The Jaguar Versus the Wolf
Chapter 12 - Back Where I Belong
Orbiting Satellites Book Two, Chapter 12 - Nahuel's Return companion
I wasn't sure I was going to be welcome back at the Cullens, after being sent away for my behavior last year, so when I approached their house and saw Edward running out to greet me I was more than a little nervous.
Normally I would have taken a cab, after either running or taking a plane most of the way here. The Cullens were funny about scents leading up to their dwellings. But this time it couldn't be helped. I had used all my available cash to buy food on my journey. It was annoying always needing to acquire more of the stuff, I didn't know how humans did it.
"Edward… hello. I was wondering if…"
"Have a seat," he cut me off, pointing to some rocks. "Let's talk, so we don't have a repeat of last year."
He hadn't immediately ordered me away. That was as good a sign as I could hope for.
Edward immediately started in on the rules I was expected to follow if I were to live with the Cullens. It didn't go unnoticed that he stressed the word IF. Some of it was going to be a challenge. I'd specifically returned for one reason, to make Renesmee my mate.
"It is her choice who my daughter wants for a mate, Nahuel. She may choose you… or not. But do not push her. Wait for her to set the pace. If you touch her against her will, or even make a move on her before she has told you it was allowable there will be consequences." Rosalie's warning to me last year jumped into my mind and it was hard to hold back a cringe. I did NOT want any body parts ripped off. "And I do not care about her reproductive deadline. Personally I think she's too young to have children but again it's her decision. But that will not justify rushing into things with her. In fact don't even bring it up. Do you understand?" I nodded. Following his rules was going to slow things down, if not make them outright impossible but it seemed I had no choice but to agree. "Good. Also your diet…" he started to go on, and on, and on, but a minute or two in I stopped listening. The diet part I had no problem with. Not anymore. I no longer desired blood. There would be no danger of repeating my slips of the past.
"Congratulations Nahuel," he exclaimed, he'd been somewhere in the middle of his many rules on feeding when he heard my thoughts and finally stopped being enamored with the sound of his own voice to listen to me. "Not a single drop of blood… not even animal?" He seemed impressed and clearly surprised.
Just then I picked up the dogs scent. He was nearby. I thought he was going to barge in on our conversation, possibly even try to attack me, but instead he stayed back by a tree and eavesdropped.
"That's truly amazing," Edward said, ignoring the dog, seemingly shocked by my change, but at least not so angry that I'd returned. Possibly even happy.
"Yes well, after last year I realized that I had a lot of work to do. But I wanted to be worthy." Renesmee was worth it.
"I can see that. How did you do it, cutting yourself off of blood cold turkey?"
"It wasn't easy, but I knew it had to be done. I couldn't risk myself around her otherwise." Knowing he could read my mind, I flashed through some of what I went through to get to this point.
"Well you're to be commended. After feeding from that young girl last year, so close to us, I was beginning to have my doubts about you, but I'm glad to see how seriously you're taking this. It is my daughter's life after all."
"Yes I'm well aware, but there is still one more obstacle, her... wolf." I'd once called him a dog in Renesmee's presence. It hadn't gone over well. I wasn't prepared for how angry and upset Renesmee would get hearing me call him what he really was. The look she gave me almost scared me. Mentally I made a note to not make that mistake again, and refer to him as something less offensive out loud, but would never be able to think of him as anything other than a damn dirty dog in my own head. That's what he was after all. Yet I doubted it would go over any better around any of the canine loving Cullens either.
"Jacob only wants what is best for her, but you should know that he will protect her at all costs. Even disregarding his own life and safety, if necessary. If you hope to have any chance with Renesmee you will need to prove to him that you're not a threat, first." That's what I was afraid of. Edward then went on to repeat his warning from our earlier conversation, before calling to the dog to join us.
He sulked out of the tree he'd pathetically tried hiding behind. "I heard but you don't think that I would believe, for one second, anything this monster had to say?" he questioned Edward.
Bosta! It looked like I was going to have to start sucking up to him if I was going to have a chance with Renesmee. Here goes… "I don't expect you to believe me Jacob. My behavior in the past had been despicable. Especially my behavior towards you. I would ask for your forgiveness but I don't think I deserve it."
"Sorry, still don't believe you," he sneered. He shouldn't. Not the part I said about him, but I would say anything, do anything, to get Renesmee. Oh, maybe I shouldn't have thought that in front of Edward. But did it matter? Really? As long as I was nice to his daughter, did he really care what I thought about her dog?
"Jacob, I have seen inside his mind, as you're well aware. You may not trust him, but believe me, he really has changed." It seemed I would be fine. "After the unfortunate incident with the girl last year, together with your and my reaction to it, along with Nessie's rejection of him, and your protectiveness over her, Nahuel reexamined his life and made a change; a permanent one apparently. His diet is completely void of blood, human or animal. It's similar to the change in thinking Rosalie made regarding you."
The dog didn't look like he believed Edward, but what he said was true and I needed to make him believe it, if only to clear the way to Renesmee.
I was going to say something, try to convince him myself, but Edward knew the contempt I still held for the mutt and must have known my words would come out less than sincere and continued on for me.
"It's true, he doesn't even seem to crave blood anymore. It might have to do with him being only Half-Vampire and is able to exist on human food in its place," Edward said, seemingly answering some unspoken question by the dog. "Renesmee is still growing, Jacob. Perhaps she can make a similar change when she stops growing so rapidly and her body ceases to change." "Jacob, I have not had any blood, or female companionship, for that matter, for…" how long had it been? Forty-two days. That counted as more than a month. We were in multiples territory. "Months," I replied, honestly (enough).
Instead of talking to me the dog addressed Edward. "You're sure?"
I held my breath waiting for his reply. "Completely." Thank goodness! "He could be," Edward continued after a few seconds. The dog's silent questions were beyond annoying. "But I don't think he is. I believe he is telling the truth."
"That does not mean he won't change back though, does it?" the dog asked.
"It would be highly unlikely. It is hard enough for a Vampire to change once, to do it twice is practically unheard of."
"But there is a chance; he's not a Full-Vampire. Things are different with him. The fact that he was even able to make this change proves it."
"Jacob, please believe me," I finally jumped in. "I would never want to hurt Renesmee. That's why I tried so hard to do this. So that I might get the opportunity to be worthy of her.
"We'll see. I'll be keeping an eye on you while you're here. And just how long do you plan on staying this time?"
"Actually, I was hoping to stay with you, permanently. I wish to make this my home." At least until my goal was accomplished. If my plan was to work, and in time to have a child, I needed to start immediately to woo her and to that end I needed to be as close to Renesmee as possible. "One of the comments she made to me, the last time I was here, was that she didn't know me very well. I was hoping to remedy that. I had thought the time we'd spent together during my past visits for her birthdays would be enough, but it seems I was wrong."
"You want to move in with us?" Clearly, by the disgusted look on his face, the idea appalled the dog.
"Nahuel, while I applaud your... perceptiveness that you need to get to know my daughter better, and are willing to spend the time to do so, your desire to live under the same roof as her would be highly inappropriate at this time. Also I'm afraid that we simply do not have the room, as you're well aware. I'm more than happy to see if we can arrange for you to stay in the guest room at Carlisle and Esme's house again. I'm sure they would be more than willing to accommodate you."
"That's," not exactly disappointing, he wasn't saying I couldn't say, just not as close as I would hope, "wonderful to hear. I believe I have a lot of work to do to before we begin mat-"
"Don't get ahead of yourself," the dog snapped. "Just because you will be getting to know Nessie better doesn't mean she will develop feelings for you. And besides she is not old enough. She won't even be four years old for another week."
"Yes, she made that clear, on my last visit as well. You do not believe her thinking has changed on that matter?"
What was wrong now? The dog looked like he wanted to rip my head off.
"You can get to know her, possibly even become friends, but that's all for now," Edward spoke up, cutting him off from whatever he was about to say. "Jacob is right. She is not even four. She's still a child."
"Really, because she probably looks like an adult by now. What does she appear now... twenty? That seems plenty old enough."
"IT IS NOT!" They both shouted in unison.
"And she looks seventeen, maybe eighteen, at the most," Edward added. That also seemed old enough but I had a feeling she could be over a hundred and she'd still be seen as a child in her father's eyes. "Nahuel, for now I would suggest you just let her get to know you better. She has time still for the other part. I do not want her rushing into anything," he said, repeating his warning from before.
"Alright Edward, I'll not attempt anything with her... yet." But as her deadline drew nearer I might have to change tactics, no matter what he thought. "However, I do believe you're incorrect. She is more mature than you give her credit for. But I'll back off, for now." That seemed to satisfy him. Now for the dog, I didn't want him ripping my arm off the next time I went to kiss her. "Jacob, I do not want to do anything that would cause you, as her protector, to take action against me. Do I have your word that you will not interfere with my desire to begin a... deeper friendship with her?"
It didn't look like he was going to agree, but then Edward unexpectedly stepped in, and spoke up on my behalf, "Jacob, you know she deserves to be able to choose who she wants to be with."
"Fine," he eventually gave in, the growl heavy in his words, "I won't try and stop you. But just know I'll be watching".
"Thank you, now can we go, I would like to -"
"I think it's a little late in the night for any of that," Edward cut me off. "If you would like, I'll permit you to say hello to her, provided she is even still awake at this hour, but anything beyond that will have to wait until tomorrow," Edward told me.
The run to the house was quick, and didn't leave me a lot of time to think about what I was going to say to Renesmee when I saw her, but it didn't matter. Apparently Edward hadn't told her it was me that had come, and what I first thought was happiness at my return turned out to just be relief that he and the dog hadn't rushed out to some unknown danger. I didn't get to say much to her, beyond hello, before she went to bed for the night. At least she did promise to speak with me the next day. I would have been offended but could tell by the multiple yawns that escaped her lips (those sweet, plump, delicious lips) that her excuse was genuine.
Carlisle was not at home, but Esme already had the guest room ready for me when I made my way over to their house next door.
"Nahuel, so good to see you again. Alice just left. She restocked your closet, and tomorrow we can talk about decorating the room if you are planning on staying."
That was easy. I didn't even need to ask. Must make things like this easier having a psychic in the group. "Thank you," was all I managed to say before she ushered me into the room, mentioning how tired I looked. I was just going to rest for a few minutes before unpacking my bag, but fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
The next morning I awoke to an empty stomach. Running really works up an appetite, but my raid on Carlisle and Esme's fridge came up empty.
Sometime while I slept Carlisle had returned. He was surprised at my change in diet, not that I had gone into it, but he must have guessed some part of it, just by my actions, and informed me that I would need to go to Edward and Bella's house if I was looking for something to eat.
"I didn't think you liked human food," Nessie said as I took a seat next to her in her kitchen. I thought the same of her, but she just popped a piece of fruit in her mouth, herself.
"I've always been able to eat this… stuff, but just preferred my meals a little higher on the food chain," I admitted.
"You're staying at the Doc and Esme's place," the dog scowled. "Too good to eat over there?" He was devouring a plate of some sort of geometric cake that was covered in a liquidy sugar substance and fruit. It smelled delicious.
"They don't have any food over there," I replied, careful to keep my tone even. "And no offence to Esme, but I prefer the view over here," I said, eyeing Renesmee. Never too early to begin making my intentions known.
"Would you like some waffles, Nahuel?" Bella asked, holding a plate that mirrored the one she made for the dog.
"Thank you," I said as I grabbed it.
"Nahuel, I'm going shopping with my Aunt Alice after breakfast for some new school clothes," she said, "but I would love to catch up later."
Oh, I had hoped to talk to her sooner. "I would like to speak to you as well. Could we talk now… over breakfast?"
"I guess that works. Did what you wanted to tell me have anything to do with you eating human food now?" she asked in amazement as she watched me shove a giant forkful of whatever it was I was eating into my mouth.
"In part," I replied. "As you've probably guessed I've given up blood. No blood, human or animal, has passed my lips in almost a year." Okay, so that wasn't technically a lie, I said almost. As we continued to eat I gave her an edited version of what I went through, minus any dates.
We were almost done with breakfast, and my story, when Alice and Jasper came in. Although he had only heard the tail end of it, Jasper began pestering me with question after question about my experience.
"How did you do it?" "Did you cut yourself off from humans, or immerse yourself in with them?" "What about animal blood?" "Do you still crave human blood?" "What about animal blood?" "When did the cravings end?" "What about if there is open blood around you?" "Have you tried…" he went on and on, but I didn't want to tell him exactly what and why I did what I did. Admitting, in front of Renesmee, that I was motivated by the fear that I might lose control and drain her would most likely eliminate any chance I had with her, especially because it took many more attempts with Renesmee stand-ins to succeed than I hoped. Instead I just kept my answers vague.
"It was something I had to do," I said but could see he was looking for more. "Jasper, picture life without Alice. Could you change your diet, not only giving up human blood, but even your desire for it, if it meant that that was the only way to keep her?"
"I see," he said, probably giving up on getting a real answer from me. "Thank you for your time. I'll catch up with you more, later," he said to me, before taking off as his mate grabbed Renesmee and whisked her away to go shopping.
That left me sitting alone at the table with the dog.
Bella and Edward were probably around here somewhere, but I didn't see them. It was time to leave. While I hadn't finished eating, I'd lost my appetite all the same. Esme was probably waiting for me anyway. Carlisle had mentioned how excited she was to get started redecorating the guest room and make it MY room. I wasn't sure what she meant. Alice had bought me more clothes, so I would not stand out amongst their neighbors and there was a bed, a very comfortable bed, in there already for me to sleep in. What more did I need?
Four hours later I was in color scheme hell. What did it matter what color the walls were? For that matter I couldn't understand why she was so concerned about my preference for wood species. It wasn't until we got to the subject of plants that I got excited. I'd lived most of my life outside, in the Brazilian Rainforest. Having a little of the outdoors inside was something that I greatly appreciated. Lampshade silhouettes… not so much.
