"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

Beryl rubbed her crystal ball. "Mmmmmmm," she said. "Jadeite, you haven't been getting a lot of energy lately."

"Tis true," admitted Jadeite sadly.

"You really need to step up your game," stated Beryl. "If you proceed to get energy at such a slow rate, we'll never be able to awaken the Negaforce- I mean Queen Metalia, our great ruler! If you can succeed in getting some energy, and we can awaken her from her slumber, the Negaverse will-"

"Beryl," said Jadeite.

"Jadeite! I was talking!" barked Beryl.

"Queen Beryl, can your crystal ball see the future?"

"WHAT?! NO!" yelled Beryl. "Of course not! Where did you get such a silly idea?"

"I was at the carnival the other day with Nephrite, Zoisite, Kunzite, and Usagi Tsukino's father Kenji. And-"

"Does this story have an ending?" demanded Beryl.

"Coming from you," said Jadeite under his breath.

"What was that?!" yelled Beryl.

"As I was saying, we got our fortunes told there. Now here's the thing. She had a crystal ball! It actually looked just like yours. I wonder if you got it from the same place! Anyway, with her ball she was able to tell our futures! It was then that it dawned on me that yours may be able to do the same!"

"Jadeite," said Beryl. "That fortune telling was just a circus act. No one can foresee the future."

"That's not true," said Jadeite. "Nephrite's stars can. And a young boy Zoisite encountered was also able to."'

"Nephrite is an enigma," said Beryl. "And don't believe Zoisite's tall tales!"

"Yes my queen," said Jadeite. "So in conclusion, your ball really can't see the future?"

"Once again, no!" shouted Beryl. "Now get out!"

"Yes m'queen."

Jadeite left.

"The nerve of that guy," said Beryl.


The time was 3:44am. Beryl stepped off her throne and headed to her bedroom.

She turned on her nightlight and went to sleep.

"Hehehehe," snickered Jadeite, entering the throne room.

Just to make sure no one was in there, he called out. "Anyone here? Queen Beryl, I found a new source of energy!"

"Jadeite?" said Kunzite. "What are you doing here? It is past the Negaverse's hours of operation."

"Damn," said Jadeite. "I shouldn't have called out. What do you want, Kunzite?"

"I was just doing my 3am patrol around the Negaverse," explained Kunzite. "But what are you doing here?"

"Oh… umm… I was just going to put some energy I just attained into Queen Beryl's crystal ball!"

"REALLY?" questioned Kunzite suspiciously. "YOU got energy?"

"Yes," said Jadeite. "I opened this gym, and told them to get in these energy pods."

"And they did it?" asked Kunzite.

"Amazingly, yes."

"But wait," said Kunzite. "Didn't you already do a gym plan before?"

"Drat!" thought Jadeite. "I didn't think he would have known about that! He hadn't even been introduced yet, let alone that he would have been able to hear the gossip!"

"Alright, I'll come clean," said Jadeite. "I just wanted to watch Queen Beryl sleep."

"Ah," said Kunzite. "Just… hurry up. Don't stay in there too long."

"Aye aye, cap'n!" said Jed.

Kunzite left. "That Jadeite's an enigma."


Jadeite waited till Kunzite was gone.

"Way to think on your feet, Jeddo!" he told himself.

He walked up to Beryl's crystal ball.

"Now how do I work this thing? It must be able to tell the future, it's a crystal ball for heaven's sake!"

He recalled a memory of how Nephrite was able to ask his stars things.

"Aha!" thought Jadeite.

"Crystal ball, show me what I'll eat for breakfast tomorrow!"

The crystal ball projected an image of Jed eating a bowl of Captain Crunch.

Jadeite gasped. "How'd it know!? HAHA! I knew it! It can tell the future!"

Jadeite paced around the ball, and wondered what to ask it next. "Crystal ball, does Beryl like me?"

The ball did not respond.

"Oh right, it can tell the future, and nothing else. Crystal ball, what's my favorite color? Drat, I did it again!"

Jadeite took some time to think. "Alright, alright! Crystal ball, will my next plan succeed?"

He shook the crystal ball.

"No," said the ball.

"Drat!" yelled Jed. "What about the plan after that? Where I dress up as Tuxedo Mask and write love letters to all the girls at Juuban Middle School?"

"No," said the ball. "You couldn't pull off the disguise."

Jadeite was getting frustrated. "Crystal ball, when will my plans work?"

"Maybe someday," said the ball.

That wasn't good enough. Jadeite took a deep breath. "Crystal ball, show me my death."

"WHAT?! NO!" cried Jadeite moments later. "I can't believe I'll die like that! But wait… now that I know the future, I won't show up to the next MLP convention, thus altering my fate!"

Jadeite decided that using the ball for serious matters such as plans and his life expectancy was really a bummer. "I'll use it for more trivial, more entertaining things! MWAHAHAHA!" he laughed. "I ought to take it home to do some more research."

He spawned an orange and put it where the crystal ball had been. "She won't notice a thing," chuckled Jadeite.


Jadeite showed up in front of Queen Beryl the next morning.

"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Jadeite," said Queen Beryl. "Did you replace my crystal ball with an orange?"

"Yes," said Jadeite. "I was just borrowing it for the night."

"That's okay, just give it back," said Beryl.

"Wow, I didn't think you'd be so cool with it!"

He gave it back.

"JADEITE!" howled Beryl, readying her ball for an attack. "I HOPE YOU'RE READY TO FACE YOUR FATE!"

"Yes," said Jadeite. "Just hold on one second."

He took three steps back and one to the right.

Beryl fired her blast, but it missed by an inch.

"WHAT THE?!" demanded Beryl. "How'd you do that?! And why did you take my ball?!"

"I just wanted to check if it could tell the future. Don't worry, it can't though!"

Beryl narrowed her eyes. "He must not have known how to use it," she considered. "But then how did he know where to dodge my attack?"

"JADEITE!" howled Beryl, shooting another attack.

But he had already left the room.

Beryl was stumped. "If I confront him and ask him if he really did use it to see the future, then he'll know it can see the future! But if he already does…"

She pondered for a moment using the ball to see what would happen if she confronted him, but stuck with her vow not to.

"Seeing the future would spoil the ending of Sailor Moon. I like to play things by year, see how it ends up."


"Queen Beryl," said Nephrite. "I have come up with a strategy."

Jadeite's hologram appeared in front of him.

"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Hey!" yelled Nephrite. "I was talking!"

"Tell it to the New York Times!" said Jadeite. "Anyway, Queen Beryl. I have come up with a way to gather more energy from one person than I could previously get from 100!"

"Hey wait a minute!" shouted Nephrite.

"You see, everything is ruled by the stars. And if Leo the Lion's constellation creates a perpendicular with Mars,"

"WHAT?!" shouted Nephrite. "HUH!? He's quoting my speech that I wrote this morning word for word! HOW?!"

"Heh heh," said Jadeite.

Nephrite swung at him, but he was just a hologram.

"I'll be getting that energy!" said Jed.

"GRRRR!" growled Nephrite.

He interrogated his stars when he got home, but they swore up and down they never talked to Jadeite.

Jadeite appeared at the snack machine.

"Good work," said Zoisite. "You made a fool of Nephrite! But how'd you do that?"

"That's for me to know, and you to find out!" said Jadeite.

"Rrrr, whatever," said Zoisite angrily.

Jadeite bought all the powdered donuts out of the snack machine and teleported away.

Nephrite appeared moments later. "Ahh, I've been craving some powdered donuts!"

They were all gone.

Nephrite spotted Zoisite and ran up and punched him in the face.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" cried Zoisite.

"You took all my donuts! Only you would know that they're my favorite food in the world!"

"It was Jadeite, I swear!" exclaimed Zoisite. "I just saw him do it, and wondered why he needed so many powdered donuts."

"Grrr," said Nephrite. "That Jadeite's getting on my nerves! How is he doing this to me?! It's almost like he can see the future!"

"Wait a minute," pondered Zoisite, but Nephrite teleported away.

Zoisite was still mad about getting socked.

He teleported to Kunzite.

"Kunzite!" said Zoisite. "Nephrite just socked me!"

Kunzite put down his pudding. "I always knew the day would come where I killed Nephrite!"


Nephrite sat at the park with Mawly after saving her from a kidnapping.

"Oy Nephroyt," said Molly, giggling. "I hope you don't get killed now haha."

"Haha don't worry," said Nephrite. "I have nerves of steel!"

Suddenly Jadeite appeared.

"Hey, you!" yelled Nephrite. "I have a bone to pick with you!"

"There's no time," said Jadeite. "Move two steps diagonally to the left, and then take two steps back."

"Huh? Ok…" said Nephrite complying.

Just then one of Zoisite's Youmas that Nephrite had spared fired a deathly vine attack, and it soared past Nephrite's face.

Nephrite grabbed the branch and lit his palm on fire, baking the Youma.

The other two tried to run, but Nephrite easily caught up to them and put them out of their misery.

"Wow," said Molly standing next to Jadeite.

"Nephrite's amazing!"

"Molly," said Jadeite. "Cherish this time while you can, because after about season 2 you will rarely if ever appear in this show."

"What? Why!? I'm the main cast!" cried Molly.

Jadeite shook his head. "Goodbye!"

Zoisite appeared to grab the Black Crystal.

"Hahaha, you were like a candle flickering in the- hey! What's going on?!"

Nephrite flew up and socked Zoisite, and Zoisite fled.

"Kunzite!" cried Zoisite. "The plan didn't work and I got socked again!"

"What?! NO!" Kunzite was mad. "Alright, we're going to have to both brainstorm together to end this Nephrite guy once and for all. I think I might have an idea."


Nephrite was watching the daily news.

"Breaking news! Young girl Molly Osaka is hanging precariously on a crane at the shipping yard! She might be held captive! If anyone cares about this girl they should go save her!"

"Hmm," thought Nephrite concerned. "If that's Molly, then I gotta go save her! But this sounds right up Zoisite's alley, setting a trap instead of fighting, like a coward!"

He thought about it for another minute, and decided to go anyway.

"Wait," said Jadeite appearing.

"Oh hey Jed, I never got to thank you about earlier. But you did cause that scenario by forcing me to sock Zoisite. Heh, oh well," said Nephrite. "At least I got to sock him twice."

"Don't go to the shipping yard," said Jadeite. "That's not Molly!"

"What?!" said Nephrite. He took a closer look at the screen.

"Wait, Molly doesn't have blonde hair, and that outfit is not the right color! It is in fact a pallet swap of Molly's regular outfit! Thanks Jadeite, but how'd you know?"

"Because I have eyes," said Jadeite.

"Hmm," said Nephrite. "I'll give ya that, but how'd you know about that other thing?"

"Someday you'll know!" yelled Jadeite, teleporting away.

"Hmmmmmm," said Nephrite.


Zoisite stayed hanging from the crane all night because Nephrite never showed up.

Kunzite went to check on him the next morning.

"Kunzite, help, it's chilly out here!" cried Zoisite.

"Sorry," said Kunzite. "If you were to wear a jacket they would know immediately!"

"Well then why did I palette-swap the outfit?"

"Well, that's simple," said Kunzite. "So if Molly showed up, I wouldn't confuse you with the real Molly!"

Zoisite stayed on the crane for three more days. "My arms hurt. Let me down, this isn't working," Zoisite decided at last.

"Wow," said Kunzite. "I thought that would have been a surefire success! Our two brilliant brains worked on that one together! The two of us combined should be able to do anything, our total IQ must be over 5,000!"

"All those things are true," said Zoisite. "That's why this just doesn't add up."


Kunzite was at his house minding his own business.

He closed his book. "Time to get a new book to read, and I know exactly which one!"

Kunzite headed down to the huge library in his huge castle.

He floated up to the fourth of ten stories, and located the book he wanted.

"Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days, perfect!" said Kunzite, pulling out the book.

But there was a cord attached to the book, and as he pulled the book out, it triggered a bomb.

"WHAT THE-"

The bomb exploded, blowing up Kunzite's entire Diary of Wimpy Kid collection and a large portion of his library.

He was minorly injured and greatly annoyed.

He furiously turned on his X-ray vision. "That book was the only one with a bomb attached! How could someone possibly know what book I wanted to read next?! I already read the full series, I just wanted to look back at that one in particular. There's no way…"

"Kunzite?" asked Zoisite, coming towards the library. "I heard an explosion, is everything alright?"

He walked in through one of the 24 entrances to the library. Suddenly he tripped on a wire.

No bomb went off but he was greatly injured.

"How the heck?!" He checked every other entrance, but none of them had tripwires.

"Who would know that I would come through that one door?!"

"Something very strange is going on," said Kunzite. "Be extremely careful."

Kunzite headed to the closet to change out of his blown up uniform. He reached for a random one of his 300 identical uniforms, but then shook his head and went for another.

He pulled out five different uniforms, then threw them all away, just to make sure.

Finally he settled on a different random one.

"Step back, there may be bomb!" exclaimed Kunzite.

He pulled it out but no bomb.

"Okay… I think I bested whoever's behind this."

He put on the uniform.

"AHHH!" he yelled. The uniform was filled with poisonous snakes.

"AHHHHHH!" screamed Kunzite again.

"AHHHHHH!" screamed Zoisite.

Kunzite wrestled off the uniform but not before getting bitten numerous times.

"None of the others have poisonous snakes, this is ridiculous!" yelled Kunzite.

He headed to his phone to call Beryl, but the phone line was cut. All of the other lines were perfectly intact.

"Fine then, I'll just use a different phone!"

He picked up the next phone but it exploded.

"We have to get out of here!" he cried. "Someone is targeting us and they seem to know exactly what we'll do! It's like they have future vision!"

Kunzite thought that future vision may be a myth, since he could not do it himself, but then remembered something Zoisite had told him. "Zoisite, did you ever kill that kid who had future vision?"

"No," said Zoisite. "I just turned him into a monster, but I think his heart was still human and he got healed in the end."

"AHA!" said Kunzite. "Let's go end him!"


Greg walked down the street, and Kunzite appeared in front of him.

"Say goodnight, boy!"

"I foresaw this," said Greg. "And I also foresaw that there was nothing I could do. So I purchased this gun."

Greg ended his own story before Kunzite could.

"Smart boy," said Zoisite. "Well I guess that solves that problem!"

"Hmm," said Kunzite. "The house is still severely booby-trapped by the future kid. We better just hang out in the Negalounge for a few days while we hire some Youmas to take care of all the traps."

Kunzite and Zoisite went to the Negalounge.

Five days later they returned to their house.

"This is strange," said Kunzite. "There are no Youma corpses. It seems that that phone was the last trap he placed."

Kunzite killed all the Youmas. "We're good to go now."


That night…

Kunzite got in the bath tub. "I'm going to change things up tonight, and use a new shampoo."

He looked in the cabinet and saw there was a selection of every possible flavor of shampoo.

"It's nice living luxuriously," said Kunzite.

He opened a bottle and poured some shampoo on his head.

However, he was having a hard time rubbing it through his hair.

Zoisite walked in. "Mmmmmm…" he said.

"Hey Zoisite," said Kunzite. "What's wrong with this shampoo? It doesn't seem to be spreading in my hair well."

"KUNZITE!" cried Zoisite. "That's not shampoo… that's molten lava!"

"What?!" said Kunzite. "NO!"

Suddenly now that he realized it was lava, it started to burn. "AHHH! GET IT OFF!"

Zoisite tried to turn on the shower faucet.

But instead of water, out came acid.

"NOOOOOOO!" shrieked Zoisite.

He teleported away, and Kunzite tanked it and turned off the faucet.

But his floor was no more.

The lava had now hardened and Kunzite's hair was full of igneous rock.

He chiseled it out furiously. He checked all his shampoos but he already knew there would be nothing bad in the rest of them.

Zoisite had come back by now.

"That future kid must have somehow alluded the Youmas," considered Zoisite.

"Impossible," said Kunzite. "This was fresh lava. I could tell by its temperature."

"So he did it recently," concluded Zoisite.

"No, he's dead," reminded Kunzite.

"Then it wasn't Greg this whole time…?"

"D'ah," said Kunzite. "We have an unbeatable foe that can tell the future and also has access to the Negaverse and fresh lava."

"Wait a minute," said Zoisite. "Who's been our foe this whole time?"

"Sailor Moon?" asked Kunzite.

"No, the true villain of the season! Nephrite! He has the power to see the future through his stars, as he is able to see who will be at the peak of their energy!"

"AHA!" said Kunzite. "And he knows we tried to kill him, which is why he didn't fall for our trap! Let's go end this, right now!"


They showed up at Nephrite's mansion.

"Huh?" said Nephrite putting down his NES controller. "What do you kids want?"

"We know you put the lava in the shampoo!" yelled Zoisite.

"Huh?" said Nephrite, taking off his headphones. "What are you talking about?"

"Just surrender," said Kunzite. "This is the end of your arc."

"Yeah right," said Nephrite, cocky because he knew Jadeite would come save him like he did the previous times.

He stood there with his arms crossed as Kunzite charged him.

"Any second Jed will come and tell me which way to dodge!" thought Neph.

He did not move a single inch until his sudden death.

"That was relatively easy," said Zoisite. "I wonder why he didn't even try to dodge."

"He knew it would be futile, like that Greg kid," assumed Kunzite.

"I'm hungry from all this bloodshed," said Zoisite. "Let's go get a snack from Neph's fridge."

They opened Nephrite's fridge, and it blew up, taking the mansion with it.

"DAMMIT!" said Zoisite. "BUT HOW?!"

"Why would he rig his own fridge?!" exclaimed Kunzite. "Is that why he accepted death so suddenly, because he knew we'd open the fridge after we finished him off?!"

"No, it can't be that," said Zoisite. "Nephrite's an enigma, but he loved life. He would not kill himself just to mildly damage us."

"Then how will we ever figure out who's doing this?" wondered Kunzite. "Maybe… there's something on the news?"

"It's a shot in the dark, but even if we wanted to take it, that remote's definitely rigged!" Zoisite figured, looking at Nephrite's remote cautiously.

They teleported to McDonald's where the TV was already on the news channel.

"Haha!" said Kunzite. "Nothing can hurt us if we don't do anything!"

On the news, they saw an interview with a man who had won eight consecutive lotteries.

"So, Mr. Jay Dite. What's it's like to have achieved something that's mathematically impossible?"

"Well, it's all in the technique," said a familiar face. "And also, I just used my magic Eight Ball here!"

He was holding Queen Beryl's ball.

"JADEITE!" howled Kunzite and Zoisite in unison. "THAT FIEND!"

Zoisite had a flashback to a few days ago, when Jadeite bought out all the powdered donuts moments before Nephrite showed up looking for powdered donuts.

"Jed's the one who caused Nephrite to punch me! He started all this!"

"Well then," said Kunzite. "It's time to finish this!"

They teleported to Jadeite's dark space.

"I doubt he'll be here," said Zoisite.

Jadeite spun around on his spinning chair.

"I knew you guys would come," he said with a wink.

"Yeah, we get it," said Kunzite. "You can see the future. But your foresight must be a bit off if you think you can take on me! Comin' atcha!"

Kunzite charged at the speed of light, but Jadeite ducked, timing it perfectly, and Kunzite missed by one inch.

He started sending a barrage of blows, and Jadeite started repeating a pattern in his head.

"Right, left, right, down, up, A, B, C-stick!"

He dodged all the blows from memory.

Zoisite stood on the sidelines watching. "I gotta do something that will circumvent his future vision! Something spontaneous and unexpected!"

"AHHHH!" he shrieked, spawning a giant black crystal, 200% larger than his normal crystals. He flung it at Jadeite, and Jadeite tilted his neck at a 15 degree angle, dodging it exactly and causing it to soar past him and hit Kunzite.

"Kunzite, no!" cried Zoisite.

"Don't worry, you're not that strong," said Kunzite brushing it off.

"You may be able to foresee my attacks, Jadeite," began Kunzite. "But I'm still stronger than you! I'll just shoot an unavoidable beam!"

Jadeite teleported away.

"Crap, he knew I'd do that!"

"Also you just told him," said Zoisite. "But his reaction time was definitely unhuman."

They teleported to Beryl.

She was not on her throne, which shocked them.

"She must be in Metalia's room," inferred Kunzite. "That's the only other place we've seen her in. Except for that time she teleported to Jed's room, and her animation was a bit off."

They teleported to Metalia's room to see Beryl hiding behind her.

"Jadeite's got my ball, boys," explained my Beryl. "I could lose to even Zoisite now."

"Really?" asked Zoisite. Zoisite ended Beryl permanently.

"Hey," said Queen Metalia. "What was that for? I was attached to her!"

"I'm sorry," said Zoisite. "But my hands are tied."

"That's okay," said Metalia.

"What are we going to do about Jadeite?" questioned Kunzite. "Hey Metalia-sama, do you have any friends that can see the future so we can counter this?"

"Well," said Metalia. "There's my brother the Doom Phantom, however he's not too keen on helping people. He only does things that benefit him, and disposes of people once he has no use for them."

"Sounds like you," said Kunzite.

"It runs in the family," said Metalia. "However, if you know anyone with future vision that is no longer with us, I could revive them!"

"There's Nephrite," offered Kunzite.

"That won't work," said Zoisite. "I think Jadeite booby-trapped his stars."

"Then how about that boy that we killed?"

"Yes, yes! Metalia, bring back Greg/Ryo of Tokyo!"

"Oh man," said Metalia. "There's a lot of Ryo's in Tokyo."

"Crap, what was his last name?" wondered Kunzite. "Oh I know, bring back the yellow crystal warrior!"

"Ah, you should have said so," said Metalia.

She brought back Greg, and Greg came out swinging.

Even Zoisite was able to overwhelm him, and knocked him to the floor.

"Listen boy, we need your help."

"I will never help you!" yelled Greg. "I would rather die! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Okay," said Kunzite, killing Greg.

Metalia respawned him.

"Play nice, you two."

"Fine, what do you want?" barked Greg.

"We need to use your future vision in our battle of wits against Jadeite, who has also acquired future vision!"

"How would that work?" asked Greg.

"Well, Jed has already seen the future, but he hasn't seen the future that has updated thanks to our plan."

"He just did," said Greg. "He already saw you reviving me, and knows exactly what we'll do."

"Well, then tell us what HE'LL do!"

"This is tough," said Greg. "Every time I check the future it's different! It's because he's checking the future too!"

"Hmm," said Zoisite. "Then Jed must be experiencing the same problems! Let's go charge!"

"Alright," said Kunzite. "I have no better plan."

While Greg and Jadeite battled it out mentally, Kunzite teleported them all (except for Metalia because she is an unmovable force) behind Jadeite.

Kunzite threw a punch but Jed dodged.

"I saw that coming," said Jadeite.

"Swing left!" yelled Greg.

Kunzite swung left and Jadeite dodged right. He was looking at his crystal ball while fighting.

He started dodging Kunzite's punches as Greg yelled which directions to throw.

But since Jed was matching exactly what he saw, he slipped up and got hit.

His crystal ball fell to the floor.

"Wait, I can explain!" cried Jadeite.

Kunzite killed Jadeite.

"You did it!" said Zoisite.

"Can you port me home?" pleaded Greg.

They killed Greg.

"We don't want this happening again," they agreed.

They headed home.

"Home sweet home," said Zoisite turning on the TV.

They were blown up.

FIN