"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"
"Jadeite, I've found a potential location of the Silver Crystal!" began Beryl.
"The Silver who?" said Jadeite.
Beryl sighed. "Do I really need to call the others?"
"No!" said Jadeite. "Let me participate! I spent all morning thinking of new sources of energy, but I just couldn't come up with them! This Silver who-now will be the perfect task to clear my mind!"
"Wait a minute," said Beryl. "The first thing you said to me was that-"
"I know, I know," said Jadeite. "Now tell me the location!"
"The New Ayami mall," explained Beryl. "There's a store called "Jewelry Depo" that has an item that might be what we're looking for!"
"On it!" said Jadeite, dashing out the door. "I better hurry before the other Shitennou try to take my plan!"
Jadeite flew into the mall at top speeds.
He landed on the ground, sending a shockwave that tossed several people.
Then, he dashed over to a mall map.
"Ah, there it is!" said Jadeite. "Number 37!"
"Ah, there it is, number 37!" said Nephrite.
Jadeite did a double take, and saw the other three Shitennou there.
"Hey!" said Jadeite. "Beryl gave this task to me!"
"Sorry," said Zoisite. "The early bird gets the worm."
"Or is it the bagel?" asked Kunzite.
"That doesn't make any sense," said Zoisite, but Nephrite and Jadeite were gone. "No!"
Jadeite finally made it to the front of the line after shoving ten people to the floor.
"I would like to buy that large jewel in the display!" cried Jadeite.
"Noooooo!" screamed Nephrite, charging Jadeite with all he had. "It is I who would like to buy that large jewel in the display!"
"Okay," said the cashier. "Let me ring you up. Do you have a card?"
"Not an Earth card," said Nephrite. "Let me write a check."
Jadeite hopped to his feet and grabbed the checkbook.
He took off in a sprint.
"Come back here!" yelled Nephrite, using his powers to slam the store door in Jadeite's face.
He grabbed his checkbook but Jadeite held on for dear life.
Suddenly, Zoisite and Kunzite appeared in the store.
"This is a robbery!" said Zoisite. He shattered the glass of the exhibit and nabbed the jewel.
Jadeite came flying like a projectile, but Kunzite put up a wall and Jed fell to the floor.
But that's when Nephrite got Zoisite from behind and snapped him like a twig, discarding him into the wall and nabbing the crystal.
Kunzite put 'em up, but Nephrite tried to teleport away.
However, Jadeite was hanging onto his foot.
"GET OFFA ME!" screamed Nephrite. "YOU FOOL!"
Kunzite blasted Nephrite and Jadeite, and then picked up the crystal.
Nephrite hopped to his feet for round two, but Kunzite shook his head.
"This is just a mere gem," stated Kunzite. "It is not what we are looking for."
"Ah," said Nephrite.
That's when Nephrite snatched the gem and tossed Kunzite into the door.
"Nice bluff!" laughed Nephrite. "I wouldn't want to face me either!"
Nephrite teleported to the Negaverse.
"Queen Beryl!" called Nephrite. "I have found the Silver Crystal!"
"YAHOO!" howled Beryl.
She grabbed Nephrite by the arm and dragged him to Metalia's chambers in a wild gid.
"What is this place?" asked Nephrite.
"Metalia-sama!" called Beryl. "We got it!"
"Got what?" asked Metalia.
"The Silver Crystal!" said Beryl.
"Oh, that old thing," recalled Metalia. "Feed it to me."
Queen Beryl threw it into Metalia.
There was a loud roar.
"Oh, that thing is Metalia," realized Nephrite. "I never knew she was an egg."
"She's not an egg, bozo," said Queen Beryl. "She's in an incomplete form. But now that she has consumed the Crystal-"
That's when Metalia spit out the crystal.
"Yuck," said Metalia. "This is just a mere gem."
"No!" cried Nephrite. "I should have checked it with my Black Crystal first! That fiend Kunzite set me up! He told me it was the real crystal! Or, at least his body language did…"
Nephrite teleported back to the mall and placed the crystal on its original stand.
"My bad," he told the shop owner.
Kunzite stood there with a smug expression.
"Can it," said Nephrite.
All four Shitennou left the jewel store.
"Well that was a bust," said Jadeite. "Let's go hit the Japanese Apple store, and play with the phones!"
"We should just steal a phone," said Kunzite. "Then we can play with it forever."
"Sorry, that won't do," said Nephrite. "It's only fun to play with in the store, not to keep."
They went in the Apple store.
"Hey Neph," began Jed. "Something just crossed my mind. Where did you get your hot rod from?"
"I took it from a car shop," said Nephrite. "I said I'd take it out for a test drive and then drove home."
"Smart," said Zoisite.
Zoisite went on Google, and started snickering.
"What are you doing?" asked Nephrite.
Zoisite didn't respond for a while, and then he turned off the phone.
"Run!" he said.
"What!? Why?!" demanded Jadeite.
Everyone legged it and he was forced to follow.
Kunzite was not pleased. "I was about to beat Angry Birds," he said.
"What's the point if you can't keep the save data?" asked Nephrite.
"It's my resolve," explained Kunzite. "Why did we have to leave?"
Zoisite was still snickering. "I put pornography as the wallpaper! And then I put a password on the phone so that they can't change it! And then I used my Negapowers to permanently keep the password on! That phone is ruined."
"Good work," said Jadeite. "At least we accomplished something today. I guess let's head back."
"Wait!" said Zoisite. "What's that over there?"
"That's a fountain, dumb kid," said Nephrite.
"No," said Zoisite. "It looks like a wishing fountain!"
"No such things exist," said Jadeite.
"Kunzite, can I have a quarter?" asked Zoisite.
"Okay," said Kunzite, pulling out his wallet. "Only one though."
"Yippee!"
Zoisite thought for a second and made a wish.
He tossed the coin.
"What did you wish for?" asked Kunzite.
"It's a secret," said Zoisite.
The Shitennou left.
"So, I bothered Metalia for no reason thanks to the four of you being foolish," began Beryl.
"Shut up, Beryl," said Jadeite.
Queen Beryl gasped.
It took very long for what just happened to sink in.
That's when Beryl got mad.
"You've been warned for the last time! You won't disobey me again!" yelled Beryl. She charged up her crystal ball.
Jadeite teleported away.
"What's gotten into him?" asked Zoisite in admiration.
"If he's not going to die for that outburst, then someone will!" said Beryl.
Beryl turned to Zoisite.
"Hey!" said Zoisite. "I didn't do anything!"
"It's too late for that," said Beryl.
Zoisite started his long teleport transition, but the energy from Beryl's ball caused the petals to get blown away.
"No!" said Zoisite. "If I can't teleport in style, I can't teleport at all!"
The ball was almost ready, and Beryl went to shoot the attack.
That's when she dropped dead.
"RIP," said Nephrite.
"Riperoo," said Zoisite. "Hey, wait a second! Why did Beryl die?!"
"Nothing's been right today," said Nephrite.
"Beryl, no!" yelled Kunzite.
Kunzite started to cry, and cradled Beryl's corpse.
"Curse you!" said Zoisite. "You didn't even cry when I died! All you said was 'I asked Beryl to revive you.' Piece of trash!"
"I also said I was sorry," said Kunzite sadly.
Zoisite frowned.
"Wait," said Jadeite reappearing. "I felt someone's power level drop to zero! I hope it was Kunzite!"
Then he saw Beryl's corpse.
"Oooh, good work, Kunzite!" said Jadeite.
"Wait, what do you mean 'I hope it was Kunzite?'" said Kunzite.
"Don't kill me too, you maniac!" yelled Jadeite.
"No," said Zoisite. "I think I know what happened. Oooooh!"
"Ooooh what?" demanded Nephrite.
"My wish came true from the wishing well! I wished for Beryl to drop dead, and she did!"
"No way," said Jadeite. "That was just a coincidence."
"No," said Zoisite, getting giddy to the extreme. "I'm gonna wish Nephrite dead next!"
"No!" cried Nephrite.
Zoisite teleported away, and Nephrite dived at him, but all he hit was open air.
Zoisite ran over to the well, spawned a quarter and threw it in.
"NOOOO!" yelled Nephrite appearing.
He quickly summoned a quarter, but knew it was too late.
"Farewell," said Zoisite.
However, Nephrite didn't die.
"What gives?!" demanded Zoisite.
"Haha," said Nephrite. "I told you it was an ordinary well. But just in case, I'll wish Zoisite dead!"
"If you wish me dead, then Kunzite will wish you dead! Or actually, Kunzite will just kill you!" exclaimed Zoisite.
"Alright," considered Nephrite. "Then I'll wish Kunzite dead, and then I'll just kill you!"
Kunzite appeared suddenly and threw a coin in the well.
"No!" cried Nephrite.
"Calm yourself," said Kunzite. "I wouldn't wish for you dead, I'd just kill you. Why waste a wish?"
"Then what did you wish for?" asked Zoisite.
Suddenly Beryl appeared. "I'm back!" she said. "What's all this nonsense about a well?"
"FOOL!" said Nephrite. "Metalia could just revive Beryl if you gave her some energy! She revived Endymion like twice!"
"D'ah," said Kunzite. "Then let me make another wish."
"Doesn't work," said Zoisite. "I think maybe everyone only gets one. Wait," said Zoisite. "Why did you waste your first wish on that?! You could have wished for something for me, but you wished Beryl back! If I had another wish, I'd wish I never knew you, Kunzite!"
Kunzite was hurt. "Why can't I have two girls?"
Zoisite stormed off.
"Wait!" said Kunzite, taking off after him.
Nephrite held his coin.
"One wish," he thought.
He tossed his coin, but it got spit right back out.
"What?!" cried Nephrite. "I can't wish for a million wishes?! D'ah. Looks like I only have one choice. I wish for immortality!"
There was a light, and then Nephrite was immortal. "Cool!" said Nephrite.
Beryl was still standing there, looking at the well.
"I wish for Endymion to love me," she said.
But that's when Nephrite socked her, and then began to pound on her.
"STOP!" said Beryl.
"NEVER!" said Nephrite, throwing her spine into his knee.
"You're gonna pay!" said Beryl.
She shot a powerful crystal ball attack, one that should have inflicted much damage.
Nephrite was tossed.
"Take that!" said Beryl.
But that's when Nephrite sprung to his feet, sustaining no damage.
He threw a mighty kick, and Beryl was no more.
"Immortality rules!" cheered Nephrite. "This is a lot funner than wishing Kunzite dead!"
Suddenly, Jadeite appeared.
"Jadeite," said Nephrite. "It turns out everyone only gets one wish. So do me a favor and wish for me to have infinite power."
"Sorry, can't do," said Jadeite. "Every man gets his wish."
"Fine," said Nephrite. "I'll let you live another day. What will you wish for?"
Jadeite smirked. "I wish for a new source of energy!"
"IDIOT!" screamed Nephrite. "Beryl died!"
"No!" said Jadeite. "Oh wait, I was there for that. Oooh!" he said suddenly. "That's a great source! I must execute it at once!"
Jadeite dashed off.
Kunzite was back in the jewelry store with Zoisite.
"See?" said Kunzite. "I'll steal you this necklace here. Do you forgive me now?"
"No," said Zoisite. "Maybe if you go kill Beryl."
"I can't," said Kunzite. "I felt her power level drop."
"Oooh!" said Zoisite. "I'm glad Nephrite made a wish for me!"
Suddenly Nephrite appeared, and threw a punch tossing Zoisite.
"Looks like you have a death wish," said Kunzite.
He fired his best attack at Nephrite, but Nephrite ate it.
"Huh?!" said Kunzite.
He tried again, at twice the strength, but Nephrite ate it.
"What did you wish for?" demanded Kunzite.
Nephrite ran up and threw a punch, however it had no effect.
"Drat," said Nephrite.
Kunzite tossed him, but he got back up.
"I guess I'll just have to fight you forever until you finally run out of energy," said Nephrite.
"NO!" yelled Kunzite.
Kunzite fled.
"Get back here!" yelled Nephrite. "I was just getting started!"
"This isn't good," thought Zoisite. "He must have wished for immortality. I will have to wish for immortality to balance it."
Nephrite teleported to Jadeite.
"Have you seen Kunzite lately?"
"No," said Jadeite. "Now leave me alone. I have to execute this source of energy. It's my resolve."
"Yeah, yeah," said Nephrite. "Just stay out of my way. And listen. You cannot tell anyone about the powers of this well! Understand?"
"Of course," said Jadeite.
Nephrite left.
"Hey Jadeite!" called Kenji, walking with Grandpa on his shoulders.
"This nice man is helping out an old timer like me," said Grandpa.
"I didn't ask," said Jadeite. "But you have to hear about this magical well we found! It's in the mall, and will grant only one wish per person!"
"Oooh!" said Grandpa. "Take me there, my boy!"
Kenji dashed off to the well on foot.
"This looks like the place," said Grandpa.
He pulled out a quarter.
"I wish for the power to turn invisible!"
Grandpa was given the power to turn invisible, and suddenly he vanished.
"Ho ho ho," said Kenji. "Smart man. If I had more wishes, I might have wished for that myself!"
Kenji thought for a long time.
"Who am I kidding?" he chuckled at last. "I wish I never had Shingo!"
Shingo faded from existence, and Kenji's happiness increased by 200%.
"My second wish would have been for some toast," stated Kenji.
He left.
Prince Endymion walked up to the well.
He threw a quarter.
"I wish for my memories back," he whispered.
He got his memories back.
"Ah!" said Mamoru Chiba.
He took off his goofy costume and went home.
Zoisite approached the well with a large bag.
He dumped the bag out, and Molly fell to the floor.
"Now don't try anything funny," said Zoisite. "If you ask for anything except for exactly what I tell you, the well will destroy you. Since I created it myself!"
"Then why do you need me?" asked Molly.
"Just don't question it," said Zoisite. "And don't wish for anything besides what I ask you to."
"Okay," said Molly, nervously.
"Good," said Zoisite. "Now, wish for Kunzite to forget about Beryl ever existing!"
"Can you repeat that?" asked Molly, not familiar with these characters.
Zoisite repeated it, and Molly made the wish.
"Good work," said Zoisite. "You're free to go."
"Really?" said Molly.
Zoisite ended Molly.
"I can't have anyone else knowing about the well."
Next, Zoisite appeared in Greg's house.
"Alright, future boy," he said. "You can see the future, so you know you can't run!"
That's when he spotted Greg.
He was dead, because he took his own life.
"D'ah," said Zoisite. "I wanted to use him since it would save the explaining."
Zoisite emptied another sack at the well, and this time a nerd fell out.
"Leave me be!" cried Melvin.
"No," said Zoisite. "Make my wish or perish!"
Melvin was shaking in his boots, and his knees were rattling like a rattle.
"What… what's your wish?" asked Melvin.
"Hmm," thought Zoisite. "Wish for Nephrite to be no more!" he decided.
"I won't do it!" screamed Melvin.
Zoisite was shocked by this reaction. "DO IT!" said Zoisite.
"I won't do it!" repeated Melvin. "Maxfield is a good friend! I love him like family, and he loves me!"
"Alright," said Zoisite. "I guess it's goodbye!"
"No!" said Melvin. He threw his glasses at Zoisite, catching Zoisite off guard.
Melvin dived into the fountain and started overhand swimming.
Zoisite took him out.
"Foolish kid," said Zoisite. "Too bad Nephrite doesn't value his friendship."
"Motoki," said Zoisite, releasing Motoki at the well. "This well grants any wish in the world, but you will use it to grant mine. Wish for anything else and the well will take you out!"
"Alright," said Motoki grimly.
He threw the coin in.
But then he started to laugh.
"For someone so bright, you're not very bright!" screamed Motoki.
"What?!" cried Zoisite. "What did you do?! NO!"
Zoisite tried to run but then dropped dead.
"HAHAHAHA!" laughed Motoki. "I finally win!"
Motoki knocked on his sister's door.
"Onee-chan!" he exclaimed. "I have discovered a way to finally make Crown Arcade the best Arcade in the world!"
"Good work," said Motoki's sister.
"Follow me!" cried Motoki, running to the mall on foot.
He explained everything to his sister.
"I see," said Motoki's sister.
She threw the coin, and read off the script Motoki wrote.
"I wish for Crown Arcade to be the only arcade that ever existed in the entire world, and that ever will exist!"
"YEEEES!" screamed Motoki.
FIN
