"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"
"How does that make you feel, Jadeite?" asked Beryl.
"Umm… What? You've never cared about my feelings before, what's going on?!"
"I'm taking these new painkillers," explained Beryl.
"Why?" asked Jadeite.
"Because you make me SO MAD!" She started raging but then took deep breaths. She popped a few pills and calmed down.
"Are you okay, my Queen?" asked Jadeite.
"Ye."
The other Shitennou marched in.
"What's all the hub-bub, Beryl?" hollered Nephrite.
"Queen Beryl, your doctor keeps calling," said Kunzite. "He said he gave you the wrong prescription, and that you are actually taking serious illegal drugs!"
"That can't be right," said Beryl. Then she spotted the purple dragon.
"WOAH!" she cried. She leapt off her throne and started rolling on the ground. "I just found the meaning of life!" she howled.
"Oh no! Beryl!" cried Jadeite. "Guys, we have to help her! She's not thinking straight!"
"Jadeite I love you," said Beryl. "I only treat you mean because I want you to get better. But you are already perfect!"
Jadeite gushed. "D'aww, I think we should let her go for a little while longer!"
"Kunzite, get your greasy mitts off my crystal ball!" Beryl howled.
Kunzite quickly removed his hands. "Dammit, I thought she was out of it."
"Kunzite put down that sandwich or I keeeeel you!"
"I'm not holding a sandwich…"
Queen Beryl charged Kunzite. He knocked her over the head, snapping her back into reality.
She sat down on her throne.
"So guys, anyone found the Silver Crystal yet?"
All the Shitennou took a step back in fear.
"I know, right!" exclaimed Motoki. "It just appeared out of nowhere! I don't know where it goes!"
"And what is it, exactly?" asked Usagi.
"There's a sign that says 'Portal to the Negaverse,' and it's in the middle of my arcade," explained Motoki.
"Peculiar," said Ami, checking her computer.
"But why would they need a portal?" asked Usagi. "When they can all teleport?"
"According to my calculations," began Ami.
"I Don'T CAAAAAAAAAARE!" howled Usagi, punching Ami in the throat. She left to go home.
"How rude," said Ami. "Anyway, tell me more, Motoki!"
"Well, I'm no Rei, but I feel a negative energy coming out of it!"
"I see," said Ami. "I'll take it upon myself to get to the bottom of this. If I don't return in 2 hours, tell Usagi, Makoto, Minako, or Rei to come looking for me."
"Got it!" said Motoki, jotting down the list. "Good luck, have fun!"
Ami hopped inside the portal.
"It's dark in here…" was the last thing Motoki heard her say. Ami was never seen again.
"Uh oh," said Motoki after 2 hours. "I better put some fences around this… Nah, but first I have to tell Ami's friends to go looking for her!"
Motoki went to the temple, and after getting violated by Grandpa, he was allowed to enter Rei's room.
"Oh goody!" said Motoki. "All four of you are together! That saves me a wholesome amount of time!"
"What are you doing here?" asked Rei. "And did Grandpa violate you?"
"Yes," said Motoki.
"I'm sorry for that."
"Nah, he's a goober," chuckled Motoki. "Anyway, your friend Ami wandered blindly into some place called the Negaverse. She told me tell you to go looking for her if she did not return."
"And did she return?" asked Usagi.
"No," said Motoki sadly.
"Darn shame," said Usagi.
"Yep. She'll be missed," said Rei.
"R.I.P," said Makoto.
"Honestly I never even talked to her personally," admitted Minako. "So I'm not going to lie and pretend to be sad."
"You guys aren't going in there to look for her?" asked Motoki in shock.
"HECK NO!" howled Rei. "Now if it was someone important in there like Makoto…"
"I see," said Motoki judgmentally. He left.
Back at the arcade, he gave a moment of silence for Ami.
"No!" he decided. "I have to look for her! She's just a young girl!"
He took out his cellphone.
"I know I can't go in there alone, but with the power of friendship, anything is possible!"
He called his two best friends in the world, Mamoru and Rei's grandpa.
"Hello," said Mamoru. "Mind if I change into this Tuxedo real quick? It will help us out in there, I promise."
"Sorry," said Motoki. "But if you dress formally, then I'll have to dress formally or else risk looking underdressed in an unknown area. And I just rented my tux out yesterday for some young lad to go to prom!"
"Alright," sighed Mamoru. "I guess there's nothing I can do."
"Let'S GUUUUUU!" yelled Grandpa, leaping into the portal on all fours.
"Welp, here goes nothing!" said Motoki, taking Mamoru's hand and walking in.
"Woah woah woah," objected Mamoru. "I didn't know you saw me as that kind of friend."
They entered the Negaverse.
"Hmm," said Motoki. "The portal is still right behind us. How did Ami get lost?"
"Who cares," said Grandpa. "Let's get to the bottom of what exactly this 'Negaverse' is."
They spotted a palace far into the distance.
"That's Queen Beryl's palace," Grandpa told them.
"How do you know?" asked Chiba. "You just said you didn't know what the Negaverse even was!"
"Beryl was an old friend of mine," said Grandpa sadly. "Back in the Silver Millennium. When I was just a lobster."
"What are you talking about?" asked Motoki, completely confused.
"I think Grandpa is starting to go senile," said Mamoru.
"You take that back!" howled Grandpa, throwing punches.
Mamoru caught them and put them in his pocket for later.
They headed up the long winding path to the castle.
Suddenly, Motoki was picked up and thrown into the sky. He landed with a thud.
"Ouch!" he laughed. "That's going to leave a few marks!"
Everyone turned to see a wild cross-eyed blue lobster.
"Steven!?" gasped Grandpa. "How you been, man? I haven't seen you since I was in my lobster form raiding the Moon Kingdom!"
"Good," replied Steven. "I got a new job as Beryl's palace guard! And speaking of which, YOU MUST DIE!"
Grandpa turned into his lobster form, and they started wrestling.
"Quick!" said Mamoru. "Let's keep going!"
"No!" cried Motoki. "We can't leave Grandpa behind!"
"He's not Grandpa anymore," said Mamoru solemnly. "He has reverted back into his primal monster form!"
Motoki fled with Mamoru as tears fell from his eyes.
"We're almost at the castle!" called Mamoru.
Meanwhile, the wrestling match was neck and neck.
Grandpa decided to finish the blue lobster, and threw a wild punch. But it missed, and the blue lobster chopped off one of Granpda's pincers.
"Grandpa," he said slowly. "Come to the Nega-side!"
"NEVER!" howled Grandpa. "There's not enough little boys there!"
"We have the Shitennou," offered the blue lobster.
"They're too old for me," said Grandpa. "And too gay."
"Very well then," said Steven. "But before I kill you, know this. I AM YOUR FATHER!"
Grandpa gasped, and in his moment of shock, was thrown off the ledge into the abyss.
"Goodbye son," said Steven sadly. Then he leapt in front of Mamoru and Motoki.
"Uh oh!" said Mamoru. "I'm gonna have to transform! But… but Motoki said he didn't want to be underdressed!"
Mamoru was conflicted.
Motoki charged the cross-eyed lobster, yelling, "DIEEEEEEEEE!"
It was super ineffective, and he was tossed to the floor like a ragdoll.
"What do I do?!" cried Mamoru internally.
Motoki stood up. "Is that all you got?!"
The he coughed out some blood and fell over.
"Good," said Mamoru. "He's unconscious. Now…"
"Is that all you got?!" howled Motoki again. He threw another wild punch, before getting hit over the head and falling back down.
"Now he's gotta be out," decided Mamoru. "Here goes nothing!"
He pulled out his rose, about to transform.
"IS THAT…. ALLL…. YOU GOT!" Motoki screamed.
"Oh come on!" howled Mamoru. He threw a quick karate chop, knocking out Motoki.
Then he transformed into Tuxedo Mask in a single frame of animation.
"HUUUUWUUUUUUT?!" cried the lobster. He shot lightning at Mamoru and they both leapt up into the air. They spun around in a circle, and then both tackled each other into the abyss.
Three days later, Motoki awoke, not remembering where he was.
"Reika? Reika?" he called.
"Oh wait, lol she's in Africa. Then where am I?!"
"Are you alright now, Beryl?" asked Kunzite with minimal concern.
"I think so," said Beryl. "Man, that's the last time I do a full bottle of drugs."
"Good idea," said Zoisite.
"Zoisite did you find that Crystal?" asked Beryl.
"Uh… I found A crystal!"
Zoisite spawned an ice crystal and gave it to Beryl.
"I will cherish this forever," said Beryl.
"Now who wants to hear my new source of energy?" asked Jadeite.
"Hello?" called a voice from outside.
Everyone turned around to face the strange intruder.
Motoki barged in, opening the doors loudly.
"Has anyone seen my car? I think it ran out of gas and I left it somewhere on this freeway…"
All the Shitennou looked at each other and then to Beryl.
"Can I help you?" asked Beryl.
"Uh, yes. My name's Motoki and I seem to be lost. But I don't remember why or where I am. Do you guys know where the nearest rest stop is?"
All the Shitennou looked at each other and then to Beryl.
Motoki stared down all of them. "Something is strange here…"
"Should we get rid of him?" asked Kunzite.
"Not yet," said Beryl. "This could be interesting."
Suddenly, Motoki's gaze landed on Zoisite, and memories came flashing back to him.
"YOU!" he cried. "You attacked my Reika!"
"I did?" asked Zoisite.
"You attacked her and you don't even remember mentally scarring her for life?!"
"I attack a lot of people. Was she the one with the paintings?"
"No!" cried Motoki.
"Oh, I know! It was the one with the cat!"
"NO!" cried Motoki.
"Then I don't remember."
Motoki was furious. He ran across the whole throne room and charged Zoisite.
Zoisite teleported away swiftly, and Motoki threw a punch with no success. He toppled over onto the ground.
He charged again, and Zoisite had to teleport again to avoid the punch.
"Hahahha," laughed Zoisite. "This is hilarious."
Motoki skittered across the ground and made a sharp U-turn, charging Zoisite again.
Zoisite floated up above Motoki, still laughing.
"Alright, this is getting boring," said Zoisite.
But Motoki got a wild burst of strength and leapt into the air, swing-kicking Zoisite.
Zoisite fell to the floor in a peril state. He was on his hands and knees.
Motoki went to finish him off. He ran up to kick Zoisite into Hell as one would kick a soccer ball into a goal.
However, Zoisite barely managed to lift his hand to shoot a weak energy blast, defeating Motoki.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" yelled Motoki as he flew with the beam of energy into the wall.
"That was silly," laughed Nephrite.
"What the heck was that?" asked Jadeite.
"I don't care," said Beryl. "Someone go mop that up."
Kunzite went to get the mop.
While everyone let their guard down, Motoki sprung up like a spring, shocking everyone with his willpower.
He threw a quick sucker-punch, knocking out Zoisite.
Then he collapsed to the ground.
Kunzite returned and saw Zoisite knocked out.
"Beryl why?!" cried Kunzite. "I was gone for three seconds, he couldn't have wronged you that much!"
"It wasn't me," said Beryl. "Now clean up the trash. That includes your boyfriend!"
Kunzite was mad. He had to take a deep breath and control himself. "Easy now, Kunzite," he said mentally. "Don't take her out until you get the Silver Crystal."
Kunzite started mopping up Motoki's body, but Motoki sprung up like a spring and threw a swift karate chop at Kunzite's neck.
It had no effect.
Motoki made a break for it. Kunzite sniped him down.
He laid there twitching by the exit.
"Hmph," said Kunzite.
He headed for Motoki's brutally bashed corpse, but hesitated, not wanting to be a victim of another surprise attack. When Motoki was unresponsive, Kunzite pushed him into the dustpan and dumped him out in the North Pole, where he laid face-first in the snow.
Unbeknowest to all, Ami was not yet dead.
She wandered through the Negaverse with her computer.
"Dammit, what's the wi-fi password?!" she howled.
She passed something that appeared to be the portal she came in from.
"No, that can't be the exit," deduced Ami. "My computer says I have to take a left."
She took a left, then another left, then another left.
"Why does this thing keep telling me to take lefts? I feel like I've been walking in circles, but my calculations cannot be incorrect!"
"Take a right," the computer told her.
"Oh boy, finally!"
Ami took a right while looking at the computer instead of where she was walking.
She fell off a cliff into the abyss and was never seen again.
FIN
