"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"What is it, Jadeite? Make it snappy!"

"I found out the humans have this holiday called Easter! I did a lot of research and learned all about it, so I could inform you!"

Queen Beryl adjusted her bunny ears. She also had face paint on with whiskers and a bunny nose.

"I know what Easter is, Jadeite."

"Aww, ya do?" he asked, disappointed. "But I wrote this whole essay!"

"Burn it!"

"WAAAAA!"

"Jadeite why aren't you wearing the bunny ears I left in your mailbox?"

"I have a mailbox?"

"SLEEP FOREVER!"

Jadeite fled within an inch of his life.

"Well gosh, I can't let all this research I did go to waste," decided Jadeite. "I must set up what the humans call, an 'egg hunt!'"


Jadeite ran into the main throne room.

"GUYS GUYS GUYS!" he exclaimed. "I have something awesome for you to do!"

They all turned and glared at him.

"Jadeite," said Nephrite. "Can't you see we're playing jacks here?"

"Yeah, you goober!" yelled Zoisite. "You made me miss a jack, Jack!"

"Oh I'm sorry," apologized Jadeite. "But I have set up an EASTER EGG HUNT for you all to do!"

Kunzite scowled at him. "Jadeite."

"Do you think we are 12 years old?" he asked.

"Do you want me to?" asked Jadeite.

"Jadeite you're a disgrace," said Kunzite.

"Well gosh you didn't have to hurt my feelings."

Jadeite left the room, hanging his head.

He walked up to Beryl.

"Queen Beryl, since you're in the Easter spirit, do you want to do an egg hunt I set up?"

"Jadeite why aren't you wearing the bunny ears?"

"I couldn't find them, m'lady."

"Jadeite get out of my sight."

"Yes m'lady."

Jadeite moped back to his room. "If my fellow Shitennou won't do the egg hunt that I so painstakingly set up, I guess I'll just have to ask randoms!"

He teleported to Earth.


"Hey Grandpa!" exclaimed Jadeite. "Want to hunt for eggs?"

"No but you can hunt for my willy," said Rei's Grandpa.

"Excuse me?!" demanded Jadeite.

Grandpa fled.

Jadeite teleported to Juuban high school.

"Hey kids!" he said.

"Eww it's Jadeite," said Melvin.

"How do you know my name?!" he demanded.

"I know everyone's name!" chuckled Melvin. "Even Nephrite's! He's my favorite Shitennou!"

"Well anyway," said Jadeite. "Do any of you want to come to my egg hunt?"

"Where is it?" asked Molly.

"In the Negaverse!"

"Sounds like a trap," said Usagi.

"But it's not!" Jadeite promised.

"I don't believe you!"

"Look, I even got this bus to take you all to the Negaverse!"

"Jadeite, is this one of your plans to steal energy?" Usagi asked.

"No! I mean it was gonna be, but then Queen Beryl-"

Uasgi, Molly, and Melvin fled.

"DRATS!" yelled Jadeite. "But I must keep trying!"


"Listen, guys, I know you don't want to do the egg hunt, but-" began Jadeite, to his fellow Shitennou.

"Jadeite, can't you see we're in the middle of hopscotch?!" barked Kunzite.

"Dammit Jadeite!" cried Nephrite. "I stepped on the space where I threw my rock! Now I have to start over!"

"Oh come on," whined Jadeite. "An egg hunt is funner than this!"

"I just told you, Jadeite," said Kunzite. "We are not 12 years old."

Kunzite threw his rock and skipped across the hopscotch board.

"..." said Jadeite.

He stood there and watched glumly as they had a good time without him.

"Aww fine, I'll leave," said Jadeite, not leaving.

He was ignored.

"It's just a shame that all those awesome prizes I put in the eggs will go to waste..."

"Prizes...?" began Zoisite, pausing in the middle of the hopscotch board.

"Oh yeah, a whole bunch of them!" exclaimed Jadeite.

"Pssh," scoffed Nephrite. "Like what? Candy? Bouncy balls?"

"Yep! And some other random stuff I found lying around. For example, Nephrite's credit card, Nephrite's car keys, Queen Beryl's crystal ball, a twenty karot diamond, Zoisite's iPod, Kunzite's cape..."

"WTF!?" they all shouted.

Kunzite spun around and didn't see his cape. "WAAAT?!"

"I want Nephrite's credit card!" exclaimed Zoisite.

"I want Zoisite's iPod!" yelled Nephrite. "I can delete all the songs!"

"You monster!"

"Oh and there's even more!" Jadeite went on. "Like a used toothbrush, an empty gum pack, the silver imperium crystal, a toenail clipping-"

"WAIT WHAT!?" screamed Beryl, running in.

"A toenail clipping?" Jadeite repeated.

"No, before that!"

"Zoisite's iPod?"

"After that!"

"The silver imperium crystal?"

"Yeah that one! WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!" barked Beryl.

"Usagi dropped it when I was chasing after her and begging her to go to my egg hunt!"

"AND WHERE IS IT NOW?!" Beryl shouted.

"In one of the eggs."

"Which egg?"

"Beats me!"

"JADEITE!" she howled, going to kill him.

"If you kill me, I won't tell ya where I hid the eggs!" Jadeite cried, thinking fast.

Queen Beryl hesitated.

"Ok, here's where I hid the eggs," he said at last. "All throughout the Negaverse! Happy hunting!"

Beryl killed Jadeite. "Alright," she said to the other Shitennou. "You guys stay here while I-"

But everyone was gone.

"GRRR!" screamed Beryl. She dashed through the Negaverse searching desperately.

She grabbed a random egg that was hidden on her throne and smashed it open. It was Nephrite's car keys. She threw them out the window.

The she ran down a corridor, and as she ran she passed Grandpa and Melvin. They had somehow gotten word of the prizes, and had teamed up to find them.

"Awww sweet!" yelled Melvin, opening an egg. "This one had Kunzite's cape!"

He put it on and sped away.

Kunzite watched Melvin run by out of the corner of his eye and chased after him.

"No Kunzite, come back! You need to help me search!" cried Zoisite.

"Sorry but you're on your own now, this is personal!"

Grandpa dashed through the Negaverse and opened eggs at full speed. After 20 used toothbrushes, he found Zoisite's iPod.

"All these songs are gay," he said deleting them all.

"You jerk!"

"WHY CAN'T I FIND ANY EGGS!" cried Beryl.

"Yay I finally found one!" exclaimed Nephrite.

Beryl swatted it out of his hand and stole it.

She smashed it open. "Eww, Nephrite's credit card!"

She punted it out the window right in front of Nephrite.

Nephrite gasped.

He leaped out the window after it. He fell into the void. "Aww sweet, an egg down here!" he called from the bottom of the void.

Queen Beryl leaped in after it, but couldn't find it. When she flew out, Nephrite grabbed on and secretly escaped to safety.

"BATHROOM BREAK!" called Melvin. He ran into the lady's room and locked the door, trapping Kunzite outside.

"Look at that!" he exclaimed. "An egg in the toilet!"

He pulled it out. There was a roll of toilet paper inside.

"Aww yea, a win!"

"GIVE ME MY CAPE!" yelled Kunzite, smashing down the door.

Melvin quickly flushed himself down the toilet.

"Kids have been doing this to me for years!" he called as he escaped.

Kunzite dived headfirst into the toilet, but couldn't fit.

Queen Beryl kept dashing through the halls, when suddenly an egg fell out of her dress.

"... How did Jadeite get that in there?" she asked disturbed.

She smashed it open. It was a raw egg and splattered everywhere. "GAH!" she yelled.

Next she checked Metalia's room.

There was an egg perched peculiarly on top of Metalia's vessel. Metalia was sound asleep.

Careful not to wake her, Beryl tiptoed into the room. "Almost got it..." she grunted, reaching for the egg. She tripped and fell inside Metalia, who devoured her.

Meanwhile, Nephrite began communicating with the stars. "Stars, give me the power to find eggs!"

The stars dropped out a black crystal.

"OH BOY THESE ALWAYS WORK WELL!" exclaimed Nephrite.

He pointed the black crystal. "Take me to the eggs!"

It nodded.

Zoisite spotted him with the black crystal. "He's gonna use that to find the silver crystal! I must steal it!"

Nephrite hopped in his car and drove down the street. Zoisite leaped after him and grabbed onto the tail pipe.

Five hours later, Zoisite tapped on his window. He was on the windshield of the car.

"Let me in!" he yelled. "It's raining!"

"WTF?!" cried Nephrite. "Where did you come from?!"

He turned on his windshield whipers. Zoisite was pushed off the car and stranded in the middle of the desert.

"WHY IS IT POURING IN THE DESERT!"

Nephrite continued on. "Am I even in the Negaverse anymore?" he wondered.

Finally the crystal stopped blinking and he knew he was at his destination.

He barged into the barn, where hens were laying eggs everywhere.

"THESE AREN't EASTER EGGS!" he wailed. "THEY'RE JUST REGULAR EGGS!" He started slugging the chickens.

Suddenly, a hillbilly with a shotgun appeared and started open firing on Nephrite. He teleported at the last second, but not before getting snipped in the foot.

"YOUCH!" he called.

"STARS!" he demanded. "WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME!?"

The stars gave a guilty expression. "I mean, you didn't actually say Easter eggs, all you said was eggs."

"WAAAA!"

"Why didn't you ask for something that would find the silver crystal, since that's what you were really looking for?" the stars wondered.

"Things like that never seem to work," sighed Nephrite, throwing in the towel at last.

Melvin finally shot out of the sewer pipes.

"I'm a free elf!" he yelled.

Kunzite appeared behind him.

"Yuh oh!" cried Melvin. His legs ran on their own, and Melvin's body had to leap on top of his legs to keep up.

"Gotta blast!"

But Kunzite summoned a lasso and caught Melvin. He reeled him in.

"Aww nuts," chortled Melvin. "Whelp, here's your cape!"

It was covered in sewage.

"You know, capes are overrated," decided Kunzite, leaving.

"Hey can you let me go?" asked Melvin.

Kunzite picked up Melvin and threw him into the sun.

Finally Zoisite crawled back from the desert.

"Kunzite it was awful! It was both raining, snowing, and sandstorming! But now that I'm back, we can find the silver crystal!"

"The what?" remembered Kunzite.

Right on cue, Granpda called out, "I FOUND IT!"

He had the silver crystal.

"Hey Gramps, put in the middle? Fair fight?" asked Zoisite.

"Sure!" said Grandpa.

"Aww yea!" grinned Zoisite. "eZ snatch!"

Kunzite got in position.

Zoisite put twenty dollars in the middle, and Grandpa layed down the crystal.

Kunzite appeared in the middle to take the crystal, but while he was gloating, Mamoru appeared and swatted him down. He took the silver crystal and put it on the end of his stick.

"Not so fast!" yelled Kunzite, shooting a boomerang at him.

Mamoru reflected it with the silver crystal.

Kunzite tried to cape block, but he no longer had his cape. He died from his own minor attack.

"Ah well, in retrospect I guess the cape wouldn't have been much help anyway," sighed Kunzite as he died.

"D'oh," said Zoisite.

Mamoru took over the world with Grandpa as his queen.

FIN