"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"That won't be necessary, Jadeite," said Queen Beryl. "You are relieved of your duties."

"Huh?!" said Jadeite.

Beryl handed Jadeite his pink slip with her telepathic powers.

Jadeite read it over.

"Hey!" he said. "You can't fire me!"

"Sadly," said Beryl. "It has Metalia's stamp of approval. It may look a little blurry because she's a blob and has a hard time stamping things, but it is there nonetheless."

The throne room doors were blown away, and a full riot of three stormed in.

"Queen Beryl!" said Kunzite. "This must be some mistake! I have been your loyal servant for many years! Thousands, to be exact!"

"Sorry," said Beryl. "But not sorry. I warned you boys that if you messed up again, it would be over. Did you think I'd just forget the next day?"

"Hey," said Zoisite. "It was out of our control, really!"

"Sorry," said Beryl. "But not sorry. I came to realize the only thing that sets you boys aside from others is your powers. But that was just given to you by Metalia, so anyone could be in your position. Thus, I have brought in some newcomers with better brains than you."

"No!" said Kunzite. "Impossible! We are different from the others! We have leadership skills! We led the Earth Kingdom army! Also, it's implied that we had basic combat skills, and were probably around Sailor Scout level, pre-Negaverse multiplier!"

"I'm sorry," said Beryl. "But there's just no other way. Your plans keep failing. If I need to raid the Moon Kingdom again, I'll be sure to toss you a call."

"Hey!" said Zoisite. "My plans were pretty successful!"

"Yes," said Beryl. "Like your elevator plan, right? And your crystal behind Mamoru Chiba plan, right?"

Zoisite opened his mouth but then shut it.

"That's right," said Beryl. "Keep your trap shut, all of you."

"How exactly did you have the energy to give four new randoms enough power to compete with us?" demanded Nephrite.

"Metalia went into overdrive," explained Beryl. "She will never wake up again. It's shown that she had enough power to make two Endymion power boys."

"Wait!" said Jadeite. "Who's the second?"

"Endymion," said Beryl. "When we had to hypnotize him the second time."

"See?" said Zoisite. "My crystal behind Mamoru Chiba plan was for the good of the Negaverse! Otherwise you wouldn't have been able to hypnotize him!"

"Shut up," said Beryl. "You weren't thinking about that when it happened."

There was a long sad silence, and then the Shitennou turned to leave.

"Wait," said Beryl.

Jadeite and Kunzite perked up.

"I'll need you to hand in your jackets," said Beryl. "They probably won't fit the new guys, but I'll find some use for them. They are Negaverse property, after all."

The Shitennou took off their uniforms, and all that remained were their undershirts.

Jadeite tried to take off with his uniform, but Beryl shot a beam.

He sadly took his jacket off and handed it over.

"Goodbye," said Beryl. "It was nice knowing you all. Don't be so sad, at least I let you off with your lives."

"Nice try," said Kunzite. "But we all know you can't kill the majority of us."

"Hey," said Beryl. "If I saved up a large reserve of energy in my ball, and released it in one attack, I could probably take out three out of four of you."

"Wrong," said Nephrite. "Unless you're counting Kunzite as the third."

The Shitennou went to leave, but turned around as they heard teleport effects.

"Greetings, Shitennou!" said Beryl.

"Hey!" said Jadeite, getting very angry. "I know these guys!"

The new Shitennou consisted of: Motoki in red, as the lowest ranking, Melvin in green, as another low ranker, Gamer Joe in yellow, sporting shoulder pads, and finally, Grandpa with a cape, as none other than the Shitennou leader.

"Hello boys," said Grandpa. "Are you lost? Because you don't belong here anymore."

Kunzite gritted his teeth, and Jadeite balled his fist.

Nephrite and Zoisite weren't the most mad, but Zoisite was kind of peeved that Beryl decided Melvin was a suitable replacement for him.

The four young men who were not Shitennou exited into the North Pole.

"Ah," said Beryl, once they left. "I'm counting on you four to find me the Silver Crystal and get energy."

"Yes, Queen Beryl-sama," said Motoki. "We won't let you down."

"Everything is ruled by the great and mighty crane machine," said Gamer Joe.

"Heh heh heh," said Melvin. "I won't have to fight anyone, right?"

Beryl smirked. "These are perfect matches."


The Shitennou found their way to the Shitennou meeting room.

"Roomy," said Motoki.

"Mmmm," said Gamer Joe, adjusting his glasses. "I don't know if I like the dreary atmosphere of our kingdom. There's no crane machines, only vending machines."

"I'm excited to see the specs of the PC's in the Nega computer lounge!" said Melvin. "Hopefully they can maintain high res textures and shaders for my 19k by 19k Minecraft texture pack."

"Why do you need those high res textures?" asked Gamer Joe. "At some point, aren't the pixels too small to even notice?"

Melvin let out a laugh, and then he snorted. "You have a lot to learn, four eyes!"

"Who you callin' four eyes, four eyes?!" said Joe, rolling up his sleeves.

"Easy boys, easy boys," said Motoki, breaking them apart before a fight happened.

"You got lucky," said Melvin. "Don't underestimate me!"

"So," said Grandpa, the leader. "I guess Motoki, being the lowest ranking, is up to the bat first."

"Gee," said Motoki. "That's a lot of pressure on me! Hopefully I can get the hang of this energy gathering business before it takes too long and our great queen gets impatient!"

Motoki opened up the handbook for Energy Gathering 101, written by Jadeite himself.

He read through it eagerly.

"Hmm," said Melvin, the thinker of the group. "I think we should all go out on the field together."

"I don't know about that," said Gamer Joe. "I heard that's how the Shitennou got fired last time."

"Well," snorted Melvin. "We're the Shitennou now, and we're much more competent! Plus, we haven't messed up once yet, so even if we do there will be no consequence."


Meanwhile, the ex-Shitennou met in Nephrite's house, since their key cards would no longer let them into the Negaverse.

"How rude," said Zoisite. "I didn't even get to gather my stuff. I hope Grandpa didn't take over my castle."

"I'm sure he did," said Kunzite. "His keycard will work there."

"Hmmm," said Nephrite. "You look different without your cape, Kunzite. I didn't know it was actually part of the uniform."

"It wasn't," said Kunzite sadly. "But I sewed it onto the outfit. Big mistake."

Jadeite was fuming. "How could we get replaced!?" he said. "And the most insulting part is, they replaced me with a lookalike!"

"We need to get back in," said Zoisite.

"Why?" said Nephrite. "We're a lot safer now."

"No," said Zoisite. "Finding the Silver Crystal is my job! Not a bunch of amateur humans with power-ups!"

"Also," said Kunzite. "If that batch is as competent as Beryl claims they are, they'll probably get rid of us because we're threats. That, or they'll actually succeed and destroy the universe, and that includes us because we're not Shitennou anymore."

"Say," said Jadeite. "We need to become a new team!"

"No," said Zoisite.

"Sorry," said Jadeite. "But otherwise we can't continue to meet up."

"No?" said Nephrite. "Why can't we just team up without being a team?"

Jadeite shook his head. "We can't trust each other unless we're wearing the same uniform."

"We are," said Kunzite. "We're all wearing the same undershirt and underpants."

Jadeite shook his head. "We can't be the gang of jacketless goons, who run around in their underwear. We need to form a new bond, so we can trust each other!"

"You already said that," said Zoisite.

"Sorry," said Jadeite. "I only listen to my team, which right now only has one member, me."

"Actually," said Kunzite. "I'm warming up to the idea. I can't be a team leader without a team."

"Well, we'd vote who would be the leader if we made a new team," said Nephrite.

"No," said Kunzite. "Then I'm not joining."

"Then I'm not joining," said Zoisite.

"Fine," said Nephrite. "I didn't want to be on your team anyway. I was very disgusted when I heard you'd be on the Shitennou with me. It's time for change. Me and Jed are gonna be a duo."

"Fine," said Zoisite and Kunzite, leaving.

But Jadeite threw himself into the door, blocking them.

"See what happens when we're not on the same team?!" cried Jadeite. "All we do is fight! There's no bond!"

"That's what we did when we were on a team," said Nephrite. "Except for you, who only interacted with us off-screen."

"It's called not sharing a spotlight," said Jadeite.

"I don't think I've ever met Jadeite," said Kunzite. "I've only heard rumors of there being a fourth Shitennou."

"Can it," said Jadeite. "Are we doing this or not?"

"Fine," said Nephrite.

"Fine," said Kunzite.

"Hmmm," said Zoisite. "But only until we get onto the Shitennou. After that we won't be a team anymore!"

"Whatever you say," said Jadeite. "From this day fourth, we shall be… A TEAM!"

They all put their hands in the middle and let out a holler.


"Welcome," said Grandpa. "What's your name, young boy?"

"Shingo-kun," said Shingo. "But you can call me Shingo-kun."

"Very well," said Grandpa. "Please enjoy the crane machine, young one," he said, patting the boy's head.

"Don't touch me," said Shingo, slapping his hand away.

Shingo rubbed his hands together once he arrived at the crane machine.

"Here we go!" he said. "I'm gonna win me a Sailor Moon doll!"

He pulled out his checker, and put it in the machine.

"Good luck," said Motoki. "Ah, I remember the crane machine at Crown Arcade, before I joined the Dark Kingdom."

"Shut up, old man!" said Shingle. "Why is everyone watching me?! Back off!"

The coin registered, and Shingo went to move the crane.

But then it started moving on its own.

"Huh?!" cried Shingo.

He tried to run, but the arm extended through the drop shoot, and grabbed Shingo by the neck, pulling him into the crane machine and trapping him forever.

Melvin was typing on a computer, and then he hit enter.

Just like that, Shingo's energy was sucked dry, and put into a huge energy ball Gamer Joe was holding.

"Excellent plan," said Melvin.

"Thanks," said Gamer Joe. "I couldn't have come up with it without Motoki!"

"Aww shucks," said modest Motoki.

Suddenly the lights turned off, and the Shitennou gathered together.

"Sailor Scouts!" said Grandpa. "Brace yourselves, team!"

"Wrong!" called a familiar voice.

Suddenly a spotlight appeared, revealing none other than the ex-Shitennou, in very goofy costumes.

"On guard, villains!" yelled Nephrite, getting too into character.

"Behold!" said Kunzite. "You are about to get defeated by the Clobbering Clowns!"

"Clobbering Clowns?" asked Melvin, confused.

"Wait, what?!" said Jadeite. "I thought we agreed on Team Rocket!"

"No, idiot," said Nephrite. "That's already taken! They'll think we're a bunch of manga geeks!"

"No, really," said Motoki. "What is your name again?"

Zoisite sighed. "I suggested Clobbering Clowns as a joke, and they all got excited and went with it."

"I suggested the Bouncing Bozos," said Kunzite. "But Zoisite brought up a good point when he said we weren't bouncing."

"I was the inspiration for our team name," said Jadeite. "I suggested the Four Clobberers, and Zoisite let out a sneer and said, 'Why don't we just be the Clobbering Clowns?' But unbeknowest to Zoisite, he suggested a great idea."

"No," said Zoisite. "I suggested it as a joke."

Jadeite ran up and socked Motoki with all he had, throwing him back a couple feet.

Motoki stumbled backwards, but he turned back to face Jadeite, revealing that he only sustained slight injuries.

Jadeite gasped.

"No!" he yelled.

But then Motoki leapt on top of him.

Zoisite vanished in a flurry of petals, and Melvin followed suit with a flurry of shrimp.

Gamer Joe put his hands in front of his face and began chanting. "O great crane machine, lend me your undying power!"

"O mighty stars," chanted Nephrite. "Lend me your energy!"

"Starlight Attack!" yelled Nephrite, shooting a powerful beam.

"Claw Machine Assault!" yelled Gamer Joe, firing a powerful energy attack equal to Nephrite's.

The attacks caused a large explosion, tossing Jadeite and Motoki who were laying on top of each other.

They both let out a shriek as they were tossed off into the distance.

Kunzite and Grandpa were clashing at rapid speeds.

"You're good, young one," said Grandpa, dodging seven consecutive jabs from Kunzite.

"You're lucky I'm not trying," bluffed Kunzite. "I worked hard to master my magic, unlike you, who just received a power-up!"

Kunzite threw an explosive kick, but Grandpa put up his arm, blocking it.

There was an explosion nonetheless, and once the smoke cleared, Grandpa had Kunzite by the neck.

Kunzite threw a headbutt, sending Grandpa flying since the old man was 30% head.

Kunzite summoned the Great Boomerangs of Wrath, and threw them at the old guy.

The coot did a couple amazing leaps, completely dodging them.

Kunzite collected them and they flew back to him.

But then he discarded them.

He shot a dark energy wave. "KU!" he yelled.

"GPA!" shouted Grandpa, deflecting the attack and shaking the whole room.

"You're not bad," admitted Kunzite. "But you're no match for the Negapower!"

"Hey," said Grandpa. "Negapower, Negaverse, and Negacafe are all trademarks owned by the Negaverse. You have no right to use them!"

Meanwhile, Zoisite and Melvin were having some kind of leaping contest.

Zoisite shot a flurry of petals, as Melvin slid to the side, dodging them.

Melvin shot a flurry of spicy shrimp, as Zoisite leapt out of the way.

"We're too evenly matched," thought Zoisite. "It was foolish to go against our own counterparts."

Zoisite spawned a crystal directly behind Melvin.

"Let's call a truce, nerd!" said Zoisite.

"Sorry," said Melvin. "I don't team with n00bs."

"You're the noob!" yelled Zoisite. He threw the crystal, but Melvin caught it.

"Heh," chuckled Melvin, adjusting his glasses. "Haven't you ever played an RPG?"

"A what?" said Zoisite.

"I, however," said Melvin. "Have spent countless hours remembering the movesets of all my characters. And while I enact PvP, I act out the moves as my character does them, to form a true bond that many strive for, between the user and his avatar."

"Wow," said Zoisite, scratching his head. "What a nerd!"

That's when Melvin switched to Warlock class, and fired a mana bolt, taking Zoisite for a ride.

Zoisite tried to tank it, but everyone knows mana bolts have shield piercing, and Zoisite was further taken for a ride.

"Geez," said Zoisite, after he hit the wall and stood up. "You'd think with my endurance of receiving a blast from the Moon Wand and then a blast from Beryl and living for a while, I wouldn't take so much damage. That must mean the nerd's defenses are very low!"

"Ha," scoffed Nephrite, who was clashing swords with Gamer Joe. "My endurance feats far surpass yours."

"I know that!" said Zoisite. "But-"

But while he was distracted, Melvin had swapped classes to Berserker, and started throwing many blows, completely overwhelming Zoisite.

Zoisite spawned a crystal, and tried to stab Melvin, but Melvin blocked it.

"No!" said Zoisite. "Your defenses are so low, but your speed is so high! How can I hope to compete?!"

Melvin closed the gap, using his strategic expertise, and threw a punch into Zoisite's stomach, finishing him off.

"Man down!" called Jadeite.

"Drat!" said Nephrite. "I should have known Zoisite would be the first to drop! But for such a smart guy, he wasn't very bright in battle!"

Nephrite threw a leaping kick, but Gamer Joe dodged, and threw a Grand Slam, tossing Nephrite.

Nephrite slid across the ground, but retaliated with a Cyclone Punch, sending Gamer Joe flying into the air.

Nephrite shot a beam from his palm, taking Gamer Joe through the ceiling.

"Easy," said Nephrite.

That's when Melvin flew in as a Tank class.

Nephrite threw many blows, but they didn't seem to be doing any damage.

Finally, Nephrite's stamina started to leave him, and Melvin switched to Paladin class.

Nephrite knew he was finished.

"How could I lose to this nerd?!" called Nephrite, taking the plunge.

"No!" said Jadeite. "I have to quickly finish off Motoki, so I can assist the others!"

Jadeite fired lightning out of his palms, but Motoki leapt into the air.

They began spinning around each other, and they both tackled each other at the same instant.

They bounced off each other and both landed on their feet.

"Heh," said Jadeite. "I haven't had a fight like this in a while!"

"Eat tokens, kid!" yelled Motoki. He fired a barrage of arcade tokens, and Jadeite leapt into the air.

They spun around each other for a long time, and they both tackled each other at the same instant.

While they were still colliding, Jadeite threw an overhead mallet punch, sending Motoki plummeting to the ground.

"Easy," said Jadeite.

But that's when Grandpa flew in and ended him.

"Hey!" yelled Kunzite. "I'm your opponent!"

"Sorry," said Grandpa, returning to Kunzite in an instant. "I saw the opening and knew it would only take a split second."

Melvin appeared behind Grandpa, as did Gamer Joe and Motoki as they slid in.

Kunzite put up his boxing gloves, but then realized that a 4v1 was not good odds.

In an uncharacteristic turn of events, he put up his hands in surrender.

But they showed him no mercy, and pummeled him, sending him flying out of the building with an explosion.

"You haven't seen the last of us!" said Zoisite, disappearing with a flurry of petals.

"Yeah, what he said!" said Jadeite, leaving in a portal.

"The Clobbering Clowns may have lost this battle, but you have lost this war!" said Nephrite, leaping back and vanishing.

"Heh," scoffed Grandpa. "Despite our powers being even, we managed to pull the upperhand. This proves we are the most competent Shitennou."

"Easy," said Melvin. "With enough grinding and practice, anyone can be good."

"That was a good fight," said Motoki. "Now, who held the energy ball for Joe?"

"I thought I left it with you?" said Joe.

"Uh oh," said Melvin. "Queen Beryl's not gonna like this."


The Clobbering Clowns retreated to Nephrite's mansion, AKA their hideaway.

"Ouch," said Kunzite. "What a smackdown."

"Sad," said Nephrite. "I defeated my opponent, but then Zoisite's opponent that he was unable to defeat came in."

"Yeah," said Jadeite. "And Kunzite couldn't keep his eye on his opponent for long enough to stop him from flying in and ending me."

"Boys, boys," said Kunzite. "The Clobbering Clowns shouldn't fight amongst each other."

Jadeite threw a punch, but Kunzite ate it.

"Alright," said Zoisite, calming down. "Let's all go over what went wrong."

Nephrite crossed him arms. "Well," he began. "Some of us weren't able to defeat the ones we were matched up with."

"Shut up," said Zoisite. "I'm trying to learn from our mistakes here, but that won't work if you want to play the blame game!"

Jadeite was pouting. "Nothing went wrong," he said. "We did the best we could. But sadly they're just a better team. They all care about one another and have unsurpassable teamwork skills."

"No," said Kunzite. "That's quitter talk. We have to defeat them."

"What's the point?" said Nephrite. "Beryl's not going to give us our jobs back either way."

"Hmm," said Zoisite. "Well, if we can't have the job, we can at least sabotage the pests who took our place. I say we should keep interfering until Beryl herself has to come down and kill us. Maybe we will even defeat her at that time."

"Yeah!" said Nephrite. "Let's do it!"

"Change of heart," said Jed. "We will destroy Beryl."


The Shitennou were in human disguises, shopping at a gem warehouse.

"One of these must be the Silver Crystal!" said Grandpa. He looked very closely at one specimen. "Could it be…?"

"This is stupid," said Joe. "Let's go back to that crane machine plan."

"Sadly we can't," said Melvin. "Energy is only a temporary solution to Metalia's hunger. We need the Silver Crystal!"

Suddenly the lights turned off.

"Sailor Scouts?!" asked Motoki, hopefully.

"Sorry," said Jadeite. "It's your true nemeses, the Clobbering Clowns!"

Grandpa just shook his head sadly, and Motoki put a hand over his face.

"Not these bozos again," said Joe. "Didn't we already defeat you once? You need to know when you're outclassed!"

"Sorry," said Zoisite. "We devised a strategy this time."

"Boys!" yelled Kunzite. "Plan A, go!"

Jadeite shot lightning out of his palms, scattering the four Shitennou.

Grandpa put up a shield, absorbing the attack.

But then he turned his head to see the Clowns flying past him.

They all honed in on Melvin, and started pummeling him.

Jadeite threw rapid kicks, breaking Melvin's glasses and bones, and completely destroying his ability to fight back.

But Melvin was clinging to life, and got on his stomach like a turtle.

"GO, GO, GO!" yelled Zoisite, pointing like a commander. Without him guiding the onslaught, the others would have surely faltered.

Nephrite dragged Melvin to his feet and got him in a full nelson.

Kunzite threw a wild elbow into Melvin's chest, and Melvin screeched in pain.

Melvin tried to switch to tank class, but sadly he was just receiving too much dps.

Suddenly Motoki ran in, and got Zoisite in a headlock.

Zoisite felt life draining from him.

"No!" yelled Kunzite, going in to save him.

But Grandpa stood in his way.

Kunzite threw a punch, but Grandpa caught it.

They locked arms, and screamed at the top of their lungs.

"No!" yelled Jadeite. "Kunzite is being held captive by his even standstill with Grandpa!"

Jadeite went to throw another blow to Melvin's exposed torso, but that's when Gamer Joe appeared in front of him, and shot a scattershot, taking him down a notch.

Jadeite repelled many of the attacks with a forcefield, but Gamer Joe threw a punch, shattering the forcefield and landing a clean hit.

"Plan B, retreat with our lives!" yelled Kunzite.

Kunzite took to the skies, but Grandpa grabbed his tablecloth that he was using as a cape and pulled him back to the ground.

Kunzite threw an uppercut, tossing Grandpa, and shot several powerful beams at him, sending him flying.

"I'm coming, Zoisite!" howled Kunzite.

But that's when Gamer Joe threw himself, taking Kunzite along with him.

"Hey!" yelled Nephrite. "I still got this nerd in a full nelson! Someone come up and throw blows!"

He looked around, but everyone was distracted.

He spotted Zoisite's face as a dark blue, and finally Motoki released his grip.

Motoki and Joe double-teamed Kunzite, and Kunzite was keeping up.

"Hey!" yelled Nephrite. "This nerd! Full nelson! Somebody!"

"Release the nelson!" yelled Jadeite, as Grandpa appeared in front of him.

"No!" yelled Nephrite. "You should never release a perfectly good full nelson!"

Grandpa dropped Jadeite on his knee, and Jadeite experienced inhuman pain.

Kunzite got Motoki and Gamer Joe's heads in each hand, and bonked their heads together, causing them to see stars.

"Geez, does no one know how to deal with an open full nelson!?" yelled Nephrite.

The other Clobbering Clowns were soon defeated, but Nephrite held onto his full nelson until the very end.

After they pried them apart, Nephrite took to the skies and escaped.

Jadeite threw a smokebomb he brought in his pocket and ran away on foot, and Kunzite grabbed Zoisite and leapt out a window.

"They never learn," chuckled Joe. "Hey Melvin, you hanging in there?"

But Melvin didn't respond, as he was knocked out cold like a defeated Pokemon.

"Eh, we'll get you a new pair of glasses, kid," said Motoki.


"Alright, let's go over what happened this time," said Zoisite.

"I'll tell you what happened," said Nephrite. "You all wasted a great opportunity. How often does a full nelson just present itself to you?! We could have killed that lil nerd finally and forever, and made them a group of three which could easily be toppled."

"No," said Kunzite. "You should have released the nelson, Nephrite."

"Release?! A nelson?!" laughed Nephrite harshly. "Unheard of."

"We lost because of Nephrite and the nelson," said Zoisite.

"Wrong," said Nephrite. "We lost because you were wasteful and did not take free things that were given to you!"

"Nothing was given to me!" said Zoisite. "I was stuck in a chokerhold since second number one!"

"Whose fault is that?" demanded Nephrite. "You shouldn't leave so many openings."

"What openings?!" cried Zoisite. "He came out of nowhere!"

"Guys, guys," said Jadeite. "Have the Clobbering Clowns reached their limit?"

"Shut up," said Zoisite. "We don't need your negativity."

Suddenly, Kunzite turned around.

"What?" said Jadeite. He turned around too.

"That energy," said Zoisite in pure horror. "That's Negaenergy!"

Suddenly, in front of them, appeared the four Shitennou.

"Why are you here?!" demanded Nephrite. "We were totally going to not bother you ever again!" he lied.

The Clobbering Clowns, despite being worn down from their previous beatdown, got in their fighting stances.

A bead of sweat dropped down Zoisite's face.

"Sadly," said Grandpa. "We were sent here by the Big B herself. She told us to get rid of the sabotaging goofballs, so that's exactly what we're going to do!"

"Hey, no fair!" said Jadeite. "We still haven't healed yet!"

"Boo hoo," said Gamer Joe. "Life's tough, huh? At least you won't have to partake in it any longer!"

Kunzite decided it was all or nothing and drop-kicked Grandpa.

"Wait!" said Jadeite. "We have to stick together!"

But Motoki threw a bodyslam, sending Jadeite flying.

Joe and Nephrite began chanting at each other, and Zoisite tried to flee.

But Melvin appeared in front of him.

"No no no no no!" yelled Zoisite.

He threw a quick kick, followed by a sideways karate chop.

"We can't do this same stupid strategy!" yelled Zoisite, when he distanced himself from Berserker Melvin for half a second.

"No," said Kunzite, as he exchanged blows. "I can beat this guy!"

They traded blows for a long time, but it was evenly matched.

That's when Grandpa delivered more blows than Kunzite could receive, and Kunzite was taken to the ground.

"Swap opponents with me!" said Zoisite.

"Fool!" said Kunzite. "You can't last a second against this mighty beast!"

"Alright, fine," said Zoisite. "Jadeite, swap with me!"

"Yes sir!" said Jadeite, running from a tidal wave of arcade coins.

He leapt off into the distance, as Zoisite took his place.

Zoisite turned into a bunch of petals, and the coins flew past him.

Zoisite reappeared, and threw a crystal.

But Motoki was on his A++ game, and dodged it.

That's when Zoisite caused an eruption of petals from the ground, completely frazzling the Mighty Motoki.

"I can't keep up with these mind games!" Motoki called. "I'm a fighter, not a strategist!"

That's when Zoisite fired up the old reliable.

Motoki started to cry as he was swept away with the beam, all the way off into heaven.

"Noooot agaaaainnn!" said Motoki's final cry.

Kunzite and Nephrite decided to swap opponents as well.

"Wait a second!" said Nephrite, face to face with Grandpa. "I wasn't thinking this through!"

Nephrite looked around. "I'll just have to stall this incredible creature until Kunzite easily finishes off my guy."

But this was no small feat.

Grandpa raised his hands, and several energy balls appeared around him.

He threw them all at Nephrite, as Nephrite ran for his life as explosions erupted around him.

Meanwhile, Gamer Joe was eyeing Kunzite.

"You're not so tough!" yelled Joe.

That's when Kunzite popped his head off, and Joe was no more.

"AHhhh!" shrieked Melvin. "How horrific!"

"Where is Nephrite and that silver slasher?" wondered Kunzite.

He looked out the window to see Nephrite running into the forest, and Grandpa chasing after him on all fours.

"Shoot!" said Kunzite.

"I don't wanna die!" howled Nephrite. "Zoisite, swap with me!?"

But no one was around.

Nephrite did many amazing leaps through the trees.

"Phew," he said. "I think I lost him."

But that's when Grandpa appeared in front of him.

Nephrite decided it was all or nothing, and threw his strongest punch.

But it was reflected off Grandpa's solid skin.

Grandpa threw a light tap, and Nephrite was tossed into a tree, easily defeated.

"This is the end," thought Nephrite, as Grandpa strided towards him.

But that's when a boomerang flew into Grandpa's heart.

Grandpa looked down, and then looked back up at the camera.

"Drat," was his lame final bow.

Grandpa exploded into particles of dust, as Kunzite appeared in front of Nephrite.

"Luckily," said Kunzite. "He was my equal, so only a boomerang was needed to defeat him."


Back in Nephrite's mansion, Jadeite was getting floored by Melvin, since he was just too quick-witted despite Jadeite's advantage in strength.

Jadeite was finally defeated, but Zoisite took his place.

"Alright, you beast," said Zoisite. "I'm ready for you now!"

"Alright," said Melvin. "Don't say I didn't warn you!"

Melvin threw a giant shrimp, but Zoisite fired a dark wave, exploding it.

But that was Melvin's plan, and the huge shrimp exploded into a billion shrimp, clogging Zoisite's vision.

That's when Zoisite was hit over the head and defeated.

"Time to deal the killing blow to both these Clobbered Clowns," said Melvin, raising his fist.

That's when he died.

"Sad," said Kunzite, walking in the door. "For a smart guy, he sure let his guard down."

"What… what happened to Grandpa?" asked Zoisite.

"He's gone," said Kunzite. "Torn to smithereens just from one measly boomerang."

"Hey," said Jadeite. "Isn't that how you were defeated?"

"Shut up, plane boy," said Kunzite.

"Now, I have one thing to say to all of you fellow Clobbering Clowns," said Nephrite. "Get out of my house!"

FIN