"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite over the phone. "I found a new source of energy!"

"No phone calls in the court," said Galaxia.

"Sorry," said Beryl. She hung up on Jed.

They heard Jed yell from outside the courtroom.

Galaxia sighed. "Taiki, who's next?"

Nephrite shuffled his cards that Beryl wrote for him. "This will be a breeze," he thought.

Taiki took note of this. "I call Evil Endymion to the stand."

Beryl let out a shriek. "He is MIIIIIINE!"

Evil Endymion sauntered forward.

Beryl bit her nails as fast as a chipmunk chews its nut.

Kenji was drenched in sweat. He dried himself with a towel.

"Hello," said Taiki.

"What do you want?" barked Mamoru.

"Hey watch it," said Taiki. "So, why do they call you Evil Endymion?" he asked.

"We're done for," stated Beryl.

"No," said Kenji.

Beryl waited for him to say something reassuring but he didn't.

"Well," said Evil Endymion. "It all started when she kidnapped me after that lowlife Zoisite killed me."

Everyone turned to Zoisite, and he shrugged.

"Objection!" cried Beryl. "I objected to this!"

"You shouldn't even be making objections," said Galaxia.

"Objection!" said Kenji. "She objected to this!"

Galaxia was stumped. "Sustained. Move on, Taiki."

"Yes," said Taik. "So you woke up missing your tuxedo, correct?"

"That is correct," said Tuxedo.

"Good," said Beryl. "They're going off track."

"Who do you think took it off you?" asked Taiki. "Did this make you feel violated?"

"Kunzite," answered Tuxedo Mask. "He just wanted to see how buff I was, and he was disappointed to find that I was actually almost double as muscular as he was."

"OOOOOOBJECTION!" yelled Kunzite. "He's bending the question to attack me personally!"

"Objection!" said Mizuno. "You're just in the stands. Stop interrupting this case! Same goes for you, Beryl!" she added.

"Objection!" said Kenji. "Beryl is innocent!"

Mizuno waited for him to say something, but he did not.

Galaxia ignored them.

"Anyway," said Taiki. "Did Beryl force you to be evil, attack your friends, and subject you to unsafe working conditions?"

"Yes," said Endymion. "But the worst part was when she forced me to train that Kunzite guy! Did you know he uses humans to do his dirty work? Heh heh."

"OBJECTION!" shouted Kunzite. "He's attacking me again! And also most of what he says is a lie!"

"Get out of my courtroom," said Galaxia.

"NooooOOO!" cried Kunzite. "Don't make me go out there with Jed! I'll behave, I'll behave!"

"Alright," said Galaxia. "But I'm watching you."

"Hey!" shouted Jed dashing into the room. "You didn't give me a second chance!"

He was hauled out instantly and tossed into the wall.

"Enough of this," said Taiki. "He just said that Beryl did all those terrible things!"

"Hmm," said Galaxia. "I'm more interested in his feud with this Kunzite fellow. That was more interesting than the plot of those episodes!"

"Good, good!" thought Beryl. "Let them be distracted!"

"But I-" began Taiki.

"Shut your mouth!" yelled Galaxia. "Whose courtroom is this?"

"Yours," said Taiki angrily.

"That's right," said Galaxia. "Now if you don't want me to blow up your planet then watch it."

"Yes," said Taiki.

"Kenji, get on with your next witness!" shouted Galaxia.

"Wait!" said Evil Endymion. "One more thing! Beryl forced me into marriage with her and also raided my entire kingdom as a young boy and killed me and Princess Serenity!"

Kenji went to object but he had no objection. He was in a hot sweat.

The jury was in a warm sweat. They wrote vigorously on their notepads.

"Alright, that's all," said Taiki, escaping while he still had the upper-hand.

"This case looks like it's nearly concluded," stated Galaxia.

That made Kenji sweat even more. He started to take his clothes off.

"Stop it!" yelled Beryl.

Kenji put on lighter clothes and started to panic.

"I call Shingo to the stand!"

"WHO?!" cried Beryl.

"Tr-trust me," Kenji stuttered, shaking like a leaf.

Shingo threw down his DS angrily. "What do you want, old man?"

"Son, don't you want that new Sailor V game?"

"Objection!" cried Dr. Mizuno. "Bargaining!"

"I'll bargain you in the chops!" said Kenji.

"GAlaaxiiaaa-sama!" howled Mizuno.

But Galaxia wasn't paying attention.

"Come along, me boy," said Kenji, gesturing towards the seat.

Shingo groaned and hopped up to the witness booth.

"Now who is this?" asked Galaxia.

"Just an old comrade of ours," said Kenji. "Now, Shingo, is it? What's your opinion on Queen Beryl?"

"That old hag? I think she should eat a brick!" said Shingo.

"Shingo!" cried Kenji. "That wasn't in the script!"

The jury gasped.

"Heh heh…" said Kenji nervously. "Now Shingo me boy. Would I ever lie to you?"

"Yes," said Shingo.

"ShingoOOOOO!" shouted Kenji. "That is all."

Shingo did not move. "This is my seat now. Go to hell."

"Shingo," warned Kenji, blowing a gasket. "Please go home."

"Buzz off, old man!" shouted Shingo.

"Move," said Galaxia.

"You wanna rumble, hag?" demanded Shingo.

"What did you just call me?" asked Galaxia.

"You're a hag bag, fag!" said Shingo.

Galaxia levitated Shingo out of the chair.

"What did you just call me?" she asked again.

"FAAAAAAAAAAG!" shouted Shingo. "FAG FAG FAGGETY FAG! Times 99999999999999!"

"Shingo, no!" yelled Kenji.

But it was too late.

Galaxia concluded Shingo's story.

Kenji was devastated but he didn't know how to express it, so he sat back down.

"What are you doing?" asked Beryl.

"Mourning my lil turd," said Kenji sadly.

"No," said Beryl. "I mean calling up that joke of a witness!"

"Well I wasn't going to call up Nephrite," he said. "You told me not to, remember?"

"Oh right," said Beryl. "Carry on."

Nephrite, who was a couple seats away, continued to shuffle his cards. "I am so ready!"

"Now then," said Taiki. "My ace in the hole!"

"Hmm," said Beryl. "He couldn't possibly call up Metalia… she'd slaughter him!"

"I call…"

Everyone waited.

"The ghost of Queen Serenity!"

"NO!" screamed Beryl.

Kenji started to drown in his sweat.

The ghost of Queen Serenity hovered in.

"Now, ghost of Queen Serenity," began Taiki. "Explain your fate please."

"Well," began ghost of Q.S.

"Objection!" yelled Kenji randomly.

"Calm yourself," said Galaxia.

"But wait!" said Kenji. "Can't only people testify?"

"That is true," said Galaxia.

"Well it appears to me that the witness is not alive. This is probably just some clever trick with mirrors!"

"Drat," said Mrs. Mizuno holding a finger puppet up to a mirror.

"Aha!" said Galaxia. "Get out of my court!"

"NO!" cried Mizuno. "It was our ace in the hole!"

"Get oouuuut!" screamed Galaxia.

"Give me a second chance," begged Mizuno.

"Ok," said Galaxia.

"I would like to cross-examine the witness!" hollered Kenji.

"Calm down," said Beryl.

"Go ahead," said Galaxia.

"Unfortunately," said Mrs. Mizuno. "Our witness has to leave!"

"No," said Galaxia. "He's allowed to cross-examine!"

Mizuno broke her mirror. "Drat!" she said.

"Hmm," said Galaxia. "Looks like Kenji gets 10 free points."

"Yeehaw!" said Kenij. But then he went back to panicking knowing that he would have to call up a witness.

"Defense calls Kenji to the stand!" yelled Kenji.

Beryl bopped him on the head.

"I mean, umm… um… umm…"

Nephrite raised his hand.

"I call Grandpa to the stand!"

"Whose Grandpa?" asked Galaxia. "My Grandpa? Rei's Grandpa?"

"Correct," stammered Kenji.

G-Pa Hino hopped onto the stand. Unfortunately he was so short, they had to put a phonebook under him.

"Now, Mr. Hino," began Kenji.

"I have to come clean," said Granpda. "I know everyone was expecting a show, but I came with none. I'm all out of ideas."

"Huh?!" asked Kenji.

"Every time you see ol' Grandpa, you expect comedy, but there will be none today, as I did not prepare a routine. You see, what you may think is spontaneously goofy behavior is actually well-thought out and rehearsed material. It takes me hours and hours just for a single appearance in a chapter. Today, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm sorry."

"Oh," said Kenji sadly. "No further questions."

"JK!" said Grandpa. "Now about that Queen Beryl! She is one bad guy!"

"Grandpa!" yelled Beryl. "WHY?!"

"I was just a poor innocent old man. Then one day Beryl turned me into a lobster. A nega-lobster no less!"

The jury gasped.

"Alright that's it," said Grandpa. He hopped on a tricycle and pedaled away. "So long!"

Beryl hung her head. "I'm gonna miss living," she said.

Kenji was a stuttering mess when he returned. Beryl was no better.

"Alright, my last witness!" exclaimed Taiki. "The prosecutor calls Metalia, Beryl's manager to the stand."

"METALIA-SAMA!" cried Beryl with glee. "She'll get me out of this!"

"Oh no!" cried Kenji. "No she won't!"

"Why not?!" asked Beryl.

"Because this isn't sub Metalia! This is sassy dub Metalia!"

"NOOOO!" screamed Beryl.

"So," said Taiki. "Tell me about Beryl."

"She's nearly as incompetent as her minions," stated sassy dub Metalia.

"Darnit!" said Beryl. "She didn't say anything like this in the sub!"

"And is it true you should have abandoned her, but you gave her one last chance?" asked Taiki.

"YEEEES!" screamed sassy dub Metalia. "There will be no universe, only the Negaverse!"

"Hmm," said Taiki. "So Beryl-"

Metalia cut him off. "The Negaforce will be mine! All mine! The universe will crumple under my boot of destiny! And I, Queen Negaforce of the Negaverse-"

"No further questions," said Taiki.

Metalia walked away despite her no feet.

Galaxia let out a loud yawn. "Your last witness, Kenji."

Kenji was now just a puddle. A court staff member slipped on him and sued the court for all that had. But that was another story.

"Kenji?" repeated Galaxia.

"Come on!" cried Beryl. "This is our last shot!"

Nephrite went to step forward.

"MEEEELVIN!" shouted Kenji. "You're our last hope! Don't let us down!"

"I won't," promised Melvin appearing in a flash.

"Who is this guy?" asked Beryl.

"He was once your Shitennou," stated Kenji. "He's also the perfect match for my daughter, Sailor Moon, AKA the Moon Princess."

"Sorry, I don't know what any of that means," said Beryl. "That's Kunzite's job."

"Wait, Usagi Tsukino is…" began Kunzite, but he couldn't put the pieces together and eventually forgot what he had been thinking about.

Kenji stepped forward.

"So Melvin Gurio, where were you-"

"HEY!" yelled Galaxia. "HEY YOU!"

"Me?" asked Kenji.

"No," said Galaxia. "That suspicious blond man in the overcoat! What's your name?"

"Umm… Jay Dite?" said Jadeite hiding in the stands.

"Hey, I threw you out!" screamed Galaxia.

Jadeite made a break for it, and Galaxia's guards chased after him.

"Say," said Kenji, who had still been interrogating Melvin. "If all of Galaxia's guards are chasing Jadeite, who's defending Galaxia?"

"Excuse me?" said Galaxia.

"THIS IS FOR BERYL!" cried Kenji. He leapt up and socked Galaxia, sending her tumbling to the floor and off her stand.

"NOW'S OUR CHANCE!" cried Kenji. "LET'S LEG IT!"

"But what about the trial?!" asked Beryl. "We might have won!"

"NOoooooOOOOOO!" said Kenji. "Now flee, quick!"

Queen Beryl hopped on Kenji's back and Kenji sprinted out the door. Beryl's entourage followed.

"Hey, stop them!" yelled Galaxia to the jury.

But before they could stand up, Grandpa leapt into the jury and started throwing punches.

They all got distracted and fought it out amongst each other.

"HEEEEEEY!" cried Galaxia. She wished she could pursue the escapees, but unfortunately she had become one with the stand.

"What about Grandpa?" asked Beryl to Kenji.

"Don't worry," said Grandpa. "That was just a decoy! Run faster!"

They leapt out of the courtroom window and stole a spaceship.

Just as they were boarding it, Jadeite came dashing towards them, followed by a mob of guards.

In a rare moment of compassion, Beryl put him in a bubble and warped him inside. She took off.

"Wow," said Beryl, flabbergasted. "That was a close one!"

Suddenly a loud blast hit their spaceship.

"What the-" began Kenji.

He turned to see Dr. Mizuno and Taiki on a spaceship that was hot on their tail.

"Damn!" said Kenji. "Good thing I took that piloting class instead of that lawyer class!"

He shoved Beryl off the controls. "I've got one shot at this!"

Kenji suddenly turned the ship sharply to the right.

Taiki did not turn in time, and he and Ami's mom plummeted into an asteroid belt, never to be seen again.

"Hooray!" said Beryl. "I live until Galaxia comes and raids the Earth! All because of my great lawyer, Kenji!"

But it was the Shitennou's turn to speak up.

"Actually," said Jadeite. "I think that was a because of me. I just wanted to watch the case, and I indirectly caused the riot that led to our escape!"

"Yes," agreed Nephrite, Kunzite, and Zoisite. "Jadeite was the hero of this story!"

Jadeite gushed.

"Wow," said Beryl. "I didn't think about it that way."

She tossed Jadeite a slug. "Don't ever embarrass me in public again!"

"D'ah," said Jadeite.

Beryl whipped out her whip and starting whipping them, Kenji and Grandpa included.

Melvin was hiding in the corner but he was spotted and also dragged into the slugging.

"And don't ever cause me to go to court again!" she howled.

"I didn't do anything!" cried Kenji.

"Oh well," said Beryl. "You're part of the crew now!"

"This is the happiest day of my life!" said Kenji as he was clobbered.

"Hmph," scoffed a voice. "You're as incompetent as your minions."

Beryl spun around and threw a whip. But it went right through the figure like it was a gas.

Metalia narrowed her huge eyes.

She disposed of Beryl.

"Kenji," she said. "You're the new Beryl!"

"Okey dokey!" said Kenji. "From this day fourth, Chad will be the new Queen Beryl, and I'll be the new Metalia-sama!"

"NOOOOO!" said Metalia fading away.

"Haha," said Chad. "I am Queen Beryl."

Galaxia appeared on the ship. "That's all I needed to hear."

She killed Chad and flew away into the sun.

"That was a close one," said Kenji.

FIN