TUSOKI
14; Release.
A/n; It has been a while since I wrote. But here we are. This is inspired by a sketch by a fellow K18 fan at Tumblr, it just made me want to write something. Links don't work here so I can't really redirect you sadly.
Anyway, this is short and angsty...kind of.
Onward!
She was standing motionless as the soft, and unusually cold, island breeze whipped around her. To anyone else, the slight current of air would have been enough to make them shiver and retreat inside.
But she wasn't fazed by it. Temperature changes were lost on her.
She blinked, looking up as the sky got darker. Clouds were forming right above her. Soon it would rain.
Android Eighteen kicked the sand in front of her feet almost angrily, that would just be the perfect setting for her mood. She wasn't even sure what had her feeling so aggravated.
She scoffed softly at herself, almost berating her choice of words.
She was an android, cold and emotionless, she didn't feel anything. Or so she would have people believe. Deep inside she knew this statement to be completely false and she hated it.
Because feeling was confusing, feeling was maddening and it had her going in circles, lost as to what she was supposed to do. She was all by herself. Her brother was missing. He might even be dead far as she knew. Ultimately, she figured, there was no purpose for her in life anymore. What would she do?
The sound of soft, hesitant, footsteps behind her interrupted her train of thought and made her frown heavily.
"What do you want?"
She could practically feel the person jump at the harshness in her tone.
"N... nothing. Just, well it's going to rain so I thought ma..."
"Leave me alone!" She said with a clenched jaw. It took a good few seconds before she heard the person turn away.
Eighteen opened the palm of her hand and sent a small energy wave into the Ocean. The water before her had turned from tranquil to wild, with waves crashing on the shoreline, soaking her feet.
She was wrong, she wasn't completely alone, but she didn't expect anything from the occupants of the small pink house behind her.
Sure the bald monk had offered her a place to stay a few months back, but she had figured it was just out of pity. She had no one else to turn too or anywhere to go, after all.
Eighteen sent another wave of artificial energy into the water as the rain started to fall, first softly but steadily gaining momentum.
She stubbornly crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking down when something touched her leg. Apparently, Krillin had left her an umbrella which was now steadily being dragged away by the wind that had picked up. She watched it skid over the sand until it disappeared into the water.
"Serves him right, I don't need his pity." She said softly to herself but already finding it hard to keep up her facade when she thought of him.
Krillin had been nothing but courteous to her from the moment she moved in, which couldn't have been said from the other two occupants of the house. But they had learned their lesson quickly and stopped bothering her.
He was really something else. He didn't overstep his boundaries like the others had done. In fact, Krillin respected her and stayed out of her way most of the time. And while she relished in that fact, in some kind of weird twist of fate, his hesitancy and guarded behavior around her also set her on edge.
Eighteen snorted, knowing that she hadn't exactly been the friendliest to be around. But something in his attitude around her rubbed her the wrong way. It was infuriating because she knew he was only doing what she expected him to do. But she couldn't help but think it almost seemed as if he feared her.
He'd tried to engage her though, from time to time. He would try and strike up a conversation which was mostly one-sided. Eighteen usually didn't say anything aside from maybe a grunt here and there. Or he would try and coax her to eat or drink something, knowing full well she didn't need too. She had yelled her head off at him the first time he offered. But despite that, he still came back and tried.
She had to admit, eating solid food wasn't bad, and his cooking was more than decent. But she made sure she didn't grow too accustomed to it. After all, she hadn't planned on staying long anyway.
But that plan backfired since she was still here. On this stupid small island in the middle of the ocean, with its stupid palm tree and stupid pink house.
Eighteen glanced behind her. She saw a shadow moving away from the window. She ignored it, knowing full well that Krillin had started to worry about her by now as she stood there in the relentless rain.
Something she still didn't understand about the small monk, if he was scared of her then why did he also seem to care for her to some degree? Always trying to make her comfortable, never judging her despite who, no, what she was.
His behavior confused her and angered her yet his presence was also soothing in some kind of weird way. And sometimes she found herself wanting to seek him out, just to have a moment of peace in her own mind.
She couldn't stand it.
These different emotions and feelings, she didn't need them. She had been fine before she got eaten by Cell. Now her whole world was turned upside down and the inner turmoil was slowly getting to be too much. It wouldn't be long before she simply wouldn't be able to hold it in anymore and snap. All this frustration and anger, it needed an outlet but she didn't know how to deal with it.
Eighteen shook her head slowly, then made her way back to the house.
When she stepped in, she was greeted by Krillin who held out a towel. Wordlessly she took it from him.
"I could make you some hot tea to..." He trailed off when he saw the look she shot him.
"Never mind. Goodnight, Eighteen." He said softly.
Despite herself, Eighteen felt something stir within. She stubbornly turned away from him, drying off her wet hair as best as she could. Then she closed her eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.
Krillin was almost out of the room when she spoke up.
"Tea would be nice."
He smiled slightly to himself, making sure the soaked cyborg didn't see it. He nodded, turning back towards her and walking past the archway in the wall into the kitchen. He took one of Master Roshi's kettles and filled it with water to boil.
He nervously bit his lip when Eighteen followed him.
"Maybe you should change into some dry clothes while waiting for the water to boil?" He suggested.
Eighteen glared at him but found that he had a point. She turned away and disappeared upstairs.
Krillin released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Eighteen could be so intimidating at times, a fact that she maybe wasn't aware of herself...but Krillin shook that thought away.
She was very well aware of it.
He hadn't expected things to be all happy and smiles when he first found her and invited her into his Master's home. But he hadn't expected for things to turn out the way they did. Eighteen's mood lately seemed to have gone from bad to worse. He could sense she was struggling with herself but there was nothing he could do to help.
She wouldn't let him.
A soft whistling sound shook him from his thoughts and he busied himself with preparing two cups of tea, figuring he might as well join her if she let him. He poured the tea and placed her cup on the kitchen table while he took a seat on the other side. He wrapped both his hands around the steaming cup of liquid as he waited for Eighteen to come back down and join him.
Eighteen stepped into the kitchen, feeling slightly better now that she was dry. She silently took a seat across from Krillin but didn't interact with him. Instead, she took a careful sip of her tea.
Krillin kept his gaze on the swirling liquid in his cup as he stirred it. The silence around him was a little uncomfortable. He didn't really know what to do. He could strike up a conversation but knew she probably wouldn't engage in it anyway. There was no sense in talking to yourself.
After a few more minutes of silence, he dared to look up at the person in front of him. Eighteen had her gaze averted, watching the raindrops slide down the large glass window the kitchen possessed. She was slowly sipping her tea. Krillin was glad to see some colour returning to her features.
"I let your umbrella get pulled into the ocean." She said softly, startling Krillin who hadn't realized he had been staring at her longer than he intended. He cleared his throat.
"Oh..uhm, well that's okay. We have plenty." He answered.
Eighteen shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She set aside her now half empty teacup and fixed her gaze on him. Krillin could practically feel her eyes on him, scrutinizing everything that he was in that moment. He swallowed some tea as he carefully looked up to meet her gaze.
Her stare was cold, she was frowning at him but she didn't say anything. Krillin clasped his hands together.
"Don't you ever get mad?" She suddenly asked. The question caught him off guard.
"What?" He stammered.
"You heard me, I essentially tossed your umbrella away, and counting the other things I broke of yours over time...and yet you always seem to take it in stride. Never losing your temper over it. What is it with you?"
Krillin licked his lips as he thought of an accurate response. It was true, she had broken quite some stuff in the house when she first came to live with them, but that was largely because of Roshi and his habits than anything else. He never thought she did it on purpose or anything.
"Well, I guess I don't really value stuff all that much." He said with a small smile. "It's something that remained with me from life as a monk."
Eighteen scoffed at him.
"You're an idiot." She said.
"I guess?" Krillin said with a shrug.
Eighteen unfolded her arms and leaned forward on the table suddenly. Krillin couldn't help the small flinch as she fixed her gaze upon him. He saw something flash in her eyes as they widened just a fraction.
"You scared of me."
The statement hung between them while Eighteen's eyes seemed to burn right through him. Krillin gulped softly.
"N..no, of course not." He said after a moment of tensed silence.
"Liar." Eighteen said, thoughts from earlier coming back to her but somehow she just couldn't let go this time.
She stood up, pushing the table away from them. Krillin hastily got up too, almost tripping over the chair behind him when she advanced on him. He kept walking backward, eyes fixed upon the cyborg before him. Her expression was blank, but he couldn't help the slight feeling of dread that coiled in his stomach. He swallowed a small lump when his back came in contact with the wall and her arms planted themselves firmly on either side of his head.
He was trapped.
Eighteen looked down on the monk before her.
"Liar." She hissed once again.
Krillin returned her stare with one of his own. But even if her face didn't betray anything, her eyes did. He could see the anger in them, frustration aimed at him and yet, there was something else too. Confusion? Hurt? He wasn't sure.
But, taking a deep breath, he straightened his back, lifting his hands to grab a hold of Eighteen's wrists. He could see a flash of surprise come over her features, even if it was just for a few seconds.
He scowled up at her as he pushed forward, causing her to step back slightly so her hands weren't leaning on the wall behind him anymore.
"I'm not scared of you." He said in what he hoped was a confident voice.
He carefully brought his hands down, still holding onto Eighteen's wrists. He held them in between them, fingers flexing nervously against her cool skin. Even if she felt it, she didn't say anything. She was just looking at him.
Then she roughly pulled her hands away from him.
"Well, you certainly act like it all the damn time! What? Scared I'm going to turn on you and kill you? Aren't you all waiting for that to happen?" She exploded angrily.
Krillin's eyes widened at her words, he had no idea where she got that idea, he certainly never gave an indication of such a thing happening.
"What? I never.."
But Eighteen silenced him with a wave of her hand and turned away from him.
"Forget it!"
She closed her eyes momentarily. She had shocked herself with that statement. Part of her wondered if this was why she felt so out of it lately and if this had been the underlying reason for her frustration and anger at herself, at Krillin, at the whole world.
Maybe she was the one who didn't trust herself to turn a new leaf. Maybe that's why she was so inadequate at adapting to her new life, so weak in dealing with all that was threatening to drown her within herself. Then the realization hit her like a ton of bricks.
She was petrified.
This second chance given to her by the man standing behind her, she didn't know how to deal with it by herself. And although he had offered his help in more ways than one, she had just pushed him away in her anger at herself.
"Eighteen?" Krillin softly said, taking a step towards her.
"I'm not sure why you would think such a thing. You're not the person you apparently still see yourself as. I'm no..."
But Krillin's sentence was cut short by a soft noise that startled him. He very carefully leaned forward and reached for the cyborg in front him. She still had her back towards him, but as soon as he gently touched her shoulder, she turned around and crashed into him. Krillin stumbled a good few steps backward by the sheer force of it.
He stayed perfectly still as Eighteen clung to him, her whole body was shaking and Krillin realized that his suspicion was true.
Eighteen was crying.
He gingerly wrapped an arm around her sobbing frame. When she didn't push him away, he wrapped his other arm around her and held her to the best of his ability. He could feel her hands clench uncontrollably on his back, bunching the fabric of his shirt in her grip while her tears soaked his shoulder.
Krillin gently rubbed her back with one of his hands all the while whispering what he hoped were reassuring words to calm her down a bit.
The blonde clung to him for dear life it seemed and part of Krillin was becoming increasingly worried for her well being.
After a few moments, Eighteen took a deep breath, her sobs subsiding somewhat as she turned her face into the crook of Krillin's neck, her hair partly falling over his shoulder. She inhaled his scent, it had a calming effect on her. She could feel him rubbing small circles on her back, but didn't understand the words he was saying, she didn't need too. She sniffled as her sobs stopped completely.
Krillin felt her calm down in his arms and let out a small sigh of relief, he wasn't very used to people crying on his shoulder or consoling them for that matter, but so far he seemed to have done a decent job for Eighteen's crying had stopped. She was still holding him tightly, he could feel the warmth of her breath on his skin. It tickled and made him blush just slightly though he tried shrugging it off.
After a moment of silence, Krillin carefully pulled away just enough so he could get a glimpse at Eighteen's face. Her tear-stained cheeks were flushed lightly.
"Are you okay now?" He asked softly to which Eighteen gave a small nod.
Yet she didn't let go of him. She merely turned her face away from him, resting her cheek on his shoulder. Krillin could feel his legs and back start to ache a little from his slightly backward stance. Slowly he sank to the floor taking Eighteen with him. To his surprise she still didn't let go, instead, she crawled into his lap, keeping a tight hold on him. Krillin willed the blush down that threatened to stain his cheeks a second time, she was practically straddling him and still hiding her face.
Then a thought struck him and he couldn't help the small smile on his face.
"You don't have to be embarrassed, everyone needs a good cry every once in a while." He said softly.
"Shut up." Came her response.
Eighteen could feel him chuckle against her. Now that she had calmed down, shame started to kick in from losing her control like that. If Krillin noticed, he didn't say anything else and she was grateful for that, it was hard enough to come to terms with herself over it.
Part of her couldn't fathom just how things had turned out the way they did and yet here she was, on the floor in the arms of the small monk who had rescued her in more ways than he probably was aware of.
Eighteen almost snorted at that train of thought but couldn't deny the truth in those words. Part of her was relieved, feeling a little lighter now that she had managed to at least start to release some of the turmoil that resided within. Krillin's arms were back around her as he hugged her lightly, she could feel the warmth radiate from his body against hers. And while his touch was comforting, it was also a little awkward now that she fully registered just how much she was leaning on him.
She regulated the temperature in her face before finally leaning back. She got up from his lap, but instead of walking away as Krillin had expected, she sat back down next to him.
She let out a sigh.
"Don't worry, this stays between you and me." Krillin joked softly.
He pulled up a knee so he could rest his arm on it.
"And I guess I haven't been completely honest, I stand by what I said though, I am not scared of you, but you do intimidate me a little sometimes." He said with a chuckle.
"But that wasn't really what all this was about, was it?" He said giving a small wave of his hand. He turned serious as he fixed his gaze on the cyborg next to him, she didn't return it.
"About what you said, please you have to know that none of us think of you that way. All we...well all I want to do is help you."
Eighteen sighed, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them.
"What am I supposed to do?" She asked suddenly.
"My brother is gone, I'm all alone. It's so hard to comprehend all that happened. My whole life as I know it is a mess. Created by a maniac only to become food for some kind of monster. And then finding that I am still here after all of that and having this opportunity at a second chance. To live my life the way I want too and yet I am utterly lost." Eighteen rested her forehead on her knees, hiding her face.
"But you're not alone." Krillin gently nudged her shoulder. Eighteen looked up and locked her gaze on him.
"You don't have to do all of this by yourself. I'm here too as well as the others, we all want to support you. I can only imagine how confusing everything is for you right now, but I'll try my best to guide you through it. To help you find your place in this world. As for your brother, he's not gone." Krillin rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"I am still completely sure he got resurrected. We can search for him. He has to be somewhere. I'll help you in any way I can."
"But why?" Eighteen asked softly, She almost winched at the sincere look her gave her.
"Because you're someone I started to care about." He simply said.
Eighteen felt the beginnings of guilt start to gnaw at her insides as she thought back to all the times she treated him harshly or ignored him. Krillin seemed to sense her unease for he gently squeezed her shoulder.
"Don't worry, a few bad moods won't deter me from becoming a friend to you." He said with a smile. "If you let me, that is."
Eighteen almost chuckled at that. She playfully punched his shoulder, albeit a little harder than she meant too.
After a few more moments of silence, Eighteen let out a sigh.
"You really think I can turn my life around, Krillin? That I can be someone other than I'm programmed to be?"
Krillin nodded.
"Yes, I do. You already proved you're not who Gero wanted you to be, now you just got to find yourself so you can take advantage of life to the fullest."
"You sound awkwardly wise right now." Eighteen remarked.
Krillin grinned.
"I have my moments."
Eighteen stood up, Krillin followed her example. Together they shoved the table and chairs back in place. Then she made her way to the stairs.
She halted her step momentarily as she turned towards Krillin who was watching her with a smile on his face.
"This stays between us, or else." She said. Then the frown disappeared and was replaced by a genuine smile.
"Of course! I said so, didn't I? Also, I'd like to live a little longer you know."
Eighteen walked up the stairs but stopped once more half way up.
"Krillin?"
"Yea?"
She regarded him for a moment. It wasn't going to be easy, but if he was by her side, she reckoned she would be okay.
"Thank you."
END.
