"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Tell me it this second or I won't listen," said Beryl.

"Alright, so ultimately, I thoroughly concluded that the most likely-"

"BEEP!" yelled Beryl, imitating a buzzer. "Times up! Next!"

Nephrite stepped up to the hot plate.

"Ehhhhhhh Beryl me boy!" he said enthusiastically. "Wait till you get a load of this one! So I can take more energy from one person than Jadeite can take from a thousand! And there's more! Everything is ruled by-"

Zoisite teleported in in front of Nephrite. "Nephrite is a loser!" he announced.

"Ha!" scoffed Nephrite. "You're a weakling."

"WA!" cried Zoisite. He came back three seconds later with Kunzite.

"Nephrite, you're a weakling," said Kunzite.

Nephrite threw a wild punch, but Kunzite deflected it and returned the blow tenfold.

Nephrite fell to the ground. He could not deny that compared to Kunzite, he was a weakling.

"And that's why I'm a lord," said Kunzite, taking a bow.

Queen Beryl and Zoisite applauded.

"So anyway Zoisite, tell me all about your... uh... wait what do you do again?" asked Beryl.

Nephrite stormed off. Jeddy followed.

"I'm tired of Kunzite being stronger than me!" yelled Nephrite.

"Same," said Jed. "If only we could get bigger better faster stronger!"

"Yeah, yeah!" agreed Nephrite. "If only there was a way to train for a year in one day!"

"That's oddly specific," said Jadeite. "Why would we want to do that?"

"Because," explained Nephrite. "It would be futile to start training at the same rate as Kunzite. He's got a head start so we can never catch up! But if we can do an epic training cram session, we might just be able to beat him!"

"Too bad that's unrealistic," sighed Jadeite sadly.

"Wait a second," remembered Nephrite. "I know someone who owes me a favor!"


Nephrite and Jadeite nervously entered the Time Gate.

"Mayo!" called Nephrite. "It's me!"

Setsuna Meiyo charged with her fists of fury.

"Ayy watch it!" cried Nephrite. "It's just me!"

"And me!" added Jed.

Setsuna Meiyo charged with her fists of vengeance.

After getting it out of her system, she calmed down and sat down on the floor.

"What do you guys want?" she asked.

"Can we use your Hyperbolic Time Chamber?" asked Nephrite.

"You mean the Time Portal?"

"Sure, whatever," said Nephrite. "Do you think I can use it to get a year's worth of training in one day?"

"That's oddly specific," said Setsuna. "But I think so. Just don't over-exert yourself!"

"Alright, good luck!" said Jadeite, going to leave. "Glhf!"

"Hey, not so fast!" barked Nephrite. "I need a sparing partner!"

Jadeite gulped. "I don't know about that," said Jed. "There's so many more productive things I can do in a year!"

"But can you do them in one day?" asked Nephrite.

"No, but-"

"No buts! Let's go!"

Nephrite dragged Jadeite into the Time Chamber.


One day later...

Jadeite emerged from the Time Chamber, traumatized and in a full-body cast.

Nephrite emerged with longer hair, a beard, and rippling abs. "You were a good punching bag," said Nephrite. "Now go get some rest!"

Jadeite passed out.

Nephrite wheeled him home.

"I think I am finally strong enough to take out Kunzite!" chortled Nephrite.


"So if we put a cake in the middle of a human-sized mouse trap, the Sailors will be bound to step inside and get snagged!"

"They're not idiots, Kunzite," scoffed Endymion. "Sailor Moon is tougher than any she-lion!"

Kunzite went to sock him but Beryl was right there. "Rrrrrrr," he growled in frustration.

"As I was saying, my queen," resumed Kunzite, "I saw the perfect trap on Ebay and if you let me borrow your , I can-"

Just then, Nephrite swooped down and drop-kicked Kunzite on the head.

Kunzite went flying.

"Good job!" commended Beryl.

Zoisite teleported in to gloat, but spotted Kunzite laying unconscious.

"This can't be right!" he cried in shock.

Zoisite charged Nephrite with a crystal, but Nephrite snapped it and Zoisite in half.

"Now then," began Nephrite.

"Good job, you beat a weakling like Zoisite," taunted Prince Endymion. "How about you fight a real man for once?"

"I'll take you out!" challenged Nephrite.

Nephrite charged, but Beryl started screaming.

"NO!" she wailed. "You can beat up Jadeite, Kunzite, and Zoisite as much as you want, but don't lay a finger on Mamoru Chiba!"

Nephrite paused for a second. Then he remembered his training. "You're not the boss of me!" he cried.

He karate-chopped Mamoru Chiba in the neck and he crumpled like tissue paper.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Beryl. "DIE!"

She shot an eternal sleep attack. Nephrite caught it in one hand like it was a physical object. He ate it.

Beryl started shaking in her boots. She slowly backed away and did not return.

Kunzite crawled to his feet. "Nephrite, what happened?! Why are you so strong!?"

"I'll never tell!" yelled Nephrite. "I am more deserving of this cape than you now!"

He put on Kunzite's cape. "Call me Lord Nephrite!"

Kunzite's heart shattered into a million pieces. He collapsed to the floor.

Zoisite stayed down.

Nephrite moved into Kunzite's castle and threw out all of Zoisite and Kunzite's stuff into the abyss.

"Home sweet home," said Nephrite. He teleported his sofa in and sat down. "Mmmmmmm," he sighed.


"Jadeite!" howled Zoisite. "Do you know why Nephrite is so strong?"

Jadeite tried to scoot his body-cast away, but Zoisite grabbed a hold and pulled him back.

"No! Please!" cried Jadeite. "Nephrite will kill me!"

"I'll kill you right now!" yelled Zoisite.

"You drive a hard bargain," admitted Jadeite. "Alright, he went in Sailor Pluto's Time Chamber and trained for a year in one day! I was his punching bag!"

"Wait," said Zoisite. "You trained too? How come you're not as strong?"

"I'm a slow learner," said Jadeite sadly. "I couldn't keep up."

"Hmm," considered Zoisite. "So where is this Time Chamber?"


Zoisite and Kunzite hopped into the Time Chamber.

"Alright Zoisite, I guess you'll be my sparring buddy," said Kunzite.

"Uh oh," said Zoisite. "Go easy on me please!"

"Of course," said Kunzite. He gently tapped Zoisite and he went flying into the wall.

"WAAAAAA!"

"Hmph," said Kunzite. "This is going to be a long year."


Jadeite teleported into Nephrite's castle. However, he was unfamiliar with the layout of Zoisite and Kunzite's previous home, and teleported right by the staircase.

His body-cast started to slide towards it.

"NO!" he cried. "HEEEEEELP!"

He tumbled down the stairs for 40 stories until finally landing at Nephrite's dining table.

Nephrite was sitting at the table. "Hey Jadeite."

He examined the body-casted bozo. "Uh oh, what's happening?" Nephrite asked.

"Zoisite and Kunzite entered the Time Chamber!" cried Jed.

"WHAT!?" howled Nephrite. "Why'd you tell them where it was?!"

"Zoisite threatened to kill me!" explained Jadeite.

"I'll kill you!" yelled Nephrite.

"You drive a hard bargain," said Jadeite.

Nephrite had to think of a plan, and fast.

He teleported to the Time Chamber.


One day later, Zoisite and Kunzite emerged.

Kunzite was 20X stronger and Zoisite was about as strong as Nephrite originally was.

They opened the door, and Nephrite was outside.

"Hey, you!" yelled Kunzite.

Nephrite fired a blast at Zoisite because he was an easy target.

Kunzite leapt in the way and deflected the blast, but during the one second Kunzite was distracted, Nephrite slid under his legs and into the Time Chamber.

He shut the door and locked it.

Kunzite and Zoisite tried to open it up, but it was futile.

"DAMMIT!" shouted Kunzite. "When he emerges, he'll be stronger than me again!"

"Can't we just slip under him like he did to us and train again?" asked Zoisite.

"No," said Kunzite. "He'll be in a level beyond us by then, there's no way we can get past him."

"This looks like the end," said Zoisite sadly. "Who knew it would end like this? It's a real pity that we know our expiration dates, because now every second feels like a millennium."

He layed down on the floor to cry.

"It's not over yet!" insisted Kunzite. "We still have 24 hours to think of an idea!"


23 hours and 59 minutes later...

"Crap!" cried Kunzite. "We didn't think of a single idea!"

"Then we must go out the honorable way," decided Zoisite.

He pulled out two swords. "Lets kill ourselves before Nephrite can have the satisfaction!"

"Ok," said Kunzite. "RIPeroo."

"Yes," agreed Zoisite. "RIPeroo."

The clock struck 12.

"Wait a second," said Kunzite. He took the sword and jammed it against the door.

Nephrite attempted to emerge from the Chamber. But the door was stuck.

"Hey!" yelled Nephrite through the door. "What's going on?!"

"That will buy us some time!" exclaimed Kunzite. "Quick, get heavy objects!"

Zoisite dragged over a piano. Kunzite pulled over a cruise ship, and they jammed the door completely shut.

"We did it!" cried Zoisite. "He's trapped in the Time Chamber forever!"

"Hahahahahah," laughed Kunzite. "Looks like trying to be a lord like me blew up in his face!"

They moved back into their castle, despite it having none of their things.

"This is a new Nephrite-free beginning," said Zoisite optimistically.

"Yes," said Kunzite. "I am the lord again! Call me Kunzite-sama!"

"Always!" said Zoisite. "But you have to call me Zoisite-chan."

"No," said Kunzite.

"Ok," said Zoisite.


Five days later, they stumbled upon Jadeite at the bottom of their staircase where Nephrite had left him.

"Hey guys," said Jed. "Still paralyzed."

They stepped over him and made breakfast.

"Looks like everything is back to normal, huh?" asked Jadeite.

"Yep," said Zoisite.

"But Kunzite didn't get his lordship back," realized Jadeite in confusion.

"What do you mean?" demanded Kunzite.

"Well, you don't have your cape! You can't be a lord without a cape!"

"SHIT!" cried Kunzite. "I'm going back!"

"No!" yelled Zoisite. "I'll get you a new cape!"

"Nah," said Kunzite. "That was a special cape. It will only take a minute."

"But Kunzite!" said Zoisite. "Nephrite will obliterate you!"

"Nah, he's probably dead by now from starvation," figured Kunzite.

"I don't think we need to eat," said Jadeite, but they were already gone. "Shit!" cried Jed. "I forget to ask them to help me up!"


Kunzite moved the boat away from the Time Chamber door, and cautiously opened it.

He took a step inside.

"Nephrite?" he called to make sure he was dead.

There was no response. He took another step in and closed the door behind him.

Zoisite waited outside.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Kunzite.

"Oh no!" cried Zoisite. Light flashed through the door. He dashed inside.

He summoned a golf club to protect himself from Nephrite.

He cautiously took one step after the other, looking in all directions. "Only five days passed," he told himeslf. "Nephrite couldn't have gotten that strong in five days... Wait a second!"

A tentacle sprung from the ground and grabbed Zoisite.

"WAAAA!" he wailed.

It smashed him to the floor and he was no more.

Unbeknowest to either of them, in his five years of intense training, Nephrite surpassed the need for a physical form. He was now just a blob of energy like Metalia, and thus he was able to one-shot both of them.

He sent an energy tentacle to shut the door, and went back to training.


1 month later...

Jadeite finally emerged from his body-cast as a beautiful butterfly.

"I'm freeeeeee!" he cried with joy. "Freeeeeeeeeee!"

Suddenly curiosity over took him, and he decided to enter the Time Chamber. "I wonder how their battle went..."

As soon as he opened the door, a gust of energy wiped him from existence.

Nephrite's energy form seeped from the chamber.

"Hey!" yelled Mayo. "Who are you? I did not give you permission to use this gate!"

Nephrite charged Mayo.

"AHHHH!" cried Pluto, stopping time in a panic.

But Nephrite was so fast that he went through time, and took her out anyway. He became the guardian of time.

A few years later he got bored, and took out Sailor Saturn as well so he could be the god of destruction.

Eventually he rose to the heavens and became one with the universe.

FIN