A/N: Wow, I have been absent for soooo long that half the jokes I have prepared were already outdated and so many memes on JP were killed. On a side note, I made progress on filling all slots in my support with SSR — specifically on the Caster slot.
I now have a shared Discord server here: /25BTet3, or as url discord. gg /25BTet3.
Most people there follow My Hero Academia fandom, but it's a writer group first and fandom second. Just please be aware that beside my fic, the general knowledge about Nasuverse will be a bit lacking in the server; Hell, even I am not an expert.
Beta by ekaterina016
Gudako, the Supreme Master of Chaldea
Breakfast of Gold
It was an early morning in Chaldea, but the facility had already seen activities — mainly in the cafeteria.
"Order Five is up!" Emiya called and a staff came forward to receive his bowl of congee.
It was a fairly busy already, with everyone in a hurry to finish their breakfast and got to work. They were now working around the clock to maintain the facility. The presence of Heroic Spirits did help with the overall situation, but everyone still had to pull their weight, given the lack of replenishment for human resources around the world.
The door to the cafeteria opened, but instead of a footstep echoing in the chamber, it was the sound of hooves clopping. Every pair of eyes which turned to see it were shocked by the sight — EMIYA had to double face-palm himself.
Gudako and Medusa rode on a pegasus (EMIYA assumed this was Bellerophon, Medusa's Noble Phantasm), with two large sacks hanging on its sides. They seemed to be so heavy it was struggling to move along. Behind them were three unconscious Servants: Lu Bu, Lancelot, and Lan Cu, dragged on by the ropes tied around their feet and the pegasus's tail.
"We're here!" Gudako cheered, getting off her steed along with Medusa. Now that it had reached its destination, Bellerophon finally gave in to its exhaustion and crumpled down on the floor, breathing heavily. Rider knelt down to tend to it.
The Co-Master of Chaldea, meanwhile, took one of the bags and marched up toward the cafeteria's counter. Every staff made way for her, making sure not to stay in the path of the infamous Master.
"What if she saw us?" Kojirou asked some of his fellow Servants who were sitting at one of the tables, among them Scheherazade and the two Hassans.
"What's the worst she could do?" Hundred Faces asked. She only received silence as her reply.
"We're seriously going to have a talk about your habit to keep tempting fate, Hundred Faces," Cursed Arm reprimanded his fellow Hassan.
"Wait, I got it!" Kojirou suddenly realized. "We have Presence Concealment," the Assassin pointed out.
"B-But I don't have that skill," Scheherazade argued. The others looked at her then at their cheery master who, as a reminder, could wrestle with a Servant, win, and pull off ridiculous feasts. They offered her one final sympathetic look, before simply disappearing into the thin air — activating their Presence Concealment.
"Ekkkkk! D-Don't leave me!" The Caster whimpered meekly. Twisting her head around this way and that to find any way out of this situation, Scheherazade decided to hide under the table and hoped the abomination would leave her alone.
Luckily for her, the greedy Master couldn't care less about a Caster with mismatched and underwhelming kits – she's targeting someone more usable. "Morning, EMIYA!" Gudako greeted.
The Red Archer sighed. "Morning, Master. From what I garnered, you have been busy the whole night, correct?"
"If this isn't you, I would assume you are trying to make a dirty joke," Gudako replied with a sly grin. "But, yes, I have been busy farming QP since last night, which is why I am here. Now that I have the resources, it's time to raise some Servants' level." She slammed the sack onto the counter. "Made something out of these and fed them to… hmm… Artoria, Lu Bu, and all of the Assassins, would you? Gonna need them up to shape for the future fight – oh, and cook yourself a little something with the leftover as well." With that done, the Master turned around, leaving.
EMIYA grabbed the mouth of the sack and pulled them open. He gasped. Wisdom pieces, shiny, glittered, 40-AP-to-farm, and golden Wisdoms.
"Oh, and one more thing," Gudako spoke up and glanced back at EMIYA. "Tell them to stay after the meal; we have some Ascensioning to do!"
With that, the Master left for good, leaving the hall in silence. Once she was gone, EMIYA looked at the sack one more time. He contemplated not cooking with these, but knowing his Master, he would be ordered to do so with Command Seal anyways. So, with another heavy sigh, he mumbled, "I can make this work."
"I hope so," Sakaki said when he and the two Hassan finally lowered their Presence Concealment. "I will be eating that, not you."
"And why does Master tell you to specifically cook these for Assassin class?" Hassan of the Hundred Face asked.
None of them could have imagined the copious among of dragons they would be slaying.
Gudao opened his eyes and returned to the waking world. Yesterday was… a little strange. Now he had a sudden urge to consume Monster energy drink — though somehow, he felt like yesterday's event was not related to this.
The young Master tried to get up, but found firm arms locking him in a hug. He tried to wiggle out of this hold, but instead ended up waking his holder.
"Good morning, Senpai," Mash quickly greeted with a smile, though her usual gentle grin seemed to hold some… malice behind them.
"Umm… Morning, Mash," Gudao tried to play this off. Then, now that his mind was more awake, he had fully remembered what had transpired yesterday. He also recalled how distressed Mash actually was. "Mash… about yesterday. Look, I know I was a bit… out of hands."
"That's fine, Senpai," Mash reassured with a brighter, 'purer' smile. Gudao stared at it, remarking how even in the dark her smile shone bright (not literally, mind you) — it almost looked too naive for its own good. So, with a heavy heart and a deep sigh, the Master of Chaldea knew what he had to do.
"Mash, look… I am not gonna lie to you, but I… do find feminine men… attractive." Gudao kept in mind sometimes wording can change the tone of the message entirely. He could have said 'I'm actually into traps' and it would have the same meaning, but it would have been rude, crude, and harsh toward Mash.
"Oh," Mash exclaimed, looking both surprised and sad.
"With that said, that doesn't mean I am not into women. I just… have an open-mind," Gudao reassured.
"I-I see…" Kyrielight looked visibly more relieved. 'Senpai is truly amazing. Manage to keep to be so open-minded when it comes to… companionship… That also meant I still have a chance!' Mash's chest puffed up slightly, feeling much better than yesterday – though even Mash questioned a little why she was so… depressed after Gudao had gone a little… eager about shota. Perhaps Gudako-senpai had truly affected them in a way beyond their understanding.
Mash suddenly jumped. She felt like something caressed her backside.
The purple-haired girl immediately lifted the blanket. Gudako's multiple arms stopped caressing over Mash's body and waved at them, "Morning, guys."
Paris was walking in the hallway with Apollo on top of his head.
A scream suddenly came from his Master's room, one belonged to Mash and the other to his Master.
Most Servants would immediately surge forward to protect their Master, but after yesterday's event…
Paris ignored the following cry for help and kept walking, the sheep Apollo bleating in approval.
"...Archer… is this some kind of elaborate joke?" Artoria asked, as she looked at the meal in front of her. Her breakfast was worthy of a king, that's for sure, but to even consider it 'food' would be an insult. Everything, everything on the table – ranging from the 'sandwich' to 'fried egg' to 'bacon' and so on… were all made out of Wisdom. How? Most likely Magecraft mixed with Master Gudako's usual shenanigans, and EMIYA's cooking skill as well.
The table she was sitting in was tucked into the corner of the cafeteria as to not disturb the staff – not that there were many staff left to disturb since it was already closer to noon. The Assassins alongside Lu Bu were also seated at the table, though in contrast eating the food made of Wisdom without a problem, unlike Saber.
"I am actually impressed by your craftsmanship, Red Archer," Hundred Face complimented while using her spoon to scoop up some hummus (made of Wisdom as well) before smearing the nutty goodness onto a thin pita bread (also made of Wisdom).
"Mmm, this really tastes like a weird yogurt," Mata Hari commented after she swallowed a spoonful of an accurate imitation of the daily product – in term of texture at least. The taste was a weird mixture of moderate sweetness, a good kind of sourness, cinnamon-like spiciness, and… saltiness – more specifically, salty like tears.
"Even then…" Artoria tried to argue, but trailed off. She just wanted to taste normal Shiro's cooking!
EMIYA sighed. "Look, I tried my best when Master Gudako ordered me to feed you these, but this is the best I can come up with."
"I would say you did a splendid job," Sakaki reassured him, biting an almost perfect imitation of a grilled saba made out of Wisdom.
"Can't we just eat in peace?" Stheno suddenly spoke up. "I need a quiet breakfast today." The bag under her eyes and her choice of food – bland congee (still made of Wisdom) – told them all about her current condition, especially after what she went through yesterday.
At her request, all conversation stopped, and the only audible sound was the noise from eating. Artoria just gave up and ate the food. It wasn't bad, but it was nowhere near the quality of Shiro's food with actual ingredients.
…why the Hell was she keep referring to EMIYA as 'Shiro'? She knew they were the same person just from a different timeline, but she seemed to just keep thinking he was Shiro.
Suddenly, someone kicked down the cafeteria's door. Everyone knew there was only one person who would do that. Gudako wasted no time marching up to the table the Servant was dining at.
"We all know what to do," Sasaki reminded them. Soon, all the Assassins disappeared into thin air, leaving only Lu Bu, who was unconcerned and kept on eating, and Artoria, who was confused at first but soon remembered they had Presence Concealment.
"Ugh, those Assassins…!" Artoria cursed.
"Don't worry, I am still here…" Despite saying that, EMIYA activated his Evade skill.
"Seibah!" Gudako greeted and slammed her hands onto the table as she arrived.
"...Yes, Master?" The King of England replied, despite the botched pronunciation of her class name.
"Are you Level 50 yet?"
"Uhhh…" She wasn't sure how to reply to that.
"Never mind; let me check." Gudako grabbed Saber by her face and pulled her forward, before gazing deep into the king's eyes.
Artoria wasn't sure what her co-Master was looking at, but all Saber could see were those light-less, soul-less empty orange eyes. It made her shiver.
"Right, you're Level 50 now." Gudako let go of Saber's head before turning to EMIYA. "My compliments to the chef," she praised with a thumbs-up. The Archer merely nodded. "Right; time to Ascend you, then!" The master pulled out several Saber pieces and dragon teeth, before handing them to Saber. As with Cu before, she channeled her Prana, and light shone from the King of England. Once it subsides, Saber was in her new form, not dissimilar to her previous one but with more armor covering her.
"Ah! The iconic form! Now, this is the Saber who is the face of the Fate franchise!" Gudako cheered.
"Umm, thank you, Master," Saber feigned gratitude. In reality, she didn't really understand what was going on, though she certainly felt more powerful.
"Don't mention it," Gudako replied. "Alright guys, drop your Concealment, this is all we will be doing today."
With their worry dismissed, the Assassin Servants revealed themselves. Gudako did not waste any time and began their respective Ascensions. By the end of it, all the Assassins were in their second form.
"Alrighty! We are ready for Orleans!"
"Orleans?" Charlotte repeated. "As in Orleans, France?"
"Yes, that's where the next Singularity is," Gudako confirmed.
"If I remember correctly…" Stheno spoke up. "You said Assassin is strong against Rider, correct? So, does that mean our enemies will be Rider?"
"Yeah, lots of shitty Rider mobs with some Saber bosses, some Assassin bosses… some Berserkers… and… a Ruler…" Gudako trailed off. Before long, the Master began to panic, "Oh, gods, I forget how lacking my Servant roster is. No AOE Lancer, no Riders, no usable Casters, and not a single Archer! I can't keep relying on borrowing Gudao-chan Servants! And even if I do, his roster is weak with tons of under-leveled Servants! What do I do?!"
As if to present her with a solution to her problem, three of Gudao's Servants walked in.
"Why don't you go back to that empty desert of yours, huh?!" Caenis yelled.
"Oh, the 'desert' is much more preferable than here in your company!" Nitocris raged back.
"Can't you two just stop fighting!?" At this point, even Lakshmibai was at the end of her patience for these two.
Gudako watched as the three came into the cafeteria, ignorant of the Servants' gathering and of the new plan forming in Gudako's mind.
The trio came to a stop at the cafeteria counter, with Madelyn coming up to take their order. "Welcome to the cafeteria, what can I get you? We are rationing, so we might not have everything you want."
"Porridge and fruit," Lakshmibai quickly ordered.
Nitocris was next. "I will have-"
"Meat, anything you got – even jerky." Ceanis cut the Pharaoh off. "Also, some oliv-"
"Stop cutting me off!" The Caster elbowed the Lancer, hard.
"Fuck off, bitch! Let me order in peace!" Ceanis shot back with her own elbow strike.
The two soon returned to their fighting and arguing.
Madelyn looked on, uncertain about what to do. She looked at the rani for guidance, but the Indian Servant could only offer her a shrug. A shadow fell over the two rival Servants. The head of the cafeteria immediately walked backwards all the way into her kitchen for safety, while Lakshmibai no longer felt hungry and beat a hasty retreat as far away from ground zero as possible.
"Why don't you just shove the staff up your ass!"
"Why don't you just kill yourself with that spear!"
"Oh, I will-" The Lancer stopped when she felt an arm locked around her neck, tight. She glanced over to her nemesis and discovered she was a similar state.
"Come on you two, don't fight," Gudako, floating up to their height, urged. "We are trying to save humanity here; we all should be friends."
Great sense of fear came over the two Servants, their instinct telling them no matter what, they would have to get away from their Master.
"O-Of course, Master. I-I was merely… being… casual with Ceanis, here!" The Pharaoh lied, but it was an acceptable reasoning nonetheless. She tried to put on a forced smile.
"Y-Yeah! W-We are just poking fun at each other, l-like friends do," the Lancer played along.
"I am glad to hear that!" Despite her cheerfulness, Gudako did not let go. "In any event, I just realize you two fulfill the two exact roles we are missing from the Servants here in Chaldea: AOE Lancer and Caster… I mean, Gerry is also an AOE Caster, but he doesn't really count." Somehow, the two believed Geronimo would be glad to hear that. "So, it's only proper we raise your level up. Unfortunately, for the both of you," Gudako sighed, "we ran out of 'Roaring Flames of Wisdom'." They were both sensing a 'but'. "But worry not! We still have 'Blaze of Wisdom' – you just need to eat a lot more of them, that's all!"
Gudako opened her mouth before vomiting out a gigantic sack. From the opening, they could see hundreds of silver crystals. At this point, both the staff and other Servants were already leaving as quietly and quickly as they could.
"Unfortunately, we don't have time to make EMIYA cook for us, so let's do this the old-fashioned way." Two new arms emerged from Gudako's body, reaching into the sack and scooping out a large pile of Wisdom. "Open wide!"
"Wait! Master-" Both blurped out in unison, and both were quickly silenced as Gudako began the torturous process of leveling up Servants with nothing but Blaze of Wisdom.
In the end, Gudako Ascended the two Servants all the way to their first level, though at the cost of all their sanity, all her remaining Wisdom, and no small amount of resources.
Now, they were ready for Orlean… not that there was much to worry about, being only the first Singularity and all.
A/N: A short chapter, but I am writing to let people know this story isn't canceled or anything. Now I will go write one last story in my rotation and we will see how I will do next. Kinda want to finish just one of the stories within the rotation at this point; luckily there's exactly one that can be finished within a reasonable length. Plus I am still recovering from my second wisdom tooth removal.
