"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"
"Quiet, and call in the other Shitennou!" Queen Beryl told him.
Nephrite and Zoisite appeared.
"What's all the hub bub, Beryl?" asked Nephrite, having appeared in his car.
Queen Beryl blew up his car. He grabbed a broken piece of car and sobbed.
"Where's Kunzite?" she demanded.
"Killing the Sailor Scouts!" Zoisite told her. "With Evil Prince Endymion."
This was it. Kunzite had all five Sailor Scouts completely tied up and unable to escape. He was holding their rainbow crystals in his hand.
"Hey pal!" said Evil Prince Endymion, appearing.
"Go away," said Kunzite. "I've already won!"
"Alright, fine!" said Evil Mamoru. "Just let me go get my things."
Kunzite waited. Evil Mamoru slowly walked behind the Sailor Scouts, and when Kunzite blinked, he cut the rope and freed them.
"HEY!" yelled Kunzite. "I saw that!"
"LELELELELE!" said Evil Mamoru, tripping and falling into Kunzite, knocking the rainbow crystals back into Sailor Moon's hands.
"QUIT SABOTAGING ME!" cried Kunzite.
"QUIT BRAINWASHING ME!" cried Evil Mamoru.
"What do you want anyway?" Zoisite asked Beryl.
"I just wanted to tell you all how disappointed I am with you."
"Gee, thanks!" said Jadeite.
"I think she's insulting us," Nephrite told him.
"Oh. Since she wasn't saying I was garbage and made her sick, I take this as kind of like a, 'you're getting better!'" Jadeite replied.
"The Sailor Scouts have six rainbow crystals, and we only have one!" Queen Beryl screamed at them.
"How did that happen!?" Zoisite cried. "I could have sworn I had gotten at least two!"
"Yes, you actually had four!" Beryl told him. "But Mamoru gave the Sailor Scouts the rest of them!"
"Oh come on!" Zoisite screamed. "He didn't even give them the crystals when he was good! Your brainwashing is terrible!"
"She brainwashed us pretty well," Jadeite commented.
"I'd never betray you Queen Beryl!" said Nephrite. "Now time to betray Beryl!"
"Same!" said Zoisite. "I mean... Me? Kill Mamoru? NEVER!"
"SILENCE!" screamed Queen Beryl. "I don't want to hear you any more!"
Nephrite coughed.
"SSSHHHHHH!" shushed Jadeite, loudly. "SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR US ANY MORE!" he said in a loud whisper.
"OH, SORRY!" Nephrite whispered back, loudly.
"SHE TOLD YOU GUYS TO STOP TALKING!" whispered Zoisite. "BUT YOU'RE STILL TALKING!"
"NO, WE'RE WHISPERING!" screamed Nephrite, no longer whispering.
Queen Beryl screamed incoherently, silencing them all. "You know," she told them at last, "You guys are a bunch of dolts!"
"WOT!?" they asked in shock.
"You heard me!" she screamed.
"No, I actually didn't," said Zoisite. "Did you call us 'dolts?'"
"Yes, I did. Because you are dolts."
All three of them burst into laughter.
"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!" she shouted at them.
Between laughter, they got out the word "DOLTS?! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!"
"THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE! IT IS A PERFECTLY ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE BUNCH OF YOU!" Beryl shrieked, getting ready to kill them.
"No, I like it," Nephrite said, calming down from his insane fit of laughter. "Hey Zoisite! You're a dolt!"
"Can it, dolt!" replied Zoisite.
"You two are such dolts!" Jadeite joined in.
"Jadeite, you dolt!" Nephrite told him.
"I'm not a dolt! The rest of you are dolts for calling me a dolt since I am, by no means, a dolt!" Jadeite replied.
"That's exactly what a dolt would say, dolt!" said Zoisite.
"CAAAAAN IT!" Queen Beryl screamed. "If you want to know the truth, I didn't mean to use the word 'dolt.' Shut up about it already."
"Wow, Queen Beryl," said Zoisite. "You're such a dolt."
Queen Beryl fired a laser at them but they quickly fled.
After leaving Beryl's lair, Jadeite went to duel the Sailor Scouts.
Queen Beryl decided to watch from her crystal ball to see Jadeite die.
"Hello, Sailors!" said Jadeite.
"Ugh," they sighed. "Jadeite, we don't have any more money to give you! Get a job!" they yelled.
"No! I have a job! It just doesn't pay me!" Jadeite said defiantely. "I just wanted to tell you, you're all a bunch of dolts!"
"A bunch of WHAT!?" they yelled, rolling on the floor in laughter.
He started laughing as well. "LOL, that's hilarious, isn't it?"
"YES! You just made our day with that one XD!" they cried, unable to breath.
Queen Beryl stomped her foot in fury.
Then, she saw Nephrite appear there.
"What are you doing?" he asked. "Jadeite, you dolt!"
"I'm just calling the Sailors a bunch of dolts!" said Jadeite.
"Come on, Jadeite! You're supposed to be fighting these dolts! Don't be such a dolt!"
"Hey guys," Sailor Moon interrupted. "Why are you bickering amongst yourselves instead of fighting us? That's a dolt move!"
"Usagi!" cried Rei. "Why did you use their awful insult?"
"It's addictive, you dolt!" Usagi responded.
"Screw you, dolt!" said Rei. "Hey, I like it! That's much better than GRANOLA BAR!"
"You called her a GRANOLA BAR?!" Jadeite asked, laughing. "What a dolt!"
"Hey, you floating dolts!" said Rei. "Are you going to come down and fight us?"
"Nah, only dolts come down and fight people," said Nephrite. "Go, Youma! Get those dolts!"
Queen Beryl had seen enough. She turned off her ball.
Suddenly her phone rang.
"Hello? Beryl residence, Beryl speaking. How may I help you?" she asked.
"Knock knock!" said the voice on the phone.
"Huh?" said Beryl.
"Say, 'who's there!'" the voice told her.
"Who's there?" asked Beryl.
"DOLT!" yelled Zoisite, hanging up.
"I'm calling the police!" Queen Beryl screamed into the phone, although there was no longer anyone on the line.
The phone rang again.
"I'm calling the police!" she repeated. "Don't call here again!"
"This is the police!" Zoisite said between hysterical laughter. "We're arresting you for being a dolt!"
"You're the not the police! You think I'm kidding!?" Beryl shrieked.
"DOLT!"
Queen Beryl slammed down the phone, and called the actual police. "They think I'm bluffing, they'll see!" she said as the police put her on hold.
There was a knock on the door.
"Wow, that was fast!" Beryl applauded. "I didn't even get through to the non-emergency line yet, and they're already here!"
She opened the door to see two officers.
"Hello, officers. I have been receiving calls from an unknown caller, and they have been repeatedly calling me rude terms. Will you be able to trace who keeps calling me?"
"Why, yes," said the cop, "But what was the rude term they called you?"
"Well..." said Queen Beryl. "Is that really necessary?"
"Absolutely," said the other cop. "100%"
"Fine then. They called me a dolt."
"A WHAT!?" they both cried, falling over laughing.
"A DOLT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
The police officers took off their mustaches and hats, revealing that they were Jadeite and Nephrite.
"You must have been a dolt to have been called a dolt!" Nephrite stated.
"What kind of dolt calls the police over that?!" Jadeite asked. "DOLT!"
Queen Beryl started sputtering and foaming at the mouth.
Then, a real cop car pulled up. A female officer came to the door.
"Excuse me ma'am, are these two imposters causing you trouble?" she asked.
"Yes!" cried Beryl. "Take them away!"
The officer arrested Nephrite and Jadeite.
Three days later, Queen Beryl figured it was finally time to bail them out.
She walked down to the police station.
The officer that had arrested them greeted her at the front desk.
"I am here to post bail," Beryl told her. "For those dimwits!"
"You mean dolts?" asked the officer, snickering.
"Well, I suppose that would be a- wait a minute!" Queen Beryl yelled, trying to take off the officer's hat.
"Hold up there! Just pay the bail and I'll let them go!" the officer said.
"Fine," said Beryl.
"Thanks for the twenty!" said Zoisite, ripping off his disguise and running away.
Jadeite and Nephrite laughed from behind bars. "WHAT A DOLT!"
Queen Beryl ran over to their cell, and tried to hit them. But they moved to the back so she couldn't reach.
An officer came up behind her. "What are you doing, dolt?" he asked.
Queen Beryl turned around furiously. "Zoisite, you dolt!" she cried, slugging the officer.
His hat fell off and it wasn't Zoisite. She knew she was done for.
Queen Beryl spent a month in prison. It gave her time to cool down.
When she got back to the Negaverse, she called a meeting.
Jadeite, Nephrite, and Zoisite gathered in the meeting room.
"Where's Kunzite this time?" Beryl asked.
"Still fighting the Sailors," Zoisite informed her.
Kunzite had all of the Sailor Scouts in a bubble. There was no way out.
"You're done for now!" said Kunzite. "Just three more seconds, and you'll be crushed to death!"
"3... 2..."
Evil Mamoru threw a rose, and it hit him in the hands and destroyed the bubble.
Mamoru turned and made a hasty retreat.
"I SAW THAT!" screamed Kunzite.
"LOL!" said the Sailors.
"Anyway," Queen Beryl began. "Due to recent incidents, I am hereby banning the use of the word 'dolt!'"
"We can't say, 'dolt?'" asked Jadeite.
"Yes!" cried Beryl. "Stop saying it!"
"What kind of dolt would make you have to ban that word?" Nephrite asked.
"Probably you, you dolt!" said Zoisite.
"SILENCE!" screamed Beryl. "The next person who says 'dolt' will be killed on the spots. Do you understand?"
They all nodded.
Kunzite appeared suddenly. "Sorry I'm late, Queen Beryl. I was busy being sabotaged by Evil Mamoru. That guy sure is a dolt!"
Queen Beryl ended Kunzite.
"Man, what a dolt," said Jadeite, as Zoisite sobbed in the corner.
FIN
