"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Jadeite I swear if it's another human computer game I'm gonna be really mad!"

"Oh nevermind," said Jadeite, closing his laptop and running away.

When he got back to his space he reopened the laptop.

"Time to play Undertale!"

Jadeite began fighting Toriel, a character from the beginning of the game.

He did a single attack. She died.

"NOOOOOOOO!" cried Jadeite. "I wanted to spare her! WAaaaaAAAAAAAaaAAaA!"

"That's it," decided Jadeite, filled with grief and self-loathing. "Now that I can't do the true pacifist route, I'll have to kill everything!"

Jadeite began killing everything.

"This is so much fun!" cried Jadeite. "It's like real life, if I was good!"

The other three Shitennou came into his space.

"Jadeite, what are you doing?" asked Nephrite skeptically.

"I'm playing UNDERTALE!" explained Jadeite.

"What is that?" wondered Zoisite.

"Oh, only the greatest masterpiece to ever grace the internet!"

"Must be lame if you like it..." sneered Zoisite.

"No, because it doesn't have a bad fan base, like FNAF!" Jadeite replied.

"What?" Zoisite asked.

"Only cool kids know what FNAF is," laughed Jadeite.

"Why are you killing that poor doggo?" asked Nephrite.

"Because I'm killing EVERYTHING!"

"Hahaha," laughed Kunzite. "It's like real life, if you were good!"

"Exactly!"

"Let me play!" demanded Nephrite.

"No, I must beat it on my own!"

Nephrite shoved Jadeite to the ground and stole his laptop.

"What's this button do?" Nephrite asked. It read "Mercy."

Nephrite clicked it and then clicked spare.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jadeite wailed. "Look what you did!"

"I spared an innocent?" Nephrite replied in confusion.

"No you ruined my genocide route!"

Jadeite reset his game in fury.

"Hey Jadeite it says here on the Wiki that you could have just closed the game without saving and tried again," Zoisite informed him.

"Wikipedia isn't a good source to cite!" Jadeite stated confidently.

Zoisite slugged him and then slugged Nephrite snatched the laptop. "My turn!"

He walked down this path with waterfalls. "When can I fight that Undyne guy the people keep talking about?"

Undyne hit him a spear.

"COME AND FIGHT ME YOU COWARD!" yelled Zoisite at the computer.

Undyne hit him with another spear.

"GET OUT HERE!"

He walked onto a bridge. Undyne cut the bridge and he fell into a garbage dump.

"WHAT A PUSS!" Zoisite cried furiously. "I would always fight a fair 1v1, unlike this no life!"

"I don't think so," remarked Nephrite.

"Shut it or I'll send someone else to kill you!"

Finally they got towards the end. Kunzite was barely able to pry the computer away.

"Now I can take my turn at this riveting game!"

Kunzite went up the elevator in the core, and appeared in a city.

"Alright, exciting adventure, here we go!"

He started walking through the castle city. He kept walking. "Ok... when do I get to fight something..."

He continued walking. He walked some more.

Then he was in some house.

"OMG!" cried Jadeite. "Ok so you wouldn't know this cuz you weren't here at the beginning, but that's the same house from the beginning! This is a major plot point!"

"What does it mean?!" demanded Nephrite, way too involved.

"Well it says here on the Wiki-" began Zoisite.

"NO GET OFF THERE!" barked Jadeite, breaking Zoisite's iPad.

"Does it mean I will fight someone soon?!" Kunzite cried in frustration. "This purple hall isn't ending! The scenery isn't even moving because of poor graphics, am I going anywhere or is the character just moving its feet?!"

He finally got to a door. "Oh boy maybe something will happen!"

He entered a hall with stained glass windows. "Oh boy a change of scenery!"

He encountered a skeleton man with a blue jacket.

"OMG!" cried Jadeite. "It's Sans! This is where he judges you!"

"Heya," said Sans.

Suddenly he jumped Kunzite and they were in a fight.

"WHAT?!" yelled Jadeite. "THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!? OMG WE MUst HAVE UNLOCKED SOMETHING NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT BY KILLING EVERYTHING! WE NEED TO TELL EVERYONE OF OUR DISCOVERY!"

"Yeah," agreed Nephrite. "I'm sure no one has ever been as cruel or as evil as we are, and killed everything!"

"It's a beautiful day outside," said Sans. "Birds are chirping, flowers are blooming..."

"This is so gay!" whined Kunzite. "WHEN DO I GET TO FIGHT?!"

"On days like this, kids like you..."

"OMG!" Kunzite complained again.

"Should be burning in Hell!"

"WHAT?!" gasped Kunzite. "Is he allowed to say that?!"

Sans instantly killed Kunzite with his first attack.

"What the fuUUUUUUAWEfWEFWejfwoeioeio!" Kunzite wailed. "I finally get in a fight, and that happens!"

"Maybe it's because your bad," inferred Nephrite.

"Why don't you try then?"

"I gladly will!"

"I think it's over forever guys," Jadeite figured. "There's no way he'll fight you again, I'm sure that was just a one time Easter egg."

"It's not Easter, bozo," said Zoisite.

"That's not-"

"Can it, I'm taking a turn!"

"I wanted to try!" barked Nephrite. "I called it!"

"Call yourself, son!"

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?"

Zoisite hopped up to the plate.

"Don't give up hope, Coolboi Jed!" the game read.

"You named your character Coolboi Jed?" Kunzite asked.

"Hey man don't judge."

Zoisite entered the Sans fight.

"If I'm correct, I've beat you once already!" Sans mocked.

"HOW DOES HE KNOW THAT?!" cried Zoisite. "THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! HE'S A MONSTER! A FREAK OF NATURE!"

Sans insta-killed Zoisite. Zoisite managed to get one dodge before Sans finished him off for good.

"I'm taking my turn now," declared Nephrite. "And I won't stop until I beat him!"


"If I'm correct," said Sans. "I've beaten you 384 times!"

Nephrite's eye twitched. He took a deep breath. He was ready.

Sans fired his first attack. Nephrite knew the attack and all the hit boxes by now. He dodged.

"OMG!" everyone gasped.

"Ok, I have to be incredibly careful about choosing my next move," realized Nephrite, panting. "It's the first time I've actually gotten to where the music starts playing, I can't fail now!"

As Nephrite contemplated whether he should do an action or an attack, his hearts started going down rapidly.

"WHAT THE HELL!? HE CAN'T ATTACK ME WHILE I PICK A MOVE!"

But Sans didn't listen. Right when Nephrite was down to 10 HP, he finally picked an attack.

It missed.

"Do you think I'm just gonna stand there and take it?" asked Sans.

"I was hoping so!"

"Well you hoped wrong!"

"Wait wtf?!" gasped Nephrite when Sans directly responded to him.

Sans threw his next move, a Gaster Blaster, and Nephrite had no hope. He died.

"GRRRRRRRRR!" he roared.


"That was rough," said Jadeite, launching up the game again after getting dunked on for the 899th time. "But I have... DETERMINATION!" he said, nudging Kunzite.

Kunzite backhanded him. His eyes were bloodshot. "I'm not in the mood!"

Jadeite whimpered sadly. He approached Sans yet again.

"I'm making you pretty mad, huh Jedy?" Sans mocked.

"Hey wait a minute," said Jadeite disturbed. "That's not what I named my character!"

"Jadeite, you're a sack of garbage!"

"WTF!" Jadeite cried, getting genuinely afraid.

Sans chuckled at Jadeite's fear. "Why are you here fighting me, when you could be getting hit by a plane?"

Jadeite gasped.

"I must be hallucinating," said Jadeite desperately. "I've been playing too long."

He passed the computer to Nephrite.

"Man Nephrite, you're even worse than Jadeite!" mocked Sans.

"HUH!?"

"At least Jadeite doesn't try to date minors, like Molly!"

"Who told you about my Molly!" Nephrite screamed at the game.

Zoisite peaked over Nephrite's shoulder and yelled at the computer screen. "I've had about enough of you, Sans!"

"Yeah, this guy has crossed the line," agreed Kunzite, leaning over Nephrite's other shoulder.

"Oh look who finally decided to show up!" taunted Sans. "It's Gay 1 and Gay 2!"

"WAHT?!" they both gasped. "He does he know our sexuality?!"

"It's not to hard to tell," laughed Sans.

Jadeite couldn't take it anymore. He was going to go insane.

He grabbed a chair from the corner of his empty space and charged the computer. "I MUST END THIS!"

He smashed the screen.

"Phew, that got rid of him!" Jadeite said relieved.

Suddenly the broken computer screen lit up with white light. A skeletal hand stuck out.

"no no no No No NO NO NO NO!"

Sans jumped out of the computer.

"Heya!"

He pulled them all into a battle arena.

Kunzite charged like a wild man. He summoned a sword and leapt into the air. He slashed at Sans but Sans side-stepped like he does in game.

Sans stuck his hand out to Kunzite, and his eye glowed blue.

Kunzite started glowing blue too.

Sans shot out his hand and Kunzite went flying across the room into a wall like a toy.

Sans swept his arm to the other side, and Kunzite hit into the other wall. He started bouncing Kunzite around the room.

"Stop!" cried Zoisite. He charged Sans while he thought he was distracted, but Sans turned around and saw him coming. He threw Kunzite directly at him and they both flew into the ceiling and fell to the ground in a pile.

"Everything is ruled by the stars," chanted Nephrite, charging up an energy blast. He shot it but Sans teleported behind him.

"Shit!" exclaimed Jadeite. "An opponent that can finally teleport like us!"

Sans shot a huge wall of bones out of the ground and in their direction.

Nephrite and Jadeite ran for their lives. They were so busy looking back at the wall as they ran that they didn't notice a second wall forming in front of them.

Sans closed in the walls and squashed them.

Then he did something unprecedented. Both his eyes lit up blue.

With each hand, he telepathically made Nephrite and Jadeite turn blue, and then threw them both back and forth into the walls.

"THIS ISN'T FUN ANYMORE!" cried Jadeite.

"It was never really fun," said Nephrite thoughtfully, before hitting the wall again.

Kunzite crawled over to Sans with the sword he had made, and rose up behind him.

"This is for calling me Gay 2!" he screamed, swinging the sword down passionately.

Sans side-stepped.

"D'oh," said Kunzite. He fell down, as he had used his last drop of energy on that attack.

Sans was starting to get exhausted from sending Nephrite and Jadeite flying around for 20 minutes.

His movements got slower, and finally he set them on the ground.

"You know what," said Sans.

Zoisite tried to lift a single finger, but Sans formed a Gaster Blaster and burnt him to a crisp.

"You know what," repeated Sans. "One of these turns you're just gonna kill me..."

"I doubt it," said Jadeite. "We're really bad, and we're getting weaker faster than you are."

"Can it!" cried Nephrite.

"You know what I'm gonna do?" said Sans. "I'm gonna use my special attack."

"OH NO," began Kunzite. "OHHHHH NO!"

"Here it is," said Sans. Nothing happened.

The Shitennou looked at each other.

"If I don't attack, then it will never be your turn. If it's never your turn, you can't defeat me."

"Actually," said Jadeite.

Nephrite slugged him.

"Jokes on you," said Zoisite trying to lift another finger. "I don't wait for my turn!"

He finally got a burst of strength and charged.

Sans' eye lit up and Zoisite warped back to his place.

He tried charging again, but Sans just warped him back.

"D'oh, I thought if anyone would have been good at not playing by the rules, it would have been me. Oh well, this guy has truly bested me," admitted Zoisite, lying down and giving up.

After a couple hours, Sans eyes started to close from tiredness.

"Now's our chance!" yelled Jadeite, charging.

Sans sprung up and warped Jadeite back.

"LOL NICE TRY!"

"Omg," complained Nephrite. "He was almost asleep!"

"Aww shucks, I'm sorry."

After another six hours, Sans' eyes started to close again.

"He's starting to fall asleep again!" Jadeite exclaimed.

Sans awoke and warped him back.

"DAMMIT!"

"STOP THAT!" yelled Nephrite.

Jadeite got sick of waiting after three more hours and tried to charge again.

Sans was wide awake this time and shut him down with ease.

"WAAAAA!" yelled Jadeite. He couldn't take it anymore.

He just started charging repeatedly. Sans warped him back over and over again.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" he cried louder.

Finally Jadeite tired himself out and fell asleep.

"Thank goodness," said Nephrite.

At long last, after eight hours, Sans fell asleep.

"Guys," whispered Nephrite, nudging Jadeite who was still sleeping. "He's finally fallen asleep! Let's make our move!"

All four of them charged Sans with all they had.

Right at the last second, Sans warped away.

"NOOOOOOO!" they cried falling on top of each other.

Sans teleported two feet away from their pile. He shrugged and winked.

"Didja really think-"

Suddenly a crystal stabbed through him.

"Whelp," said Sans. "I guess that's that. See you at Grillboy's!"

He disappeared back into his game.

"Who... who saved us?" Jadeite asked in awe.

Standing in the doorway was Evil Queen Beryl.

"BERYL! YOU'RE A LIFESAVER!" Jadeite exclaimed, tears forming in his eyes.

"That's funny Jadeite because that's actually what I came here to talk to you about!"

"Uh oh!" said Jadeite.

Queen Beryl went to end his story.

"Wait Beryl! If I don't attack, you can't kill me, because it won't be your turn!"

Queen Beryl killed Jadeite.

"LOLOLOLO!" laughed the other three Shitennou.

"Don't laugh at me!" yelled Beryl. She went to kill them too.

They jumped into Undertale to escape.

"That was a close one," panted Nephrite, as the three of them appeared on a patch of yellow flowers.

"Howdy!" said a nice looking flower, approaching from behind. "You guys wanna know the first rule of the underground?"

"Uh... sure!" said Kunzite.

"It's kill or be killed!"

The flower started firing bullets at them.

"WAAAAAA!" yelled Nephrite.

FIN