's arms. He kept shifting and moving around, mostly focused on Sammy through the window.

Dean let out a sigh, it sounded so put out and adult that despite everything Mary couldn't help but smile slightly at the sound. It was completely out of place on Dean but seemed to fit the situation at hand.

She wrapped her arms around herself, leaning against the wall for a bit of support. Her legs felt weak and she wanted to sit but she didn't want to leave the window. Even if Sammy didn't know they were there she didn't want to leave him alone for a second more than she had to.

God she was tired.

Ten years was a long time, wasn't it? Ten years would mean that Dean will be fourteen and Sammy would be ten. And it would be worth it in the end, wouldn't it? It meant that her boys would be alive and together, with or without her.

But where would they end up?

The obvious answer was John, he was their father after all. But not according to their birth certificates, on those there was no father listed at all. By law John had no right to them, so that meant that...they would go to her parents.

And immediately placed in training to become hunters.

What was the other alternative? Being with John meant that they would both be placed into Men of Letters training.

At least being hunters would give them some sort of freedom and independence. At least they wouldn't need to ask permission to go see a movie.

She had no idea what to do. Had no idea what the next step she should take.

At some point their doctor joined them to discuss Sammy's progress.

Or lack thereof.

He wasn't doing any better but he also wasn't doing any worse, he was stable and that was both a good thing and a bad thing. He was still having trouble breathing on his own, still had trouble taking the milk that they were trying to give him. But otherwise his vitals were all the same, nothing had changed.

Nothing had changed.

So that meant that...something had to be done. Something, anything. If it meant saving Sammy...she would be willing to do it.

She closed her eyes and slowly breathed out, tearing her gaze away from Sammy to look at Dean. He was leaning back against Johns chest completely, eyes withdrawn as he took his little brother in.

Her heart clenched and she swallowed hard.

There was always something that could be done. Provided that you knew exactly what to do and where to find it.

Or, in certain cases, know how to summon it.

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