"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

Queen Beryl was already in a hot sweat. She checked her watch again. "Where is Kunzite?!" she demanded. "He's already two minutes late! This never happens!"

"I don't know," said Jed. "Maybe he just overslept."

"No, impossible," cried Beryl. "It can't be! Please, no!"

"I don't see the big-"

But Jadeite never got to finish his thought.


Kunzite climbed out of bed. "Something feels off."

He checked the clock.

"NO!" he cried. "I've overslept ten minutes! This can't be!"

He dashed out the door and into Beryl's throne room.

Inside, he found Nephrite sitting on Queen Beryl's throne, using Zoisite as his footrest.

Jadeite was in flames running in circles, and Beryl and Endymion were frozen in blocks of ice.

"NEPHRRIIIIITE!" howled Jed. "I'M ON FIRE!"

"Yes," said Nephrite. "I did that. Kunzite is missing in action, so the Negaverse is MIIIIIINE!"

Kunzite approached Nephrite.

Nephrite spotted him and slapped his knee. "Gosh darn it, fun's over."

Kunzite socked Nephrite into next week.

He helped Zoisite up, blew out Jadeite's fire, and thawed out Queen Beryl.

"Hey, thanks," said Beryl. "Can you unthaw Endymion too?"

"Sorry I can't," said Kunzite. "My hands are tied."

"D'ah," said Beryl.

Kunzite sighed. "What happened?! Every time I'm gone for an extended period of time, Nephrite takes over! But this time I only overslept for ten minutes!"

Jadeite shrugged. "When opportunity knocks, you answer the door."

Kunzite socked Jadeite into next month.

"Why'd you oversleep, anyway?" asked Queen Beryl. "I thought you were more responsible than that! Did your alarm clock break or something?"

"I don't use an alarm clock," explained Kunzite. "Every day for the past 2,000 years, I just knew when to wake up. I'm just that powerful."

"Then what happened today?"

Kunzite started to sweat. "Honestly I don't know."

"Well, we can't risk this happening again," said Beryl. "Go buy an alarm clock. That's an order."

"Yes m'queen," said Kunzite in shame.


"How about this one?" asked Zoisite.

Kunzite pouted. "No!"

"Well you need to get one, so just pick one already."

"NO!" shouted Kunzite. "I don't need one!"

"Are you going to defy Beryl?" mocked Nephrite.

"Shut it!" yelled Kunzite. "This is all your fault! Why are you even here?"

"When opportunity knocks, you answer," explained Nephrite.

Kunzite growled.

Jed nodded.

"Okay," said Zoisite. "How about this-"

Kunzite swatted it to the floor and broke it. He stomped on its ashes.

"I am the great Kunzite of the Dark Kingdom! I don't need an alarm clock!"

"Excuse me," said Rei in a very threatening tone. "Did you just smash that clock to ashes?"

"Oh no," groaned Kunzite. "Not this one again."

The other Shitennou hid behind Kunzite.

"Hello Rei," said Jadeite.

"Watch it," said Rei.

Jed took a step back and watched it.

"Well, you're going to have to pay for that," stated Rei. "By the way I work here now."

"Sorry," said Kunzite. "We don't have any money. We were actually just planning on stealing an alarm clock. But it seems like we got caught in the act."

"Yes," said Rei. "I'm going to call the cops now, okay?"

"Not okay," said Kunzite.

The Shitennou tied her up and threw her in a sack.

"That'll teach an ordinary human to mess with the Great Four!" laughed Kunzite.

They hopped in their car that they had also stolen and headed home.

"Wait, we forgot to get an alarm clock!" remembered Zoisite.

"Nah," said Kunzite. "I didn't want one anyway. Today was a just fluke. I promise I'll be up 20 minutes early tomorrow."

"Okay…" said Zoisite nervously. "I don't want to end up as Nephrite's footrest again…"

"You don't need to worry," assured Kunzite.


Kunzite awoke the next morning.

"Ahh, I love seeing the Negasun shine through my Negawindow on a beautiful Negamorning."

Only, the Negasun wasn't shining through his window.

"What… what time is it?!" cried Kunzite.

He checked his clock. He had overslept for one hour.

"NOOOOO!" he cried.

He ran into Beryl's throne room.

"WHAT?! NO!"

Jadeite was a pile of ashes. Zoisite was just a corpse. Queen Beryl was a disembodied head.

"WHAT?! NO!" Kunzite repeated.

"Heh heh," chuckled Nephrite on Beryl's throne. "I win again!"

Kunzite charged Nephrite and disposed of him.

He looked back at the horror scene.

"AHHHH!" he screamed.


He woke up.

"Woah," he said, gasping for breath. "That was a bad dream! But good thing it was just that- a dream."

He looked at the clock. He had overslept for one hour.

"NOOOOO!" he cried.

He dashed into Beryl's throne room, and the scene was no different than before.

The only minor change was that this time, Jadeite was the disembodied head, and by default, that meant that Beryl was the pile of ashes.

"Oogly boogly," said Nephrite, giving away that this was another dream.

Kunzite disposed of him anyway.

Kunzite was about to wake up, but he had too much Negapower and was able to stay in the dream.

"I have to get to the bottom of this!" he decided. "In addition to controlling when I wake up, I was also able to control my dreams! I won't stand for this!"

Kunzite knew where to go.

"Well well well, if it isn't my old pal Helios," said Kunzite, making air-quotes around "old pal."

Helios gasped. He transformed into Pegasus and took to the skies.

"Hey, get back here!" howled Kunzite.

He took off on foot after Pegasus as he tried rapidly to fly away.

After 20 minutes of chasing, Kunzite had a burst of strength, and leapt up and grabbed Pegasus by the hoof, tossing him to the floor. He did a pile-driver on his exposed torso.

Pegasus coughed and turned back into Helios.

"What do you want, my boy?" Helios asked.

"I want the Silver Imperium Crystal!"

"Well, I can't get you that. Not even in your dreams."

"Oops, sorry," said Kunzite. "That's a demand for someone else. What I want is for you to stop giving me dreams of oversleeping, so that I don't oversleep!"

"It was all in good fun," explained Helios.

Kunzite was mad. He was actually livid.

He picked up scrawny Helios by the neck. "Do you want to say that again, bigboy?"

"It… it… was all in good-"

Kunzite snapped him like a twig.

"No!" cried Pegasus's dream form as it evaporated. "You don't realize what you just did!"

"I've heard that one before," scoffed Kunzite.

"I'm the only one protecting the sweet dreams of the people of Earth!" Pegasus exclaimed.

"And that affects me why?" asked Kunzite.

"But… but I!"

Pegasus's dream form faded as well.

"Hmph," said Kunzite.

The Amazon Trio watched it all go down from around the corner.

"We're free!" they exclaimed.

They fled the dream world and finally became real humans.

Kunzite bent down and picked up Helios's remains.

"What's this shiny gold thing? Aha!"

Kunzite stashed in his pocket and went back to sleep.


Kunzite awoke suddenly and checked his pocket. "As I thought, it's still there! Aha!"

He checked the clock. "NO!"

He was one minute late. It wasn't much, but it was enough time for Nephrite to take over yet again.

He dashed towards Beryl's throne room, and in front of him, he saw Nephrite dashing at equal velocity.

He couldn't quite catch up to the speed of Nephrite's determination.

Just as Nephrite leapt at Queen Beryl, Kunzite shot a blast and knocked him out of commission.

"Good job!" said Beryl. "I'm glad you've got your sleep schedule back in order! But next time, don't cut it so close."

"Yes m'queen," said Kunzite. "By the way, I happened upon this last night."

He handed Queen Beryl the Golden Crystal.

"What… what is this?!" gasped Beryl.

"It's the Golden Crystal!" Kunzite said triumphantly. "It might be as powerful as the Silver Crystal, and even if it's not, it will be enough to allow Metalia to revive and take her ultimate form!"

Beryl examined the crystal closely.

"Kunzite, this isn't silver! Or imperial!"

"Yes," said Kunzite. "It isn't silver, it's a different crystal. But it's just about as strong!"

Queen Beryl shook her head. "No, no, no! We need the silver one!"

"Queen Beryl, you're being too close-minded! While I realize it's not that exact color, it holds enough power-"

"I don't care!" shouted Beryl. "This one is not compatible with Metalia. Only silver ones are compatible with Metalia."

"What if we paint it?" asked Kunzite.

"Hmm," said Beryl. "I don't think that's enough to fool Metalia."

"But-"

Beryl threw away the crystal. "We have no use for that."

"D'ah," said Kunzite.

Suddenly Jed pranced in. "Queen Beryl! How are you doing?"

"I'm good," said Queen Beryl.

"Oh hey, Kunzite!" said Jadeite. "Glad you got your sleep schedule fixed!"

Kunzite went to blast Jadeite into next year, but decided to just take the compliment.

Suddenly, Jadeite remembered something. "Umm… Kunzite? Can we step outside for a moment?"

Kunzite was confused but obliged.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Remember yesterday when we tied that girl up, put her in a sack, and then put her in the trunk?"

"Oh yeah," recalled Kunzite. "What ever happened with that?"

"I think she's still in there," said Jed.

"Oh boy," groaned Kunzite. "Let's just take the sack out and toss it in the ocean then. I don't want to make this a bigger deal than it has to be."

Kunzite and Jed walked over to the trunk of the car, and Kunzite popped it open.

"Huh?" gasped Jadeite. "She's gone!"

"But how?" pondered Kunzite.

Suddenly they were both nailed with a Mars Fire Ignite.

"You jerks!" shouted Sailor Mars. "You kept me in there for 28 hours! I'm filing a police report for sure, got it?"

"Don't got it," said Kunzite, about to put her back in the sack. "Hey wait a minute, you're not the girl we trapped in the car! Unless…"

"Kunzite," began Jadeite.

"Quiet Jadeite, I'm about to make the greatest discovery yet! Just let me put the pieces together."

Kunzite tried to put two puzzle pieces together, but they just wouldn't fit.

"Yo," said Jadeite. "You do realize that back in season one I found out that Rei was Sailor Mars, Usagi was Sailor Moon, and that other one."

"Wh- wh h- wh hwat?!" sputtered Kunzite. "Jadeite, why didn't you tell anyone?!" he howled. "Literally my whole arc was looking for Sailor Moon!"

"Well golly, I really tried to," said Jadeite. "But Beryl killed me before I could! I guess she was more confident in you guys than she should have been, huh?"

Kunzite slugged Jadeite into next chapter.

"As for you," he began, turning to Rei.

Rei was gone.

"NO!" cried Kunzite.

A few days later Rei filed charges on Kunzite and he had to pay a large fine.

FIN