"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"
"Wait!" yelled Nephrite running in. "Queen Beryl! I just won 7 free tickets to a resort on some unknown Eastern European island!"
"Really?" said Beryl, jumping out of her seat.
Jadeite gasped. "I've never been on vacation before! It's too bad you would never invite us."
"Not to worry," said Nephrite. "It's necessary that I bring the full 7 people, according to the rules of the contest I don't remember entering."
Zoisite appeared suddenly. "Wait a minute. You say you won a contest, but you don't remember entering it? Doesn't that seem a little suspicious?"
"NAH!" said Nephrite. "Sometimes you just have to have faith in humanity."
"So who are you bringing?" continued Jadeite.
"Well," said Neph. "My first choice was of course Molly, but she demanded I bring that pest Melvin. So that leaves four more slots, and since I'm feeling generous, I decided to take you all!"
"YEeeeeeEE!" said Zoisite. "I'm going to pack!"
He left.
"I gotta pack too!" said Jed. He spawned an empty suitcase. "I'm ready to go!"
Beryl started to panic. "The vacation's on an island, right?! That means there will be swimming, right?! And I haven't had a bathing suit since the Silver Millennium!"
"What will you do, my Queen?" asked Jadeite.
"I gotta go shopping!" cried Beryl. "Where's Kunzite?! I need him to try on some clothes for me!"
Beryl frantically dashed away.
Nephrite sent out a group text since only Jadeite remained in the room with him.
"B the airport o' 700."
Nephrite teleported home to prepare.
It was o' 600.
"Goodbye, stars," said Nephrite, heading out the door with his luggage. "There's food in the fridge, and the remote is on the nightstand for if you get bored. Channel 49 is Cartoon Network. Have fun, just don't drink too much soda, and text me if anything goes wrong."
The stars gave a thumb's up.
"Good," said Nephrite. "I'll see you in five days."
Nephrite could have teleported to the airport, but he drove his red sports car all the way to Molly's house to pick her up.
"Hoy Nephroyt!" she said giddily. "I didn't tell my mummy I was going to stay with some guy for a week, so I guess she'll just report me as missing."
"No prob," said Nephrite. "It's time to go to the airport."
"Nooooo!" said Molly. "You know you have to pick up Melvin first!"
"Damn," said Nephrite. "I almost got away with it, too."
He pulled up to Melvin's house and honked his horn.
Melvin didn't surface.
"I'm leaving," decided Nephrite.
Suddenly Melvin surfaced.
"Damn!" said Nephrite.
"Hey guys!" he called in a muffled voice. He was still in his PJ's.
"Just give me a minute, I need to take my retainer out, and then I need to brush my teeth! And then I need to eat breakfast, and then I need to pack!"
"No," said Nephrite. "You have five minutes and then I'm leaving."
"AHHH!" cried Melvin dashing inside.
45 minutes later Melvin emerged with a poptart in his mouth.
"I didn't have time to eat breakfast," he said sadly. "I packed my MacBook Pro and all its accessories though."
"Get in the back," barked Nephrite. "We're gonna be late!"
Nephrite, Molly, and Melvin dashed into the airport and over to their plane's boarding area.
They were stopped and searched.
Melvin was held back because they thought he was holding a bomb.
"No!" he cried. "It's just my MacBook Pro!"
"Then you'll need to put it in your suitcase," said the employee. "We can't have you carrying metal objects in."
"No!" cried Melvin. "It will get stolen or crushed! It cost me $2,000!"
"Aww geez," said Nephrite, face-palming. "Why did you bring it? The pamphlet said we won't even get wi-fi out there."
"That's where you're wrong," said Melvin. "My $500 a month data plan gives me wi-fi anywhere in the world, even in the bottom of a sea trench."
They were at a standstill.
"Just put it in the suitcase," said Nephrite.
"NOooooo!" cried Melvin.
"Just put it in the suitcase," repeated Molly.
"Okay, anything for you Molly," concluded Melvin.
Nephrite was at his wit's end and they weren't even on the plane yet.
They headed to the loading area.
"Nephrite!" shouted Beryl. "What took you so long?! We were about to leave without you!"
"I have the tickets!" yelled Nephrite. "You couldn't have done that!"
Beryl shook her head. "You have a lot to learn."
"Hey, wait a second," said Nephrite.
Standing next to Beryl was Usagi Tsukino's father, Kenji Tsukino, who was equipped with Hawaiian swim trunks and a snorkel. Beside him was Evil Prince Endymion, who was dressed like regular Mamoru Chiba.
"Why are they here?" demanded Nephrite. "I only have seven tickets."
"About that," said Beryl. "There's been a change of plans. Your two pups cannot come on this trip."
"What's that?!" squeaked Melvin. "Hey lady, my metabolism wakes me up at 6am every morning! But today I had to wake myself up at 4am! My whole body has been thrown out of whack! And I skipped breakfast, which is not healthy!"
"Tell it to the New York Times," said Beryl.
"Hey, now wait a minute," said Nephrite. "I got the tickets to begin with."
"Sorry, but not sorry," said Zoisite.
"There's nothing else we can do," said Kunzite. "There's only seven tickets, and as much as I hate Mamoru Chiba, he must come."
"How about," said Nephrite. "You don't come, Kunzite! Since they're my tickets, I forbid you from getting on that plane!"
"Sorry, but not sorry," said Zoisite. "Our hands are tied."
Nephrite turned to Jadeite. Jadeite shrugged.
"Ho ho ho," said Kenji.
"So this is what I get for inviting you guys?!" demanded Nephrite.
Nephrite pulled out his tickets and went to tear them up.
"It's okay," said Molly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You… *sniffle* enjoy yourself."
"No, I won't!" yelled Nephrite. "They can't do this to me!"
He lit the tickets ablaze in his palm.
But Kenji blew into his snorkel, and water shot on the tickets, putting out the flame.
"No!" yelled Nephrite.
Zoisite snatched the tickets and ran on board.
"Come back here!" shouted Nephrite.
He chased Zoisite onto the plane but then it took off.
"See, all's well that ends well," said Mamoru Chiba.
Nephrite sat down angrily in his seat.
Jed went to nab the window seat, but Nephrite tossed him across the plane and took it.
Jed took the aisle seat next to Neph. "D'ah," he said. "I tried to stop them."
Nephrite turned away.
"Rock paper scissors, shoot!" yelled Mamoru, Kunzite, and Kenji, all bidding for the seat next to Beryl.
"I win!" said Kunzite.
"No you don't," said Zoisite, dragging him away.
"Alright, Chiba," said Kenji. "This is for all the marbles."
"Wait," realized Mamoru. "I don't even want this seat! So long!"
Mamoru sat down in the restroom. He locked the door.
"Ah," he said. "A nice, private ride."
He took out his MacBook Pro.
"Drat, no reception," he realized sadly.
The plane landed.
"Bathroom!" cried Jadeite. "I couldn't use it all flight!"
He dashed off the plane and to the bathroom.
The rest of them climbed down carefully.
"Woo," said Beryl. "I'm a little dizzy."
"Hey, this island's pretty nice," said Zoisite.
"Shut up," barked Nephrite.
"Come on," said Zoisite. "It's been ten hours. Get over it already."
"NEVER!" yelled Nephrite.
He hopped in his own cab and headed for the hotel.
"Wait, where is everyone?" realized Kenji. "I don't see a single inhabitant."
"That's odd," said Kunzite. "The pamphlet didn't say it was a private island…"
"Salutations my children!" yelled a tour guide, approaching them.
"Eww," said Mamoru. "He kind of looks like Motoki. I hate him already."
"Greetings!" continued the guide. "And welcome to the island!"
"Hey there!" said Kenji. "I'm glad to see another living being. Where is everyone else?"
The tour guide chuckled. "We'll get to that. It's all part of the tour."
"Hmm," said Beryl.
"Whelp, let's get going!" said the guide.
"WAIT FOR MEEEEEE!" yelled Jadeite running up. "Phew, you almost left without me."
"Heh," said Mamoru.
They walked a long ways, and climbed a high mountain.
"This island is quite mountainous," noted Zoisite.
"Yes," said the tour guide. He left it at that.
"When are we going to get to the hotel, to drop our stuff off?" asked Kunzite.
"Soon," said the tour guide. He left it at that.
"But this luggage is heavy!" complained Jed.
"That's just an empty suitcase," said Zoisite.
"Shut up," said Jadeite.
"Wow," said Zoisite. "Everyone's so hostile."
"It's okay, my boy," said Kenji, wrapping his arm around Zoisite. "You'll always be my number one son."
"Um…" said Zoisite. "Kunzite, help!?"
Kunzite was having a staredown with Mamoru Chiba over who could walk beside Beryl on the staircase.
Mamoru Chiba didn't even want to, but he couldn't let Kunzite.
"Let's go, my boy," said Kenji, guiding Zoisite.
"AHHHHHH" said Zoisite.
They finally reached the top of the mountain.
"So, this is the volcano that formed this island," said the tour guide.
Kunzite immediately noticed something was off.
He got down on the floor and put his ear to the ground. "This volcano is way too recent to form an island. This upper layer of rock wasn't even formed by lava."
"You're wrong," said the tour guide. He left it at that.
"I really hate this guy," said Kunzite, further examining the rock.
"So guys, this is a major tourist attraction of this island," pointed out the tour guide. "We call it Maka Waka Waka, Ho O' Oeh Oeh."
"Odd name," said Jadeite.
"Yes, well, it's in the native tongue. Anyway, most tourists get their picture taken here!" He added, "For only $75 dollars!" under his breath.
"What was that?" asked Beryl.
"Nothing, I'll put it on your tab. All of you line up facing away from the volcano. I'll go step back and snap your pic."
They all lined up.
"Hmm, the lighting's not right," said the tour guide. "Let me step back a little further."
He took off sprinting until he reached the bottom of the mountain, and then kept running.
"That's odd," said Beryl.
"Nah," said Kenji. "Don't question the intricate nature of photography. It requires precise precision."
"Did you just say 'precise precision?'" asked Kunzite.
"Not to worry, my boy," said Kenji, wrapping his other arm around Kunzite.
"Zoisite, help!" said Kunzite.
"I can't," said Zoisite. "He got me too!"
"Can I blink now?" asked Jadeite with tears running down his face.
"This is weird," said Beryl. "Where did he go?"
Suddenly they all heard a rumbling.
"What's… what's going on?!" cried Jed. He finally blinked, and when he opened his eyes, he saw the volcano erupt.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" cried everyone.
They were sitting ducks as lava shot out into the sky and then came down like rain.
"This is the end," said Zoisite sadly.
"At least I'll die with my two best boys," said Kenji.
"Get offa me!" cried Kunzite, throwing Kenji off.
Kenji put up a fight, and Kunzite was just able to free his hands at the last second.
He put them all in a dark energy bubble.
"Eaaaaaasy does it," he said.
"Phew," said Beryl. "You saved us, Kunzite!"
Mamoru growled. "He uses humans to do his dirty work."
"Wanna get pushed out of the bubble?" asked Kunzite.
"I'll take Zoisite with me," warned Endymion.
They both got into a growling match.
"Hey… guys?" said Jed. "The lava's really piling up on top of this bubble. And the ground's shaking a bit…"
Just then, the ground collapsed under the weight, and their bubble went plummeting into the core of the volcano.
The bubble started to melt.
"Uh oh!" said Kunzite.
"Rip," said Zoisite.
"It's all over now!" cried Kenji.
Jadeite shrieked like when he got hit by the plane.
Lava started gushing in.
The six person crew finally arrived back at the town.
"That was a close one," said Beryl. "The only loss was Zoisite's hair that got scorched."
Zoisite was sobbing. "Now my hair looks like Jed's."
Kenji put his arm around Zoisite and he started sobbing more.
That's when they spotted the tour guide, as he was the only person in town.
"HEY, YOU!" yelled Kunzite. "I have a bone to pick! Where'd you go?!"
"You guys are alive!" he said with glee. "That was so scary! I was going to take your picture when I got jumped by two muscular individuals! When I finally escaped, I saw the volcano erupting out of nowhere, and I thought you were all done for!"
"Two muscular individuals, eh?" said Endymion. "How come I don't see a single person in town?"
"Not a single person?" asked the tour guide in shock. "There was just a big group of them right here! Must have been twenty!"
"You just said it was two," recalled Kenji.
"No, I mean after I got jumped!"
"Then where did they go?" demanded Kunzite.
"Hey look, a police car!" said the tour guide. He leapt into a dumpster.
"I don't see a police car?" said Jed in confusion.
Suddenly a police car drove up, and a cop stepped out.
He looked kind of like Yuuichiro.
"What's going on? Why are you hooligans going around beating people up?" barked the cop.
"What? We're not hooligans!" cried Kenji. "We're good boys!"
The cop took a long hard look at them.
"Yep, definitely hooligans!"
He threw them all in the cop car.
"I'm a queen!" yelled Beryl. "You won't get away with this! I'll call Metalia, and then you'll see!"
"Tell it to the New York Times," said the cop.
All six of them were crammed into the backseat, and he drove off.
"We gotta get out of here!" said Zoisite. "Open the door, let's leap out!"
"I can't," said Jadeite. "We're too smooshed back here!"
"There's nothing we can do," said Beryl sadly.
Beryl was the first to be interrogated.
"I want my lawyer!" yelled Beryl instantly. "I won't tell you anything!"
"Sorry," said the interrogator who was just the cop from before. "But your lawyer's right there!"
He pointed to Kenji in the jail cell.
"I plead the fifth!" yelled Beryl.
"We don't have that amendment on our island, or even in Japan for that matter," the cop informed her sadly.
Beryl growled.
Next was Endymion.
"All right!" he cried as he was dragged in. "I'll admit it! I'll admit everything!"
"Okay," said the cop.
"It was all Kunzite's fault."
"HEY!" yelled Kunzite from the jail cell.
"Sorry," said the cop. "We don't play the blame game here."
"I plead the fifth?" asked Endymion.
The interrogator shook his head. He was tossed back into the jail cell and they dragged out Jed.
Jed was sobbing. "I'm sorry, okay?! I'm sorry! It was just such a long night, I was at my wit's end… I didn't mean to kill him, I didn't! I just wanted to knock him out for a while! But I must have hit him too hard! I tried to hide the body… but when I went to leave the cops were already there! I went to the backyard and hopped the fence, but-"
"Wait," said the interrogator. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Uh…" said Jadeite.
He got tossed back into the cell as well.
Kunzite was pulled up next.
"So," said Kunzite. "What charges exactly are you holding us on?"
The interrogator shook his head.
"What do you mean?! What the hell is this?!" cried Kunzite.
He was thrown back in the cell.
Next was Kenj.
"Hi," said Kenji.
"Hello," said the interrogator. "Tell us what happened."
"Okay," said Kenji.
The interrogator waited. "…Well?"
"Yup," said Kenji. "Say, when do I get my phone call? I have to call my boy Shingo and tell him I'm not coming home tonight!"
"No phone call," said the cop.
"This is injustice!" yelled Kenji. "I plead the fifth!"
Kenji was tossed back into the cell and they double-locked the door.
"Hey wait!" said Zoisite. "Aren't you going to interrogate me?"
"Shut up," said the cop.
"How rude!" yelled Zoisite. "I want to speak to your manager!"
"Please wait here until your trial," said the cop. He left and did not return.
Two days later, they started to get impatient.
"When's our trial?!" yelled Beryl.
She started shaking the rails. "HEY! HEY! Is anyone there?! HEY!"
No one was there.
"Why are we sitting here?" realized Kunzite. "We can just break out!"
"That's illegal," said Kenji.
Kunzite knocked him out for a while.
He proceeded to blow a hole straight through the wall.
"Would you look at that?" said Jed. "I wish I thought of that!"
They all climbed out.
"We're free!" cried Kenji, coming to. "FRrEEEEEEDOOOM!"
"Keep it down," said Zoisite.
Kenji put his arm around him.
"Not to worry my boy, the guards won't hear us!"
"Hey!" said the same police man.
"Let's leg it!" cried Beryl.
They legged it.
"AHHH!" cried Kenji, tripping. He took Zoisite down with him.
The others turned around.
"HEEEELP!" yelled Zoisite as the policeman was getting close.
Kunzite thought fast and threw Zoisite over his shoulder like a newborn.
Kenji grabbed Kunzite's leg and held on for dear life.
They made many sharp turns down alley ways, but the policeman was persistent.
They decided the only way to lose him was to use their powers.
They leapt 50 feet in the air onto a building, and Kenji was almost tossed.
But the policeman was right behind them.
"What the?!" yelled Kunzite. "That's impossible!"
They leapt from building to building but it was futile.
They jumped to the ground, and this time Kenji was in fact tossed.
He took a major hit, but crawled to his feet and kept running.
As they headed down more alleys, they jumped to the side at one point, and the policeman kept running.
They watched until he ran off into the distance.
"Phew," said Beryl. "I'm not used to running. Or moving, for that matter. What kind of hellhole country is this, treating a queen this way?!"
"Hey there, are you having some problems?" asked a voice.
They all spun around and were prepared to leg it.
"I'm President P. Willington, the king of this island. What seems to be the issue?"
He looked vaguely like the priest from the rainbow crystal eps.
"Boxy?" asked Zoisite.
"Excuse me?" asked the king/mayor. "Well, anyway, if you have any complaints please voice them to me. But not here. Please, let me escort you to City Hall."
"Hey Kunzite," said Zoisite in the back of the pack as they paced to City Hall. "Don't you think it's a little strange that the president was in that back alley?"
"This whole place has strange customs," assured Kunzite. "Remember when we were just arrested for no reason?"
"Ooooh," said Beryl in the front. "I have a LOOOOOT of complaints! I can't wait to get there!"
"Hold your horses," said the mayor/president. "We're almost there."
"Good," said Beryl.
"Can we check into the hotel yet?" asked Jadeite. "My luggage is starting to weigh me down."
"That's an empty briefcase," said Mamoru Chiba.
"Shut up Zoisite," said Jadeite.
"HEY!" yelled Zoisite.
Mamoru snickered.
"Here we are, City Hall!" said the pres. "Now come on in!"
Two days earlier…
Nephrite woke up after his long nap.
"Where's room service?" he wondered. "No one even checked me in at the front, but I was too angry to think into it. So I just left my free tickets on the desk."
He looked at the time. "Man, I didn't mean to fall asleep right after getting here, but I couldn't sleep on the plane because I was too mad."
He walked around the suite.
He opened up the mini-fridge. "Any alcohol?" he wondered.
He picked up a bottle and checked the menu.
"Ten dollars? Yeah right!"
He put it back.
"Hey guys, wanna go swimming in the pool?"
There was silence.
"What the?" wondered Neph. "Did they head out for the day without me?"
He looked around. All the beds were still perfectly made, and there were no suitcases but his own.
"Did they… not even check in yet? What's going on? Did they get lost?"
Nephrite was almost concerned for one second, but then squashed his concern. "Oh well, they shouldn't have bullied along. Time to log on my Netflix account!"
Nephrite tried to log on his Netflix account, but he couldn't get connection.
Finally he was so mad that he headed down to the pool to cool off.
He spent the whole day in the pool, the gym, the observatory, and then the pool again.
He went to sleep.
The next day, he spent the whole day in bed watching a Gumball marathon on Cartoon Network.
"I wonder how my stars are doing," he pondered
Right before bed, he unpacked his things finally and organized them in the drawers.
"I wonder where the pack is, it's been a few days now…"
He left it at that.
The next day he woke up with a note under his pillow.
"Where is room service?!" he demanded. "There's litter in my bed! Hey wait a minute, this isn't my litter!"
He opened the note.
"Dearest Nephrite, I have captured all your friends, and also Zoisite. They are being held captive at City Hall. If you don't come to save them in one hour from when you look at this note, I'll have them executed."
"D'ah," said Nephrite. "I hope they learned a valuable lesson about making me use my free tickets on them."
He went down to the pool and shut his eyes.
"Mmm, this water's nice."
"I agree," said Jadeite.
"Oh hey Jadeite," said Neph. "How come you're not kidnapped?"
"I am," said Jadeite. His image faded away.
Nephrite rubbed his eyes. "I'm just seeing things!"
"Nephrite, you're my favorite Shitennou," said Beryl.
"Who said that?!" yelled Nephrite.
Sitting on the lounging chair was Beryl sun-tanning indoors.
"Ah, Nephrite, take a seat next to me!"
"Sure, why not?" said Nephrite.
He sat down.
"I really enjoyed my days planning to take over the world with you," said Beryl.
"Haha," said Nephrite. "I enjoyed my days slacking off."
Beryl chuckled. "You might not have been my fave, but you were definitely in my top two! Why do you think I never killed you?"
"Because you wouldn't dare try," replied Nephrite.
"No," said Beryl. "I could have had Kunzite kill you. But I liked you a lot better than Jadeite or Zoisite."
Nephrite felt a pain in his heart. "Is that true?"
"There's canon evidence to suggest it," said Beryl.
Suddenly she faded away.
"Beryl?!" he said. "Oh, right, it's just a vision. You're all gonna die. But I don't care, because I'm mad! You shouldn't have decided who got to come with my tickets!"
"Haha," said Zoisite. "You're too scared to come save us, I get it!"
"No!" yelled Nephrite. "Shut up Zoisite!"
"That's what I'd say too," said Zoisite. "You're just afraid to fight anyone that already defeated Kunzite, because you know you're weaker than him."
"That's not true!" yelled Nephrite. "If we were to come to blows, it could go either way!"
Zoisite just laughed. "Even I killed you lol."
Nephrite threw a punch, but the image faded away.
"Who needs 'em?!" shouted Nephrite. "I don't need any of them! I hate them! I hate them all!"
Nephrite sprinted down the streets sweating like a beast.
"I gotta get to City Hall!" he cried.
He dashed up the steps and slammed open the double doors.
Inside were all the Shitennou and the others tied up with magic rope.
"Let them go!" yelled Nephrite. "Not that I care about them, or anything!"
The president of the island turned around on a spinning chair.
"You have a lot to learn, Nephrite!"
"How do you know my name?!" demanded Nephrite. "Who are you?!"
The president leapt out of his seat, and landed in front of Nephrite.
He spun around ten times, and on the 11th spin, it was revealed that he was none other than Nephrite's evil twin, Nephrake.
"NEPHRAKE!" shouted Nephrite. "I should have known! Something was off when I won a contest I never entered! Why didn't anyone warn me?!"
"Well," said Zoisite.
"Shut up Zoisite," said Nephrake.
He pulled out a squirrel and ate it. "Mmmm," he said.
"Wait," said Jadeite who was just noticing. "The president was Nephrake this whole time?!"
"Yes," said Nephrake. "I was also the tour guide," he said, taking the form of the tour guide. "And then I was the policeman. And finally after that, I was the president," continued Nephrake, taking all the forms as he mentioned them.
Finally he turned back into Nephrake.
Kunzite would have snapped his fingers if he wasn't tied up. "I knew something was off!"
"Yes," said Nephrake. "But wait, there's more! I was the one who sent the tickets, and I was the one who created this island!"
"Hang on," said Nephrite. "I can't create an island! Our power levels are equal, how did you do that?"
"We can create mountains," reminded Nephrake. "So I just made a bunch of mountains on the seafloor, and built them all the way up to here. It took me a couple weeks, and several more weeks to construct a whole city. I also made a volcano that was set to erupt exactly when your friends arrived."
"I should have known that it was odd that we never saw more than one person in the town at a time!" said Kenji.
"Yes," said Nephrake.
"But why?!" asked Endymion, un-informed of Nephrake's character. "Why go through all this effort?!"
"It's simple," said Nephrake. "I needed to settle the score with my twin, and finish him off once and for all! And then also finish off the rest of the Shitennou because I don't like you guys."
"What did I ever do?!" cried Kenji.
"I'm fine with you," admitted Nephrake. "But sadly you're just a sacrifice I'm willing to make."
Nephrake turned back to Nephrite, who was growling.
"Now then," said Nephrake. "Let's duel, dearest brother! And have a battle of the ages!"
Nephrake snapped his fingers, and the City Hall walls fell down. It became a huge battle arena.
Nephrite was sweating. "Nephrake is completely evenly matched with me, so it could go either way. It essentially all comes down to what I ate this morning."
Nephrite gulped. He hadn't eaten anything that morning. "I should have listened to Melvin…"
Nephrake charged at the speed of light, and Nephrite followed suit.
They began clashing at rapid speeds.
"Who's winning?" asked Kenji.
"I don't know," said Kunzite. "I can't tell which is which."
"I can't even keep up," said Zoisite.
Nephrake threw a left hook, and Nephrite dodged.
Nephrite threw a right hook, and Nephrake dodged.
They both threw a right hook at the same time, and both blows landed, doing minor damage.
They both jumped back exactly five feet.
"I call forth the power of the stars!" yelled Nephrite.
The stars, who had missed him very much, were happy to comply.
"Aww yea," said Nephrite. "Starlight Attack!"
Nephrake was hit by the edge of the energy blast, and angered.
"I can do that too, ya know!" yelled Nephrake. "I call forward the uh… what was it?"
Nephrite kicked him in the face, but Nephrake hopped back and kicked Nephrite in the face.
They both landed in the same position.
"I have to do something to turn the odds in my favor," realized Nephrake. "Otherwise this match could go on for hours!"
Nephrake took the form of Kunzite in order to intimidate his opponent.
Fake Kunzite pointed to himself. "You don't have the guts to take me!" he said in Kunzite's voice. "You're just a candle flickering in the wind!"
Nephrite was spooked. For a second he actually thought it was Kunzite.
That's when Nephrake landed a critical hit, tossing Nephrite across the stage and into the arena wall.
"Drat!" said Nephrite, falling to the ground.
The real Kunzite shivered. "I don't like this one bit. This Kunzite's totally off, who could possibly fall for this?!"
Fake Kunzite walked over to Nephrite's brutally bashed body.
"Heh heh," he said, still in Kunzite's voice. "I am Lord Kunzite of the Negaworld! I am tanner than you, and some would say handsomer! I am stronger in every way, haha! The bane of your existence!"
Nephrite got mad, and grabbed Nephrake by the leg. He threw him across the room, and he leapt to his feet and caught up to him mid-flight.
He charged an energy blast in his hand, and threw it into Kunzite's face.
"I've waited too long for that!" he said.
"Hey," said the real Kunzite. "Do you wanna die?"
"Not now," said Nephrite. "I'm saving you, jerk."
Nephrake got on his feet and growled. He decided to morph again.
This time he became Queen Beryl.
"Nephrite!" she yelled. "Why aren't you getting energy?!"
Nephrite hesitated for a moment to punch a girl, nonetheless his queen, but got over it quickly.
He socked Beryl in the chops, and fake Beryl backhanded him.
"How dare you disobey me?! Sleep forever!"
Fake Beryl's eyes lit up.
"What the?!" said Nephrite.
She fired a beam out of her eyes, and Nephrite panicked and dodged.
"How did he…?"
But it was only a lightshow, and there wasn't even an explosion when it hit the wall.
While Nephrite was confused, Beryl threw an elbow into his face.
But Nephrite grabbed it, and socked Beryl in the chops again.
"Stop damaging my face!" yelled the real Beryl. "I don't like watching this!"
Fake Beryl punched Nephrite in the chops, but Nephrite tripped her since her outfit and body-type were unfit for battle.
Nephrake toppled like a tree.
Nephrite continued his assault, and Fake Beryl couldn't keep up.
Nephrake reverted back to his regular form.
"That last form was unfit for battle and couldn't possibly move at the same speeds as my current body," commented Nephrake.
Queen Beryl growled.
"Alright, here's a good one," said Nephrake, mentally looking through his inventory.
He turned into Molly.
Nephrite had been mid-charge, but he skidded to a halt. "Molly!" he yelled. "How did you get here?!"
"You idiot!" yelled Zoisite. "It's obviously Nephrake!"
"Shup up Zoisite," said Molly.
"Nephrite, come give me a hug!" she said, not even with a Boston accent.
"MOLLY!" yelled Nephrite, running up and giving Nephrake a hug.
"Idiot," said Molly.
She fired an energy blast in her hand and shot it right through Nephrite's heart.
"MOLLLLLLYYYYY! WHY?!" he shouted. He fell to the floor.
"You gotta fight her!" yelled Jadeite. "It's not the real Molly!"
"I can't!" said Nephrite. "I can't fight anyone with Molly's face!"
Nephrake ran up and started throwing blows, and Nephrite made no effort to dodge them.
"Molly! Stop!" he cried.
"I win," said Nephrake. He fired another close-ranged blast, and Nephrite was sent into peril.
"Game's over," said Molly. She pulled out a squirrel and ate it for some mid-battle energy.
That's when Nephrite snapped out of it and went back to his senses.
"Only Nephrake eats squirrels, not Molly!" he shouted.
He ran up and grabbed Molly by the neck, and threw her to the ground.
He then picked her up and threw her to the ground.
"Nephy! Stop!" cried Nephrake.
"Nice try," said Nephrite.
He picked up her small body and snapped her spine against his knee.
He then grabbed her by the head and slammed her into the wall.
Nephrake tried to break free of the combo but his body was too small.
He converted back to Nephrake, and threw a punch.
Nephrite caught it, and threw a punch of his own.
It was caught by Nephrake, and they were now locked in arms.
They both shrieked at the top of their lungs, until they both jumped back five feet at the same second.
"This isn't working," said Nephrake. "Who else do I have?"
He scanned his tied up prisoners. "Aha," he decided.
He turned into Zoisite.
"No!" yelled the real Zoisite.
"Hehe," said fake Zoisite.
"Can you do a Jed next?" requested Jadeite.
"Shut up Jadeite," said both Zoisites.
"I'm so confused," said Nephrite.
"Typical," mocked fake Zoisite. "You're gonna end up just like Jadeite!"
"What's that supposed to mean?!" said Jadeite sadly, turning to the tied up Zoisite next to him.
"I swear!" said real Zoisite. "I'm the smartest one on the team!"
"Yes," agreed fake Zoisite.
"Stop doing that!" yelled Zoisite.
"Well actually," said Endymion.
"Hold it," said fake Zoisite. "I'll do you next. Anyway, Nephrite, you're a loser!"
"Shut up Zoisite!" said Nephrite.
"Finding the Silver Crystal is my job!" yelled Zoisite. "And also Beryl is looking for you, and she's not happy!"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" yelled Nephrite.
Zoisite didn't shut up, and Nephrite didn't know what to do.
"When I get home, I'm going to explode your vending machine that you love so much! And then I'll kill your human friend Molly!"
"NO!" shouted Nephrite. "I'll end you first, Zoisite!"
Nephrite charged and tried to land a punch but could not.
Him and Nephrake threw and blocked many punches.
Finally, he landed a kick right into fake Zoisite's face.
Nephrake fell back, and Nephrite felt a deep giddy.
"Wait a second," realized Nephrite. "This may be my only chance to beat down Zoisite without facing Kunzite's wrath! You made a big mistake, Nephrake!"
"You're a candle flickering in the wind!" yelled fake Zoisite.
Nephrite ran up and threw an extra-strong punch.
Nephrake went to block, but Nephrite's giddy was too strong.
Nephrite socked him in the face and then socked him again, but this time in the stomach.
This went on for a few more minutes, with Nephrake taking all the hits and not landing any.
He was easily defeated.
"You haven't seen the last of me!" said Nephrake, covered in blood.
He snapped his fingers and a hole opened in the wall.
He leapt out and into the distance.
"LOSER!" yelled Nephrite.
Once Nephrake was gone, his magical rope fell off the others.
"YOU DID IT MY BOY!" cheered Kenji. "YAHOO!"
"D'ah," said Jed. "I really wanted to see his Jadeite impression. Couldn't you have kept the fight going a little longer?"
"Shut up," said Nephrite.
Then he walked up to Zoisite. "That is what will happen if you ever try to face me. Watch yourself."
Zoisite didn't say anything.
"Let's go home," said Beryl, dusting herself off.
"Not so fast," said Nephrite. "How did you guys get tied up like that anyway? I can see someone like Zoisite, but Kunzite?"
Zoisite didn't say anything.
He was too traumatized from seeing himself get clobbered for many minutes.
"Well," explained Jadeite, "When we walked into the mayor's office, he told us to stand on this red X. And the next thing we knew, we were tied up."
"I see," said Nephrite.
"I can't believe you saved us," said Kunzite.
"It's always a 50/50 chance when fighting that guy," admitted Nephrite. "This time it went in my favor."
"No," said Kunzite. "I mean, you were so mad at us. I thought you'd just leave us here to die."
"Thanks for reminding me," said Nephrite. He left.
"He's a good guy," stated Kenji. "I'm sure he cares about us deep down."
Suddenly they saw the only plane fly away.
"Oh well," said Beryl. "I'm sure another one will come soon, right?"
They stayed on the island for ten more days until they remembered they could teleport.
They went home and went straight to bed, the whole bunch of them.
"How was the trip?" asked Molly.
"You're lucky you didn't go," said Nephrite. He left it at that.
FIN
