"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Jadeite, how dare you!" howled Queen Beryl.

"Huh?" asked Jadeite in shock.

"You murdered me last chapter! And now you prance in here like nothing happened! You have a lot of nerve, punk!"

Jadeite frowned and left the room.

He came back in 12 seconds later.

"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"What is, Jadeite?" asked Beryl.

"THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!"

Jadeite charged Beryl.

Queen Beryl knew she was stronger, so she swung at him. She gasped in shock when the only thing her first collided with was air.

Jadeite appeared behind her and got her in a choke hold.

But Queen Beryl was ready this time.

She sent an electric charge through her body, zapping him like a bug.

Jadeite crawled to his feet and surrendered.

"Now that you've got that out of your system, I have an important errand for you to run."

"Yes, my Queen," said Jadeite obediently.

"I want you to pick up my dry-cleaning."

"Yes, my Queen! I won't let you down!"


Jadeite sped his Go Kart down the speedway.

"Eat my dust Nephrite!" he yelled.

"Eww no way!" said Nephrite.

Zoisite pulled up next to Jadeite and started bumping his car.

"Hey there!" said Jadeite angrily. "Are you tryna run me off the road?"

"Okay, you caught me," said Zoisite. "Hey, weren't you supposed to pick up Queen Beryl's dry-cleaning?"

"Oh yeah!" laughed Jadeite. "D'ah, I'll just get that later!"

He made a swift turn into Zoisite, sending him flying out of the kart and into a pile of tires.

Jadeite turned the corner victoriously, but coming right at him with full speed was Nephrite.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" cried Jadeite. "YOU'RE GOING BACKWARDS!"

Nephrite just smirked.

As the cars collided, Nephrite teleported away, sending Jadeite face first into an airbag.

"D'oh!" said Jadeite, breaking his nose.

They all stumbled their way out of the Go Kart place with their heads spinning.

"Man I wish there had been more crutches," said Zoisite sadly as he and Nephrite shared a single crutch.

Jadeite wheeled himself out with his head down.

"Did you guys behave?" asked Kunzite, sitting on a bench outside and reading a newspaper.

"Maybe," giggled Jadeite.

"So," said Kunzite. "Maybe we should all go to get Beryl's dry-cleaning, since Jadeite is incompetent."

"Why are you always talking about other girls?!" cried Zoisite. "I should be the only girl on your mind!"

"But you're a guy," said Kunzite.

"Not in the dub," said Zoisite.

"Very well then," said Kunzite. "So about that dry-cleaning…"

"Look!" cried Jadeite. "Indoor sky-diving!"

All three Shitennou skittered off, leaving Kunzite in the dust.

"Looks like I have to go get Beryl's dry-cleaning," he sighed.

The others got in line for indoor sky-diving.

"How much money do we have left?" asked Zoisite.

Nephrite pulled out his money clip. "One dollar."

"And how much do we need to go sky-diving?"

"One hundred dollars. A person."

"Dammit!" said Jadeite. "Oh well, I guess we should go help Kunzite do my job."

"No, let's go… um…. Um…. Um… Watch that motorcycle show!" Zoisite said spotting a nearby sign. "I don't want to do work today, let alone someone else's work!"

"Okey dokey!" said Jeddy.

They sat down to watch the show.

Nephrite soon came over with a bunch of soda and popcorn.

"Hey," said Jadeite accusingly. "I thought you were out of money!"

"So?" asked Nephrite confused. "Who said I had to pay money?"

"Stealing is wrong!" exclaimed Zoisite.

Jadeite and Nephrite both turned to Zoisite and gave him a goofy look.

"Well for your information," said Nephrite. "I didn't steal it. They gave it me. All the girls love Maxfield!"

"I don't!" said a random motorcyclist.

"Oh yeah?" scoffed Nephrite. "Well you must be some kind of lesbian to not want some of this~!"

"Hmph," said motorcyclist. "Well you must be some kind of jackass!"

"Alright, you wanna go?" challenged Nephrite, standing up and looking around for the owner of the voice. "Hey, where are you?" asked Nephrite.

"Right here," said Haruka.

"That can't be right," said Nephrite. "I know I was just arguing with a girl, and you're most clearly a man!"

Haruka took off her helmet and threw a wild punch at Nephrite.

"I am a girl!" she scolded.

"Yeah, and you hit like one!" taunted Nephrite.

She gave him another slug, knocking him out.

"Sorry about my friend," said Jadeite. "Wait a second, you're that lesbian that kidnapped me! I still haven't forgiven you for that!"

"Cool," said Haruka.

"Where's the other one?" asked Zoisite.

"Right over here!" said Michiru approaching.

Jadeite put his guard up.

"Hey!" said Haruka. "I didn't see you all race! Where were you?"

"Oh… I was just on the phone with my parents…" Michiru admitted sadly.

"Aww, yuck!" said Haruka. "They don't like me very much."

"Yeah…" said Michiru. "I'm in a bit of a dilemma, too."

"Uh oh," said Jadeite, who wasn't part of the conversation.

"Wait a minute," said Michiru. "That hair… that face… you'd be perfect!"

Jadeite put his hands in front of his face, preparing himself for an attack.

"Could you pretend to be my boyfriend for the weekend?"

"HUUUWUUUUUT?!" gasped Jadeite.

"HUUUWUUUUUT?!" gasped Haruka.

"I… I haven't told my parents I'm with a girl yet," said Michiru sadly. "I panicked when they were pressing me on the matter, and told them I had a boyfriend!"

"Michiru, how could you!?" cried Haruka.

"I know it was wrong but I don't want them to stop buying me food," confessed Michiru.

"But I would buy you food!"

"Not fast food!" Michiru started to sob.

"Wait," said Zoisite. "Why didn't you ask me to pretend to be your boyfriend?"

"Because I want them to think I'm dating a guy," said Michiru.

"You didn't have to be hurtful," said Zoisite sadly.

Nephrite finally woke back up from his unconscious state. "Hey, what about me?" he asked.

"There's no way my parents would believe that I'd be dating a man with that ridiculous haircut," said Michiru.

"Oh tartar sauce," said Nephrite.

"So canya do it?" asked Michiru to Jadeite.

"I don't know…" pondered Jadeite. "What's in it for me?"

"10 dollars."

"Wowie! We got ourselves a deal!" he said giddily.

"I don't like this," said Haruka.


Meanwhile

"Alright guys I got the dry cleaning!" called Kunzite going back to the indoor sky-diving dome.

"Where'd those biscuit boys go?!"


"Hello mother, hello father!" said Michiru, walking into the restaurant to meet her parents.

"Michiru!" they cried happily. "We haven't seen you since you flew away to live in the outer solar system!"

"Nah, that's just bad dubbing," laughed Michiru.

"So, can we meet that handsome, charming boyfriend of yours?" Michiru's mom asked.

"Heh heh… here he is!" said Michiru nervously.

Jadeite strutted into the room.

"Behold!" howled Jadeite in an outdoor voice. "I would be riding my white steed but I donated it to charity!"

Michiru face-palmed. "It's game-over."

"So what's this lucky young man's name?" asked Michiru's dad.

"My name is Sir Jed D. Dite the third," replied Jadeite regally.

"Hmph," said Michiru's father.

"You've scored yourself a real winner," whispered Michiru's mom to Michiru.

Michiru blushed and looked away nervously.

"Yea so me and Michiru go waaaay back!" Jadeite explained.

"So how long have you known our daughter?" asked Michiru's mom.

"I met her yesterday," said Jadeite.

Michiru's mother got a disturbed expression.

"What he means is, yesterday two years ago! It was our anniversary!" exclaimed Michiru, quickly covering up Jed's blunder.

"Oh, congrats!" said Michiru's dad. He nudged Jadeite. "When are you gonna pop the question?"

"Right now!" said Jadeite.

"Jadeite no!" cried Michiru.

"Muchacha, I haven't know you very long, but you hold a very special place in my heart," began Jadeite.

"Oh no," said Michiru.

"Micharizard, will you be my Valentine?"

"Oh," said Michiru, surprised. "Why yes, of course!"

"Awwww sweet!" said Jed. He pulled out his planner and flipped to February 14th. He wrote down, "Date w/ Machocho, bring chocolates."

"Hello," said the waiter. "I have a bottle of wine for you, courtesy of the other table."

"Huh?" asked Michiru's mom.

They all turned and looked at the other table.

Haruka sat with Zoisite, Nephrite, and Kunzite. She glared at Michiru. Nephrite waved.

"Do you know those people?" asked Michiru's dad.

"Never seen them before in my life," lied Michiru.

Haruka gritted her teeth.

Michiru excused herself politely and walked over to the table.

"What are you guys doing here?!" she barked.

"We just came to support ol' Jeddy on his first date," said Zoisite.

"Not you, you!"

"Me?" asked Kunzite.

"No, you!"

"You mean Maxfield?" asked Nephrite.

"I think she means me, idiot," said Haruka.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourself?" demanded Michiru.

"I don't like my girl being on a date! Let alone with a guy! I gotta make sure you two don't get too carried away!" exclaimed Haruka.

"Wow," said Michiru. "I thought you trusted me!"

"I thought you told your parents about me!" retorted Haruka.

The waiter came over and interrupted their discussion. "What will you all be having for dinner?"

"Well," said Nephrite. "What kind of salads do you have?"

"I'm glad you asked that," said Zoisite.

"Why, do you want one too?" asked Nephrite.

"No, it's just that you've been getting a little chunky. I'm glad you're changing your eating habits."

"Do you want to go?" asked Nephrite.

"Nah, I'm fine here," said Zoisite.

"I'll have a 16 ounce steak, rare please," said Kunzite.

"We only serve medium rare," said the waiter.

"Nevermind then," said Kunzite. "Do you serve lobster?"

"Can you shut up for a moment?!" barked Haruka. "We were talking!"

"You didn't have to sit with us," said Nephrite.

"You sat next to me!" Haruka yelled.

"You could have moved," said Nephrite.

"Anyway," continued Haruka to Michiru.

"Michiru!" called Michiru's parents. "Why are you talking to those strangers?"

"I was just thanking them for the bottle of wine!" she called, dashing back to her table.

"So anyway," said Kunzite. "Do you serve caviar?"


Over at Michiru's table, Jadeite was demonstrating his good manners.

"Look guys, I can make a swan out of a napkin! Someone toss me one!"

Michiru's dad glared at him. Jadeite took his napkin.

"Hmm… this isn't working," he said in frustration. He threw the napkin on the floor. "It's just because that was a shit napkin. I can do it with good napkins."

"HAHAHAHAAHAH!" fake-laughed Michiru, loudly. "Oh Jed, you're such a jokester!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!" cried Jadeite. "Are you breaking up with me!?"

"What? No!"

"Gooooooood," said Jadeite. "So," he said, turning to the parents. "When I was a teenager and in a travelling circus, I used to be a magician!"

"Hmph," said Michiru's dad.

"Wanna see a cool magic trick?"

Michiru leaned over and whispered loudly to him, "Just eat your food!"

"It's not here yet!" Jadeite cried.

"What's not here?" asked Michiru's mom.

"So anyway, on with the magic trick! I'll need a volunteer from the audience!"

Michiru's dad glared at him with utter disdain.

"Mr. Michurro, how about you?" asked Jadeite.

"No thank you," said Michiru's dad coldly.

"Don't be nervous! I'm a professional!" Jadeite insisted.

He pushed Michiru's dad down on the table.

"Hey! Stop that!" he cried.

"For this trick, I will saw a human in half!"

"We're in a restaurant!" cried Michiru's mom.

"This is humiliating!" cried Michiru's dad. "Everyone's looking at us!"

Jadeite turned to see his fellow Shitennou giving him a thumb's up.

"Go get em' tiger!" called Nephrite.

Haruka gave a thumb's up as well, but quickly flipped her thumb down when Michiru spotted her.

Jadeite used his magic to spawn a giant saw.

He swung it towards Michiru's dad.

Michiru punched Jadeite across the face.

"WHY?!" cried Jadeite. "DOMESTIC ABUSE! SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!"

"YOU WERE ABOUT TO KILL MY FATHER!" cried Michiru.

"No," said Jadeite. He leaned close to her and started whispering. "Magicians don't usually share their secrets, but that saw was only an illusion! You see, using my evil Nega-energy-"

"I don't care!" shouted Michiru. "Just sit down and behave yourself! You've caused enough trouble."

"Yes, girlfriend," said Jadeite, sadly sitting down.

"Sorry about that," said Michiru to her parents. "He was raised in the jungle."

"Awww, that's so sad," said Michiru's mom sympathetically. "I'll try to be more considerate."

"Hmph," said Michiru's dad.

"So what do you do for a living?" asked Michiru's mom, trying to change the subject.

"I collect energy for Queen-"

Michiru elbowed him.

"I MEAN…. I collect garbage!" he said, thinking fast.

Michiru elbowed him again.

"I mean I collect garbage by the freeway in an effort to clean up litter for charity! But my real job is an astronaut!"

"No way!" said Michiru's dad, perking up. "So am I!"

"Uh oh," said Jadeite.

"Say, what missions have you flown?"

"I'll have you know that I was on the original Apollo!" lied Jadeite.

"Say what?" asked Michiru's dad accusingly. "You mean the one that burnt down and killed multiple astronauts before it even went into orbit, over 50 years ago?"

"Did I say the original Apollo? I meant the most recent Apollo!"

"Which one was that?" asked Michiru's dad.

"The… the… 42nd?"

"Hmph," said Michiru's dad.

Jadeite turned to Michiru. "I'm killing it, right?"

Michiru smashed her head on the table.

The waiter finally came with the food after 20 painstaking minutes.

"Here baby, I'll help you eat that," offered Jadeite.

"No, I'm fine," said Michiru.

"Nah, I'm a gentlemen!"

He cut a bite of her steak and shoved it towards her. "Open up, here comes the plane!"

Michiru tried to dodge.

"It's no use, I'm an expert on planes!" said Jed.

"I thought you were an astronaut!" reminded Michiru's dad.

"Isn't that the one where they fly planes?"

"No. That's a pilot."

"Oh. Then that's what I am."

"Really?" asked Michiru's mom. "My sister flies planes in the Airforce!"

"Cool!" said Jadeite.

"I had my doubts about you, but you must be pretty smart to be able to know all those flight controls," said Michiru's mom.

"Oh, no," said Jadeite. "I just control them with my mind."

"So…. You're some kind of freak?" asked Michiru's dad.

"What he meant to say," Michiru interrupted.

Jadeite shoved the steak in her mouth while she talking. She started to choke, but drank some water and calmed down.

"See, isn't that better?" asked Jadeite.

"Sir Jed," said Michiru, barely concealing her rage. "Can we talk outside for a moment?"

"Oh boy," said Jadeite. He turned to Michiru's dad and winked, and then took out some mouth spray. "We'll be back in a couple hours," Jadeite said, and pranced outside of the restaurant.

Michiru stormed after him.

"Listen Jadeite," she said outside. "How about for the rest of the meal, you don't say or do anything."

"If that's what will please you, my love," said Jadeite.

"And don't talk like that!" screamed Michiru.

"Yes my love."

Michiru face-palmed.

They walked back over to their table.

"Hahahahaahha," laughed Michiru's parents.

"I know, isn't that goofy?" laughed Zoisite. "So then we dared Jadeite to jump in the lion's cage, and you'll never believe what happened next!"

"What's going on here?!" howled Michiru.

"Oh, I'm your boyfriend's friend," said Zoisite. "I just wanted to meet my future in-laws!"

"Zoisite!" grumbled Michiru.

"Wait, I thought you said you didn't know these people?" asked Michiru's parents.

"I don't! But I've heard about them!"

"Oh boy, what'd you hear?" asked Zoisite.

"Nothing good…"

"Jadeite, how could you!"

"It's not true!" cried Jadeite. "I've only ever said good things about you!"

"Wow, then I wish I could say the same for you," said Zoisite regretfully.

"Anyway," said Michiru. "I think Zoisite here should go back to his table."

She picked up the chair with Zoisite in it and threw it back to the other table.

"Now that was rude," said Michiru's dad. "If only you had dated someone like him, and not this loser!"

"Hey!" cried Jadeite. "I'm a veteran, how dare you!"

"Which war?"

"The Moon Kingdom raid of 1262!"

"Oh, so you're wise guy?" asked Michiru's dad, putting them up.

"Wanna go?" asked Jadeite.

"Guys, stop!" said Michiru's mom.

"Margarete, stay of this!" howled Michiru's dad.

He took his shirt off.

Jadeite took his gloves off and slapped Michiru's dad with them.

Michiru's dad delivered a hard slug to Jadeite's face.

"Stop!" cried Michiru. "We don't want our food to get cold!"

Michiru's dad put his shirt back on.

They all ate in an awkward silence. Well, except for Jadeite.

"Why aren't you eating, honey?" asked Michiru's mom.

"Michiru told me not to do anything."

"Well it's too late for that!" howled Michiru. "Just eat your damn food!"

"Maybe I don't wanna," said Jadeite, crossing his arms.

"Jadeite," warned Michiru. "You're about to not get 10 dollars."

"Wait what?" asked Michiru's mom.

"No," said Jadeite. "You're just a big bully!"

"I'm sorry baby," Michiru forced herself to say.

"D'aww, that's all I wanted to hear," said Jadeite. "Now how 'bout a kiss?"

"Don't push your luck."

"Nahhhh come onnnnn," Jadeite insisted, leaning in.

Michiru back-handed him.

"Not in front of my parents!" she said, thinking quickly.

"Awww I getcha," winked Jadeite. "We'll wait until tonight in the room!"

"Hmph," said Michiru's dad.

Michiru started to sweat.

"This is really bad," said Haruka to the Shitennou minus Jadeite. "I think Jadeite's gonna try to pull a move on my Michiru!"

"Nahhh," said Kunzite. "Jadeite's a good boy."

"I don't know…" she said. "Don't you think it's wrong for Michiru to not tell her parents about me?"

"Nah," said Kunzite. "I wouldn't want to tell my parents about Zoisite, if they were alive."

"Hey!" yelled Zoisite. "Now I don't feel bad about killing them!"

"Wait what?" said Kunzite.

"This is good lobster," said Zoisite.

"Indeed," said Kunzite. "It's very fresh."

Nephrite stared at his salad and groaned. "Hey, mind slipping me a bite of lobster?" he asked Zoisite.

"If you wanted lobster you should have ordered it," said Zoisite. He started smacking his chops loudly.

Nephrite turned to Haruka to ask her for food, but she was gone.

"I guess that means I can eat it," he deduced.

He quickly swapped his plate with Haruka's and began chowing down.


"Hi, I'm your new waiter!" said Haruka to Michiru's table.

Meanwhile, Mamoru, the previous waiter, was tied up in the closet.

"What happened to the old waiter?" Michiru's mom asked.

"Yeah!" said Michiru. "What. Happened. To him."

"He had to take a short break, so here I am! Say, do you think I'm handsome?" she asked Michiru's parents.

"You are indeed a handsome young man," they said.

"Dammit," said Haruka. "Now I if I were to tell you I was a woman, would you let me date your daughter?"

"Look over there!" cried Michiru. Her parents turned away. She shot a quick Uranus Deep Submerge, knocking Haruka away.

"Where'd the waiter go?" asked Michiru's dad.

"He went to clean the bathrooms," said Michiru.

Haruka smashed back into the table where the Shitennou were sitting and stood up angrily. "That pesky Michiru!" she yelled.

"Hey," said Nephrite. "I hope you don't mind, but I ate some of your food."

"You ate some of my food?" asked Haruka.

"Alright, I ate all of it," admitted Nephrite. "But you can have my salad."

"GOODY!" barked Haruka.

"Uwaaa!" yelled Nephrite. "What's your beef?"

"Michiru!" she cried. "Is she embarrassed to be with me or something?!"

"I'm sure her parents are just old-fashioned," said Zoisite.

"So what do you think I should do?"

"I don't know, kill them?"

"That's terrible!" cried Haruka.

"Yeah, I guess it was," said Zoisite. "But there's no undoing the past. Plus, if they never find out, it's like their parents just died of natural causes!"

"Wait what?" asked Kunzite.

"Can you pass the butter?" asked Zoisite.

"I think I should just go over there and tell them who I am!" exclaimed Haruka.

"Alright have fun with that," said Nephrite.

Haruka headed over there, but on the way lost her courage and walked back to the table in defeat.

"Did you have fun?" asked Nephrite.

Haruka socked Nephrite.

"Was that for the food?" he asked.

Michiru's family and Jadeite had finally finished their meals.

"Welp, since I'm the King of England, I'll pick up the tab," offered Jadeite.

"No, no," said Michiru's dad. "3 out of four people were my family members. I'll pay."

"No!" yelled Jadeite. "I will pay!"

"Shut your mouth," said Michiru's dad. "I already pulled out my money!"

Jadeite grabbed Michiru's dad's money and burnt it.

"I have a lady to impress! I will pay!" Jadeite repeated.

"My money!" cried Michiru's dad. He pulled out his credit card. "You can't stop me from paying, you punk!"

"EAT MY SHIT!" yelled Jadeite.

Michiru's dad took his shirt off.

Jadeite layed his money on the table with a 20% tip.

Michiru's dad socked Jadeite in the face.

Jadeite went flying back. He picked up a chair and hit Michiru's mom.

"MARGARETE!" cried Michiru's dad.

"WHY?!" cried Michiru.

"WHHHHYYY?!" cried Michiru's mom. She passed out.

Michiru's dad was steamed. He was livid. "It's one thing fighting me, but you go after my wife!?"

"Ye she was a scrub," said Jadeite. "Now you still dare to try and pay the bill?! Put em' up, homeboy!"

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" yelled Zoisite.

"Maybe I will!" said Jadeite. He kicked Michiru's dad in the shin.

Michiru's dad swung his fists of fury, devastating Jadeite. Jadeite had to take a step back to recover, but Michiru's dad didn't give him any time. He came swinging with another fist. Jadeite caught it and snapped his wrist.

"UWAAAA!" cried Michiru's dad.

Michiru flew up in the air and landed a kick on Jadeite. "Stop it!" she yelled.

"Then give me kiss!" demanded Jadeite.

"Ok!" cried Michiru. "If it will get you to stop beating up my father!" She was completely out of options, as she couldn't transform in front of her parents.

Jadeite put down his steak knife.

He leaned in to kiss Michiru.

"URANUS WORLD SHAKING!" cried Haruka.

"UAJAWHEGAERAEG!" cried Jadeite. He fell to the floor. Haruka was spinning her fists rapidly, even faster than Michiru's dad. Jadeite didn't stand a chance.

Right before Jadeite was pulverized, Nephrite pulled Haruka back.

"Stop!" he yelled. "This was fair 1v1!"

Haruka turned around and socked Nephrite so hard that he forgot who he was.

"Where am I?" he called. He turned to Zoisite. "Will you be my friend?"

"Back off!" yelled Zoisite.

"Hmm, I like that," said Nephrite. "RRRR BACK OFF!" he yelled.

Haruka went in for the kill on Jadeite.

"Pls no!" cried Jadeite. "I never liked her anyway! I was just trying to look cool in front of Michiru's dad!"

"Look cool by hitting his wife with a chair?!" howled Michiru.

"Come on baby," said Jadeite. "Gimme another chance!"

"No!" yelled Michiru. "Because we were never in a relationship!"

"Wuuuuuut?" gasped Michiru's dad.

"That's right!" yelled Michiru. "I'm a lesbian! This fake waiter has been my girlfriend all along! And I wouldn't want it any other way!"

"D'awww," gushed Haruka.

"The waiter's a girl?!" cried Michiru's dad.

"Haruka's the waiter?!" cried Kunzite.

"Michiru is gay?!" cried Jadeite.

"YES!" screamed Michiru. "YES TO ALL THE ABOVE!"

At this point, all the other customers had left the restaurant, and the police were standing by outside.

"So yeah," said Michiru, stepping down from on top of a table. "And I don't care of you accept it or not! Me and Haruka will be together forever!"

"Oh honey, I'm so happy!" said Michiru's mom, waking up.

"Really?" asked Michiru in shock.

"Well, yes! Before this, I might have hesitated over you being with a girl. But after thinking you were with this low-life scumbag, I couldn't be happier!"

"WHAAAAAAT?!" cried Jadeite. He picked up a chair and charged Michiru's mom.

Michiru cut him off with a fatal kick in the gut.

"I agree," said Michiru's dad. "I don't know anything about this girl but I know she is better than this pathetic, miserable, scrubby excuse for a human being!"

Jadeite whimpered, and then he started to cry.

"Awww, I just… I just wanted you all to like me. You're right, I am a loser," he began to sob.

"That is it!" yelled Kunzite, slamming his fist on the table. "Maybe Jadeite made some mistakes, but I'm not gonna sit here and listen to my good pal get insulted!"

"Yeah, yeah!" added Zoisite.

"Furthermore," said Nephrite. "I don't know who I am, but I know that I don't like your face!"

The Shitennou charged.

Michiru's dad stood up and put his shirt back on. Then he took it off.

"Let's GOOOOOOOOO!" he howled.


One brutal slugfest later, the Shitennou limped out of the restaurant.

"Welp, I think we can call that one a tie," decided Nephrite.

"No way!" objected Zoisite. "We totally won! We didn't get taken to prison like Michiru's dad did, so the other side had more casualties!"

Jadeite was still whimpering. "You guys might have won… but I lost," he said sadly.

"D'aww, don't be like that!" said Kunzite, ruffling his hair. "You'll get em' next time, slugger!"

"Yeah, the only reason she didn't like you was because she was a lesbian!" added Zoisite.

"You think?" asked Jadeite hopefully.

"Yeah!" promised Zoisite.

"Alrighty then!" said Jadeite, returning to his usual happy-go-lucky self. "I guess I'm back in the dating field!"

"Now that that's settled, let's work on getting my memory back!" suggested Nephrite.

"Bye Nephrite," said the Shitennou.

Nephrite stood there alone, baffled.

"Who… who am I?" he thought desperately.

That was the day he became Tuxedo Mask.

FIN