"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

Beryl spit out her rice crispy treat. "Who said you could come in here?!"

"You told me to report my new source today at 10:03am," said Jadeite sadly.

"You have a lot to learn," explained Beryl.

Jadeite nodded sadly in agreement. "That is true I'm afraid."

Suddenly Kenji, Nephrite, and Zoisite entered the room

"Queen Beryl!" howled Kenji. "These teenagers won't leave me alone!"

"Is that true, boys?" demanded Beryl. "You ought to know better than to harass poor Kenji!"

"WHAT?! NO!" howled Nephrite. "That's what we came here to talk to you about! This old man is following us everywhere and telling us to donate to help him pay for Shingo's braces!"

"Queen Beryl," said Kenji. "My lil' boy needs straighter teeth. Would you like to make a donation?"

"Of course, Kenji!" Beryl pulled out her wallet and gave Kenji a twenty.

Kenji kept his hand extended. "Braces are $1,000," he said angrily.

"Nephrite, do you have any money?" Beryl asked.

"Yes but I planned on using this money on the snack machine by Jadeite's house," Nephrite explained looking in his wallet.

Beryl took his wallet with her psychic powers and dumped the 500 single bills into Kenji's hands.

Kenji's hands remained extended. He was waiting but he was getting inpatient.

"Zoisite!" howled Beryl. "Do your part!"

"I don't have any money," stated Zoisite.

"What's that in your pocket?!" demanded Beryl using her money vision powers.

"Kunzite's money," explained Zoisite. "Not mine sorry."

Beryl opened her mouth like a vacuum and absorbed the money and handed it to Kenj.

"Arigato!" said Kenji, bowing. "I'm off."

"I hope Shingo enjoys his braces!" called Beryl as Kenji left.

He did not turn around or reply.

Kunzite teleported in moments later.

"Hey boys"

"Kunzite! That guy who hangs around the Negaverse stole all your money!"

"WHAT?! NO!"

"Zoisite!" yelled Beryl. "He didn't steal it! It was a donation to buy his son braces! Do the right thing every now and then, huh?!"

Kunzite glared at Beryl. "You do realize he's using it to buy a toaster, right?"

"At least he didn't take my money" said Jadeite

"You have no money after that time with the gym and also that time with the boat," reminded Beryl.

"That boat was just an illusion!" Jadeite tried to explain

"Yeah right," scoffed Beryl. "Kunzite, what was that about a toaster…?"

"Everyone knows Kenji doesn't care about Shingo," Kunzite groaned.

The other three gasped coming to realization.

"Everyone knows that Kenji's favorite meal is toast," continued Kunzite "So it isn't hard to believe that he would spend the money on a toaster!"

Beryl started to sputter. "But that would mean… No! No way Kenji would ever lie to me!"

The Shitennou looked at each other.

"What should we do?" asked Jed. "Kenji is all Beryl has left…!"

"We can't let that punk keep manipulating her!" insisted Nephrite. "That sick bastard doesn't care about anything but himself! He's an outright psychopath!"

Suddenly they heard Kenji outside the throne room.

"Guess what! I just copped tons of money from Beryl! What a fool she is ho ho ho!"

"Good work, Kenji," complemented Endymion. "What are you gonna spend the dough on?"

Kenji laughed. "What do you think, ho ho? A new toaster! Hohohohoho!"

Beryl's world was shattered in two.

The Shittenou nervously exchanged glances.

"If you'll excuse me, I've got some thinking to do." Beryl walked away without saying anything more.

She walked into her chambers and sat on her room throne.

"Kenji…" she whispered. "Kenji….."


"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite at Beryl's door. "I found a new source of energy!"

Beryl did not reply.

"QUEEN BERYL!" yelled Jadeite. "I FOUND A-"

Beryl slammed open the door sending Jadeite flying into the abyss.

He teleported back up, panting. "Queen Beryl! I found-"

Beryl slammed the door shut.

The other three Shittenou arrived at Beryl's door.

"So…" began Nephrite. "Does this mean we don't have to do work?"

"Nephrite!" yelled Jadeite. "We always have to do work! It is our duty!"

"Nephrite hasn't worked a day in his life!" taunted Zoisite.

"What part of, not my arc yet did you not understand?!" howled Neph.

"Let's all go to Vegas," suggested Kunzite.

Suddenly Beryl emerged from her room. No one could see her eyes because there was a shadow, but no one was sure where it was coming from.

"I think she is upset" whispered Jadeite

"Yes, can't you tell from the shadow blocking her eyes?" Nephrite, being very familiar with anime, whispered back.

Beryl cleared her throat angrily. "There are going to be some changes around here, due to some recent events you might be aware of."

"Is this about Kenji?" asked Zoisite.

Beryl ended Zoisite.

Kunzite didn't try to argue because he knew what Zoisite did was foolish.

"If I ever hear that word spoken again," said Beryl softly but dangerously.

"What, Kenji?" asked Jadeite.

Beryl wiped Jed off the face of the Negaverse.

"Any more questions?"

Nephrite and Kunzite shook their heads.

"First order of business," she continued as if nothing had happened. "The snack machine will stop functioning after business hours."

Nephrite fell to his knees. "WHAT?! NO! That's the only time I use it! WHY, Queen Beryl?!"

"Secondly, no being gay!"

It was Kunzite's turn to become enraged. "That's discrimination!"

Zoisite was so shocked that he suddenly came back to life. "I won't stand for this!"

Queen Beryl ignored their pleas. "In addition, no more saying the following words: 'I,' 'found,' 'a,' 'new,' 'source,' 'of,' or 'energy.' If I hear any of those words you will sleep outside for one month.

Jadeite respawned in shock as well. "I… I don't understand!" he cried.

Queen Beryl tossed him into the arctic for saying 'I.'"

"This is an outrage!" howled Nephrite.

Beryl tossed Nephrite into the arctic.

"I SAID 'AN' NOT 'A'!" he yelled banging on the door.

"Same thing," said Beryl.

Kunzite and Zoisite looked at each other, trying to find a way to ask Beryl to back off.

She threw them out into the arctic.

"I said no being gay!" she howled.

"What will we do now?" asked Jadeite climbing out of the snow.

Beryl threw a book out the window nailing Jed. "This is the rest of the rules. Read up on them because there will be a quiz on it tomorrow!"
Nephrite opened the book and read some rules. "WHAT IS THIS, AUSTRALIAN RULESSSSSSS?!"

"Nephrite, no!" cried Jed. "The book specifically says we're not allowed to ask if this is Australian rules!"

"THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPRESS MY BEWILDERMENT?!" he howled furiously.

"What a shame," said Zoisite sadly. "Looks like it's finally time to kill Queen Beryl."

"That's not an option," said Kunzite. "With the loss of… you know who, she's become too bloodlusted for me to defeat. All of her feats have been multiplied by 100!"

"What feats?" asked Jadeite.

Kunzite gasped. "Jadeite! You're not allowed to use feats when comparing two characters anymore! It's in the rule book."
"Then how are we supposed to compare characters in hypothetical battles?!" demanded Nephrite. "That's what I do while I'm waiting at the vending machine!"

"Really?" asked Zoisite. "Then you must know that OPM could beat Goku."

"WHAT?!" howled Nephrite. "One Punch Man is a gag character! He's not even a planet buster! Goku however is probably a galaxy buster in his god form!"

"No," said Zoisite. "I'm going to need some proof of that. Anime doesn't count!"

Nephrite pulled out his manga collection. "Here we go. In Dragon Ball Super volume 8, page 59-"

Queen Beryl appeared and killed Nephrite. "I said no comparing feats!"

She turned to the others. "Let Nephrite's fate be a warning. You all better study for that quiz tomorrow, or else I'll erase you permanently!"

"Metalia will just revive us," noted Jadeite to the others.

"No," said Queen Beryl. "It says in the rules that you can't revive anyone. Metalia wouldn't dare break a rule!"

"Wait," said Kunzite. "So you're holding Metalia to these rules as well?"

"Yes," said Beryl.

"Interesting," said Kunzite. "Interesting…"

"Say that one more time and you're dead, check the rules!" howled Beryl. She teleported away.

"Does this mean Nephrite is gone for good?" asked Zoisite giddily.

"I'm afraid so," said Jadeite.

"Wow, I finally killed Nephrite. GG."

"Be careful, Zoisite," warned Kunzite. "Some might call that a feat. Don't speak of it again."

"Don't worry," said Zoisite. "Everyone knows I'm featless."

"Not necessarily," said Kunzite trying to make him feel better. "You overpowered Tuxedo Mask in a battle of pure strength. Not only that, you even took Grandpa down on only your second try! Further-"

"No Kunzite, I have no feats!" cried Zoisite, worried for Kunzite's life.

"What about that time you defeated Motoki and-"

Beryl hit Kunzite's off-button and he was no more.

"NO!" cried Zoisite. "I tried to stop him! Beryl, that didn't count! Those weren't real feats, really!"

"Zoisite," said Beryl. "What did it say in the rulebook about addressing me?"

Zoisite yelped. "Sorry Queen Beryl-sama."

"Hmph," said Beryl. She left again.

"Jadeite, we gotta finish her off so Metalia could revive Kunzite!"

"And Nephrite!" recalled Jadeite.

"Eh, I- I mean- uhhh!" Zoisite started panicking because he remembered he couldn't say I. "Jadeite," said Zoisite. "Do you remember the words you cannot say?"

"Yes," said Jadeite. "I remember."

"JADEITE!" howled Zoisite. Zoisite looked around, but did not see Beryl.
"Her enforcement of the rules seem to be inconsistent. We can use this to our advantage."

"So what's the plan?" asked Jed.

"First we're gonna read this rule book inside and out, and we'll find some loopholes," said Zoisite.

"Then what?" asked Jed.

"Then we'll get to live another day and someday make the plan maybe!"

"Sounds good," said Jadeite.

They went their separate ways.


Jadeite and Zoisite reported to Beryl's throne room.

"Queen Beryl!" howled Jadeite.

"NO!" cried Zoisite, covering Jadeite's mouth.

"Wow, thanks," said Jadeite. "Jadeite was about to say every bad word in order!"

"Zoisite doesn't want to be left alone with Beryl," said Zoisite.

Beryl narrowed her eyes. "You two are treading on thin ice. So what do you have to report?"

Jadeite stared blankly. "Jadeite… discovered… the… latest…"

He turned to Zoisite. "What's another word for… you know, the 's' word that's in my daily announcement?"

Zoisite thought for a moment. "We have nothing to report, Queen Beryl-sama!"

"Ok, then take a seat at the desks," said Beryl.

"What are we doing?" asked Jadeite.

"The quiz, remember?"

"Shit," said Jadeite. "Jadeite forgot to read the book. Zoisite, can Jadeite cop some answers?"

"No wandering eyes," said Beryl. "That's a rule in the book. Now put your cellphones in the bin."

"I don't have one," said Jadeite.

Beryl looked at him. He realized what he did.

Beryl tossed Jadeite out into the arctic.

Zoisite pulled out his Android phone to put in the bin.

"What is this?" demanded Beryl.

Zoisite went to begin with 'a' but could not. "My Android phone," he stated. "It is much better than Apple so it is the company to go with."

Beryl tossed Zoisite out into the arctic.

"Right," recalled Zoisite. "The rulebook said that Apple is better than Android."

Beryl tossed their desks outside and they both hit Jed.

"If you don't get 100%, it's game over!" she called.

Jadeite stared at the quiz.

"This is tough," he thought.

He read the first question in his head. "No eating fruits from _ pm to _ pm, except for green apples."

"Shit," thought Jadeite. "It's free response! I thought it would be a multiple choice!"

Beryl swooped down from above and tossed Jadeite further into the arctic. "No thinking 'I,' either!"

"Drat," said Jed. "Oh well, Jadeite guesses he will just wing this quiz like he did in high school. But gosh, each question is like taking shots in the dark!"

"No metaphors!" howled Beryl, tossing him further into the arctic.

"Actually that was a simile!"

"No saying 'a!'" reminded Beryl, tossing him back to his desk.

"Thank you," said Jadeite.

"Only five minutes left!" shouted Beryl.

Zoisite was working diligently but Jadeite had not gotten far.

Zoisite looked over, and by Jadeite's forlorn expression, he could tell that Jadeite had taken his final bow.

"Jadeite is a candle flicking in the wind," thought Zoisite sadly.

Beryl tossed him for the metaphor but he had already finished the test.

Beryl collected his quiz and then went for Jadeite.

"Wait!" said Jadeite. "I'm not done!"

Beryl tossed him and took the quiz. "I'll have them graded in a few minutes!" called Beryl.

Jadeite conveniently landed next to Zoisite.

"Oww," said Jed. "Say, what percent did we need to get on that quiz again?"

"100," said Zoisite.

"Maybe she's grading it off the questions we completed," thought Jadeite hopelessly.

Beryl teleported them into her throne room.

She scanned Jadeite's paper for five seconds.

"Jadeite," said Beryl. "You didn't complete all the questions."

"I'm sorry, Queen Beryl-sama," said Jadeite.

Beryl ended Jadeite.

"Zoisite," said Beryl. "You slipped by, barely getting a 100."

Zoisite sighed in relief.

"There will be a quiz tomorrow on the new rules book," reminded Beryl. "Be sure to study."

"Yes, Queen Beryl-sama," said Zoisite.

He left Queen Beryl's throne room and dashed towards Metalia.

"She's our only hope!" he thought desperately.

As he ran, he spotted a stop sign.

"What the hell?" he thought and kept running.

He turned around and saw Beryl soaring after him. "You broke a rule!" she yelled. "You must always stop at stop signs! PUNISHMENT IS DEATH!"

Zoisite knew it was all or nothing so he decided to give Beryl a piece of his mind.

"Beryl!" he barked. "I'm not afraid of you! Your only feat was putting a crippled Jadeite into eternal sleep, and not even killing me right away with a blast after I got hit with the Moon Wand!"

Beryl's eyes were blood-lusted.

"It's over, Zoisite!" she yelled. "Just accept your death!"

"NEEEEEEEEEEVER!" howled Zoisite.

"No howling!" yelled Beryl. "That's three death sentences!"

Zoisite knew he wouldn't be able to keep running at this speed without catching his breath, so he thought fast and shot a burst of light, blinding Beryl.

He leapt into the second nearest closet and shut the door, panting.

Zoisite was about to let out a sigh of relief, when he heard footsteps.

"Oh no, oh man," he thought in a hot sweat.

Beryl opened up the door.

Zoisite buried himself in the coats.

Beryl took one look around the closet and shut the door.

"Phew," said Zoisite out loud.

"No saying the word 'phew,'" said Beryl, opening the door and then shutting it.

"Hey wait a minute!" realized Beryl.

Zoisite slid out under her feet, or tried to, anyway. He forgot she was wearing a dress and got caught within her gown.

"HEY!" howled Beryl. "Were you trying to get a panty shot?! I need to add that to the rulebook!"

"Yuck, no way!" scoffed Zoisite. "Now if it were a boxer shot…"

"No being gay!" yelled Beryl.

Zoisite skittered out like a cat and kept running.

Beryl wasn't used to this level of physical activity, and wished she had participated more in gym class.

She took her heels off and chased after Zoisite on foot.

Beryl turned the corner and Zoisite was gone. "Where'd he go?" she demanded.

Beryl leaned against Nephrite's vending machine to catch her breath.

"That Zoisite's a swift one," she panted.

Zoisite, who was hiding behind the vending machine, tipped it over on her.

"That oughtta do it!" cheered Zoisite. "No one with lame feats like hers could survive that!"

"NO COMPARING FEATS!" howled Beryl, bursting out of the vending and ending it in the process.

Zoisite knew it would be no use trying to run with Beryl this close. He had to use his strong suit, his quick wits, to try to calm down the beast.

"Easy now, Beryl," said Zoisite.

Beryl growled.

"Hey, no growling!" said Zoisite. "It's in the rules!"

"I made the rules!" shouted Beryl.

"OOO!" said Zoisite. "You can't say 'I'!"

"Yes I can!" insisted Beryl. "I don't have to abide by my own rules!"

She spawned a huge black crystal, and swung it like a sword.

Zoisite leapt 20 feet back.

"We know you're doing this because you're hurt from what Kenji did!" shouted Zoisite.

Beryl took several steps forward.

"But this won't bring your trust in Kenji back! If he really cares about you, he'd want to earn it back!"

Beryl took several steps forward.

"But he doesn't! Kenij doesn't love you, Beryl! And you have to get over it! You can't just live your whole life- It's ready!"

He shot his crystal from behind Beryl and nailed her right in the spinal cord.

She toppled over.

"LOLOLOLOLOL!" yelled Zoisite running away.

"No saying LOL in real life!" moaned Beryl, passing out.


"Queen Metalia-sama!" cried Zoisite. "Beryl's gone out of control!"

"Metalia knows," said Metalia. "But there is nothing she can do."

"What?! You're stronger than her!"

"Metalia isn't allowed to compare feats, so she's not sure about that," stated Metalia. "The thing is, Metalia is only in her 30% form."

"Hmmm," said Zoisite.

Suddenly Beryl ran in.

Zoisite was backed into a corner. He was all out of options.

"Guess it's time to take my chances," decided Zoisite comparing his and Beryl's feats. "Beryl did get defeated by Tuxedo Mask, whereas I however-"

"NO COMPARING FEATS!" shouted Beryl charging.

Zoisite charged too.

There was a flash of light, and they both stood still for 20 seconds.

Then Zoisite dropped like a stone.

"Hmm," said Metalia out loud. "I'm not so sure about that. According to Zoisite's feats, that might have been a much closer fight…"

Beryl turned to Metalia. "NO, COMPARING, FEEEEAAAAATS!"

She charged Metalia, and Metalia was backed into a corner and also could not move if she wanted her.

Beryl leapt at her but was suddenly obliterated by Metalia's superior power.

"Wow," said Metalia. "I guess that's why it's important to compare feats!"

Beryl's corpse sprung to life and took out Metalia.

"WHAT?!" yelled Metalia. "That's impossible! The feeeeeeeeeeeats!"

Metalia thought of what would be a good line to go out on. "Metalia-sama!" she cried and was no more.

Beryl dusted off her gown. "No comparing feats," she repeated.

Without the comparison of feats, she had plot armor on her side, and was able to defeat all the sailor scouts.

However without Metalia she had no one who could use the Silver Crystal, and decided to kill herself and take Kenji with her.

Endymion was once again the last survivor but all the scouts were dead so he decided to move in with Motoki and be roommates for the rest of their college years.