Finally I made it back. I am sorry it took me so long but I wasn't able to write anything, as much as I tried. I needed it so much and that made it just harder not being able to write.

A great thanks goes to my lovely Little Nothing1 and LostinSantaCarla for being there for me these last weeks. I love you guys.

So we are finally back with our boys and Amy. I hope you enjoy it, though this chapter is a shorter one. Promise the next will be longer again.


The first time waking as a full-fledged vampire felt strange. I could hear the ocean and the waves clashing against the shore, rainwater seeping into the ground and through its layers, insects moving through the dirt, Laddie's soft snoring as he slowly woke up… My mind seemed on overload with all the sensations rushing in.

"Stop thinking so loud, princess… It's too early for that…" My mind decided to finally settle on the gravelly voice in my ear and strong arms tightening around me. I opened my eyes and was amazed that I could see clearly in the dark room, as all the candles had died down.

That's just so weird… No more knocking things over in the dark I assume. I let out a small shriek as I found myself suddenly pinned to the bed.

"I said it is too early for you to be so loud…"Dwayne was hovering over me, securing my hands somewhere above my head. His face was something between anger and sleepy amusement.

"Unless you want me to bend you over my knee, I suggest you try tuning it down a little." Had I been able to, I would have flushed a deep crimson at his suggestion. Bevor I could answer him a small brown haired cannonball came running into the room.

"Dwayne!" The sudden smell of blood mixed with something else hit me and I couldn't keep myself from baring my fangs and letting out a hungry growl.

"No." Before I had the chance to make a move towards Laddie, Dwayne had grabbed me hard and my back crashed against the wall farthest from the bed on which the boy was sitting with wide eyes.

"Look at me Amy." I had to forcefully pry my eyes from the throbbing vein on Laddie's neck and willed myself to meet brown eyes.

"That's better now. Hey buddy, go and find Paul in the front. Amy and I need to talk a little before you can say hi." His eyes ever left mine as the boy left us with a small huff and stating his favourite vampire was no fun at all this evening or morning. I struggled a little in Dwayne's grasp. He wasn't hurting me but made it clear his strength easily outmatched mine. I let out a content purr when his lips softly brushed against mine before he sat down on the bed with me in his lap.

"You can't do that, princess. I know it is hard in the beginning and it will be hard for quite some time until you learn to control your new body and its reactions. But you need to try. Especially around Laddie. He can't understand that it is hard for you to control your hunger around him. He is a half and so your senses pick up on the blood still flowing through his body. He is only used to us and we learned to control those urges ages ago. Until you learn as well we cannot leave you alone with him or anyone else…" I listened to him while playing with some strands of his dark hair.

"I didn't mean to do it… He is such a sweet boy, I would never hurt him on purpose…" He tilted up my chin and kissed me again. 'I know that you would never do that to him. Your body doesn't though.'

"It still feels so strange having you in my head… Why is it that I don't feel different around you now?"

"Because we are dead. Technically speaking. The blood in us doesn't trigger your hunger because it isn't vital to your existence as human blood is. Our blood holds no life so it doesn't call to you. Taking blood from another vampire is something you do to bond or to strengthen a relationship, not to sate your hunger. At least not as lasting as human blood. It can keep the hunger at bay though, so in times of need we rely on each other. Also it helps the healing when we are injured, much more potent in that than living blood." He pushed some hair from my face and pulled me closer. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. He still smelled the same, though a little more intense than before, and I could also smell the others on him like some fading perfume.
He pulled my head back a little and looked at me with his dark eyes. 'You should drink just a little more to be sure there is enough blood in you, to make it easier on your first day.' I hadn't enough time to process what he said as he made a quick cut on his shoulder. As soon as the blood began seeping out I lost all control and latched onto his skin, moaning as the liquid went down my throat. I could feel the distant hung subsiding and Dwayne tightening his grip on me just a little more.

"I think you're good to go now." Dwayne got back up and slowly set me back to my feet. "But maybe you should get dressed before we head out…" Looking down I saw what he meant. My body was only covered by a black shirt, that reached down to my knees, so I assumed it was either one of Dwayne's or Paul's.

I made quick business of getting dressed and followed him back into the main cave. The others were all in their usual spots and Laddie was sitting on the floor next to Star and drawing something on the ground with chalk. I felt my heart ache at the sight of the boy and was ashamed that I tried to attack him earlier.

'Can we take him down to the boardwalk? I want to make it up to him… I feel bad about what I almost did to him…' I looked up at Dwayne who had stopped next to me with one hand casually on my hip, ready to hold me tight against him if needed.

"Come here for a second Amy." David was looking at me. Of course he knew what I had asked Dwayne, I couldn't control what I passed on over this mental bond and to whom. I slowly walked over, feeling a little insecure as all were watching my every step. I relaxed a little when I looked in his cold eyes and saw no anger in them. I sat down in David's lap facing sideways and looked up at him.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" I knew he meant not only how being a vampire felt.

"It is weird. Though concentrating on your voice helps a little to keep all those new sensations rushing in a little more controlled. It is just so much more now. I feel more, my senses seem to have multiplied and I don't really know yet how to tune it down. And I am afraid… I almost hurt Laddie earlier…" I was confused when the platinum blond chuckled a little.

"Don't worry. You will get the hang of that real quick. And yes, your senses are more strong right now. They need to be. You just evolved from prey to hunter." He looked me over with as much affection as he could give, which was a lot compared to the scowl or disinterest he gave most people.

"You need to meet someone tonight. You need to meet our sire." I looked at David in confusion.

"What is a sire?"

"He is something like a father. He made us what we are and we are bound to him by his blood." Paul had answered and now passed me the joint he had lit.

"Don't take too much cupcake, you might respond a little stronger to that shit than before…" Marko cut in before I could take a drag and I smiled at him for that. He was right. The rich aroma of the leaves hit me hard. It felt thick on my tongue and seemed to fog my mind instantly. I coughed and handed the joint back.

"I think that's enough for me… So, this sire… Why isn't he living with you when he is supposed to be your father? Who is he anyways?" There was a swift exchanging of glances and I felt them talking through the bond, but they shut me out from that conversation on purpose.

"We are not allowed to tell you who it is…"

"Meaning we can't…" Paul interrupted but was silenced with a sharp glare.

"As I said, we are not allowed to tell. The reason he doesn't live with us, is that for one he hates this place and second we don't get along that well these days. Still we have to answer to him…" David explained and I had trouble wrapping my head around the idea of David answering to anyone but himself.

"But we have still some time to kill. So you and I are going to take Laddie out for a while." I smiled at Dwayne who had been returning to his usual silent self for the last minutes. He held out his hand to me and with a chaste kiss I slipped away from David. Before I could reach out for the dark haired vampire's hand, I was pulled to the side by someone else.

"Hey now. You weren't going to leave without saying laters first, were you?" I rolled my eyes at Paul and leaned in to kiss him. The smug grin on his face faltered when I turned his face at the last second and kissed his cheek.

"Don't be so cocky, Mister." He growled and forced his lips onto mine.

"Animal!" I pushed him away while he was still cackling and completely proud of himself. I turned only to face Marko who was holding up my leather jacket for me.

"Thank you, good sir." I exaggerated and threw a mocking glance at Paul before kissing his brother goodbye.

"Hey buddy. How about Amy and I take you to eat something and catch some rides?" Laddie jumped up and down, excitedly clapping his hands together. He stopped when a thought seemed to pop into his head. He looked up at me with his big puppy dog eyes.

"Are you feeling better now? You looked like David when I wake him before sundown…" I felt my heart literally break at his words. I got down to my knees and found it a little easier to be in his presence now that I wasn't surprised by him.

"I am fine now. I just felt a little weird and you caught me a little off guard jumping at me, that is all. You still want to come with Dwayne and me?" I held out my hand and the boy happily took it while nodding.

'Well shit… You are a vampire for barely twenty-four hours and already have so much control over your instincts. You are so hot, I could just…'

"Will you please shut up, Paul?" David was getting annoyed with him again.

"Fine… But I am calling dibs on tomorrow! Then she is all mine for the night!" I looked at him in disbelief.

"You are doing what?" I looked at him, basically telling me with my eyes to dare make that statement again.

"You heard me. I said: I. Am. Calling. Dibs." He grinned from ear to ear and quickly jumped out of the way when I threw a rock at him that flew into the opposite wall with the strength I had now.

"Let's go before he tempts you into doing permanent damage to his face."

o-0-o

I watched Laddie squeal in delight as the rollercoaster took off with a smile. He was tugged in tight between Dwayne and me. Being around the boy got easier by the minute. Maybe it was because Dwayne had fed me his blood earlier or maybe it was because I knew the boy was family or he would be one day when he transitioned fully. There was a sudden stabbing in my heart as I looked at the boy beside me.

"What's wrong, princess?" I looked at the tall vampire with tears in my eyes that had nothing to do with the wind.

"I will never have kids…" My voice was a low whisper, almost carried away by the wind, still easy enough to be picked up by the heightened senses of a vampire. Dwayne gave me a pained look.

"I am afraid so, my love." As soon as the ride stopped I jumped out of the cart and ran off to the side as fast as I could without getting noticed to be too fast for a human.

"Amy?!" Laddie's high voice was loud in my ears but I chose to ignore him.

"Give her a few minutes, buddy. There is a lot she has to deal with now."

"But she will be fine, won't she? I like her. I don't want her to be sad… Did I make her sad?"

"No, you didn't. Becoming a vampire is difficult when you first realize what you can no longer have. But that is a conversation the two of us will have when you are a little older. Come on. Let's get some food and we will bring some along for Amy as well." I appreciated Dwayne saving Laddie from taking the blame for my second outburst that evening. I could still hear them for a little while longer as they walked away. I was surprised that Dwayne trusted me not to snap with so many people around.

I walked down to the beach and sat close by the water, staring off into the dark. There on the rollercoaster I had become aware what turning had really done in the long shot. Sure I still meant what I said about having nothing left to life for with Shelly being dead now. But David had been right, I hadn't thought this through all the way. Not that I would ever let him know he had been right. I hadn't thought about the possible wish to ever have children of my own until I had spent the evening with Dwayne and Laddie. He would have been a man I could have imagined having kids with. Not only him but all of my boys. My body would not change from now on. In fact my body was dead. And a dead body meant it was not supposed to give life when it had to take lifes to survive. Another wave of sadness hit me and the tears started falling.

I would never have children. I would never see Shelly again. I would never see another sunrise ever again… It hit me full force what I had left behind in that one moment where I thought I knew what I was doing. And I just realized I didn't know what I asked for when I wanted to become a vampire to begin with.