Disclaimer: Looking back on this story, I could see how one might take offense to some of the stuff that happens at the end, especially in light of recent debacles. Please remember that this is a fictional story about fictional evil characters, who are very evil. Jadeite once threatened to send three lambs to hell, and burn down the entire city of Tokyo which has a population of 9 million people. Whether he could pull this off or not is questionable, but Luna believed he was not bluffing, and I count that as a feat. Anyway, I do not condone this kind of behavior at all, and it is completely despicable in real life. But this is just a story meant for luls. A story. TY.


"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Jadeite, where is my silver boy?" asked Beryl.

"Your silver… boy?" asked Jadeite in confusion. "I didn't know you had a boyfriend."

"I don't!" yelled Beryl angrily.

"Ah, good," said Jadeite.

"Not good," said Beryl. "My silver boy refers to none other than the Silver Imperium Crystal, needed to awake our Great Ruler!"

"I thought we need energy to awaken the Great Ruler?" asked Jed. "What the heck is my energy for, then?"

"That works too," said Beryl. "But it's only a temporary source of energy."

"You're saying energy is a temporary source of energy!?" cried Jadeite. "What is this!?"

Beryl got mad but then took ten deep breaths.

"Jadeite, what is the Silver Crystal?" she asked him calmly.

"Hmm," said Jadeite. "That's actually what I've been waiting for you to explain. I don't know how you expect me to know what it is when you don't!"

"Jadeite!" yelled Beryl. "I've explained it like 100 times!"

"No," said Jadeite. "Not to me, small one."

"What'd you call me?!" screamed Beryl.

"Nothing," said Jed.

"Jadeite, what is the goal of the Dark Kingdom?" demanded Beryl.

"Hmm," said Jadeite. "To take over the world?"

"No, you idiot," said Beryl. "It's to capture my long lost love, Prince Endymion of Earth! But that's my personal secret."

"How did you expect me to know your personal secret?" asked Jeddo.

"That settles it," decided Beryl. "Meet me in the Shitennou meeting room. Bring the others or else."

Beryl teleported away with a teleport animation never before seen, and Jadeite dashed over on foot.

"Oops," he said. "I forgot to call the others."

But when he entered, all the others were there.

"Ah," said Beryl. "Take a seat and grab a tablet from the tablet cart."

"Actually," said Jed. "Can I use my Red Flyer?"

"Fine," said Beryl.

Jadeite took out his Red Flyer laptop.

"Nice," said Zoisite.

"So," said Jadeite. "When you said to call the others, I thought you meant the other Shitennou. I did not realize you wanted all these humans."

"Ho ho ho," said Kenji.

"Where am I?" asked Motoki.

"Silence," said Beryl. "I am upset with all of your general lack of knowledge of basic concepts about our mission. It is time for us all to learn, through the educational tool Kahoot!"

"Kahoot?" asked Kunzite in disbelief. "Queen Beryl, isn't that an Earth game for young ones where teachers have students answer questions on their phones?"

"No," said Beryl. "Now everyone hop on Kahoot and put this code in."

"It didn't work," said Jadeite.

"No," said Melvin. "You didn't log on Kahoot first. You just put the code in the address bar."

"Ah," said Jadeite.

Beryl watched the board patiently as everyone joined the game.

"Hey!" said Beryl. "Real names only!"

She removed the name Beryl Sux, and then Nephrite Sux.

"Hey," said Nephrite. "Who did that?"

"Not me," said Zoisite, joining on another account.

Beryl removed another Nephrite Sux, and Melvin let out a sigh.

"Heh," said Nephrite.

"Queen Beryl-sama," said Melvin. "People keep joining on fake names. Can you punish them?"

"Can it, suck up," said Beryl. "Maybe I should punish you, Melvin."

Melvin zipped the lip and adjusted his bifocals.

"Ok, I'm pushing start," said Beryl. But she didn't press start until she finished clearing a wall of 20 fake names.

"Alright," she said. "Some of these are highly inappropriate."

The Shitennou snickered.

"Did you see number 14?" snickered Jadeite.

"Good one," said Zoisite.

Beryl read through the list ten more times.

"There's only like 10 of us here," she said. "How are there 30 people in the Kahoot?"

"Hmm," said Jadeite. "Very odd."

"Toastyboy64," Beryl read out loud. "Kenji, please only use your first initial, then last name."

"Ah," said Jadeite. "I did my format wrong. Let me rejoin."

He rejoined as J. Dite.

Beryl erased his other name.

"That's how I know you have many tabs up," warned Beryl. "And I suggest you close them, or we won't start."

Beryl waited patiently, but Jadeite didn't want to reveal who his accounts were.

"Beryl," said Zoisite. "Just click them and erase them on the board."

"No," said Beryl. "I'm giving you all the chance now to take out your fake accounts, because if I see one once the game starts, it's over! I'll kill the offender!"

"How will you know which one it is?" asked Gamer Joe, mischievously.

"I can see your IP of the tablet you took out," lied Beryl.

"Actually," said Melvin. "We all have the same IP, since we are in the same room."

"Not me," said Jadeite. "I'm on a proxy."

"You all have five seconds," said Beryl.

She watched as ten names slowly left.

"Alright," she said. "But I'm warning you! I will stop the instant I see another fake name!"

Just that second, before she pressed start, Queen Beryl popped up on the roster.

"Hey!" she said. "I didn't join."

"Heh heh heh," said Zoisite.

"Not funny," said Melvin. "Don't make me tattle on you."

"Do it," challenged Zoisite.

"Queen Beryl-sama!" Melvin raised his hand.

But Beryl ignored him, because she didn't like snitches.

"Can we get started?" asked Grandpa. "I only have 20 minutes, and you falsely told me this would be fun."

"Fine, fine," said Beryl.

She started the game, and the first question popped up.

"How many shards was the Silver Crystal broken into?" the question asked.

"Easy," said Zoisite. "Seven."

"Shut up!" yelled Beryl. "Now you ruined the question!"

But Beryl skipped to the next question, giving only a couple people points who had already put their answer in.

"Hey!" said Jadeite. "That's not fair! I only answered on myself!"

"What does that mean?" accused Beryl.

Jadeite said nothing more.

She went to the next question, and Jadeite answered it with his other accounts first.

"Why are there 40 kids now in the class?" wondered Beryl.

Zoisite was answering wrong with his main account so that his other boys could get on the screen, as the Kahoot leaderboard only shows the top 5.

"As a reminder," said Beryl. "I can see everyone who's in the game, and who's answering the questions right!"

"Uh oh," said Zoisite.

"Zoisite," called out Beryl. "You really didn't know the name of your great ruler, yet The Moon Princess did?"

"Heh," said Zoisite. "I was trigger happy."

"Calm it down," said Beryl. "Only the top five will be getting rewards, so you can't afford happy fingers."

The next question came on, and Jadeite began answering through his eight tabs.

"Still clicking, huh guys?" said Beryl. "It only takes one click to answer the question."

"Heh," thought Jadeite. "I'm so slick."

The leaderboard popped up, and it was five people no one knew.

"What the?" said Beryl. "Did someone post the code on the Kahoot crashing Reddit?"

"No," said Kunzite.

Beryl narrowed her eyes.

She kicked the five randos, bringing five more randos to the leaderboard.

She cleared those too, and started the next question.

"Fool," said Nephrite. "If you get to the top with a fake name you won't get the prize for winning."

Kenji looked over at his screen. "Nice name," he said.

"Thanks," said Nephrite.

Then next leaderboard somehow managed to write out a sentence. It read, "Nephrite," on one line. "Is," the next line. "The," on the line after that, and on the fourth line, "Best." The final line was "Shitennou."

"Wow," said Nephrite. "The board is all knowing, just like the stars."

Beryl removed the bottom four.

"Noooo!" said Nephrite.

Zoisite slipped up to number 2. "It's all because I missed that one question on purpose!" he complained.

"You'll never catch me now!" said Nephrite. "Eat my dust, kid!"

But another name slipped onto the board, one so vulgar that it could not be stated in this story without moving the rating to M.

Beryl just shook her head sadly.

"Alright, who did it?" she said. "I'm done with playing around."

"No one," said Jadeite, while he fixed several tabs.

"Hmm," said Melvin. "I think it was one of those rowdy boys from the Kahoot crashing Reddit."

"No," said Kunzite. "There's no such thing. It got shut down."

"There's a new one," said Nephrite.

"Shut up," said Kunzite. "Whose side are you on?"

Queen Beryl moved to the next question.

The question ended, and she hoped nothing rowdy would pop up.

For once, nothing did.

Melvin took third, and Zoisite clung to second.

The bottom two were random names, such as James Neutron and Hughby Dughby.

Beryl kept going, but that's when Hughby Dughby slipped off the board.

"Who is Shitface?" demanded Beryl.

Jadeite chuckled. "Heh heh heh heh."

"Aha!" said Beryl.

"No, it was just funny," said Jadeite. "I don't condone that behavior."

"I'm gonna wipe Shitface," said Beryl, erasing him.

"Heh, you probably should," said Nephrite.

"Silence!" said Beryl.

"Guys!" said Melvin. "That's not funny! Kahoot should be used for learning, not a quick and childish joke!"

"Heh," said Motoki. "I'm climbing up at rank 16."

"Haha," said Grandpa. "I'm 15. Eat my dust, kid."

Melvin had happy fingers, and accidentally clicked Mayonnaise instead of Metalia.

"Shoot!" said Melvin, as he dropped to rank 8.

But that's when he spotted rank 7.

"Melvin is…?!" he read out loud in shock. "Melvin is a…. GAYBO?! BERYYLLLLLLL!"

"Sorry," said Beryl. "We'll have to keep going."

All four Shitennou snickered under their breath.

The next question was a very easy one, but Jadeite misread it and put sliver crystal instead of silver crystal.

"No!" said Jadeite, after putting in all 20 of his accounts. "Why would that be an answer? It's not a knowledge question, it's a reading question!"

Beryl looked at the answer list.

"Hmm," she said. "20 people all answered Sliver Crystal?! And they all seem to be on the same proxy?!"

"Uh oh," said Jadeite. "Maybe the proxy wasn't the best idea."

Beryl approached his computer, and he closed Google Chrome.

"Jadeite," said Beryl. "You're supposed to be on Kahoot. Not staring at your anime girl wallpaper."

"Oops," said Jadeite. "I accidentally closed it."

"That's odd," said Beryl. "20 people just missed the last question, and Jadeite was one of them."

"I think I'm being framed," said Jadeite.

"That's it," said Beryl. "I'm cracking down."

"Show me all your screens!"

Beryl walked over to Nephrite's, and that's when Queen Beryl is a Shitter, as well as Queen Shitalia left the game.

Zoisite quickly closed down the rest of his tabs, and after Beryl checked he rejoined on ten different accounts.

Beryl walked over to Kunzite.

"Nothing to see here," said Kunzite.

And that's how it appeared, with only one tab on his Google Chrome that was his true name, and a second tab open to "New Tab."

But that's when Beryl closed his new tab.

But it still said he had two windows opened.

"Hmm," she said.

Kunzite started to sweat.

Beryl opened up his other Google Chrome window to see 50 tabs, so many that they were stacked into two rows.

At the bottom of the second row was a tab for the Kahoot crashing Reddit.

Beryl closed his window without mercy.

"NOOO!" said Kunzite. "Some of those were in the top ten! They were about to get on stage!"

Beryl just shook her head sadly.

"Foolish mistake," said Nephrite.

The Kahoot game progressed, and Beryl was still being bombarded with gag names.

"One more name and it's over!" she shouted. "I did this to make learning fun, not to play a game! If we have to end Kahoot, then I'll make you read the Negatextbook!"

"No, please," said Jed. "None of them are me!"

Beryl continued, and all four Shitennou made the leaderboard, mainly because they had to start over with the accounts that were closed.

"Yahoo!" cheered Melvin when he made it back to number 5.

It was a heated scrap between the top five, but suddenly Melvin dropped off again because of his happy fingers.

Queen Metalia replaced him.

"Hey," said Beryl. "What is this?! Metalia doesn't have fingers!"

"Heh heh heh," laughed Jed.

Beryl shut down the game.

"NOOO!" said Zoisite. "If you were gonna put a name, at least put an inappropriate or funny one!"

"It was funny," argued Jadeite.

"Get out," said Beryl. "All of you, get out!"

"I demand compensation for my wasted time," said Grandpa.

"You weren't even playing," said Beryl. "You were just playing Club Parakeet Island that you downloaded on the Negaverse tablet, against all rules!"

"Goodbye," said Grandpa. He walked out and left.

The Shitennou took off hastily.

"That was fun," admitted Kunzite. "I didn't think it would be. Let's go crash someone else's Kahoot."

"Good idea," said Jadeite. "Let's head to the Negacomputer lounge so we can make tabs faster."


Mrs. Nakamura opened a Kahoot game for her first graders to practice basic addition.

The first graders were having a lot of fun, until suddenly a pack appeared on the leaderboards.

"What does… 'Shitter' mean?" asked a seven-year-old.

The teacher spun around and did a double-take.

"BWAAA!" she cried. "Who did this!?"

She closed off Kahoot forever and the kids got a stern discipline.

"How do you younglings even know those words?" the teacher wanted to know.

The Shitennou snickered in the lounge.

"The Kahoot closed!" laughed Zoisite. "And only on question 5! What a beatdown!"

"Here's another one!" called Jadeite, camping three Kahoot crashing Reddits and the Kahoot tag on Omegle.

"Hmm," said Kunzite. "It's good we don't have school. We can sit here during school hours and crash all Kahoots ever. Our goal is to get a message on the Kahoot homepage about the band of Kahoot Raiders all the teachers have been crying about."

Ms. Haruna brought up the Kahoot for her middle school students.

"Oh boy!" said Melvin. "I was just playing one of these the other day! I love Kahoot! Hopefully no raiders will appear. Please, class, do not share your Kahoot code with anyone."

But that's when 20 names popped up on the board before it could even start.

Ms. Haruna gave her class a very stern scolding, and started the game after removing all the bandits.

That's when the first question popped up, and the Shitennou were stumped.

"Do you guys remember how to do PEMDAS?" asked Zoisite.

"Not a clue," said Kunzite.

"Hmm," said Jadeite. "This looks like a good occasion to test out the Kahoot Ninja."

"What is that?" asked Nephrite.

"A bot that gives you all the right answers for Kahoot," said Jadeite.

"Wow," said Zoisite. "I didn't know such things existed. It's good to see that there's a large Kahoot crashing community."

Jadeite's bot took him straight to the top, with five linked inappropriate names, and the 20 below them also being inappropriate names.

Ms. Haruna had to shut it down, and everyone cheered wildly.

There was a big investigation at the school, but when they checked the IP's, they were from an unknown location.

After 20 days, they tracked down who posted on the Kahoot crashing Reddit, and Molly was sternly disciplined.

"It was all in good fun," pleaded Molly. "I didn't think you could track down who posted on the Reddit."

"It's easy," said Ms. Haruna. "That's why we have laptop numbers! And next time, clear your history, kid!"

"Wait," said Molly. "You looked at the history of every single laptop and on all our school accounts?"

"Shut up," said Ms. Haruna. "Do you think Kahoot is some kind of game?"

Suddenly, a stranger walked into the Negacomputer lounge. He was flanked by Ryo, Yuuji, glasses kid, and Ami Mizuno.

When the stranger stepped into the light, it was revealed to be none other than Melvin.

"Melvin?" asked Jadeite. "So you've switched to the dark side?"

"No," said Melvin. "We came to offer you a large money sum to stop crashing Kahoots, forever."

"Let's see the money," said Zoisite.

"No," said Jadeite. "We won't change!"

Zoisite shushed him. "We know," said Zoisite. "Just play along."

Melvin showed Zoisite the suitcase of human money.

Zoisite took it.

He fired a beam, killing them all.

"Foolish human kids," said Zoisite. "The Kahoot crashing community will never fall."

"You're getting really into this," said Nephrite, gesturing to Zoisite's Kahoot Crasher desktop background.

"I'm gonna make a YouTube channel," said Zoisite. "The official Kahoot Crashing YouTube. I'll record all our exploits, and post a couple compilations at some point of the best 10 Kahoot raids of the year."

"I'll subscribe right away!" said Kunzite.

"Hmm," said Jadeite. "Maybe we should infiltrate a high school, and record the incident as it goes down. That would make a good vid for the channel."

"Ooooh!" said Zoisite. "I once posed as Sailor Moon, so I could easily pass as a young schoolgirl."

"Hmm," said Kunzite. "Why not a young schoolboy?"

Zoisite looked at Kunzite and said nothing.

And with that, Jadeite insisted he would be the one to infiltrate the humans, since he knew how to blend into humans the best.

It took nine months, but they finally had a Kahoot.

Jadeite texted the Shitennou the code.

"It's time," said Zoisite. "Are you wearing your camera helmet?"

"Yes," texted Jadeite. "I've worn it every day for the past nine months."

"Let's give them the what-for!" said Kenji, who was a substitute for Jadeite and was in charge of managing the Kahoot Ninja.

"This is gonna be good," thought Zoisite, joining with 50 accounts and lagging the whole Negaverse. "I've spent months coming up with the most inappropriate names I could find."

"We might crash the Kahoot game at this rate," said Nephrite.

Kunzite launched up a bot, and 50 accounts covered the board at the school, all with the same name.

"WOAH!" yelled the teacher. "What is this!?"

"AHAHAHAH" laughed Jadeite loudly.

Kunzite was joining on accounts faster than the teacher could remove, thanks to his bot.

The teacher had to shut down the Kahoot game and make a new one.

"Alright," said Zoisite. "Let's hold out until the game actually starts. Otherwise she won't start it."

"That's fine," said Kunzite.

Jadeite tossed the new code, and they waited patiently.

Kenji was shaking, practically vibrating with excitement.

"I'm glad you included me," he said.

"You're only a substitute," said Kunzite.

The game began.

The Kahoot bot worked hard, giving all the accounts a score of 1000, all with a 0.00% time penalty.

"Wow," said a boy. "It's like there's robots in this game! I studied for 12 hours but even that wasn't enough!"

The leaderboard popped up, and some very lewd names shot to the top, words the teacher had never actually seen written but only heard of.

"HEYO!" said the teacher. "We got some rowdy ones today!"

But then she laughed. "You kids are a bit young to know these words."

Jadeite waited for the meltdown, but there was none.

The teacher simply closed the Kahoot, and then laughed some more, as if she had a sense of humor or something.

"This won't work," Jadeite texted the others. "It's a no go!"

"What?!" texted back Nephrite. "You can't be serious. You stayed there 9 months for this. You should have just used hypnotism to slip into the class!"

"That's not fun or fair," said Jadeite.

"We're coming over," replied Nephrite.

"What do you mean?!" demanded Jed.

That's when Kunzite flew in in a portal, shooting a beam and killing the teacher.

Zoisite leaped out of the portal and threw a beam, flushing three boys out the window.

Nephrite came in in his own portal, and dropkicked a kid, killing him.

Kenji leapt out and tackled a boy, but he was a fit young man, so they became locked in a wrestling match.

"I wish you were Shingle," grunted Kenji as his face turned red from the amount of effort he had to put it.

"I wish I had kept fit in my older years," he said, finally killing the boy.

"Well," said Zoisite. "Since this is already going to make news, we might as well end the whole school."

Kunzite put a bubble, surrounding the entire school.

Kunzite began closing in the bubble, shattering the kids in the classrooms on the edge.

"No, wait," said Zoisite. "That's no fun!"

Kunzite stopped closing in the bubble. "Alright," he said. "I'll stand here holding up the bubble so no one escapes. The rest of you go end every human in the school."

Zoisite walked into the first grade class, and watched amused as a couple kids took chairs, trying to break the bubble.

Several of them threw themselves into the bubble.

"Nice effort, small ones," said Zoisite.

The kids turned around in horror, and all charged Zoisite.

"Heyo!" said Zoisite. "Are kids a little mightier than they used to be? It must be the artificial foods."

Zoisite went to 50% power, and defeated all the kids.

Meanwhile, Nephrite barged into a class and threw a quick kick, ending a kid's neck.

"Hooha!" he yelled.

That's when a heroic teacher got him in a full nelson, as several other kids tried to throw punches at his exposed torso.

"No!" said the teacher. "Run now!"

"Fools!" said Nephrite. "There is no running!"

He leapt high into the air, and dropped the teacher to the floor, shattering her like glass.

He threw many punches and kicks, ending the students, but there were still a lot more students to go.

"Hmm," he said. "The students, knowing they're trapped, are starting to go into fight or flight. Since there's only four of us, they're banding together several classes against us."

"HEeeeeeEELP!" called Zoisite from the high school hall.

"Kenji's down!" called Jadeite from a middle school classroom.

"Shoot," said Nephrite. "I knew eventually he would fall, but not this soon."

Kenji was torn to shreds by the brutal middle schoolers, who began battering his remains.

"Savages!" yelled Jadeite, shooting lightning out of his palms and taking down 20 kids.

"Guuuuuuyyyyyys!" cried Zoisite, still getting pummeled by the football team. "We need back-up!"

"Do you want me to drop the bubble?" called Kunzite

"No," said Zoisite. "Keep it up at all costs!"

Several boys tried to run up and attack the open Kunzite, but Kunzite's aura tossed them away.

Zoisite looked out the window to see police cars were gathered around the bubble trying to take it down.

Someone was hitting it with a battery ram over and over.

But sadly there was no chance of them getting in until all the kids were gone.

Nephrite knew there was no choice but to summon Leo the Lion, and unleashed him on a full class.

"Leo's invincible, so he can keep fighting forever," said Nephrite as Leo mauled many younglings.

Jadeite walked down the hall.

"Hmm," he said. "All the lights are off in the classrooms, but I know they didn't go anywhere."

He threw a kick, shattering a door, and a bunch of kids in the corner screamed.

Jadeite threw himself at the pile, taking down more than half of them.

He picked up a kid and threw him into a wall.

"Hooha!" he yelled, echoing Nephrite.

He summoned several Youmas, knowing that there will be more than enough for him to get his fill of clobbering kids.

"There's easily 5,000 kids in this school!" he chuckled. "It's like going to a buffet! This is for not playing Kahoot for nine months!"

Some kid leapt at Jadeite with a fire extinguisher, and hit him square in the head.

"Owwooo," said Jadeite. He turned around and blasted the kid to bits, and then swung the fire extinguisher, pummeling many children.

Eventually the whole school was gone, so the Shitennou left and dropped the bubble, leaving the Youmas to face the heat of the police.

It was not very hot, so the Youmas evaded the police. But since they couldn't make their own portals, they eventually died off, with some who ran off into hiding living to see another day.

Back in the Negaverse, the news had already spread.

"Take a look at this," said Jadeite, at the AOL news page. "It's stated to be an even bigger event than the giant crystal in season 2!"

Kunzite read the headline out loud. "5,000 dead over game of Kahoot."

Kunzite nodded in pride. "Good work, everyone. But I wish I could have my hand at some small fries. I would just keep up a forcefield of dark energy and shoot waves and blasts, exploding kids 5 a pop."

"Hmm," said Jadeite. "I wonder though, are we bad people?"

"No," said Zoisite. "Too bad Kenji died in combat."

"He's just a normal human," said Nephrite. "He couldn't fight an entire school without dropping. I believe a middle schooler hit him with a desk before he fell."

"Sad," said Kunzite. "He will be missed."

FIN