"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Jadeite, what is that mongrel by your side?"

Jadeite gasped in horror. "That's no mongrel! That's my new woofer!"

"No pets in the Negaverse!" barked Beryl angrily.

"How come your pet Kunzite's allowed here?" demanded Jadeite.

Kunzite appeared at the sound of his name. "What was that, pipsqueak?"

He picked up Jadeite by the scruff of the neck and tossed him out into the arctic.

His woofer dashed after him.

"Aww, thanks woofer," said Jadeite, touched that his woofer followed him. "Come on boy, let's go home."


Jadeite settled in his dark space with his woofer by his side.

"Goodnight woofer," said Jadeite.

The pup woofed back at him in agreement.

Jadeite fell asleep.

Suddenly the woofer smelled someone out in the hall and unlocked the door and left.

Nephrite sat at the soda machine. "Would you like some more tea?" he asked the soda machine.

It didn't respond so he poured it some more tea.

That's when Jed's woofer ran up and knocked over all the teacups.

"RRRRR, BACK OFF!" barked Nephrite.

The woofer barked right back and they got into a barking match.

The match lasted all night, until Zoisite threw a shoe at them.

"PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP IN THIS NEGAVERSE!" he shouted. "I'm filing a complaint!"

"This isn't my pup!" barked Nephrite, his throat sore by now.

"Then whose is it?"

"I don't know. He might be a stray."

Suddenly Jed opened his door. "That's no pup! That's a woofer! And it's MY woofer!"

"That's the same thing," said Zoisite.

Jed shook his head. "You have a lot to learn."

He took his woofer inside. "Good boy," he said.

Nephrite growled and went back to Earth.


"Jadeite," said Queen Beryl. "There's been some complaints about your woofer. It's been keeping the whole Negaverse awake with its loud barking."

"I think you mean woofing, my queen."

"Jadeite, that beast can't stay here," stated Beryl.

"Then farewell," said Jadeite. He put his woofer on his back and bicycled out of the Negaverse.

"Come on boy, we'll find a new home."


Jadeite tried numerous apartment complexes, however they either didn't allow woofers, or kicked him out once his woofer started disturbing the neighbors.

"I need a place far from civilization," he decided. "One in a spooky forest, on a hill. Oh look, a spooky forest, on a hill!"

Jadeite set up camp and soon built an entire house from scratch.

Nephrite walked outside to get his newspaper, and on his front porch was a house.

"HEY!" shouted Nephrite.

Suddenly Jadeite's woofer dashed outside and into Nephrite's house.

He tore up the place, while Nephrite chased after him barking.

The woofer left and went home.

"JADEITE!" howled Nephrite pounding on the door.

Jadeite answered the door.

"Hey Nephrite, are you here to throw me a housewarming party?"

"Jadeite, you can't live here!" shouted Nephrite.

"Why not?" asked Jed.

"It's that woofer of yours! He tore my house to shreds! I can't use my stars anymore, since they have been torn to pieces!"

"He's a just a woofer," explained Jadeite. "He doesn't know better!"

"Then train him!" shouted Nephrite.

"I'm sorry but that won't do. He's a purebred woofer."

"SO?!" yelled Nephrite. "That doesn't mean you can't train him!"

"Tell it to the New York Times," said Jadeite closing the door.

Nephrite was enraged.

He chain locked his door and glued shut all his windows so the woofer could not get in again.

The woofer stood outside Nephrite's door, patrolling the house and making sure he could not leave.

Nephrite, with no other options, called Zoisite for help.

"Help, Zoisite!" he said on the phone. "The woofer is camping my house!"

Zoisite, who was on Nephrite's sofa, turned around. "This isn't good. Maybe if we give it some food it will go away."

"Does Jed not feed it or something?" thought Nephrite.

He looked out the glued window to see Jed throwing it a bone.

"He's not hungry so what does he want?!" cried Nephrite.

"Maybe he needs affection," considered Zoisite.

He opened the door. "Want to be pet, woofer?"

The woofer knocked him over and dashed into the house.

It jammed a bookshelf in front of the door and then charged Nephrite.

There was nothing they could do so Nephrite and Zoisite moved out.

Nephrite had to take over Jadeite's old space until he got back on his feet.

Zoisite moved back into Kunzite's castle.

"Where have you been?" asked Kunzite.

"I moved out because Jadeite's woofer was so loud that it was keeping the whole Negaverse awake, but he follows me wherever I go! It's like he's got a radar lock on me!"

"Hmm," said Kunzite. "Jadeite told me about those. Let's hope the woofer doesn't come back."


Jadeite wanted to get his woofer back, but all Neph's windows were glued shut and the woofer had put a bookshelf in front of the door.

He had to end Nephrite's house.

"Come here boy," he said, and his woofer dashed over and licked him happily.

"Good work," said Jed. He tossed him some treats.

The woofer kept looking at him.

"What?" asked Jed. "I'm all out of treats!"

The woofer dashed off.

"Hey, come back here, woofer!" cried Jed.

He chased after the woofer into the woods, but soon lost sight of him.

"WOOFER!" he yelled. "I'M SORRY!"

Suddenly he heard a growl, and hesitantly turned around.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" cried Jadeite. He found himself face to face with a growler.

Jed threw a punch, but the growler caught it in its huge paw.

It threw a chop at Jed's exposed arm and he fell to the ground.

"This is the end," said Jed sadly.

Just then, the woofer came dashing back. It threw a head-butt, toppling the growler, and it was no more.

"WOOFER!" cried Jed. "You came back for me!"

The woofer titled its head, waiting for a treat.

"I'm sorry," said Jadeite. "I still don't have any."

The woofer dashed off again.

"NO!" wailed Jadeite. "I'll get some snacks, hold on!"

Jed went home and grabbed some more snacks, then took off after the woofer.

"WOOFER!" howled Jed, searching the entire forest.

But he couldn't find him anywhere.

He reached a swamp.

"Hey snapper, have you seen my woofer?"

The huge green snapper opened its huge green jaw.

And in its mouth was the woofer!

"HEY, SPIT THAT OUT!" yelled Jadeite. "That's my pup!"

The snapper didn't care and tried to continue eating the woofer.

Jadeite had a burst of strength, and drop-kicked the snapper into the distance, where it was ended.

He caught the woofer in his arms.

"Are okay?" he asked concerned.

The woofer nodded and waited for snacks.

Jadeite gave him the full bag, but he continued to look at Jadeite.

"Come on boy, that was a whole bag!" pleaded Jadeite.

The woofer took off.

"He's one with nature now," concluded Jadeite.

He headed home.

"I'm sure gonna miss that woofer."

He decided to call Nephrite and tell him he could come back.

Nephrite returned home and saw that there was no home left.

The stars' brutally bashed corpses were laying on the ground.

Neph picked one up. "WHYYYYYYY?!" he shouted.

Jed continued towards the North Pole where his true home was.

That's when Jadeite found himself face to face with a pack of screechers.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he cried.

He shot lightning but they absorbed the blow.

One of the screechers tossed Jed to the ground.

He was no more.


"That's really a shame what happened to Jadeite," thought Nephrite sadly.

He took a deep breath and respawned his house.

"Home sweet home," he said.

Suddenly the woofer came dashing out of the woodworks. He leapt through Nephrite's upstairs window and ended his house once more.

"AHH!" screamed Neph. "I'm not living on Earth anymore. Too many beasts."

He went into the Negaverse.

"Now to build my home in here," he decided. He found a nice looking empty space and respawned his mansion yet again.

He sat down on his couch.

"The Negaverse is a gloomy place but at least no woofers."

Suddenly he heard a teleport sound.

"Zoisite?" he asked hopefully.

That was when the woofer took his life and ended his mansion again.

Zoisite heard a knock on the door.

"Beryl?" he asked.

That was Zoisite's last word.

FIN