"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"
Queen Beryl let out a roar, and Jadeite gasped.
"You're not Queen Beryl!" he yelled.
Kunzite approached the D-point entrance to the Negaverse.
He was carrying groceries from Target.
"I love Target," said Kunzite. "It's low priced, but I get to feel more important than people at Walmart."
As Kunzite approached the giant dark energy vortex that led to his kingdom, he spotted some kind of gathering of sorts. A polar bear gathering, to be exact.
"Run along," said Kunzite. "What is this, mating season?"
"RAAAWWWWR!" howled a polar bear, getting aggressive.
"Down, boy!" yelled Kunzite, as the polar bear got on its hind legs for battle.
Kunzite had to take to the skies as he was surrounded, and he dived face-first into the vortex like an Olympic diver.
"Phew," he said when he got in the Negaverse. "Those white beasts are definitely a downside of our chosen location, but on the other hand, it might hinder the Sailors as well."
He headed towards Queen Beryl's throne room, but that's when he heard a scream.
He hurried in.
"What's going on?" he called.
That's when he spotted 20+ polar bears all hoarded around Beryl's throne.
"No!" said Kunzite. "They've infiltrated our lair!"
"Get rid of those furry behemoths!" called Jadeite.
Kunzite looked around to see where the voice was coming from, and spotted Jadeite clinging to a stalactite on the ceiling.
"Jadeite, get down from there," said Kunzite. "You're one of the Great Four! You can't let some four-legged brute intimidate you!"
"There's 20+ of them!" cried Jadeite. "And they're all hungry for blood!"
That's when Zoisite appeared, but in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"Kunzite," he began.
That's when a polar bear batted him across the face, and Zoisite dropped to the ground crying.
"No!" yelled Kunzite.
He shot a dark wave of energy, sweeping the polar bears off their feet and into the distance.
"Kunzite," whimpered Zoisite. "What is going on here?"
"I wish I knew," said Kunzite. "But it seems like the polar creatures have taken residence in our Negaverse!"
"Get 'em out!" said Jadeite.
That's when an arctic fox scampered in on all fours and did an amazing leap, taking Jadeite to the ground.
It ran off with Jadeite in an instant.
"Wow," said Zoisite amazed. "Did you see that leap?"
That's when Nephrite stormed in.
"There's a polar bear at my vending machine!" he yelled. "Who's responsible?!"
"Not me," said Zoisite.
"Yeah right," said Nephrite. "This seems right up the alley of local fiend Zoisite."
"No," said Zoisite. "If they were my lackeys they wouldn't have batted me across the face."
"Hmm," said Kunzite. "Don't we have a couple Youmas to keep these animals at bay?"
"Sorry," said Nephrite. "They're gone. Jadeite ended them all."
"Shoot," said Zoisite.
"Where's Beryl?" asked Kunzite. "She might be able to put an end to this."
That's when they saw Beryl sprint in, being chased by a polar bear running on all fours like some kind of bear.
"HEEEEEELP!" yelled Beryl. "I tried to use my crystal ball to banish it, but it swatted it to the ground and stomped on it! I've been running loops around the Negaverse for a couple hours now, hoping someone would show up!"
"I'll save you," said Kunzite.
He sprinted off after the bear and leapt on its back.
He tried to get it in a headlock, but its neck was very thick, and the mighty creature took Kunzite for a ride.
"Should we help?" asked Nephrite.
But Zoisite was just biting his thumb. "This isn't fair!" he said. "If I was getting chased by a polar bear, Kunzite wouldn't try this hard to stop it!"
That's when lightning flashed in the background.
"Hey," said Nephrite. "Where'd that lightning come from? Are there clouds in the Negaverse? Is there rain? How are there clouds without water? So many mysteries."
Kunzite finally finished off the bear, and Beryl had to sit down, panting.
"Thanks Kunzite," she said.
"Beryl," said Kunzite. "What is the meaning of this?"
"Beats me," said Beryl. "I guess they just climbed through the opening in the overworld. Polar boys are mighty beasts. One of the few arctic creatures that have enough gall to come down here."
"The arctic fox species also showed their face," said Kunzite. "But it only targeted Jadeite."
"Hmm," said Beryl. "We can't live like this. Let's go get Metalia and move out."
They headed to Metalia's chambers, and that's when Beryl gasped.
"Metalia-sama!" she cried.
To her horror, three polar bears were on their hind legs, batting at Metalia's pod like they were trying to open a beehive.
"Back, you mangy creatures!" yelled Beryl, swinging her staff like a torch.
"Don't provoke them," said Kunzite. "She's a lost cause."
But Beryl didn't give in. "I said back!"
A polar bear threw its body, tackling Beryl into the void with such incredible force that all her bones were broken and she plummeted to her doom.
Kunzite rolled up his sleeves. "So that's how it's gonna be, eh?"
He slugged it out for many hours, but finally the polar bears fled.
"Good work," said Metalia. "For saving me, I'll give you eternal life."
"Awesome!" said Kunzite.
"Oh," said Nephrite. "Like a genie!"
"Metalia is a mythical creature," said Zoisite.
"Anyway," said Kunzite. "It's time to go. Hop in this jar, Metalia-sama."
Metalia shed her shell, and hopped in a pickle jar, like a fairy from the Legend of Zelda.
They headed for the door to the Negaverse.
That's when Beryl climbed out of the void weakly.
"Avenge me!" she yelled, giving up on life.
"Come on now," said Kunzite. "Keep it together."
They put Beryl in a body cast and rolled her out the door.
"Goodbye, Negaverse," said Zoisite. "What a shame that this is how it ended."
"Where do we go now?" wondered Kunzite.
Suddenly Jadeite came running out of the Negaportal like a bat out of hell.
"I made peace with the arctic fox!" he told the others.
"Good work," said Nephrite.
"Hey, who's the mummy?" said Jadeite.
"Shut up," said Beryl.
They started their long trek to Japan, when Endymion came dashing out of the vortex with two owls circling him like buzzards and occasionally going in for pecks.
"How could you leave me?!" said Endymion.
"My bad," said Beryl.
No one helped Endymion with his arctic owls, and he eventually battled one down to submission, and the other one flew away.
They arrived at Nephrite's Earth house.
"This is where we go our separate ways," said Endymion. "I'm moving into my apartment!"
"Take me with you!" yelled Beryl.
"Sorry," said Endymion. "I'd have to put you on the lease, but you have bad credit."
Endymion left.
"Will we ever see him again?" asked Jadeite.
"I hope not," said Kunzite.
"Wait a minute, why are we all at my Earth house?" asked Nephrite. "I was coming here to go home. Stop following me."
"Sorry," said Beryl. "You created the Earth house with your Negapowers, did you not?"
"Errr…" said Nephrite.
"Then it's Negaverse property," concluded Beryl.
"Drat!" said Nephrite. "I always am one to follow the rules."
He opened the door, but he saw his house was torn to shreds.
"Alright," said Nephrite. "What gives?!"
He looked on the ground to see it was covered in a thin layer of snow.
Sitting on his couch, gnawing on his remote, was a lounging polar bear.
The polar bear flashed the peace sign, but his snarl said otherwise.
Nephrite shut the door.
"They must have found their way to my Earth home," he said grimly.
"Shoot!" said Kenji, who was with the pack because he wanted to move out and get away from his son Shingle.
"Hey," decided Kenji. "Can I borrow one of those polar bears? I'd like to plant one in my house for my son Shingle, and maybe Ikuko."
"You can try," said Nephrite. "I'm not going to stop you, if that's the question."
"Alright," said Kenji. "I'm going in."
But when he entered the room, it became a warzone.
A penguin threw itself at Kenji, and Kenji threw a punch, disposing of it.
He tackled the polar bear off its couch, and began wrestling it like one would wrestle a human.
They began trading blows, but unfortunately, the polar bear delivered more than Kenji could receive, and Kenji was swiftly put to an icy cold end.
"Foolish," said Kunzite.
"Anyone know another place to live?" asked Beryl.
The Shitennou and Beryl became squatters in ol' Starlight Tower.
"Hmm," said Nephrite. "What is this tower used for?"
"Evil," answered Kunzite.
"Hey!" yelled a Tokyo citizen, who worked for the government but was not a cop. "Are you punks squatters?"
"Yes," said Beryl. "What of it?"
"You can't squat here," said the man. "This is public property."
"Tell it to the New York Times," said Kunzite.
"Yeah," said Jadeite. "What is this, Australian rules?!"
The man was floored, and left without saying a word.
"Easy does it," said Zoisite. "If we keep this up, we can squat here forever. Let's make this the new Negaverse! We already turned it into a Negabuilding before."
"Hmm," said Beryl. "It's a little compact. And it's an obvious place for an evil HQ. The Sailors will spot it in an instant."
"No," said Nephrite. "There was a giant circus tent floating above Tokyo for an entire season, and no one thought anything about it despite the circus themed villains."
"Hey, I have a better idea!" said Jadeite. "There was this temple I once worked at, and it's very roomy! We could build a nice mansion there! All we have to do is get rid of its current residents! But they're probably dead of old age, anyway. The man who owns it is pretty much in the spirit world."
"Good idea," said Beryl. "I'm a fan of taking places over."
"Me too," said Jadeite. "I once took over a boat, a gym, a carnival, a radio studio…"
Jadeite faded off as he began reliving his wonderful memories. "An airport," he added.
"Let's go," said Beryl.
They all appeared at the Hikawa Shrine.
"Ah," said Beryl. "I know this place."
"We all do," said Zoisite sadly. "I once had a very hard battle here, probably the closest I had to a fight in my whole arc."
"What about Mamoru Chiba?" said Jed.
"Shut up," said Zoisite.
"Haha," said Jed. "I defeated Tuxedo Mask and you could not."
"I defeated an arctic fox and you could not!" yelled Zoisite, getting very angry.
"When did you defeat an arctic fox? You couldn't if you tried!" Then Jadeite laughed. "Just face it, I have more brute strength."
"Give it up," said Kunzite. "If you and Zoisite came to blows, you would meet your demise. That's why Zoisite's higher ranking, despite his lack of strength."
"Didn't Zoisite lose to a pack of crows?" asked Nephrite.
"Hey now!" said Zoisite. "Why did this become an attack Zoisite session?!"
"You're right," said Beryl. "We have business to do."
They walked up the temple steps, and felt the déjà vu kick in.
"We have done this many times," said Kunzite. "But this time things will go differently."
Beryl knocked on the door.
Yuuichirou answered.
That's when they heard a scream, and they all turned to see Kenji Tsukino sprinting up the steps.
He finally made it to the top, and threw a punch, toppling Yuuchirou.
While Yuuchirou was down, Kenji leapt into the air, and got ready to stomp down on Yuuchirou's heart.
But Yuuichirou went all the way, and leapt to his feet.
Kenji and Yuuichirou locked arms.
"It's over, Chady boy!" said Kenji.
"Shyaaaa yaaaa!" said Chad.
The Shitennou decided to let Kenji have his fight, and waited patiently.
However, it went on for too long, and Chad was starting to gain the upperhand due to his youth.
Zoisite fired a beam, killing Chad, but greatly injuring Kenji in the process.
Kenji fell to the floor.
"Are you okay?" asked Zoisite.
"That was nothing," scoffed Kenji, spitting.
He got to his feet and dusted off the dirt. "Let's go," he said.
But when they stormed inside, not a soul could be found.
"Not even the crows?" asked Zoisite.
"Odd," said Kunzite. "Very odd. Maybe Grandpa really did drop dead. Oh well."
They were all stunned that they did not have to fight the mighty Grandpa.
But they bounced back soon after, and decided to claim the temple.
"I claim this temple!" howled Kunzite. "FOR THE NEGAVERSE!"
"Yeah!" said Zoisite, when no one else clapped or responded.
Kunzite claimed the temple for the Negaverse, and Beryl set up a throne room in Grandpa's dojo.
Jadeite picked a random room and morphed it into a dark space where he could float.
"Good," said Jadeite. "This is all I need."
Nephrite set up an observatory in Rei's fire room, and everyone was content.
A week later, a bus rolled by at the top of the temple steps, and Grandpa hopped off.
"Goodbye, bus," he said.
The bus rolled away, and Grandpa took a step forward.
The two crows were on his shoulders, and they both let out squawks, sensing the dark presence.
Grandpa gasped, and did a double take.
In the place of his temple was some kind of Nega evil lair, that darkened the sky around it, and had lightning flashing above.
Grandpa just shook his head sadly.
He went into his dojo, which was now Beryl's throne room.
"Jadeite, report!" said Beryl.
But then she saw Grandpa, and all the color drained from her face.
She began ringing the temple bell to summon the others, and the Shitennou quickly showed up.
"Grandpa!" yelled Zoisite. "I thought you dropped dead?!"
"This is our temple now!" said Kunzite. "So buzz off, ya old coot!"
Jadeite tried to reason with the beast, and started speaking logic.
"You can have our old place," said Jadeite. "If you don't mind polar bears."
But that just angered Grandpa more.
"A man's temple is his temple," said Grandpa. "And the worst part is, there's no shrine girls here! And you know what they say! A shrine without girls is like a miso soup shop without miso soup!"
The Shitennou got in their fighting stances, and Beryl started charging her crystal ball.
That's when Kenji ran up and threw a dropkick, trying to surprise the old man.
But Grandpa saw it a mile away with his Ultra Instinct, and the kick flew past Grandpa's head.
Grandpa threw a quick jab, and Kenji was no more.
"Nooooooooo!" yelled Beryl.
She fired her best attack out of her crystal ball, but Grandpa put up his arms, blocking it.
The attack had so much force, Grandpa was pushed back a couple feet, but he sustained minimal damage.
Beryl tried to run, but her legs weren't used to physical activity.
Grandpa threw a quick kick, and Beryl dropped like a stone.
"Heh," said Kunzite. "You think this battle will go like it usually does, right you senile maniac?"
Grandpa tilted his head in curiosity.
"Well, I've got one trick up my sleeve!" yelled Kunzite.
He pulled out the Metalia pickle jar and released its contents.
"ARRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" yelled Metalia, latching onto Grandpa's face and trying to suffocate him.
But in his long, long, long life, Grandpa mastered breathing without breathing, and was simply not going down.
"It's not doing anything!" yelled Jadeite. "Everyone, get him!"
They took all four sides of Grandpa, and started throwing punches and kicks.
Zoisite started slashing him with a crystal, and Kunzite was throwing rapid kicks.
Grandpa threw his arms into the air, sending the Shitennou flying.
They all dropped, except for Kunzite, who was very near death.
"Metalia-sama!" he called. "Fuse with me!"
But Metalia couldn't keep it up anymore, and simply ceased to exist.
"NO!" said Kunzite.
He threw a cyclone punch, but Grandpa knew how to counter any cyclone punch, and countered the cyclone punch.
He threw a punch into Kunzite's stomach, ending him.
Grandpa snapped his fingers, and his temple resumed its normal form.
"GG," he said.
That's when an arctic fox scampered in, the very one that had made peace with Jadeite, and released its fangs, going right for Grandpa's neck.
But Grandpa had no neck, so the arctic fox skidded to a halt and tried to skitter away.
But Grandpa grabbed it by the tail.
"A wise guy, eh?" said Grandpa.
He released an ounce of divine energy, and the arctic fox was gone and so was its species.
"Global warming is a travesty," said Grandpa, taking out his broom.
FIN
