"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Hmm," said Beryl. "I think I've heard of it."

"I didn't say what the source was yet, my queen."

"No, but that energy thing you mentioned. I think I've heard of something like that before."

"Yes," said Jadeite. "That's what you sent me to collect."

"No," said Beryl. "I'm certain I sent you after the Moon Prince."

"I think she's a princess, my queen."

"You have a lot to learn, Jadeite!" yelled Beryl. "Never question me!"

"Ok Beryl," said Jadeite. "I'm off to find that Moon Prince!" he lied.

He left the room.

"Hmm, looks like another day off," he concluded.


"Waka waka waka waka," echoed Jadeite, as he played Pacman aggressively.

"Yes, the banana! A cut-scene's comin' on soon!"

"You're quite good at that game!" said Motoki. "Even I can't get that far!"

Motoki's interruption caused Jed to lose one of his ten lives he had acquired.

He turned to Motoki. "What's your name?" he asked.

"Motoki," said Motoki.

"Oh, hello Motoki," said Jadeite, killing him.

He went back to Pacman.

"Wow, what a hunkster!" said someone suddenly, wrapping their arms around him.

Jed's heart started beating at a rapid pace.

He looked down and nearly fainted. "Wowee, what a beaut!" he said out loud. "What's your name, young one?"

"Minako!" said Minako. "But you can call me Minako-chan!"

"Mmmmmmmm," said Jadeite. "Say, what was that thing you just called me?"

"A hunkster," repeated Minako. "It's another word for a cute guy."

"You… think I'm…"

Jed's face was scarlet red. "Is this love?" he asked out loud again. "It reminds me of the time I first met Beryl!"

"Who's that?" asked Minako.

"No one important," Jadeite blurted out.

Minako looked behind Jed and saw Usagi angrily waving her over.

"Ugh," said Minako. "I gotta go. Catch ya later!"

Jadeite was too speechless to say goodbye. He did not leave that spot.

"Mina!" cried Usagi. "Did you know who that was?!"

"No," said Mina. "Wasn't he cute?"

"Ye-" Usagi started to say but stopped herself. "That doesn't matter! He's Jadeite, of the Dark Kingdom!"

"Who?" asked Minako. "Aren't the only two members of the Dark Kingdom that gay guy who only lasted like a day and Kunzite?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot you came in that late," remembered Usagi. "But that Jadeite's a bad guy."

"Nah, he was a cutie," insisted Mina. "He couldn't hurt a fly."

Jadeite had gone back to furiously playing Pacman. "I'll kill you, Inky!" he shouted, when he lost another life.

"See!" said Usagi. "He's a homicidal maniac!"

"Oh, lighten up," said Minako. "He's just a poor sport."

"Motoki's corpse is laying right next to him!" cried Usagi.

"I know, I saw him kill him," said Minako. "Like I said, he's just a poor sport. Anyway, I guess let's head over to Rei-chan's house to study."

"D'ah," said Usagi. "Just my luck."


Jadeite waited at the arcade patiently for Minako's to return.

"Catch ya later," he repeated in his head. "What is later? Does it matter? I'll wait forever for that blonde beauty!"

Jadeite stayed inside the arcade for eight days and nights because Motoki was dead and unable to close up shop.

A month later, the shop got shut down because no one payed rent. Motoki's sister had to live on the streets. A fast food restaurant was built in the building where the arcade once stood.

Jadeite sat outside and continued to wait.

"Hey Jadeite," said Zoisite. "What's got you down in the dumps?"

Jadeite sighed. "It's this human girl I fell in love with."

"Ah, you've gone the way of the Nephrite," said Zoisite. "Hopefully you don't reach a similar fate." He winked.

"Buzz off, Zoisite! It's my job to find the Silver Crystal!" Jadeite shouted.

Zoisite had a traumatic flashback. "Not again…"

"D'ah, I don't know what came over me," apologized Jadeite. "No need to cry on top of Kunzite now. I'm just frustrated, because I don't know when Minako-chan will return."

"That's a dumb name," said Zoisite. "I'm going home to laugh at you."

"Alright, have fun," said Jadeite.


"Hahahhahaa," laughed Zoisite to Kunzite. "So he's been there for a month waiting for this human girl, all because she said 'Catch ya later!'"

"What a fool," said Kunzite.

"Yes," agreed Zoisite. "And there's more! She has a really stupid name- Minako-chan!"

Kunzite dropped his coffee mug and it splattered on the floor.

"I got you that for Christmas!" cried Zoisite. "What gives?!"

"That name," said Kunzite. "I've heard it before. I must go and meet her."

"Wait what?!" cried Zoisite. "What's going on?! You guys weren't like, a non-canon ship or something in the past?!"

"That's just it," said Kunzite. He teleported away.

"NOOOOO!" screamed Zoisite. "Kunzite's gone straight! I won't let him get away with this!"


"Jadeite," said Kunzite.

"Yes," said Jadeite.

Kunzite socked Jed. "Stay off my girl!" he shouted.

"Is this the dub?" asked Jadeite. "Listen, I wasn't on Zoisite, I promise! He started up with me, or she as you're calling him now…"

"No, I mean Minako-chan!"

Jadeite perked up. "Minako-chan?! Where?!"

Kunzite socked him again.

"I said back off!"

Suddenly Minako walked by. She stopped in her tracks.

"Jadeite, is that you? It's been a while! How are you?"

"What?! I wasn't waiting for you this whole time!" blurted out Jadeite.

"Haha, you're funny!" said Minako. "Are you doing anything later?"

"Wait a second!" said Kunzite. "I bought this ring for you!" he said spawning a ring.

"Who are you?" asked Minako. "Oh wait, you're that guy who beat us all down. You're a bully, and I don't like you!"

"Yeah," said Jadeite. "He just socked me two times!"

"Aww, you poor thing! Let me heal you!" said Minako. She went in for a cheek smooch, but suddenly Rei walked up.

"What's going on here?!" she demanded. "Minako, do you know who that is?!"

"Yes," said Minako. "Usagi told me, and I don't care. This guy a sweetheart."

"You should stay off him!" yelled Rei.

"Why do you care?" asked Minako. "Do you like him or something?"

"Of course not," said Rei. "Does this look like the manga to you? It's just that… it's just that…"

Suddenly she realized she was a lesbian, and that she loved Minako. She couldn't find the words.

"You don't have a reason, so don't interfere!" said Jadeite.

"But Jadeite!" said Rei. "Why do you want my- I mean Minako! Don't you like me?"

"No," said Jadeite. "Does this look like the manga to you?"

Rei was fuming silently.

Jed and Minako walked away hand-in-hand.

"We've got to break them up!" shouted Kunzite.

"Yes!" shouted Rei.

"Yes!" shouted Zoisite.

"AHHHH!" screamed Kunzite. "Where did you come from?"

"I teleported here when you left to chase after Minako."

"It's not what you think," said Kunzite. "I'm gay, I swear!"

"You're looking more bi by the day!" shouted Zoisite. "And when I said we should break them up, I meant we shouldn't break them up. I'll keep them together at all costs! Goodbye!"

"Hmm," said Rei. "After we pry her away from Jed, I think you should go back to that Zoisite guy. You don't love Minako like I do."

"Did you love her in the Silver Millennium?" demanded Kunzite.

"Did you?" retorted Rei.

"I don't remember!" shouted Kunzite. "But there was a non-canon sketch in one of the mangas!"

"I'm pretty sure there was one of me and Minako as well!" said Rei.

"Hmm, that girl really gets around," said Kunzite. "But anyway, we must work together, and then we'll settle our differences later."

"Yes," said Rei. "One step at a time."


Jadeite and Minako went to Crown Parlor that was now called Crown McDonald's as the Crown family no longer owned anything.

"Are you enjoying your milkshake?" asked Jed.

"Yes," said Minako. "What a nice, relaxing date. I'm glad we're doing this, you seem like very cool guy."

"Yes," said Jed. "I don't get as much respect as I deserve. Especially from Beryl."

"You keep bringing up that name," said Minako. "Who is she, your ex?"

"Something like that," said Jadeite.

In the booth on the left side of Jed sat Kunzite and Rei, the unlikely duo.

In the booth on the right side of Jed sat Zoisite.

In the booth to the north of Jed sat Mamoru Chiba, Nephrite and Grandpa.

"What are you doing here?" demanded Zoisite.

"We're just here for the show," said Nephrite, ordering a popcorn from the waiter that wasn't Motoki's sister, because she was living on the streets.

"I'll take one as well," said Mamoru.

Grandpa licked his lips.

"Hmm," said Zoisite, going back to focusing on Kunzite. "When will he make his move?"

Kunzite made his move.

As Jed put his straw in Minako's milkshake, Kunzite detached his fist and fired it like a bullet.

Zoisite leapt in the way and took the hit.

"Zoisite, no!" cried Kunzite. "What are you doing?"

Zoisite was too injured to speak.

"Oh well, I'll use my other fist!"

Kunzite socked Jadeite in the face.

"HEY!" shouted Minako. "You think beating up my date will make me like you?!"

"Yes," said Kunzite going in for a smooch.

Minako backhanded Kunzite.

"Creep!"

Kunzite was stunned.

Rei went in for the Mars Fire Blast at Jed, but Jed tanked it, similar to Nephrite.

"Sometimes you forget how strong I actually am," he reminded her.

"Drat," said Rei.

Jed went to fire back, but Minako stopped him. "Jadeite, she's my friend."

"But I- but she!"

While he was stuttering, Kunzite regained composure and went in for another slug, sending Jed flying across the Crown McDonald's.

But while he was tussling, Rei had already grabbed Minako in her arms and ran for the exit.

"What's going on?!" asked Minako.

Kunzite ran to stop her, but Zoisite stuck his foot out weakly, tripping him, and knocking him out of the race.

"This is no good," said Grandpa. "I'm a Kunako shipper!"

He went the way of the lobster and attacked Rei.

"Grandpa!" cried Rei. "I'm your own granddaughter!"

"No granddaughter of mine will be a lesbian!" yelled Grandpa.

Chad came bursting in and head-butted Grandpa, temporarily stunning him.

"Fool!" cried Grandpa. "I was trying to break them up!"

"No one hurts my Rei!" said Chad. "MY Rei!"

"Let's not go too far now," said Rei.

Chad tore Minako out of her arms and threw her into the wall.

He went in for the pile-driver.

"What did I do to deserve this?!" cried Minako.

Jed leapt to his feet and dropped-kicked Chad before he could finish the assault.

"You won't get away with this!" said Chad to Minako.

Jed caught Minako before she hit the ground and made a break for the exit.

But Kunzite teleported in front of him and pushed him to the floor.

Grandpa got Jed in a full-nelson, and Kunzite threw punches at his exposed stomach.

"Go get her," said Grandpa. "I'll hold him off."

Kunzite snatched Minako, but suddenly Zoisite wildly tackled Kunzite.

"I won't lose this easily!" shouted Zoisite.

Rei sniped Grandpa from the back with a Mars Sniper, taking him out of the brawl.

She went for Jed next, but once again underestimated him.

He tanked the attack, and then picked up the unguarded Minako-chan and dashed out the door and down the street.

"My hero!" said Minako. "I don't know what's wrong with my friend today, and I could have sworn that other guy was gay!"

Jadeite was about to make it off into the sunset with her, when a roadblock blocked his path.

"B-b-b-b—b-b-b-Beryl!" he cried. "You can stand up?!"

"Yes," said Beryl. "And I won't let this girl take you away from me!"

"?" said Jadeite. "But I… but you…!"

"I love you Jadeite," said Beryl.

Jadeite was really conflicted. His childhood friend and the new girl. It was a hard choice.

"I choose…"

But before he could speak, Thetis hit Beryl with a tsunami, flushing her out of the competition.

"Jadeite!" she shouted. "Even though you treat me like a jerk, I still love you!"

"Back off, hag!" said Jadeite.

"No!" said Thetis. "I will never back off! I will follow you to the end of the Earth!"

"Why?!" cried Jadeite. "Take a hint!"

Minako readied her crescent smash at Thetis. "Let's go, bigboy!"

Chad ran up and head-butted Minako, sending her flying.

"Easy does it," said Chad.

She landed in Rei's arms.

"NO!" said Chad. "I made a big mistake!"

Rei took to the skies with her ability she is shown to use very few times.

Nephrite and Mamoru Chiba finally caught up with their cellphone cameras.

"Who's winning?" asked Nephrite.

"I AM!" yelled Jadeite, taking to the skies too.

He summoned a plane, and threw it at Rei and Minako.

"Wait a second, no!" he thought.

But it was too late.

The plane knocked them both unconscious. He tried to grab Minako, but she fell past him too fast. "MINAKOOOOOOO!" he cried.

Kunzite had stumbled to his feet once again.

From the ground, he pulled out his best catching mitt. "I've got you!" he called. "Don't worry!"

But at the last second, Zoisite threw himself at Kunzite like a torpedo, knocking him away.

Minako died from the fall.

"NOOOOO!" howled Jed.

Rei fell seconds later, into Chad's arms.

Chad walked away into the sunset.

"Shyaaa yaa, I win for once!"

Rei woke up a few hours later in his arms.

"No you don't," she said. She fled.

"I'll get her next time," vowed Chad.

Jadeite asked Queen Beryl to revive his bae, but Beryl refused. She was angry with him and since there was no more competition refused to admit her feelings.

Thetis finally took the hint and went home.

Kunzite stumbled up again and shoved Zoisite off him.

"Gosh darn," he said. But then he felt bad for his actions. "Zoisite I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Zoisite threw a backhand his way, but took him back in a couple days.

FIN