Outer Worlds... It's awesome. 'Nuff said. Also this is very important for this chapter. These "Hello" are spoken words, and these 'Hello' are thoughts.
January 6th, 2019. Dawn.
The lutrine woke up to the smell of food, as he had done the last two days. Logan had killed something else, but by the time Ben stretched himself out and went outside it was just a pile of fur and bones, and Ben was far too groggy to care about what he killed. This he was ok with. It was, hopefully, a wild Pokémon and he was hungry, That's how nature works. Predators get hungry and they hunt. Logan looked back when he heard the zipper open.
"Ah, morning. There's still a few bits of meat left if'n you're hungry." Ben rubbed his eyes, and his ears. Was that a greeting without snark and sass? Logan noticed this and chuckled. "Hey I can be nice... sometimes."
Ben smiled. "Well it's good to see you actually trying to get along with me. I was starting to think it would never happen." He walked up and sat next to Logan. Logan promptly shoved him over for the remark, but playfully, at least for a Zoroark. Ben still ended up on the ground, but he didn't get hurt. Just a bit of dirt on his fur. "So I'm not allowed to be snarky?"
"Well I'm already a smartass. Do we really need another?" Ben laughed pretty good at that one. Logan made a really good point, even if he did it in a joking manner..
"Alright, alright."
Logan stabbed the remaining meat with the stick he'd been using to cook them to roast them a bit more since they were still bleeding a bit. After about a minute he blew on the basically shish kabob and handed it to Ben. "It's plain so don't be expecting a blast of flavor." Ben bit into the meat. As Logan said, it wasn't anything great, but being so fresh, it wasn't bad. While he was eating Logan shot a small Dark Pulse from his hand, the wind and force of which extinguished the fire. Then, to Ben's amazement, Logan actually began packing up the tent. He almost choked on the meat in his maw when he saw that, but he hit his chest and it went down. Logan noticed and shot a pouty look. "You have no faith in me." Ben shook his head. Logan was really milking this. He seemed to have a flair for the dramatic.
With Logan's help, the tent was packed up within minutes of Ben finishing his breakfast. Logan actually smiled as they set off, and not a sarcastic smile or a smug one, but a genuine warm smile. Ben saw this and smiled too. Finally he and the illusionist fox were actually getting along, and for a couple hours, he was enjoying his journey. Logan wasn't complaining or insulting him, there was no awkward silence, it was a nice time. He still used Oshawott to battle since he needed the training and Logan didn't, but all was going well. This was what he had been hoping for when he set off.
Logan actually felt sort of happy for once. He felt at peace. He had no desire to be overly violent, or rude, or angry, or anything. He actually was happy to be alive for the first time in what felt like forever. He began to think that maybe this wouldn't be so bad, that maybe, just maybe, he overreacted. Maybe he wouldn't even want to be set free in a few months.
It wouldn't last.
'You're slipping Logan.' Logan's smile dropped. The thought rang out in his head. 'I'm so sick of talking to myself.' He sighed and turned to Ben. "I'm tired. Can you return me for a while?" Ben looked at him, puzzled. He noted the change in behavior, before recalling him. He began to wonder if the vulpine Pokémon perhaps was bipolar.
Logan found himself in the darkness of the Pokeball. He was broken down purely to energy, but to him, it seemed as if his physical body was just floating in the nothingness. He let out another sigh and spoke into the void. "What do you want?" The voice that responded was not heard around him, but in his own head. It was his own voice.
'You can't do this.' Logan knew where this was going. He'd had this train of thought before. He knew what this was about. It was what had been plaguing him and making him wish for death for a long time now. He didn't want to think he was arguing with himself, so he elected to speak aloud instead of thinking his answer. When you think, your emotions are faster than logical thought, so his emotions were what he had been arguing with, what he'd been trying to deal with. He'd tried so hard to keep his emotions in check, to bottle them up, but he just couldn't manage it. "I can do whatever I want. My emotions don't control me, I control them, and therefore you." 'I'm am you dumbass. You can't run from me forever. Sooner or later you'll have to face me.' Logan growled. "I have been facing you. I've been depressed for ages. I want to move on but you just won't go away!" His emotions were quick to reply as always. 'Feeling something and actually facing it are two very different things. You can feel a fear of bugs all you want but that doesn't mean you face the fear. When you face something you confront it!' Logan was a very logical person, so his emotions used logic too, logic Logan couldn't refute. "I'm trying to move on don't you see!? I'm trying to face my fear!" If his emotions could laugh they would. Instead they merely sent words to his brain once again. 'You CAN'T move on until you actually face your emotions! Unless you really face your fear!' Logan became very angry. These conversations never went anywhere. "THEN TELL ME HOW TO DO THAT! I WANT THIS TO BE OVER! I hate being like this! I don't want to be like I am, but it's the only thing that keeps me going. I just can't put it behind me. What I did... I want to be nice so that when I die-" His emotions interrupted him. 'Do you really think that someone like you will go anywhere good when you die? You're a cruel, sadistic, self righteous, arrogant, angry prick! If you don't change you're going to burn for all eternity!' Logan was on the verge of crying. "Then please just tell me how to be better!" He knew the answer that was coming, and he hated it. 'You have to face your fear.'
That was it. Logan yelled in rage and let out a powerful Dark Pulse. "Please, just leave me alone. Leave me to be bitter and sad. I deserve it."
Outside the Pokeball, Ben had no idea the inner turmoil Logan was going through, and he kept going towards Striaton City. His first Gym Battle lay ahead, and he was eager to take it on. First he'd need to catch another Pokémon. He knew about the trio that ran the Gym. You fought the one that held the Type advantage over the starter you chose. A brutal first challenge for a new Trainer to say the least, but he was older and smarter than most new Trainers. He opened the GPS on his phone. "Ok so just east of Striaton is the Dreamyard. The Pokémon there tend to be higher Level so it would be preferable to capture one there. The question is which one? There are the standard Pokémon. Purrloin and Patrat. One of them maybe? Though maybe the rarer Munna would be better, but it's half as common as Purrloin and Patrat and may take too long to find..." He scratched his head with his claws. "What kinds of Moves can these guys learn again?" He rubbed his temple. He had studied Moves, Stats, Types, and all that for over a decade, but now that he was having to put it into actual practice he was unsure of himself. "Ok Ben, calm down. You've studied. You know what to do. Just do it. You've got this."
January 6th, 2019. 8:00 pm.
It was well after dusk when Ben walked into Striaton City. It was larger than Accumula, being at around 1,500 people, but still nothing impressive. Another pretty small place with no major places to eat and shop apart from one or two. He was feeling a bit sleepy having been under the night for a few hours and walking since dawn, but he wasn't ready to get a room at the Center just yet. He headed up to the Dreamyard.
He entered the ruins not long before 9. He wanted to get to bed by 11, so he had about 90 minutes to train Oshawott and hunt for a Munna. He spotted a couple trainers near the entrance to the ruins, but upon spotting that they had two and three Pokeballs respectively, he elected not to challenge them until he'd trained Oshawott a bit more. Oddly enough there was a small tree blocking the entrance. 'Is that why they aren't in the ruins? Really?' Ben sighed and just climbed the fence. He dropped down and wlaked over to where the grass was. It was then he spotted a pair of people wearing those odd uniforms he'd seen the previous day, as well as a Munna between them. He walked up to then. "Team Plasma I believe?" The duo, one male human and one female lynx, spun around to face him.
"What are you doing here?" The wild cat questioned.
"I can ask the same of you. That Munna doesn't look too happy. What are you doing with it?" This time the human answered.
"Why would we ever tell you?" Their position was clear. Ben had no option.
"Well if you won't tell me, it can't be good. So I'm gonna stop you." Ben sent out Oshawott, now Level 13. He was hoping he'd have to fight one and then the other, but they weren't about to let that happen. They both threw their Pokeballs. A Patrat and a Purrloin emerged in front of Oshawott. 'Ok this is bad. Oshawott probably can't take them both at once.' He sighed and grabbed Logan's ball. 'Logan, I need your help here.' He threw the ball and the tall fox materialized. The two Plasma Grunts took a step back. This was way more than their Pokémon could handle.
"Oh it's these dipshits. Let me guess, your pathetic Oshawott couldn't handle itself so now it's up to me." Ben sighed. He was so sure they'd made progress. Now Logan was back to his old self.
"Yes, please. Please don't try to kill their Pokémon."
Both Plasma members were startled and spoke in unison. "KILL!?" They looked to each other and nodded. They recalled their Pokémon and bolted. They cared about their Pokémon, and sending their Pokémon against a Zoroark was basically suicide, especially since the Zoroark apparently had a tendency for murder. The Munna floated over to them and made a noise that Ben assumed was appreciation. It then retreated a bit, before a Musharna, presumably a parent, and they floated off into the darkness together.
Ben faced Logan, and vice versa, Logan's scleras were a bit red. As if he'd been crying. "Logan, we need to talk."
