"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"
Nephrite marched in. "Alright Jed, are you ready to go?"
"Ah, yeah, I forgot we had that planned for today. Goodbye, Beryl. I may never see you again."
"Wait, wait, wait," said Beryl. "Where are you going?"
"Well first I'm going to hell," said Jadeite. "And then I'm going straight to heaven. Farewell."
Jadeite left, leaving Beryl in a state of deep confusion.
Jadeite met with the other Shitennou in the meeting room.
"I forgot we had this place," said Zoisite.
"So what exactly are we doing again?" asked Kunzite. "I had this date marked on my calendar, but I don't remember why."
"We are going to fight the big man in the sky," reminded Nephrite.
"Huh?" said Kunzite. "That's foolish!"
"Yes," admitted Nephrite. "But there's no other way."
"Yes," agreed Jadeite. "It's time to take on the big G-man himself."
Kenji quietly picked up and left the meeting room. He did not want to be associated with any of this.
"What a coward," said Grandpa, after he left. "Don't worry boys, I'm in it for the long haul."
"You're shaking," said Zoisite.
"No," lied Grandpa, vibrating like a jackhammer.
"There's no need to be worried," said Jadeite. "We are the Great Four, plus Grandpa! We will win this fight for sure! But first we have to make a quick pit-stop in hell."
"You guys go ahead," said Grandpa. "Unfortunately I'm not allowed to step foot in hell anymore."
"Where will you go when you die?" asked Kunzite.
"I won't," laughed Grandpa. "I'll go gather the rest of the team."
The Shitennou walked through the gates of hell.
"Hey!" yelled the gatekeeper. "I've heard about you boys."
Jadeite threw a punch, ending the gatekeeper.
They entered hell.
Satan instantly appeared in front of them.
"Well, well, well," said Satan. "You guys have a lot of nerve, picking a fight on my turf."
"No, wait," said Kunzite.
But Satan didn't wait and threw a punch.
Kunzite was tossed into a pit of lava.
He climbed out only sustaining minor injuries.
Jadeite shot lightning out of his palm, and Nephrite shot a Starlight Attack.
Satan slapped the moves away with a single slap.
"Wait," repeated Kunzite. "We are here to team with you!"
"Team," pondered Satan. "I'm not quite sure I know what that word means."
"We will work together to take down the big G-man," explained Nephrite.
"What?!" exclaimed Satan. "You're serious?"
"Ye," said the Shitennou.
Satan started to get giddy. "I've waited too LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG for this! Let's go!"
The Shitennou and Satan met up at Hikawa Shrine.
"Greetings," said Grandpa.
"Hey," said Satan. "I didn't know this fiend would be accompanying us."
"It's the only way," said Kunzite. "We need our most powerful fighters. Speaking of which, Grandpa, did you gather the forces?"
"Yes," said Grandpa, gesturing to a small pack. It consisted of Melvin, Motoki, and Motoki's mom.
"Not even Chad?" asked Zoisite.
"No," said Grandpa shaking his head sadly. "Chad just took off running when I mentioned our plans. He said he didn't want to be associated with this."
"Pathetic," said Kunzite.
"So where are we going again?" asked Melvin. "I hope it's to the fair!"
"Something like that," said Grandpa. "Just get your camera ready and record this whole thing. This is one for the history books."
"I'm ready," said Motoki, cracking his knuckles. "For the record, I'm not fond of any of you guys, especially Zoisite and Satan, but I have to stick it out for personal reasons."
"Let's sock it to 'em!" yelled Motoki's mom.
The group arrived at the staircase to heaven.
"Don't they have an elevator?" complained Satan.
"They do," said Zoisite. "But I think it would be dangerous to get in."
Just as he said that, a storm started brewing above them.
A lightning bolt shot right at them, but Kunzite put up a forcefield and absorbed it.
"He knows we're coming," said Grandpa grimly. "Let's get a move on."
"Wait, who knows we're coming?" asked Melvin, getting nervous.
They climbed the first step.
"WAIT!" yelled Beryl running over. "What is this, some kind of jamboree?!"
"We're taking on the big man in the sky," explained Jadeite. "You're welcome to join us."
"Mmmmm," said Beryl, thinking it over. "Where's Evil Endymion?"
"I didn't want to ask him," said Kunzite. "But Grandpa insisted we did. However, he ran away and said he did not want to be associated with this."
"D'ah," said Beryl. "Do you think if I tagged along and we pulled this off he would respect me?"
"Yes," lied Kunzite.
"Alright," decided Beryl. "Just let me get my portable ball."
They waited patiently while Beryl retrieved her portable ball.
Kunzite had to block many lightning bolts.
Beryl finally returned with her staff thing.
"Let's go," she said.
They began the long climb to heaven.
About 20 feet up, they looked down to see a giant wave crashing at the bottom of the steps.
"Spooky," said Motoki. "We're not even near water."
They continued for a long time.
Many hours passed.
"I can't wait to see what heaven looks like," said Jadeite. "I could have never dreamed of setting foot here."
"Wait," said Melvin, skidding to a halt. "Are you planning what I think you're planning!?"
"Yes," said Jadeite.
"I don't want to be associated with this!" cried Melvin, legging it down the steps.
"Goodbye," said Nephrite. "You weren't useful anyway."
Melvin only made it a couple steps before the bottom of the staircase was zapped by lightning and exploded.
With no way down, he was forced to continue onward, shivering like a leaf.
The pack reached the Golden Gates.
Jadeite ran up and tried to yank them open.
"It won't budge," he said.
"Step aside," said Satan.
He summoned his pitch fork, and swung it like an axe, ending the Golden Gates.
They marched straight into heaven.
There were a bunch of angels hanging around, but they instantly fled at the sight of Satan and his oddball crew barging through heaven.
"Stop it right there!" yelled Queen Serenity's angel.
"Hey I remember you," said Kunzite. "And I have a bone to pick with you!"
Kunzite socked angel Serenity in the face, and she collapsed to the ground.
"There's no Silver Crystal here," reminded Kunzite, putting her to rest once more.
"Heh heh," said Beryl. "I wonder where people go when they die in heaven."
"Hell," explained Satan.
"Good, good!" cheered Beryl. "We'll have to pay her another visit later, if we make it out of this one. Which I'm pretty sure we won't."
"Hey, don't talk like that," said Jadeite optimistically. "Probably at least one of us will be able to escape."
"I hope it's me," said Zoisite.
"I'll make sure it's not Melvin," swore Nephrite. "Even if I have to take him down myself."
Melvin started to sob, knowing his life was over.
"Hey," said Grandpa. "Are you taking pictures?"
"Yes," sobbed Melvin. "But I don't have any Wi-Fi up here, so I can't upload them."
Grandpa frowned. "Toss the camera down to Earth before you drop dead."
"Will do," agreed Melvin.
They reached a door, and sensed a strong presence on the other side.
"Don't be fooled," said Satan. "He's only suppressing his power level. It goes much higher."
Kunzite gulped. "Whelp, let's do this everyone."
They swung open the doors, and inside was the big man himself.
"I've been expecting you," said Big G.
"Who created you, great beast?" asked Melvin.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Beryl, spawning a giant crystal over her head. She threw it at the creator.
He caught it between his fingers.
"Yikes," said Kunzite.
Jadeite shot lightning out of his palms, catching the beast off-guard.
It didn't physically damage him, but it created a big cloud of smoke from the explosion.
Grandpa transformed into a cross-eyed lobster, and threw himself with all he had.
He was lost in the smoke, and everyone could only assume what happened.
"Are you gonna stand there or are you gonna fight?" Kunzite shouted at the big man.
He spawned his boomerangs, but before he could throw them, Grandpa was tossed out of the smoke.
He landed on his feet, but then toppled over.
Satan powered up.
"I've waited too LOOOOOOOONG for this!" he repeated. "AHHHHHHHH!"
He charged with his pitchfork, and began exchanging blows at top speeds.
Their scrap was so powerful that space and time itself were being destroyed around them.
"Are you getting all this, Melvin?" asked Jadeite.
Melvin was shaking in his boots, so he wasn't able to answer.
"Stop that," said Jed. "Steady the camera."
Kunzite closed his eyes and focused on where the battle was taking place.
Finally, he sensed the perfect opening, and threw his boomerangs at top speeds.
The big man stopped in his place and leapt out of the way. While in mid-air, he extended his hand, and shot lightning out of his palm.
"Hey!" yelled Jadeite.
But suddenly there was a blinding light, and Kunzite tried to put up his forcefield to block.
Unfortunately, it wasn't strong enough, and Kunzite was ended.
When the light dimmed, all that remained of Kunzite was his boots.
Satan swung his pitchfork, but his opponent blocked with his arm, and threw a powerful kick, tossing Satan.
Grandpa suddenly appeared behind the Big G, and threw an overhead mallet punch, catching the Big G off-guard.
The Big G turned around, and grabbed Grandpa with his giant hand.
Grandpa tried to struggle free, but the big man was intent on crushing him to death in his palm.
Right when Grandpa thought he was history, Satan appeared right next to him and swung down his pitchfork right at the big man's arm, causing him to drop Grandpa to the ground.
The creator clenched his arm and threw a backhand, tossing Satan far away.
Grandpa scurried back to the others, and they all grouped up, knowing they had to defend themselves until Satan returned.
"Now's my chance!" yelled Beryl.
She pulled out a jar.
"What's in there?" asked Jadeite.
"Metalia," explained Beryl. "I will fuse with her and take on the almighty."
"No way!" said Nephrite. "Let me fuse with Metalia. I'm much stronger than you!"
"Proof?" said Beryl. "I have better feats. I took out THE Jadeite and THE Zoisite."
"When they were weakened," said Nephrite.
"Sorry," said Beryl. "It's not happening."
"Come on!" pleaded Nephrite. "I've never tried it before, I just want to know what it feels like!"
"Sorry," said Beryl. "My mind is set."
She opened the jar and fused with Metalia.
"AHHHHHHH!" howled the beast.
Super Beryl fired a dark energy attack, but the almighty swatted it away with little effort.
Super Beryl charged, and locked arms with the beast.
"Go Beryl!" cheered Jadeite.
"She doesn't stand a chance," said Zoisite sadly. "Super Beryl doesn't even come up to 25% of Satan."
Right on cue, the big man threw a kick so powerful that Beryl and Metalia were separated.
Beryl fell to the ground and died, but since Metalia was more gas than solid, she survived the fall.
She screeched and threw herself at the creator.
The creator summoned a tornado and swept away the gaseous behemoth, and she was never seen again.
All the others leapt out of the way of the tornado, except for Motoki who got caught right in the middle.
He was torn to shreds.
"NOOOO!" howled Motoki's mom. She ran up and threw a punch, but the big man threw a chop, tossing her out of commission.
She suffered inhuman pain and they all looked away sadly as she howled for mercy.
Grandpa went to charge again, but suddenly Satan reappeared and delivered a critical stab with the pitchfork.
"Ack!" yelled the creator.
Satan pushed the pitchfork deeper into his back.
The creator tried to reach it, but unfortunately it was in a spot on his back he couldn't reach.
Grandpa took this opportunity to throw himself again, but the almighty was ready, and threw a backhand, instantly obliterating Grandpa and his granddaughter Rei.
Satan threw a leaping kick, and the big man stumbled back.
Jadeite, Nephrite, and Zoisite shot a combined attack, but all it did was anger the beast, and failed to topple him as they had hoped.
He regained his balance, and shot a lightning beam right at the three remaining Shitennou.
Nephrite leapt into the air, and threw himself at the attack, taking 100% of the damage before it could reach the other two Shitennou.
"Drat," said Jadeite.
Nephrite was no more.
"Odd guy," said Zoisite. "I would have just let it hit all of us."
"He was a true hero," said Jadeite. "We have to avenge him!"
"I'm good," said Zoisite. "I'm just going to see how this pans out. Hey Melvin, are you still filming?"
Melvin was laying there dead. They were not sure if he had been taken down in some of the crossfire, or if he had had a heart attack.
"All Nephrite did was delay the inevitable," chuckled the almighty.
He charged up another lightning bolt, but Satan ran in and threw a sock.
The man in the sky retaliated with a swift elbow, sending Satan straight into the ground.
"I've had enough of you, Satan!" yelled the omniscient. He threw an overhead mallet punch into the ground, instantly ending heaven and sending everyone spiraling to the ground.
Satan landed on the sharp tip of a mountain and got impaled and died.
Jadeite and Zoisite luckily landed in the water. They swam to the surface.
"Are we safe?" asked Zoisite.
"Not exactly," said Jed. "I feel his power nearby."
"What do we do?" asked Zoisite.
"Let's try to run to hell," said Jadeite. "I don't think he can reach us there!"
They started legging it towards the gates of hell, but they only made it 10 feet before the big man appeared in front of them.
Zoisite fell back in shock.
Jadeite readied himself.
"This is the end," said the big man.
But when all hope looked lost, Motoki's mom leapt out of a river at incredible speed, almost humanly impossible for someone that had that many broken bones.
The G man flicked her away, and she fell into a tree and crumpled to the ground.
"A determined one, she is," he said. "It is no matter."
Jadeite was just about to lose hope, when he spotted a plane flying in the sky.
"Aha!" said Jadeite. He thought hard, and took control of the plane.
He shot it directly at the big man's neck.
Kenji was one of the 200 passengers aboard the plane. He was sitting next to Shingo.
"I'm glad I didn't involve myself with those guys' tom-foolery," he told Shingo.
Then the plane blew up.
"Have I wounded him?" wondered Jadeite.
"No," said Zoisite sadly. "His power level didn't drop at all and is still exponentially increasing."
Jadeite got down on his hands and knees.
"What a big mistake we've made," he said. "We should have been more prepared, instead of just charging in blindly!"
"Goodbye, Jadeite," said Zoisite. "I won't go down without a slight disruption."
He charged up his all-powerful fire attack, and he honestly didn't think he'd have the time to do it.
But a miracle happened and he was granted enough time.
He threw the fire at max power straight into the G man's spine.
He didn't even wait for the attack to finish before he sighed. "I know this won't work," he said. "It didn't even work on Sailor Moon."
Zoisite leapt up onto the almighty's neck, and held on for dear life.
"I'll be coming to join you real soon, Kunzite!" he called out.
Then he lit up and combusted with a self-sacrifice attack.
The big man wiped the dust off his face and cracked his knuckles.
Jadeite took his own life as the fist came down.
"That's the end of that," said the almighty. "Time to rebuild heaven."
But suddenly, he heard a grunt, and his eyes widened.
Beside the tree, Motoki's mom slowly got to her feet.
"I-impossible!" thought the great one. "Every single one of her bones has to be broken, but here she is standing! That determination!"
He took a step back in fear.
"I'm not done with you yet!" howled Motoki's mom, spitting blood. "I will kill you!"
She charged with all she had, and the great one took her down.
"Wow," he said still panting. "She was really determined."
Everyone woke up in hell, including Satan.
"That was a wallop," said Kunzite, who had been waiting for the rest of them to show up for quite some time.
"I should have never associated with this," groaned Motoki. "Now I'm in hell, for how long!? I was a good guy! I just made one error right before my death!"
"Thanks a lot, Jadeite," whined Kenji. "Did you have to use our plane?"
"Sadly there was no other option," said Jadeite. "I almost did some damage. Hey, where's Shingo?"
"I didn't let him come with me to hell," said Kenji. "He's in limbo."
"Sad," said Zoisite.
"I can't believe I took that blast and then you guys didn't win," said Nephrite.
"We were the only ones left," said Jadeite. "Except for Satan and Mama Motoki. But you should have known that Satan didn't stand a chance."
"Hey now," said Satan. "If it was the best day of all our lives I think we could have pulled a win. Especially if we had coordinated or planned first."
"Ah, that's what we forgot to do," said Kunzite.
That's when the big G man himself appeared.
"When will it end?!" cried Zoisite.
Motoki charged with a suckerpunch, and Grandpa transformed.
Satan summoned another pitchfork, and Beryl fused with Metalia.
"Oh brother," groaned Nephrite.
FIN
