"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

Beryl sprung out of her chair like a jack-in-the-box and socked Jed in the throat.

"Youch!" said Jadeite, in a completely normal, non-dub-raspy voice. "Why?!" he yelled.

"You're welcome," said Beryl. "I couldn't stand that voice of yours anymore, so I fixed it!"

"Wow, thanks!" said Jadeite. "I don't even have to be evil anymore, I can do anything now!"

Beryl realized her mistake, and socked Jed in the throat again.

"No!" howled Jadeite in his DiC dub voice. "Gosh darnit."

"Haha," said Beryl. "Now you're stuck workin' for me."

"Tartar sauce," said Jadeite.

Queen Beryl turned on her favorite show, Uncle Grandpa. "Mmm," she said.

Jadeite stood there staring at Beryl as she watched that comedic masterpiece on her crystal ball.

She noticed Jadeite staring at her.

"What do you want?" demanded Beryl. "You're dismissed, leave!"

Jadeite continued to stand there.

"GOOOO!" she shouted, shooting a beam out of her crystal ball.

It trailed Jed as he ran out the door.

Beryl went back to her show. Suddenly, it was interrupted.

"Hello, we interrupt this program to bring you an important news announcement. There is an extreme hurricane warning for the following regions: Canadian Nunavut and Northwestern Territories, Norway, Northern Russia, Alaska, Greenland, the Arctic Ocean…"

"This doesn't concern me," scoffed Beryl. "Put the show back on!"

"The North Pole…" continued the announcer. "D-Point, C-Point, B-Point, A-Point…"

"Wait, hold up there!" said Beryl. "What was that?"

"D-Point," repeated the announcer.

"No!" said Beryl.

She summoned her greatest warriors.

Nephrite was on a tricycle with a lollipop.

"Hey!" he shouted. "I was only a mile away from the Starbuck's! What gives?!"

Zoisite was dressed up as Sailor Moon, and Kunzite as Tuxedo Mask.

"What the hell?" asked Nephrite looking over.

"We can explain," said Zoisite. "You see, there was a cosplay contest at our local elementary school, and-"

"Enough!" yelled Beryl. "Look at this!"

She held her ball out, but suddenly Uncle Grandpa came back on.

"I feel evil!" said Grandpa on the ball.

Beryl quickly shut it off. "Huh, looks like they switched my channel up on me! Anyway, a storm's a comin'!"

"NO!" yelled Jadeite.

"So?" asked Zoisite. "We're in the Negaverse. An over-world storm won't affect us."

"No no no no no," said Beryl, shaking her head. "This is a hurricane like no other!"

"How so?" asked Kunzite.

"Get that off!" shouted Beryl. "You remind me too much of my ex-lover in that disguise!"

Kunzite took off his Tuxedo Mask costume.

"Good job," said Jed.

Kunzite glared at him.

"What was the question?" asked Beryl.

"I said, how so?" repeated Kunzite.

"This hurricane is a category 26 storm."

"Does it even go that high?" asked Zoisite, whipping out his encyclopedia of hurricanes. "No," said Zoisite. "I think it only goes up to 24!"

"Pull down the slide," said Beryl.

Zoisite extended the graph. "Oh shit!" he cried. At the end of the graph was a skull and crossbones that said "26."

"Now you understand my worries," said Beryl.

They all nodded.

"Now listen," continued Beryl. "According to that announcement, it should be here very soon."

"How soon?" asked Nephrite, parking his trike and stepping off it.

"VERY!" screamed Beryl.

They all panicked.

"We have to fight it!" yelled Jadeite.

"Yeah!" agreed Kunzite. "It's no match for the Negapower!"

"I agree," agreed Beryl. "But we must proceed with caution. This hurricane is a superb soldier, we can't just attack it head on!"

Zoisite nodded in agreement. "Beryl is true strategist, smarter than I ever could have been."

"Before it hits, we need to gather supplies! You four, make a mad dash to the supermarket and grab everything you can! I'll board up the windows!"

"What windows?" asked Jadeite.

"No time to explain! RUUUUUUUN!" Beryl leapt out her throne and dashed off.

"Strange," said Jadeite. "I didn't know she could stand up. Her feet must have fallen asleep by now."

"Should we teleport to the store?" asked Nephy.

"No," said Kunzite. "The storm expects that. We must jog there so it cannot sense our power levels!"

They jogged through the North Pole rapidly.

"Damn," said Nephrite sweating. "I should have payed attention at gym class!"

They finally reached Tokyo and ran into the local K Mart.

"Everyone split up!" commanded Kunzite. "We must grab as much as we can!"

"Yes sir!" they shouted dashing off.

The supermarket was almost emptied because everyone had the same idea.

"No!" cried Nephrite when he reached the protein shakes. "This is my end! Without protein shakes, how will I survive?! I'll simply wither away!"

He fell to the floor in and started sobbing on the empty racks.

Zoisite, the smartest member of the team, went for the water.

There was only one gallon jug left, and someone else had their eye on it.

Motoki was only three feet from the jug, but although Zoisite was a full aisle away, he sprinted over at the speed of light.

He extended his arm, but Motoki snatched it.

"NO!" cried Zoisite.

"Wowee," said Motoki. "Sure gonna be quite a storm! Eh, better luck next time, right?"

Zoisite readied the beam. "You don't want this to end as it did last time," he said.

Motoki shuddered. "Alright, alright, you can have it, bud. I'll just fill up my jugs with toilet water before the plumbing breaks."

He handed Zoisite the jug.

Zoisite spawned a crystal and sniped him from the back.

"Hahahah, better safe than sorry," he said.

Meanwhile, Jed was dashing through the junk food aisle.

"No no n on o n ONO!" he sobbed. "They're all gone! WHYHYHYHYH!?"

He ran to the second best aisle, the cracker and similar snack aisle.

It wasn't as empty as the others. Nephrite and Zoisite had the same idea.

They were all in full panic now. The first item they spotted was Honey Maid graham crackers.

"QUICK!" hollered Zoisite. "Grab as many Honey Maid graham crackers as you can fit in the cart, and let's go!"

Jadeite ran down the aisle with his arm out, grabbing every single box of Honey Maid graham crackers in the store.

"What a steal," thought Nephrite.

They dashed over to the self-check-out, bowling through ten other people.

"QUICK!" hollered Zoisite. "Pass me the Honey Maid graham cracker boxes one by one as fast as you can!"

Zoisite scanned one box quickly, but on the next one he got stuck.

"Please place your items in the bagging area," said the machine.

"Not this again!" cried Zoisite. He desperately rotated the graham cracker box at every possible angle, but he had no luck.

"We don't have time for this!" yelled Nephrite. "Let's just leave some money and go!"

Kunzite laid down a blank check and they dashed from the supermarket.

Grandpa grabbed the blank check. "Mmm," he said. "Hey Rei, I'm headed for the bank!"

"Hurry!" exclaimed Rei. "The storm's coming!"

Grandpa started walking to the bank. But just then, he saw something in the distance.

"No…" he said. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

But the storm was too fast.

Grandpa took off in a mad sprint, but the storm grabbed him by the throat.

It tossed a car into his exposed gut, and he was no more.

"GRANDPA!" cried Rei. But she knew there was nothing she could do. She took shelter below the store, but the hurricane still found her.

"Mars Fire-"

But she couldn't even finish the attack before the hurricane Galaxia'd her to dust.

"Heh heh," said the hurricane. "And I haven't even taken my true form yet!"


The Shitennou ran all the way back to the North Pole while pushing the shopping cart.

"Jadeite!" howled Kunzite. "Get out of the kiddie seat!"

"But I don't wanna!" whined Jed.

Kunzite socked him and threw him to the ground.

They left him in their dust, and he had to try extra hard to catch up.

Finally they reached the Negaverse door.

They tried to get inside, but it was boarded shut.

"Beryl!" they howled. "Let us in!"

"Sorry, I just can't!" cried Beryl.

"But the storms coming!" they yelled.

"Exactly!" replied Beryl. "It's okay, you'll be missed."

They filled their arms with groceries and teleported inside.

Once they were in the safety of the Negaverse, they dropped all their Honey Maid graham crackers to the floor.

"Thank heavens!" cried Beryl. "You got the Honey Maids!"

"You were gonna let us die!" said Jed.

"Yes," said Beryl.

"D'ah," said Jadeite.

"Wow, you really boarded that thing up," said Nephrite, looking at all the items Beryl had shoved against the door. "Hey, is that Metalia's pod?"

"Yes," said Beryl. "It's a lot heavier than it looks."

"Hey, push me back to my cave!" shouted Metalia. "The hurricane will blow through me like a paper tiger!"

"That's too bad," said Beryl. "Come back when you can leave your bubble and I might take you seriously."

"Why I oughtta…!" said Metalia.

"Guys, we need to protect our queen!" said Jed. "Build a fort around her with the Honey Maid grahams!"

They started to build a fort around Beryl.

"Get that off of me!" she yelled, smacking the fortress to the ground. "There's no way the storm will get past big fat Metalia."

"That's where you're wrong," said Evil Endymion, sauntering in. "Don't underestimate that hurricane. It may look weak, but when push comes to shove, it's tougher than any she-lion!"

Beryl was dazed by his presence, and nodded in agreement.

"Wait a second," said Zoisite. "What about our house?!"

"I'm sorry," said Kunzite. "But there's nothing we can do now!"

"Wait a second," realized Nephrite. "I don't live here! Haha, see ya guys!"

He teleported back to his Earth mansion.

He sat down on the toilet. "Hey, since when did I have this outdoorsy wallpaper in my bathroom?"

He looked around. Nothing remained of his house except the toilet that was firmly planted on the ground.

"D'ah!" he said.

"Haha," said Melvin from the bushes. "You're going potty outside, like a caveman!"

Nephrite finished his business, and then charged Melvin like a wild hyena.

Melvin tried to run but it was no use.

Nephrite devoured his soul and left his body for the storm to finish off on its second wave through.

"Thanks," said the storm approaching.

Nephrite was frozen in shock for a moment, but at the last second he was able to teleport back to the Negaverse.

"Rip," said Nephrite.

"Haha," said Zoisite.

"Hey, your house is gonna be gone too!" barked Nephrite.

"At least I never had a house," said Jadeite.

But Zoisite was still shooken up. "I think I'm going to quickly teleport over there and grab a few possessions!"

"No!" said Kunzite. "You'll be killed!"

"The hurricane hasn't even reached here!" said Zoisite. "It will be no prob!"

Zoisite teleported in the house. "I'm gonna miss this place."

He quickly dashed about. He checked the fridge. "We'll need food first and foremost!"

He thought he heard the sound of the hurricane outside, and started to panic. He didn't know if it was his imagination or not, but he didn't want to find out. He grabbed whatever was in the cupboard and teleported back.

He laid on the floor panting.

"What'd you get?" asked Nephrite.

"Whatever I could find!" said Zoisite.

"No, Zoisite!" said Kunzite. "We already have enough Honey Maid graham crackers!"

"What?" asked Zoisite. He looked down. "NO!"

"Yes," said Beryl. "I'm starting to get sick of these," she said, eating another pack.

"Say, where's Jadeite?" asked Nephrite. "I heard he has quite a few sleeping bags at his house, maybe he could grab those so we have a place to stay while the storm passes."

The fridge against the door started to shake, and suddenly the chain lock broke off it.

Jed fell out. "Chill-eeee!" he said. "Wow, who locked me in there? It was a pretty tight space."

"Haha," said Beryl. "I was going to use your weight to help block off the door along with Metalia's.

"HELLPP!" yelled Metalia. "SOMEONE! I'll fuse with you and make you achieve ultimate power!"

"I'm sorry," said Kunzite. "But my hands are tied!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" said Metalia.

Beryl pushed her throne against the door as well. "We all have to make sacrifices," she said sadly.

"Good idea," said Nephrite. He put a box of Honey Maid against the door. "GG!"

"Now, we wait," said Beryl.

They all sat down on the floor.

Nephy pulled out a deck of cards and dealt them each a hand.

"Does anyone have any Beryls?" he asked.

"Go fish," said Kunzite.

"Go fish," said Beryl.

"Go fish," said Zoisite.

"Go fish," said Jadeite.

"HEEEEEEEELP!" yelled Metalia.

"This game sucks," said Nephrite. "And why are all the cards us and Beryl?"

Kunzite looked away. "You didn't have to be mean."

Nephrite fished.

He went through the whole deck.

"Hey, that's cheating!" said Zoisite.

"What is this, Austrian?" asked Nephrite.

"What does that even mean?!" yelled a voice.

"Who said that?" demanded Nephrite.

There was a knock on the door.

Jadeite looked through the peep hole. "Uh oh," he said.

"Who is it?" asked Beryl.

"The hurricane."

Everyone gasped.

They all ran to the corner of the room.

The hurricane started kicking down the door.

Metalia went flying into the wall and cracked open like an egg.

Everyone ran into the other corner, hoping it'd be better.

They made a protective shield out of Honey Maid graham crackers.

"Luckily we have enough to spare," said Zoisite.

"Don't worry," said Kunzite. "It won't get past this impenetrable barrier."

Suddenly they heard the door swing open.

"No..." said Nephrite. "That means the Honey Maid graham cracker box I left there is…"

They waited patiently for five minutes before the attack.

Jadeite slowly slid aside one box of Honey Maid graham crackers to peak out.

The hurricane slipped in their bunker and unlocked the graham cracker box door from the inside.

The graham cracker house fell apart.

"NO!" yelled the Shitennou.

Kunzite quickly put up a dark energy bubble. "This isn't as strong as the graham cracker boxes, so it won't last nearly as long!" he cried.

"I won't let a hurricane defeat me!" yelled Nephrite. "We must stand up and fight! We are the four heavenly kings!"

"Kings of what?" asked Jadeite.

"I'm a queen," said Beryl.

"That's not important!" said Nephrite. "This is about honor!"

"I don't have any of that," said Zoisite. "I traded it for Honey Maid graham crackers."

"That's a shame," said Kunzite. "Alright Nephrite, looks like it's just you and me!"

"Hey, I have honor!" said Jadeite.

Everyone laughed.

"D'ah," said Jed. "Good luck guys."

Kunzite and Nephrite teleported to the core of the hurricane.

Because Kunzite teleported away, his bubble did too, and the rest were instantly assaulted by the category 26.

"I'm coming too!" yelled Jadeite.

He, Zoisite, and Beryl all teleported to join the battle.

Once they got there, they saw it wasn't going well.

"You're no match for the nega-power!" yelled Kunzite, throwing a boomerang into the rapid flowing winds of the 'cane.

"I won't let this hurricane defeat me!"

But the hurricane tossed the boomerangs back like a frisbee.

Kunzite tried to put up his cape in defense, but the hurricane blew it away.

"NO!" he yelled.

"Step aside," said Nephrite. "This is my battle."

He threw a flurry of blows into the wind.

There was an ominous sound of laughter, and then suddenly, the hurricane simultaneously socked Nephrite in the stomach and the head.

Nephrite doubled over in pain. "YEEEEOUCH!" he yelled.

"Hmph," said Jadeite stepping up to the plate. He shot lightning and then flew up into the air.

But the hurricane shot a bolt of lightning from its clouds above.

Jadeite was shocked and dropped to the ground, hair standing on end.

He quickly recovered and flew up again, this time no lightning. He attempted to tackle the hurricane in a single frame of animation, but the hurricane moved at 60 fps. It tackled Jed and he fell into the ocean that was right next to the top of a 20 ft. skyscraper.

A small ball of energy floated to the surface.

"NO!" cried Beryl. "This is personal now!"

She spawned a huge black crystal, yelling, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" and tossed it at the hurricane.

It flung it right back, and she leapt out of the way.

She stood to her feet. "I'm not done yet!" she said. She fired an eternal sleep attack.

The hurricane started to slow down.

"By golly, it's working!" said Kunzite, who was still impaled by his own boomerang.

The hurricane slowly back-handed him, and then sped right back up.

The circular winds rushed around them.

"Aren't you gonna try?" asked Jadeite to Zoisite.

"No," said Zoisite, looking deeply concerned. The hurricane slugged Zoisite across the face, and then it tapped him on the back.

Zoisite turned around, and all he saw was another sock coming his way.

He was thrown into the belly of the storm, spun around for three minutes like a top, and then pile drove into the ground right in front of the other Shitennou.

"Rip," said Nephrite.

"That was nothing," sputtered Zoisite, climbing to his feet.

"You're trembling," said Kunzite.

"No," lied Zoisite.

"I will avenge you!" shouted Kunzite. "This one's for-!"

The hurricane stopped.

"Good job," said Jadeite.

"I didn't do anything," said Kunzite. He looked around confused. "Huh, yeah, it better run!"

"I can't believe it just ended like that," said Beryl. "Whelp, let's go home!"

They stepped back in the Negaverse.

"Whelp, that storm really did some damage to our rock formations," said Beryl, looking at all the smashed stalactites. "Anyway, let's get back to that go fish game."

"Hey look!" said Jed, picking up a box of Honey Maid from the floor. "Looks like a box survived!"

"Yahoo!" cheered the Shitennou. They played go fish for twenty rounds, and each joyfully consumed a single honey maid graham cracker piece.

"All's well that ends well," said Jadeite, eager to end the chapter alive.

Suddenly they heard another knock on their door.

"Wait a second, we don't have a door anymore!" cried Beryl, gesturing to the frame of the Negaverse that remained.

The hurricane rushed in and started throwing slugs left and right at rapid speeds.

"I thought the hurricane ended?!" yelled Zoisite.

"That must have only been the eye!" exclaimed Jed.

"There's an eye?!" asked Zoisite.

But he never got to hear the answer.

They all died, except for Prince Endymion who had fled days before.

"The moral of this story, kids," said Endymio, "Is to always evacuate when the news tells ya' to!"

He de-transformed to Mamoru Chiba and returned to his one room apartment.

He turned on Uncle Grandpa.

But moments before Pizza Steve got in a witty one-liner, an announcement came on.

"Tsunami warning for all of Japan! Evacuate at once!"

"Ha!" said Chiba. "I'm Prince Endymion, champion of the Negaverse. I ain't afraid of no water!"

Prince Endymion was swept to sea moments later by the tsunami, and never heard from again. The only thing that remained of his apartment was the box of Honey Maid graham crackers that was in his cabinet.

FIN