"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Good work, Jadeite!" replied Beryl. "You know, Jadeite, you've been doing a lot of good work lately..."

"Haha, good one," said Jadeite. "Is this the part where you say "JK" and then kill me?"

"No, no," said Beryl. "This is serious. You all have been doing great work."

Jadeite waited for her to say "JK" and kill him.

"To reward you all for your efforts, I bought a pool table for the rec room!"

"We have a rec room?" asked Jadeite.

"We do now!"

"Aww sweet, thanks Beryl!"

"Now whatever you do, just don't mess with the equiment. It's professional quality and very expensive, so no goofing off!"

"Gotcha Beryl!" promised Jadeite, running to the pool table.

The others appeared instantly.

"Oh boy, I heard we got a pool table!" exclaimed Zoisite.

"AWWW YEEEEEA!" said Nephrite.

"LET'S PLAY LET'S PLAY!"

Kunzite took the balls and put them in the central triangle. Then he gave everyone their cues, and put the white ball down.

"Umm, quick question," interrupted Nephrite. "How do we play pool?"

"Well, you hold your cue like this, and you hit the white ball into the other balls, trying to pocket them!" Kunzite explained, giving a demonstration.

"BORING!" yelled Nephrite.

"When do I get my racket?" asked Jadeite.

"No rackets," said Kunzite.

"Aww, looks like we just use these baseball bats!" Jadeite inferred.

"Those aren't baseball bats, those are pool cues," Kunzite tried to warn him.

"Pool cues, like cue tips?" asked Jadeite, cleaning his ear with the pool cue.

"Cut that out!" yelled Kunzite.

"I think I'm getting the hang of this, guys," said Zoisite, sliding the pool cue on the table and pushing all the balls in the hole. "I win!"

"No, no, no," said Kunzite, resetting the balls. "You tap the ball with the end of the stick-"

"Like this?" asked Nephrite. He threw a ball up in the air and hit it like a baseball. It broke a window.

"Welp there goes the eight ball," sighed Kunzite.

"Look guys, I'm the Amazon Quartet!" yelled Jadeite, throwing a ball at Zoisite.

It knocked him over and his dream mirror fell out. Nephrite got a quick peak.

"Awww, gay!" he wailed, pulling his head out right away.

"GET OUT OF THERE!" barked Zoisite.

"Guys, seriously. I'll take my turn now and you can watch how I do it." Kunzite lined his cue up to the ball, ready to hit another ball into the hole.

He hit the ball, and it was going in the perfect direction.

Nephrite snatched it. "Haha, three strikes and your out!" he laughed.

"You idiot, this is pool!"

"Pool?" repeated Jadeite, pulling out goggles and a snorkle. He put on a rubber duckie life raft and leaped on the table.

It messed up all the balls and Kunzite's perfect shot was no more.

"STOOOOOP!" yelled Kunzite.

"Why did Queen Beryl get us a bad game like ping pong, anyway?" Zoisite whined.

"Pool," Kunzite corrected.

"Same thing," said Zoisite. "But she could have gotten us Ms. Pacman!"

"Aww I love Ms. Pacman!" said Jadeite. "Let's go sell the pool table, and get us Ms. Pacman."

They started hauling the table out.

"STOP!" yelled Kunzite, blocking the door. "Queen Beryl got this for us as a gift! It would be rude to sell it!"

"Fiiiiine," they all sighed. They put the table back in its spot.

"Let's play this legit!" declared Jadeite. "For Beryl!"

Kunzite raised an eyebrow. "I doubt you're serious."

Jadeite handed everyone a ball. "Now here's my variation of pool. We all roll our balls in from the corner, and they all collide, and then if yours goes in a hole you win!"

"Brilliant!" exclaimed Nephrite. "This is much funner than Kunzite's gibberish Australian rules!"

"I'm down!" said Zoisite.

Kunzite reluctantly went along.

"Ok, 1...," began Jadeite. "2..."

"3!" yelled Zoisite.

They all chucked their balls down at the table. The balls bounced wildly off the table in different directions.

Jadeite took cover. Nephrite and teleported away and to the other side of the room. Zoisite slid under the table.

Kunzite got nailed in the face with a ball.

"Oof! Who's ball was this?!" he screamed, holding up the orange ball.

Jadeite made a break for it. Kunzite shot him down.

After being struck, Jadeite tripped and collided with the pool cues. They all flew wildly and trapped Kunzite against the wall by his clothes.

He tried to pull the cues off him, but he wasn't quick enough. He was a sitting duck as the other three balls nailed him in the face as well.

"I'll help you out!" yelled Zoisite, trying to run over.

He tripped on a ball, and fell and knocked over the pool table. The table smashed to pieces, and one of the pieces flew and nailed Kunzite in the face.

"Sorry!" cried Zoisite.

"I've had just about enough of you, Nephrite!" yelled Jadeite.

"WTF did I do?" asked Nephrite.

"ON GUARD!" yelled Jadeite. Jadeite grabbed a pool cue from Kunzite and charged Nephrite. Nephrite thought fast and grabbed one as well.

They started dueling it out.

Zoisite stumbled to his feet. But he was disoriented from hitting his head on the table, and stumbled amidst Nephrite and Jadeite's battle.

They didn't see him in time and he got comboed by both of their pool cues.

"Guys, stooooooop!" cried Kunzite from against the wall.

Zoisite was enraged after getting hit twice with cues. He pieced together the pool table magically, and then smashed Jadeite and Nephrite on the head with it.

"OOOF!" they both cried.

When the pool table smashed the second time, the balls that were inside it went flying everywhere.

Kunzite got nailed in the face half a dozen times before blacking out.

Jadeite, Nephrite, and Zoisite were bombarded.

"TAKE COVER!" Jadeite cried.

"WHERE?! THERE'S NO POOL TABLE TO HIDE BEHIND ANYMORE!" yelled Nephrite.

They all scattered.

Nephrite looked over his shoulder, and saw two pool balls trailing him. He took a sharp turn, but they turned as well. Nephrite tripped over a pool cue and fell. He cringed as the balls finished him off.

Jadeite was running for his life as well. He knew his only escape was to leap out the window. He tried to use a pool cue to pole vault to safety, but he was too heavy and it snapped in half. Jadeite flew into the wall.

Zoisite laughed as he stole Jadeite's idea and leaped out the window. "That was a close one," he chortled, thinking he had avoided the balls.

But then he saw four balls trailing him as he fell. "Oh well, I learned in Negaschool that because of gravity acceleration, we should all fall at the same speed, so they'll never reach me since I got a head start!"

But the pool balls didn't listen to gravity. They flew down faster than Zoisite, and when they got far enough ahead, they turned around and flew up at him. Zoisite flailed crazily mid-air, knowing he was done for.

The balls hit him in the head and made him start spinning like a cart wheel. He fell painfully into the bushes, where the balls followed and delivered their final blow. But Zoisite wasn't dead yet. He stumbled to his feet and started limping away. But then he tripped over the rogue eight ball from earlier and was defeated.


Meanwhile, in the rec room...

Jadeite got to his feet, and grabbed another pool cue and charged Nephrite.

"WHAT DO I DO TO MAKE YOU PEOPLE HATE ME SO MUCH?!" cried Nephrite. He knew he had no strength left to fight, so his best effort was to hold a pool cue up in defense.

Just then, Beryl entered the room.

Jadeite and Nephrite spotted Beryl just as their pool cues broke in half.

"Hey guys, so are you enjoying your-"

Then Beryl stopped speaking.

Zoisite poked his head in the window. He spotted Beryl and jumped back down.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE NEW POOL SET!" screeched Beryl. "THAT WAS 5,000 NEGABUCKS!"

"Well," said Nephrite. "That was your own fault for trusting us with something that expensive."

Suddenly Kunzite woke up.

"Beryl, m'lady!" he called. "Mind helping me down from here?"

"Kunzite," Beryl said slowly. "Why didn't you control these goobers? Why is the pool table, the pool cues, and the pool balls, all in shambles?"

"Well you see, m'lady..."

"NO EXCUSES!" shouted Beryl. "I'm never getting you goobers a gift again!"

"Does that mean no Ms. Pacman?" asked Jadeite.

Queen Beryl killed Jadeite.

FIN