A/N:
Thank you for your continued support, especially Mrs Carmichael, RachelMasonFan39, Lynny, Hannah5240 and fayeftvanity!

The italics are a session that Rachel is thinking about with Dr Williams the day after she had heard Mel on the phone.

Please enjoy.

The collateral damage of love

One glass.
Two glasses.
Three glasses.

The wine stained her lips, bringing them a darker shade everytime she took another sip. It was a school night, and she was mind numbingly drunk. It would be the only way to face him tomorrow. She hadn't told anyone about the phone call, and in all honesty, she was embarrassed.

She was single, lonely and ashamed. Her actions had caused the ending of her marriage and now she was suffering.

. . .

Rachel: I'm getting a divorce.

Dr Williams: Adam knows ...

Rachel: Yes.

Dr Williams: How did he react?

Rachel: Well he hates me. He can't even look at me.

Dr Williams: I'm sure he doesn't hate you. He just- .. it takes time to heal, you know that.

Rachel: Yes I know.

Dr Williams: Did you tell him?

Rachel: He found me and Eddie.

Dr Williams: Ah.

. . .

The day had dawned, and she woke to a torturous headache. She was almost sure she was still drunk. This would be hell. Bringing her legs to the side of her bed, she caught her reflection in the mirror. She had never seen herself look so well, unlike her. She took a moment to reflect. Drinking would solve nothing. It was a new day. They say that one day you wake up and realise; you realise what's important and what you need to do to fix yourself.

Today was the day that she would fix herself. She'd have a hangover, but she'd bloody well try.

She was tired of being sad. Dr Williams had been right, she would never fix herself wallowing in self pity.

. . .

Dr Williams: Are you tired?

Rachel: I'm tired everyday.

Dr Williams: No. Tired of being sad.

Rachel: I'm exhausted.

Dr Williams: So do something about it.

Rachel: What are you saying?

Dr Williams: Fix yourself. Stop worrying about others. Melissa, Eddie and Adam. They're gone. Fix yourself, Rachel.

. . .

She arrived at the school grounds and unbeknown to her, events had escalated with Eddie a few miles away. She clutched at her bag and made her way towards the doors. She cherished the silence before it would swarm with excited kids gearing up for the last day of term. It wasn't long before Tom arrived eager for the day ahead. Anything for football. He had seen her in the distance and ran to catch up with her.

'Rachel!', he called out.

She spun around to face the slightly out of breath English teacher. 'You okay Tom?', she quizzed.

He shifted, not sure where to look. He felt awkward. 'Yeah, look, I er, I just wanted to say I'm sorry'.

She frowned and looked quizzing at him, before asking, 'What for?'.

'Eddie. I should have asked about John Fosters coming before I asked him. I didn't think-', he rambled before she cut in.

'Tom, it's okay, honestly. Things have moved on. Let's just concentrate on winning this match, shall we?', she gave him a smile as she spoke. It was okay. This was okay.

He looked confused. Was she deflecting the issue or was she really okay? Still, he went with it, trusting she had been telling the truth.

'Er yeah sure'.

. . .

Dr Williams: Do you ever think maybe you need to find yourself before anything?

Rachel: Yes, but I know what I want.

Dr Williams: What is that?

Rachel: Eddie.

Dr Williams: So if you know then-

Rachel: He's back with Melissa.

Dr Williams: How do you know that? Have you asked him?

Rachel: No.

Dr Williams: Don't you think you should?

. . .
When Kim had told her that John Fosters had been asked to join the match, she knew that she'd have to face him. She hadn't been ready, but here she was. She was doing it for charity.

Here. We. Go

The crowds overwhelmed her as she joined the event on the field. Waterloo road one side and John Fosters another-from previous experience two schools would be hard enough. She scanned the boys playing and had spotted the likes of Bolton and Paul, at least they were behaving for now. Her eyes scanned towards the sideline, and just like that, she saw him. He was on his way over to her.

Sh*t.

She buried herself deeper into her coat to hide. Who was she bloody kidding? She found members of staff looking over to her as he neared closer. God, she really didn't need an audience. She diverted her eyes away from his, but couldn't escape him when she heard him clearing his throat.

'Avoiding me?', he said as he took the space next to her. His eyes also focused on the kids.

'No. I'm watching the kids', she said as she pulled her coat even closer.

He rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands in his pockets in annoyance. 'Oh give over Rachel', he mocked.

'Nice to see you and Mel are getting on again'. She couldn't help herself. She'd let it slip. She looked over to him as he crinkled his forehead in confusion.

'Melissa? How do you know about that?', he asked edging into her. She knew the staff were glaring, and she did not understand how to control this situation.

Gazing her attention back to the kids, she lowered her tone and replied, 'I know you were together the other night'.

His hands jolted from his pockets and he rose them in defence before desperately trying to convince her, 'Rachel, I swear it's not like that'.

'Save it Eddie, I don't want to know'. She was sharp with him. She wanted him to know that she wasn't doing this.

'You've got this so wrong!', Eddie exclaimed. His sudden outburst caused the surrounding staff and some pupils to suddenly stop their conversations. She could see concern amongst most of them and instantly felt the need to diffuse the conversation.

'Eddie, I don't want to know, now if you don't mind keeping your voice down-', before she had the chance to finish, he left her reeling with his latest news. 'Melissa, she's left Rach, and she's left Holly with me'.

Silence.

Holly. His daughter. For a minute or two, she had forgotten. How could Melissa have left her own child? It saddened Rachel that Melissa had the opportunity to be a mother, to love and to care for a tiny human being who doted on her. It made her feel sick. She felt the colour drain from her face, and she stood in disbelief before Eddie pleaded to her.

'Rachel, please, I need help. I need you'.