When John came into the NICU he almost, literally, ran into Mary who was stepping out. He reached out with one hand, the other holding a sleeping Dean up to his chest, but stopped when he saw her reddened eyes.
"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" he asked softly, hand going to cup her cheek. He immediately glanced at Sammy in the incubator. "Did the doctors-"
"They didn't say anything, I just...couldn't be here anymore. Need a bit of a break." Mary said, wiping at her eyes, not meeting his gaze though she leaned her cheek into his touch. "Mind walking with me to get some coffee?"
"Sure, of course." John said softly, looking at Sammy once more. "You really want to leave him?"
Mary wrapped her arms around herself. "No." she confessed. "But I feel like I'm going to just...start sobbing so I need to get away. But I need you. Just...a minute. Maybe less."
"Alright." he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and after glancing at Sammy one more time led her out into the hallway. "You said something about coffee?"
"Wouldn't mind something stronger." Mary tried to joke, her smile falling just as quickly as it appeared. "But...yeah, coffee."
"Alright, coffee." John agreed as he led her back to the cafeteria. "Any changes?"
Mary shook her head, staring at the ground. "No, no changes." she said quietly. "I don't know how much longer we can take, how much longer Sammy will be able to fight."
John tightened his arm around her, bringing her closer. "Then we'll do whatever we have to do." he said simply. "But until then, we just gotta wait."
Mary nodded, rubbing at her face with her hands. "I just...I'm losing my," she glanced to make sure that Dean was asleep, "goddamn mind."
"Me too." John said simply, thumb rubbing against her arm. "Me too Mary."
They walked the rest of the way in silence, stopping at the cafeteria so that Mary could get something to drink, a weak cup of coffee with sugar and milk. Each sip stuck in her throat and she had to force it down, drinking the whole cup, she threw the empty cup out, and quickly ducked into the closest bathroom.
Thankfully, the bathroom was empty and she immediately ducked into the closest stall, fell to her knees, and vomited into the toilet, gripping it tightly. She coughed and spat out the bile, her greasy hair falling down along her face. Her legs gave out slightly and she leaned against the stall, breathing heavily.
She swallowed hard, trembling as tears pricked her eyes. Gripping at the stall wall she dragged herself up onto shaking legs, stomach clenching and contracting. She didn't have anything left in her stomach, she didn't have anything else to throw up, but she gagged and choked, coughing hard.
She forced herself to stumble out of the stall after flushing everything, managing to get to the sink and place her hands on the sides of the porcelain. She didn't look at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands, leaning down to wash out of her mouth as well. She also washed her face and took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. Licking her lips, she flinched slightly.
Maybe it was her imagination, but she could still almost taste the sulfur on her lips.
Grabbing a paper towel she dried herself off as best as she could, taking one more deep breath before composing herself as best as she could and stepped back out into the hallway.
John gave her a look of concern when she stepped out, immediately going to her side once more. "You okay?" he asked. "What happened?"
Mary managed a small smile. "I'm fine." she assured him. "The coffee didn't really agree with me."
John didn't look like he agreed with her but he let it go, just wrapping his arm around her again, the three of them slowly making their way back to the NICU.
When they entered the NICU they froze and Mary felt as if her heart was about to stop. There were a whole team of doctors, nurses, god knew who else, surrounding Sammy's incubator. Immediately they pressed up to the window, one hand on the glass as they peered in, trying to read their faces, trying to figure out what was happening.
"Sammy." Mary whispered. "No, no, nonono." Please. Please no.
Slowly, one by one, each personnel pulled away, muttering to one another, none of them looked towards the two of them, none of them would even give them the courtesy of a single hint of information about what was happening to their baby.
Finally, one of the nurses pulled away from the other and smiled reassuringly at them, giving a motion for them to wait for a minute. John and Mary shared a look, her hand snapping out to grip at John's hand tightly. He gripped her back just as tightly, grounding one another.
The nurse who smiled at them disappeared around the corner, coming out of the part where they were keeping Sammy and coming into the hallway, taking her face mask off.
"He's doing amazing." the nurse quickly told them before they could say anything. "All of a sudden, he started breathing on his own, started crying, and moving. He didn't spit up any of the milk you gave us Mary and," her grin widened. "while they don't encourage us to say it, I think he's going to be okay."
Mary leaned against John weakly, a sob that had been building up threatening to escape. "He's doing better?" John asked weakly, holding Mary to him.
"A lot better." the nurse reassured them. "He's still going to stay here for now, and he'll be monitored twenty four hours, but he's taking a very big turn for the better."
"Can we see him? Hold him?"
"Not yet." the nurse said regretfully. "We need to see that he holds steady for at least twenty-four to thirty-six hours before we let anyone else other than medical personnel near him."
Mary looked into the window once more, she was sure that it might be her imagination but Sammy did look...different. Stronger. He was moving, there was more color to his cheeks, and there was no way it was real but she could almost see a hint of stubbornness and annoyance appearing on his face.
He was going to be okay.
Sammy was going to be okay.
She could feel John sag slightly beside her, holding her close in relief. She looked at him and smiled, kissing his cheek when she saw the tears in his eyes.
Feeling eyes on her she turned back to look at the nurse, who was still standing there watching them with a smile. When Mary caught her gaze, her smile widened.
And she winked, her eyes flashing yellow.
I do not own Supernatural.
5/365
I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.
