"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"What is it, Ja-"

"Queen Beryl!" cried Zoisite running in.

"Zoisite! What is the meaning of this! I was about to berate Jadeite!"

"Berate? D:" gasped Jadeite.

"Queen Beryl, Nephrite left the coffee machine on in the break room! He needs to be punished!" exclaimed Zoisite.

"Interesting," said Beryl.

"Wait, Queen Beryl!" shouted Nephrite dashing in. "Zoisite framed me! I have it on video!"

"Lies! Call his bluff, Queen Beryl!" yelled Zoisite.

"Ok, show me the video," demanded Beryl.

"Shit, I didn't think she'd actually call his bluff!" Zoisite exclaimed.

Nephrite went to give Queen Beryl the camera but Zoisite ran up and punted the camera into the abyss.

"Zoisite, what was that for?" barked Beryl.

"I have reason to believe that camera was a bomb!" cried Zoisite, thinking fast. "Can you punish Nephrite now?"

"Maybe I should punish YOUUUUUU!" screamed Beryl, her hair flying around wildly.

"WAAAA!" Zoisite gasped.

Nephrite let out a chortle.

"Queen Beryl!" cried Zoisite. "Nephrite thinks something is funny! Punish him!"

"Maybe I should punish YOUUUUUU!" screamed Beryl.

"UWAAAAH!"

Zoisite ran away crying.

"Queen Beryl," began Nephrite, trying to hold back his giggles. "Zoisite went out of his way to try and get my in trouble. First he left the coffee machine on and blamed me, then he accused me of thinking something was funny! You should punish him," Nephrite suggested, figuring it was worth a try.

"Don't push your luck," warned Beryl.

"Yes m'queen."

"So," said Jadeite. "Wanna hear that new source of energy?"

"Go away," said Beryl. "I'm not in the mood anymore."

"D'awwww."


Kunzite sat in his office, filling out his tax return.

Suddenly, he heard a loud grinding sound.

"Wtf?" he asked, turning around.

He spotted Evil Endymion shredding the papers he had finished.

"LOLOLOL!" laughed Endymion.

"Chiba!" yelled Kunzite. He charged Mamoru, but Mamoru leapt out a window and flew away.

Kunzite leaned out the window and shook his fist. "One of these days, Chiba!"

Kunzite finally redid his taxes, and got in his car to head to the post office. But when he went to drive away, his car wouldn't drive right. Realizing the cause was a flat tire, he hopped out to have a look.

His tire was pierced by a black rose.

"CHIBAAAA!" he yelled to the sky.


Queen Beryl sat on her throne as usual.

"What am I doing with my life?" she wondered.

Zoisite appeared in her room, out of range so he couldn't be spotted.

"Maybe she's calmed down by now…"

Zoisite approached her cautiously.

"So Zoisite, any progress?"

"Nah, but I have some juicy info to report!"

"Is it about Nephrite?" Beryl asked.

"Perhaps, my queen."

"Zoisite, I think you have a problem."

"Perhaps, my queen. So anyway, it appears Nephrite has fallen in love with a human girl! He told her he wants to betray us!"

"So what are you getting at…?" asked Beryl.

"Well, I think it's obvious what you should do."

"It's not obvious, Zoisite. Tell me exactly what you intend for me to do with this information."

"Well, my queen," Zoisite hesitated. "I think… you should punish him."

Queen Beryl was silent for a moment. "Maybe…" began Queen Beryl.

Zoisite's face lit up.

"Maybe, I should punish YOUUUUUU!" Beryl shouted.

"NOOO!" cried Zoisite. He fled quickly.

Beryl went back to sitting although she had never gotten up.


Nephrite snickered. For he had been watching the whole thing go down from a spot in the corner.

"Mwahahaha," laughed Nephrite. "I'm not the only one who can float in a corner and laugh at my enemies!"

"Neither am I!" exclaimed Grandpa.

"Grandpa!" cried Nephrite. "Scram!"

"Awww swizzle sticks," sighed Grandpa, floating to the ground and then leaving. "All I wanted was to have a good time."

Nephrite started scheming maniacally. "Now to bait Zoisite into getting Beryl to punish HIIIIIIMMMM!"


Nephrite appeared at Zoisite's castle.

"Hmm," he thought. He pulled out a bottle of spray paint.

He walked over to the huge 64" portrait Zoisite had of him and Kunzite on their wedding day. He spray painted a mustache on Zoisite and glasses on Kunzite. He then drew a speech bubble to Zoisite, saying "Nephrite is the coolest!" and one on Kunzite saying "Zoisite sux eggs!"

He then drew devil ears on Kunzite. "That's for eating my left over spaghetti!" he yelled, quickly warping away as Zoisite walked in.

"Time to stare at my big $5,000 dollar yet ultimately priceless custom portrait!"

He gasped and dropped his groceries. "UWAAAAAAAH!"


Zoisite came running into Beryl's throne room, flailing like a maniac.

"Listen Beryl! I know I've been trying to frame Nephrite, and going out of my way to get him in trouble, but this time he has crossed the line!"

"Go on…" said Beryl ominously.

"He spray-painted my portrait! It was $5,000! He drew a MUSTACHE on me! A MUSTACHE!" he cried.

"So, what's your point?" asked Beryl.

"Please, Queen. Just do what you must!"

"What do you recommend I do?" asked Beryl.

"The right thing!" pleaded Zoisite.

"And what might that be?"

"The correct thing to do in a situation like this!"

"And that'd be….?"

"To give him his just deserts, Queen Beryl!"

"And what are his just deserts?"

"Beryl!" cried Zoisite.

"Get to the point this instant, or I'll punish YOUUUUU!" Beryl shouted.

"Ok, Queen Beryl."

Zoisite couldn't meet her eyes. "I think you should punish Nephrite."

Beryl just stared at Zoisite. They had a long moment of silence. Zoisite looked up expectantly and Beryl started straight into his soul.

"Zoisite," she said slowly.

"Yes… my queen," he said in a shaky voice.

"I cannot BELIEVE you would vandalize your own portrait, just to get Nephrite in trouble!"

"But I didn't!" cried Zoisite.

"Zoisite, how do you think Kunzite would feel if he knew that's how little you cared about your wedding portrait?"

"But I didn't do it!"

"That's enough out of you!"

"What are you gonna do to me?!" Zoisite gasped.

"Maybe… I should… punish… YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUI!" Beryl shouted.

The whole room burst into flames. Beryl's head spun around, and her crystal ball lit up dramatically in all colors.

Zoisite had to cover his eyes as the ball grew in size and light intensity.

Then, the ball shot a huge energy blast, and Zoisite knew his story was over.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he cried as he was pulverized. Or at least he thought he was.

He looked up and he was in a cage, completely uninjured.

"Zoisite, your punishment for today will be a five minute time out."

"Shit, really? That's all?"

"Yep," said Beryl. "Now don't do it again!"

Nephrite appeared and started laughing. He laughed so hard that he had a heart attack and died.

"LOL!" laughed Zoisite.

"Zoisite now your punishment has been extended to ten minutes in time out!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Zoisite was furious. Nephrite had laughed at him and had not gotten punished at all. But he laughs back once and he gets five extra minutes of time out.

When he finally finished paying his debt to society, he marched right into Queen Metalia's room.

"Who are you and why are you in my room?!" screamed Metalia.

"You don't remember me?" Zoisite gasped. "I mean sure, we haven't talked in a while, but you used to love me!"

"I don't think so," said Metalia. "Just get on with it."

Zoisite took a deep breath. "Queen Metalia, it pains me to do this, but I must report Queen Beryl for abusing her power. She has treated me unfairly, even going so far as to giving me a ten minute time out, and also killing me."

"I see," said Metalia. "And what do you want me to do about it?"

"I think you should punish Queen Beryl," said Zoisite.

"Maybe," said Queen Metalia.

Zoisite's face lit up with hope. He was almost certain that Metalia would do the right thing.

"Maybe I should punish…

"YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Queen Metalia killed Zoisite.

"Snitches get stitches," said Metalia.


Kunzite came running into Beryl's throne room.

"Queen Beryl!" yelled Kunzite. "Mamoru has been sabotaging my life!"

"How so?" asked Queen Beryl, disinterested.

"Well first, he messed up my tax returns! Then he didn't invite me to his birthday party! And he threw his birthday party on the same day as mine, so that no one went to mine! Our birthdays are six months apart! To top it all off, he left the coffee machine on in the break room! The break room, Queen Beryl! The break room! AND, he taught Princess Serenity how to ice skate!"

"That's enough, Kunzite."

"But Beryl! I think you should punish him!"

Beryl blinked angrily.

"Maybe I should punish YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

"Oh well," figured Kunzite. "I'm sure she'll only give me a five minute time out, since I wasn't even given a warning."

But instead, she gave him a fifteen minute time out. He was infuriated.

He marched right down to Metalia.

He approached her cautiously. "Queen Met-"

"Maybe," said Queen Metalia. "I should punish YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

But Kunzite wouldn't stand for it. He charged Metalia with all he had, and he defeated her, since she was still in a weak state from getting rekt at the Moon Kingdom raid.

He revived Zoisite with Metalia's energy, and they lived happily ever after.

But unbeknownst to Kunzite, Endymion had sabotaged his tax returns yet again. He lost his house.

With nowhere left to turn, they moved into the dumpster next to Jadeite.

"OMG guys!" cried Jadeite exuberantly. "I haven't gotten to tell anyone my new source of energy this whole chapter! It's this thing the humans call

FIN