"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Jadeite, didn't I tell you last time was your last chance?"

"I don't recall," said Jed. "You must have wrote it in your diary or something but not actually told me."

"Oh," said Beryl. "Well that's unfortunate because it's time to die."

"Yikes," said Jed. "Well, throw your best shot, I suppose."

"You dare defy me in your last moments?!" shrieked Beryl.

"Ye," said Jed. "It's my last moments after all."

"You just HAD to make it difficult," scolded Beryl. "You couldn't die with any glory."

"No glory," said Jed. "You are killing me with no glory. It is not my time to die, so I cannot have glory."

"Shame," said Beryl.

She fired her best move, and Jadeite hit the ground.

He was sizzling like an egg on a summer day.

"Ha," said Beryl. "Let Jadeite's fate be a warning."

But the mob of Youmas was not present that day.

Then Jadeite stood back up.

"Nice blow," he said.

Jadeite was equipped with a focus stash, and had 1 HP left.

"GG," said Jed.

He fled.

"NoooOOOO!" said Beryl. "You'll pay for this!"


"Errr… Mrs. Osaka," said Nephrite, at Molly's door. "Can you please send your daughter out?"

"Hmm," said Mrs. Osaka. "You're that boy she's been seeing. I think you're too old for young Molly."

"That's too bad," said Nephrite. "Now can you please send her out? I didn't bring my phone to call her and tell her, so now I have to deal with you."

"Well, she won't be coming today," informed Molly's mom. "She is coming gem mining with me for the jewel shop, Osa-P."

"Is that so?" said Nephrite. "I thought you bought your gems like normal people."

"No," said Molly's mom. "We go mining for them ourselves, so it's all profit!"

"Ah," said Nephrite. "Smart. I guess I'll come back tomorrow."

Nephrite headed for the door of the apartment building, when he passed Melvin who had a mining cap on with a flashlight equipped, followed by a pickaxe and a jumpsuit.

"Hidy ho!" said Melvin as he walked by.

Nephrite stopped walking and turned around as Melvin knocked on the door.

"Ah, Melvin my boy!" said Molly's mom. "It's so good to see you! Especially since you're a young, kind boy my daughter's age, and not some man who will take advantage of her!"

"I would never do anything to displease young Molly!" promised Melvin. "And I couldn't take advantage of her if I wanted to! She's as quick as a whip!"

"Ho ho ho," laughed Molly's mom. "I will do everything in my power to set you up with her. She will be your girlfriend in no time!"

"I can't wait!" said Melvin.

Suddenly Nephrite was back at the door.

"So we're going gem mining, huh?" he said.

"What are you still doing here, Maxfield?" asked Melvin. "Molly is my girl!"

"Sadly that is incorrect," said Nephrite. "I can't have some nerd trying to make a move while I'm gone. So I suppose I will accompany you on your expedition."

"Hmmm," sneered Molly's mom.

That's when Molly finally surfaced with her hardhat.

"Melvin couldn't make a move," said Molly. "He just doesn't have it in him like the rest of the boys at our school."

"MULLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" called Nephrite in joy.

"Ah!" said Molly. "Nephraito-sama! Are you really coming gem mining with us?"

"No," said Molly's mom. "I won't allow it. This guy is bad news, and made you steal a jewel that we mined very hard for."

"But Mama!" cried Mawly. "Mama!" she repeated.

"No," said Molly's mom. "I won't budge on this."

"But Mama!" repeated Molly. "We need all the help we can get, as Melvin can't even lift up his pickaxe! We need someone with brute man strength who can carry all the ore back!"

"Hmm," said Molly's mom. "It is hard carrying all that ore back."

"Heh," said Nephrite. "I can sift through your ore on the spot so you only bring home gems."

"Sold," said Molly's mom. "Now follow me."

They went down to the basement of the Osa-P building, and Molly's mom opened the trap door.

They climbed down 20 flights of stairs, until they got to the bedrock and were in a cave.

Then they all hopped on a minecart.

"This minecart's a little small for four people," said Nephrite. "I think we might have to toss scrawny Melvin."

"I'll toss you!" warned Molly's mom.

She pulled a lever and they were off.

The minecart took them one million miles away, until they got to the mining site.

"I believe we're deep under the Pacific Ocean," explained Molly.

"Wow!" said Melvin. "What a feat of engineering!"

"Shut up, nerd," said Nephrite.

"Shut up, punk!" said Molly's mom. "Melvin is a good boy! He does good in school, whereas you dropped out like a delinquent!"

"Hey, that is not the case," said Nephrite. "Things were different back then. I joined the military."

"Really?" said Mawly. "What military?"

"None of your concern," said Nephrite.

"Hmph," said Molly's mom. "I think the military is overrated."

They got out of the minecart.

"Wooooooow!" cried Melvin, turning on his headlight. "Look at all those sparkly gems!"

"We're not here to sightsee," said Molly's mom. "A lot of that is quartz. We need to hunt for big boys, like diamonds."

She raised her pickaxe and threw it down into a piece of stone.

The stone was no more, and she took her basket and started piling ore in.

"Hey Mrs. Osaka!" called Melvin. "I'll have you know I'm an expert at Minecraft!"

"This isn't some game," snarled Molly's mom. "This is our business."

"Mmmm," said Melvin. "I hope we're on layer 11! It's the best one to find diamonds!"

"Shut up," said Nephrite.

He blasted a huge hole in the cave.

"Heeeeeeyyyyy!" said Molly's mom. "What do you think you're doing!? You could have destroyed valuable gems!"

"Ah, here," said Nephrite, picking up a chunk of diamond ore. "How's this specimen?"

Molly's mom examined it. "Bad," she lied, pocketing it.

"I'm so glad we're talking about Minecraft," said Melvin. "I'm the best player ever! I have a mod called XRAY where I can see where ores are!"

"You fool," said Nephrite. "You're gonna get banned."

"Wow," said Melvin. "You play Minecraft too?"

"Only once," said Nephrite. "And all I did was raid people."

"Raiding is against the rules on my server!" yelled Melvin. "Griefing should give you the death sentence IRL! Ruining people's hard work for no reason, sickening!"

"What is Minecraft?" asked Molly. "One of those computer games?"

"Yes," said Melvin, in a really snarky tone. "Only, like, the best-selling one ever that has expanded to all consoles, including mobile! Microsoft bought it for four BILLION dollars!"

"Wow, is that a lot of yen?" asked Molly.

"Ugh," said Melvin. "You don't even know basic conversions. School your daughter, Mrs. Osaka."

"Watch it," said Molly's mom, pounding away with the pickaxe.

They mined quietly for five minutes.

"Say," said Melvin. "If you ever find a vein, make sure to dig within two blocks around it!"

"Is that more Minecraft nonsense?" asked Nephrite.

"Not nonsense," said Melvin. "Minecraft is very realistic."

"Isn't it 8x8 pixels?" scoffed Nephrite.

"Wrong!" yelled Melvin. "It's 16x16, but I use a texture pack that makes it 1000000x1000000."

"That's pointless," said Nephrite. "You can't even see that close, and it just looks like blocks anyway, no matter how detailed the texture of said blocks are."

"You have a lot to learn," said Melvin.

They mined quietly for ten more minutes.

Nephrite was by far the most efficient miner, being a full-grown man and also using his powers to clear away bad stone.

Melvin on the other hand, while he occasionally tried to lift his pickaxe, could not stop talking about Minecraft now that it had been brought up.

"Say," said Melvin. "Don't you wish there were diamond pickaxes irl? Then I could easily clear through this stone!"

"You fool," said Nephrite. "That would be an inefficient use of diamonds. And it would probably break in one hit to solid stone."

"Shut up!" said Melvin. "Not if I had unbreaking III, efficiency V, mending, and a full four-layer beacon!"

"Melvin," said Molly. "Why are you digging like that? If you go down a small tunnel it might cave in on you."

"I'm strip mining," explained Melvin. "It's the most efficient way to find diamonds. Once I get far enough, I'll dig another strip back."

"That's incredibly inefficient to clear so much stone that you make a walkway," said Molly's mom, an expert at mining.

"Hmmm," said Nephrite. "Running a jewelry shop is hard enough, but having to dig your own stones too sounds like a lot of work. Where's Mr. Osaka?"

"We don't talk about that," said Molly's mom, starting to cry.

"Did I say something wrong?" asked Nephrite. "I just think that he should be helping us."

Molly tossed Nephrite a shove. "Stop it," she said. "You're making Mama cry!"

"I'm okay," said Molly's mom, sobbing like a wee one.

She swung down her pickaxe.

"Maxfield really blew it," said Melvin.

He was pouring a bucket of water into lava to try to make obsidian.

"He's in his own world," said Nephrite. "This many pixels is throwing him off-guard."

"Melvin is a good kid," said Molly's mom. "And he will marry my daughter one day."

"Mama!" cried Molly. "That won't happen! He's too nerdy, and he would not be able to protect me!"

"Protect you from what?" said Melvin. "What danger are you in?"

"I get attacked by Youmas every day, Maylven," said Molly. "What would you do if the jewel shop got attacked?"

"I would throw shrimp at the beast," said Melvin. "Like that time at the carnival. How could you forget?!"

"You just got beat up like meatloaf," said Molly.

"Yes," said Melvin. "But I delayed the inevitable."

"I would protect you," said Nephrite.

"You were what Molly needs to be protected from!" said Molly's mom. "You turned my girl into a jewel thief!"

"Aren't you a jewel thief?" challenged Nephrite. "Do you own this land? Do you have the right to mine here?"

"Shut up!" said Molly's mom. "No one said jewel mining is a fair business! If it was, Mr. Osaka wouldn't have…"

Nephrite wanted to know more but didn't want to ask.

"Hey guys!" howled Melvin. "I found some iron!"

"You idiot," said Molly's mom. "We're looking for gems, not metals."

"But we can use the metals to make pickaxes!" called Melvin. "And axes in case we run into an abandoned mineshaft!"

"Maaayylven," said Molly. "You shouldn't be digging down like that. You might fall into lava, or a pit."

"Yes," said Nephrite. "Isn't that Minecraft 101?"

"No," said Melvin. "I would hear the lava any day."

"You can't hear lava," said Nephrite. "You're an idiot, and you're going to kill yourself."

"Maylven!" said Molly. "Stahp! That's daaaangerous!"

"There's nothing to worry about," said Melvin.

He swung down his pickaxe, and that's when the ground came out.

Melvin fell into a 1 billion ft. deep hole that went to the core of the Earth.

"Rip," said Nephrite.

"NEEPHRITE!" said Molly. "SAAAAVE HIM!"

"No?" said Nephrite.

"Pls," said Molly's mom. "I'm friends with his mom. She will be mad at me for taking him on such a dangerous mission and not really supervising him."

Nephrite sighed. "Sad," he said.

He nose-dived into the hole and powered up to increase his speed stat.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Melvin,

Nephrite heard the high-pitched squeal getting further away, so he kicked off of the wall, flying past Melvin.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" shrieked Melvin. "It's getting hot and dense in here!"

Nephrite caught the flying buffoon like one would catch a bad throw of a baseball.

Then he did wall jumps back up to the surface.

Nephrite released Melvin like a bird.

"MAAAAAAAAAAYYYYLLVIN!" said Molly. "You're alive!"

"Barely," said Melvin. "But luckily I got out thanks to my quick wits."

"No," said Nephrite. "You did nothing. You just screamed."

"Wow," said Molly's mom. "I have to say, young Maxfield may not be so bad. While Molly is never foolish enough to dig straight down, you never know when the Earth might give out. And only Maxfield would be able to save her."

"That is correct," said Nephrite. "That nerd just squealed."

They went back to mining, and someone draped a blanket over Melvin while he shook in the corner.

"I don't think I can be a part of your family, Molly," said Melvin. "Your wild lifestyle is too dangerous."

"Oy understand," said Molly.

"Hey," said Nephrite. "I think I found a valuable jewel. Look at this huge chunk of gem."

That's when Melvin got filled with jealousy, and his body suddenly acted on its own.

He kicked the ore into the lava.

"Hey!" said Nephrite. "What was that about?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Melvin. "I'm the only one for Molly!"

Melvin began swinging his pickaxe wildly at Nephrite.

"Easy there, kiddo," said Nephrite. "You might hurt someone."

"I'll hurt YOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" screamed Melvin.

He threw the pickaxe but missed by a mile.

There was a loud crumbling where the pickaxe hit.

"NOOOO!" said Molly. "You doomed us all! The mine's going to collapse!"

"Sad," said Nephrite. "I can only teleport two people to the surface. Looks like young Melvin is out of luck."

"Wrong," said Melvin. "I still have much to live for. But Molly's mom is past her prime. She lived a full life. The younger generation must live on!"

"Why I oughtta!" said Molly's mom.

But luckily, the mine did not collapse, and a small tunnel opened.

"Ah," said Melvin. "I opened up a tunnel to the secret treasure! Maybe there's a spawner down there!"

He started crawling through the tunnel.

"What are you doing, you buffoon?" said Nephrite.

"Hmm," said Molly's mom. "There might be gems down there."

She climbed in.

"Mama!" cried Molly. "That's not safe!"

But Molly had no choice but to follow.

"Hmm," said Nephrite. "Good thing I'm not claustrophobic!"

"I'm getting claustrophobic!" yelled Melvin. "Everyone back up!"

"No," said Molly's mom. "Keep going."

"Well, cave mining is a good strategy," said Melvin. And for that reason, he decided to press on.

They got to the end of the tunnel, but it was another cave.

"Shoot," said Molly's mom. "No ores here, let's keep going."

As they shined their headlights around, suddenly they spotted a shadowy figure.

"Herobrine?!" cried Melvin.

"It's a monster!" yelled Molly's mom, shrieking like a maniac. "Not again!"

Molly followed suit, and let out a yelp.

"Don't worry," said Nephrite. "I can take any Youma."

But that's when the rogue shadow threw a wild punch at Molly.

"MULLLLLY!" called Nephrite.

Mully was tossed across the cave, and the beast turned to Molly's mom.

Nephrite stood in the beast's path with his arms out.

"I will protect you," said Nephrite. "For Mullllyyy!"

"No," said Melvin, jumping in front of Nephrite. "I'll protect you!"

He leapt into the air with his pickaxe, and threw an overhead mallet pick.

The beast repelled the attack, and spotted Melvin's opening. It threw a quick punch to it, defeating Melvin.

"It's over," said Molly's mom.

"No," said Nephrite. "The beast is still fodder."

That's when the beast turned on its flashlight.

"M-Mayumi?" said Molly's dad.

"Molly's dad?!" cried Molly's mom. "I thought a cave collapsed on you ten years ago!"

"No," said Molly's dad. "It just cut me off from the overworld, and I had to live down here. Luckily there's a spider spawner down here, so I've been eating those."

"Hmm," said Nephrite. "Then why did you punch Molly?"

"I couldn't see in the dark," said Molly's dad. "And also I was a bit rowdy."

"No," said Nephrite. "We had our mining lights on. You just wanted to throw a punch at a small girl."

"Maybe so," said Molly's dad. "What can you do?"

"Papa!" cried Molly, running over to him and embracing him.

"Ah," said Nephrite. "All's well that ends well."

"We make a good team," said Melvin.

"Shut up," said Nephrite. "You got pummeled by a regular man."

"Hey," said Melvin. "I lasted longer than you against a Youma."

"What Youma?" demanded Nephrite.

"Redman," explained Melvin. "I survived the attack, whereas you died to a Youma."

"Hey now," said Nephrite. "I was hit by a surprise attack, and that was three Youmas who I easily clobbered to oblivion."

"Shut up," said Melvin. "My feats are better."

The Osaka family were embracing each other.

That's when a stalactite fell from the ceiling.

"LOOK OUT!" yelled Nephrite.

He fired a beam at the falling object, destroying it before it could kill them.

But somehow, Molly's dad had been hit in the crossfire.

He was slain.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Molly's mom.

"Oops," said Nephrite. "I honestly don't see how that happened. But one casualty is better than three, as I saved all of your lives."

"Actually," said Melvin. "I don't think a stalactite could kill three people. Maybe one."

"So either way," said Nephrite. "Better a washed-up cave creature than Molly."

Molly's mom turned to Nephrite with bloodlust.

She was breathing like a monster.

"Hey," said Nephrite. "What is that look for? I'm expecting a, 'You're welcome!'"

Molly's mom threw a wild punch, putting Nephrite on the defensive.

She threw a scattered barrage of blows.

"Mmm," thought Nephrite. "She's too bloodlusted to remember her basic training. Any smart individual knows you should focus your punches on one concentrated spot."

"Mama, stop it!" cried Molly. "He was just trying to save us! Nephrite, don't hurt her!"

"I'm trying to wear her down," said Nephrite, casually dodging punches. "But she seems to have unlimited reserves with the bloodlust multiplier."

"I'll save you, Maxfield!" yelled Melvin.

He threw himself like a projectile, but Molly's mom's instincts were on the top of her game.

She turned and threw a punch, instantly killing Melvin.

"Uh oh," said Nephrite. "If I get hit by one of those, I might be in trouble. I didn't know humans had that much potential."

"Mama!" cried Molly, now sobbing. "Please stop this at once!"

Nephrite kept her at bay for 20 hours.

"Molly, what do you want me to do here?" asked Nephrite. "She's not giving up."

Molly's mom was grunting, and was starting to get better with every punch, as though she was learning as she was fighting.

Nephrite had no choice but to put her down.

"I'm really sorry," said Nephrite to Molly. "There was nothing I could do."

"It's okay," said Molly. "We'll bury her next to Papa."

FIN