"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

Queen Beryl killed Jadeite.

"What was that for?" asked Nephrite.

"I'm sick of that queerboy being gey 4 days"

"But Queen Beryl-"

Queen Beryl killed Nephrite.

Zoisite showed up. "Hahahaha way to go, Beryl!"

Queen Beryl killed Zoisite.

"What was that for?" asked Kunzite.

"Kunzite go make me a sandwich," demanded Queen Beryl.

Kunzite made her a sandwich.

"Not good enough," said Beryl, smacking the sandwich away and killing Kunzite.

"Evil Mamoru enter my chambers!" she commanded.

Evil Mamoru came in and wasn't evil anymore.

"Shit," said Beryl.

Evil Mamoru killed Beryl.


A millennium passed, and Queen Metalia revived them all.

The Shitennou all glared at Beryl.

"Heh heh," said Queen Beryl. "No hard feelings, right? I was just having a bad day!"

"I forgive you," said Jadeite.

"Really?" asked Beryl.

"No," said Jadeite, charging Queen Beryl.

He only managed to get one slug in before Queen Beryl disposed of him.

"Queen Beryl, I thought you said you were sorry!" Kunzite exclaimed.

"I was but then he charged me!"

"You could have just slapped him away. Instead you killed him!"

Queen Beryl killed Kunzite.

Zoisite charged her. He only managed to get one slug in before Queen Beryl disposed of him.

Nephrite made a mad dash for the doorway, knowing what was coming.

Queen Beryl chased him down and tackled him to the floor.

"Please Beryl!" he begged. "Not again!"

Queen Beryl ended his story mercilessly.

"Oh well," thought Nephrite. "At least I was last man standing this time!"

Queen Metalia showed up.

"How are those guys I just revived?" Metalia asked.

Queen Beryl charged Metalia. She only got one slug in before being disposed of.

"Dammit," said Metalia, after killing Beryl.


Queen Metalia waited another 1,000 years before she had enough energy to revive them again.

"Ok guys," said Beryl, as the Shitennou cowered in the corner. "I promise I will not kill you this time."

They all charged Beryl at once. Beryl only managed to get one slug in, before the Shitennou finished her off.

"Wow, we did it!" said Jadeite. "Now we can all share the throne and-"

Nephrite took out Jadeite. "Now the throne is miiiiiine!"

Zoisite charged him, but this time he was ready. Nephrite finished Zoisite in one foul swoop.

Kunzite finished off Nephrite in one foul swoop.

Kunzite jumped off a bridge. "Hope next millennium will work out better," he sighed.


The next millennium, Queen Metalia realized that bringing them all back was bad news.

She only brought Jadeite back.

"Dang," thought dead Kunzite, "Maybe I shouldn't have taken those rebirths for granted."

Jadeite was happy to be alive.

"Now," began Queen Metalia.

Jadeite charged Queen Metalia.

He finished her off with one blow when she wasn't looking.

"NOOOOO!" cried Metalia. "YOU KNOW NOT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

Jadeite just laughed. "Now it's just me, and nothing will stand in my way of a good life!"

Sailor Moon showed up. Sailor Moon killed Jadeite. Metalia wasn't around to bring him back. Jadeite's story was over.


The Shitennou, Beryl, and Metalia all sat in the cafeteria in Hell.

"That was dumb," stated Beryl.

"Yeah." said Jadeite.

Queen Beryl killed Jadeite. Jadeite went down to Super Hell.

"What was that for?" asked Nephrite.

Queen Beryl sent Nephrite packing to Super Hell.

Queen Beryl grabbed Zoisite and was about to pummel him.

"If you're gonna send him to Super Hell," said Kunzite. "You'll have to go through me!"

Queen Beryl sent them both to Super Hell. But then she got too full of herself and charged Metalia. Metalia took her down with ease.

In Super Hell, there was an awkward silence. Then the Shitennou jumped her, and she fell so deep into the depths of Hell that she landed in Heaven.

Queen Serenity glared at her.

"Heya Queen Serenity!" said Queen Beryl. "No hard feelings, right?

Queen Serenity raised the Moon Crystal at her.

Queen Beryl's story ended.

FIN