"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"
"Quiet, Jadeite, I'm watching the news," said Beryl.
"What be happenin'?" asked Jeddo. "And where did you get that TV? When was this installed?"
"Last night," said Beryl. "That's why I'm watching it. I gotta get my money's worth."
"Understandable," said Jeddo.
Jadeite waited, shifting on his feet.
He whistled the Negaverse theme a bit, but it was drowned out by the actual theme that was playing loudly.
"Queen Beryl, may I be excused?" asked Jadeite finally.
"Yes," said Beryl. "Go away. I didn't tell you to come here."
"Alright," said Jadeite.
He went to leave.
But that's when he heard Beryl let out a yelp.
"Oooh!" she said. "A riot!"
She turned up the TV to max volume, and Jadeite sprinted back.
"Woah!" said Jadeite. "They're going at it!"
"Mmmm," said Beryl. "This chaos is like candy to my eyes. Music to my ears."
"Mmmm," said Zoisite, who was just there. "How did this riot break out, anyway? Who are the two combating parties?"
"Well," said Beryl. "I believe it was supposed to be a peace march, but then the peace march turned into a full-scale riot and rocks were thrown through windows. Cars were flipped, and stores were looted. And then the slugging on the streets of the anti-protestors began."
"What's an anti-protestor?" said Kunzite.
"Ah," said Beryl. "It's someone that protests protests, and tries to stop protests with violence."
"Oooooh!" said Nephrite. "Here comes the riot breakers!"
That's when the SWAT team came in, and started spraying hoses at people, taking them down.
One man stood there taking the hose hit for five minutes, just to prove something, and then went down like a tree.
"Very brave man," said Kunzite.
That's when the tear gas came raining like meteors, but the protestors were a resilient bunch, and while covering their faces, threw the tear gas back at the SWAT team.
One man threw a dropkick at a SWAT team member, but a Taser came at him from behind.
He still marched on, but taking very shaky steps as he was being Tasered.
A second Taser flew in and he finally died.
"What is the point of staying standing during a Taser?" said Zoisite. "Doesn't he know it's over anyway?"
"It's a pride thing," said Kunzite. "You wouldn't understand."
"When are we going to go to a riot?" said Jadeite. "It looks like fun!"
"I guess next time there is one," said Nephrite.
"Let's just start one," said Kenji, marching in. "I've already prepared some signs!"
"Wow," said Beryl. "Never underestimate Kenji."
"What are those signs for?" asked Jadeite. "I thought we were going to riot."
"Yes," said Kenji. "But we're going to disguise it as a protest, so they don't send the SWAT team in right away. If we're lucky we can loot a couple TV's in the chaos. I threw Shingle into our TV, so I'm on the market for a new one."
"You should get one like mine," said Beryl. "It's very high quality."
"Are there going to be anti-protestors?" asked Nephrite.
"Yes," said Kenji. "But only if we protest something very offensive."
"Gooooood," said Nephrite. "I wanna fight them! And the SWAT team!"
"I couldn't agree more," said Kunzite. "Let's go rally our forces and hit Tokyo square at 3 PM tomorrow!"
"Hot dog," said Zoisite.
"Have fun," said Beryl. "I would come, but I don't want to receive tear gas like someone receiving a bad gift for Christmas. I will watch you from my TV and cheer you on."
A crowd of about 20 stood in the middle of Tokyo square with signs and offensive get-up from the old days.
"It's hard to see out of this costume," said Jadeite.
"It's okay," said Nephrite. "As long as we offend people."
They each had picket signs with offensive content.
Kenji's sign read, "Kill all children! Like my son Shingo!"
Jadeite had a sign that said, "Women are foolish and weak!"
Nephrite's sign said, "Expand the pay gap."
And Zoisite and Kunzite's were too racist to put in this fanfiction. However they were against all races equally and did not favor any particular race.
Motoki had a sign, but all it said was, "Fascist government!"
Motoki's sister had a sign supporting his, that said, "Bring back the USSR!"
Grandpa's sign was very dumb, and was simply, "All women should work at my temple!"
He was only there for personal reasons, and truly believed in his message.
Gamer Joe simply had a sign that was offensive to every single human being. It read, "Eat shit!"
The last notable one was Mr. Kitakata, who had a very long poster with text too small to read explaining the benefits of communism.
"Nice signs, everyone," said Melvin. "However mine is the best."
"Melvin," said Nephrite. "Your sign is really stupid, and won't offend anyone."
"Wrong," said Melvin. His sign said, "Ban dead memes from Discord!"
Melvin was actually holding two signs, and his second one was, "No memes in general discussion!"
"Why is he even here?" said Zoisite.
"Shut up," said Melvin. "I'm offended by your sign."
"Good," said Zoisite.
Diana was there as well. But she'd surely be crushed very soon.
Nonetheless, she sported a huge sign bigger than herself full of homophobic slurs.
"You know what?" said Kunzite. "Let's just save the trouble of you getting crushed by the anti-protestors and/or drowned by the hose water, and finish you off now."
Diana tried to run, but Kunzite crushed her with his boot like a bug.
Haruna-sensei thought it was an actual protest, and had a reasonable sign about teachers getting more pay.
"I think I'm at the wrong protest," she said. "Is it too late to back out?"
"Yes," said Kunzite. "I'll kill you like that small homophobic kitten."
Haruna gulped and decided to accept her fate.
"I think we have covered any possible thing that could offend anyone," said Jadeite. "Let's start the march."
They took to the streets, and started yelling.
"Fascist government!" shouted Jadeite at the top of his lungs.
"Plessy vs. Ferguson!" chanted Zoisite.
Grandpa yelled the word that got Jadeite banned from Twitch, and repeated it ten times.
"Well, they should be coming any second now," said Jadeite. "Fat man and little boy!" added Jadeite, due to their location.
"Who's coming?" said Ms. Haruna.
"The antifa," explained Kunzite.
"The anti fah?" said Melvin. "What does that mean?"
"Anti-fascists," said Nephrite. "The true bad guys."
"I don't think so," said Melvin. "Fascism has proven time and time again to be a bad form of government, and in fact led to the USSR's demise."
"Shut up," said Zoisite. "We're trying to pick fights here, not be reasonable. Don't you want this battle?"
"No," said Melvin. "I just wanted to make sure no one posts memes on general discussion. All I do every day is sort through the real posts and the memes, removing every meme I see up to ten days ago."
"I too do not want to battle," said Ms. Haruna.
"Shut up," said Jadeite. "I hope they expand the pay gap, just particularly to ruffle your jammies."
"I'll have you know!" shouted Ms. Haruna.
But that's when they heard a rumbling.
It was none other than the antifa, charging with all they had.
"Here we go!" said Jadeite, getting in his fighting stance.
Zoisite yelled some racial remarks as they neared, just to taunt them.
That's when first blood arrived on them, and a man came right for Jadeite, throwing a wild punch.
Jadeite could have easily dodged it, but he let it hit him because he wanted to make it clear there was fighting on both sides.
He received the blow, and that's when all hell broke loose.
"They're attacking peaceful protestors!" yelled Kunzite. "HEEEEEEEEEELP!"
Kenji threw a brick through a window and started looting a TV store.
He left with a new flat screen and did not return.
Nephrite threw a dropkick, sending him and the man to the ground.
Kunzite hit a man with his giant sign, instantly killing him.
20 men tackled Zoisite, and began tossing him back and forth like a ball.
"WwaAAAAAAAAaaA!" yelled Zoisite. "Woah boy!" he yelled, not enjoying the ride as much as he thought he would.
Melvin was backed into a corner.
He was waving his sign. "Back, you savage memers! Back, I say! Stay back or I'll ban you from my Discord server!"
Melvin's sign was soon confiscated and used to beat him.
Two men held him off the ground, and men took turns throwing blows to his stomach and chest.
A strong man came up and threw a knee right into his stomach.
Melvin received 200 blows that day, but he was dead after 100.
"Halt!" said Ms. Haruna as the rowdy antifa surrounded them. "I am antifa too! I am not with these hooligans, I just wanted more pay for teachers!"
However, since she was a protestor, she had to be disciplined.
She tried to ditch her sign, but a wave of blows came her way.
She decided she was gonna die anyway, so she leapt on top of a man and started throwing punches.
They pried her off, and defeated her.
Meanwhile, the Shitennou and Grandpa were having the fight of their lives, and were easily disposing of the antifa, as they were just regular civilians with morals.
"Remember," said Kunzite throwing kicks. "Reserve your energy for the real battle. The cavalry has not even arrived."
"Right," said Grandpa. He threw two slips like boomerangs, beheading two men.
Jadeite shot lightning, taking down 50.
That's when the familiar sound of sirens approached.
"Let's flee," said Zoisite.
"No," said Kunzite, throwing a punch into a man's stomach. "This is what we came here for."
That's when a wave of strong wind flew past them, and when they were able to open their eyes, they were surrounded ten men per person by the riot squad.
"Ah," said Jadeite. "I'm glad you're here to protect us innocent protestors. These rowdy antifa keep leaping at us like rowdy pups!"
That's when the SWAT team released five fire hoses on him, with so much pressure that he was sent through the wall of a building.
Nephrite leapt into the air and threw a hammer kick, but the SWAT team put up their shields, repelling the attack.
They threw a parry, and Nephrite lost his balance.
He retreated before he was taken down for good.
Jadeite returned and shot lightning, but the SWAT team was armed with their shields, protecting the undefended policemen.
The policemen released the canine unit, and one leapt right for Motoki's neck in one mighty leap.
Motoki socked the pup right in the chops, sending it for a loop but causing no serious harm. The pup tumbled back on the ground but quickly got to his feet.
Motoki retreated back to the crowd.
"It's a good thing Diana is dead," said Nephrite. "She would have perished by this wave of assault."
Kunzite grabbed two SWAT team members by the head and bashed their heads together, killing both.
That's when, to his surprise, he saw members of the antifa who were previously fighting him, charging right for the SWAT team and throwing punches and kicks.
Many received Tasers, but some kept fighting.
"Wow," said Kunzite. "Those rowdy beasts are really aggressors. They don't care who they're fighting and just want to fight."
20 Tasers were sent at all surface area of Jadeite's body, sending more volts of electricity than a bolt of lightning.
The force was so much that Jadeite dropped to his knees, but he held onto life.
He grabbed one of the Tasers by the cords, and started funneling all the electricity into his hands.
Once the Tasers were out of juice, the SWATers retracted them, and pulled out their night clubs for close range combat.
They charged right for Jadeite, and he unleashed a bolt of lightning more powerful than the nuclear fission energy at the core of the sun.
50 guys dropped just from being near it, and Jadeite let out a rowdy howl.
Two antifa leapt on his back though, taking him to the ground.
Nephrite was punching a young woman to her demise, when suddenly the familiar sight of tear gas came upon them, and came raining in like hail during a hailstorm.
Nephrite went to open his mouth, but before he could, one of the antifa yelled, "Cover your faces! And throw them back!"
"Right!" agreed Nephrite.
The two opposing sides rallied together, and started throwing tear gas back at the SWAT team who of course had face masks knowing that this happened every single time.
It looked like a game of dodgeball, but instead of balls it was tear gas flying back and forth.
Motoki charged right for a SWAT team member, exactly like he charged Zoisite, his mouth taking up 90% of his face with a loud battle cry.
That's when a tear gas grenade flew in like a game of ski ball, and Motoki started choking.
"Nooooooooooooo, Motoki," said Motoki's sister.
She ran up and started throwing punches to his stomach to get him to spit it out, but the grenade was still lodged in his vocal cords so all his sister was doing was ruining his chances of living.
That's when Zoisite threw a beam, and Motoki died.
Motoki's sister was tossed to the ground and severely injured.
She stood back up with bloodlust and charged right for Zoisite.
Zoisite readied an invisible wave, but Motoki's sister never got to him, as a pack of ten hounds tackled Motoki's sister to the ground and tore her to shreds.
Once they cleared off, her skeleton was not even there.
The dogs charged right for Zoisite.
"Back, you mangy mutts!" yelled Zoisite, throwing an invisible wave but only taking out a few.
Right when Zoisite thought he was history, five antifa members tackled the dogs, and started punching them.
"Thanks?" asked Zoisite.
The dogs and the antifa were all washed away by a wave of hose water, and neither side was ever seen again.
"Kunzite," said Zoisite, hunting him down in the crowd. "Those hoses are too high pressure."
Just as he said that, a man flew in with a kick right for him, but he grabbed the guy by the leg and threw him into a building.
"Yes," said Kunzite.
That's when ten hoses focused right on them, and ten Tasers as well, hoping to use some kind of combo to amplify the electricity.
Kunzite put up a bubble, absorbing the water and electricity.
He fired it back as an energy ball, and it went off like a nuclear bomb, killing 20 SWAT members.
"Fool," said Kunzite. "Don't try using elements against me."
"But Kunzite," said Zoisite. "I thought that only worked in your dark space."
"I think my dark energy zone was the second fight," said Kunzite. "It doesn't matter though. These are just humans."
Right as he said that, someone in a car mowing down a person every meter charged right towards them.
"Who is this?!" demanded Zoisite. "Is he on our side or theirs?"
Apparently he was on their side, as behind the wheel was none other than Kenji.
"KENJI!" yelled Kunzite. "Man, am I glad to see you. Take down some of the SWAT team while you're at it."
But Kenji had lost control, and plowed right for Kunzite and Zoisite.
To clarify, he had not lost control of the car, but mentally he was off his rocker.
"I don't think he's stopping," said Zoisite.
"MOOOVE!" yelled Kunzite.
He leapt out of the way, with no choice but to grab Zoisite by the hair of all things, and toss him ten feet away.
"OwwwW!" yelled Zoisite, hitting a fire hydrant.
"No!" said the SWAT team. "We were gonna use that to fire our hoses!"
But that's when Kenji took a wild spin of his wheel, flying right into the SWAT team.
They opened fire on the crazy man, but Kenji was unstoppable at this point.
He ducked below the windshield as bullets rained through his car, but suddenly a tear gas grenade landed, and Kenji didn't know to simply cover his face and eyes.
Kenji fell asleep, but this backfired on the SWAT team because the car ran right into them.
"SHOOT!" yelled the head of the SWAT team, as Kenji's gas tank exploded from a rogue Taser and the impact of the car hitting a SWAT vehicle.
500 men died in a blaze of glory.
"Wow," said Zoisite. "What a good man. Even though he tried to KILL us for some reason!"
The crowd was dwindling as the SWAT team was starting to gain control of the rowdy crowd.
A man was breaking open the door to a shop with some kind of crow bar, but he was hit by 500 Tasers and was instantly vaporized.
A man tried to leap inside of a SWAT vehicle, and he almost made it too, but someone grabbed him by the legs, and started dragging him out of the car.
He pushed down on the acceleration with his hand, and the man holding him was tossed and so was he.
The vehicle didn't make it very far, but it killed five people.
The crowd went wild at the SWAT team allegedly running five people down with their vehicle, and amped up their willpower by 500%.
But it was obviously a losing battle, as they were outarmed and outnumbered by the SWAT team.
Soon, the only people left were the Shitennou and Grandpa.
"This has been fun," said Grandpa. "But it's simply my time to go."
He said this because as he fought for the last minutes, he had 14 Tasers attached to him, each shooting 10,000 Joules of energy a second.
Finally his heart gave out, and with his last blow he killed five men.
"Uh oh," said Nephrite. "If Grandpa dropped, that means Zoisite should be soon."
"Zoisite, hang in there," said Kunzite. "Just avoid the hoses."
However, Zoisite had lost it due to inhaling so much tear gas, and he was now delusional.
"W-where am I?!" he cried. "Why am I in the afterlife!?"
"I think it's time to go home," said Kunzite.
He opened a portal, and pushed Zoisite in.
"That's too bad," said Nephrite, as he was throwing a punch to a man who he couldn't quite make out due to the sheer amount of tear gas that made everyone look like shadows.
They couldn't see more than a foot in front of them, and they were still pumping in tear gas like pumping in oxygen to a spacecraft with a hole in it.
"Darn," said Nephrite. "This is like that time I fought the Sailors. I hope no one shoots anything at me from behind."
That's when he turned to see a wave of hose water coming right at him, almost like a tsunami.
"WAaAAA!" yelled Nephrite, leaping into the air.
He leapt 20 feet off the ground, and outside the range of the tear gas.
He shot a Starlight Attack down like a meteor, killing 20 men.
From above, he could see that all the SWAT members were fighting amongst each other, some hitting each other with their shields, unable to see who they were fighting.
"Wow," said Nephrite. "Things have gone from bad to worse."
That's when, out from the cloud of smoke, 20 Tasers flew right at him, but their aim wasn't too good as their vision was clogged beyond clogged.
Many Tasers arced over his head, falling back to the ground.
Nephrite had to dodge a few of the accurate ones, but he made it out relatively unscathed.
He dropped to the ground, to see Jadeite throwing punches at Kunzite.
"Jadeite, stop," said Kunzite. "It's me."
"Aha!" said Jadeite, "So the SWAT team knows how to throw their voices!"
"Stop fooling around," said Nephrite. "I think it's time to go soon. If we leave, there's no way they would know it, and they will keep fighting each other for at least an hour."
"Mmmm," said Kunzite. "We do fight the SWAT team on a daily basis. There's no real point of fighting them for this long. Has antifa been wiped out?"
"Yes," said Jadeite.
As the Shitennou were casually discussing, three SWAT team members charged at them like a wall with their shields.
Kunzite threw a kick, tossing one, and Nephrite got to the ground, and threw a low sweep, tossing the others.
He stood back up, and they continued chatting casually.
"Has Grandpa dropped yet?" said Jadeite.
"Yes," said Kunzite.
"How about Zoisite?" said Jadeite.
"He went home," said Kunzite.
That's when four Tasers came flying at Jadeite, but he put up a barrier like he did in episode 3, and they all bounced off like rubber.
One came flying for Nephrite's neck, but he dodged it and grabbed the Taser by the cord.
He swung it, tossing a man into another man.
"Yes," said Kunzite. "This is getting boring. Their forces are too scattered with this tear gas, so they can't use organized attacks."
"Wait," said Kunzite.
He swung his arm powerfully, creating a gust of wind, and sweeping the tear gas away.
"Alright!" said Kunzite. "Come at me!"
Motoki's mom took this opportunity to charge right for him, but he snapped her neck.
She got back on her feet, and he had to snap it three more times until she was finally gone.
"Alright, no more tear gas!" yelled the SWAT team members. "It clearly doesn't work on them, and it hinders us more!"
They shot ten fire hoses at the Shitennou, but Kunzite put them in a bubble.
That's when some rebellious SWAT team members started throwing tear gas, and the cloud of tear gas returned, blinding everyone.
"NO, NO, NO!" yelled the new head of the SWAT team, as the last three heads went down in the combat.
That's when suddenly the strongest SWAT team member in the world, equipped with a 40th century mecha suit, putting him roughly even with Iron Mouse, finally made it to the scene.
"Sorry I'm late, boys," said the maniac.
Jadeite fired lightning, but the mecha suit put up a forcefield on its own.
"Uh oh," said Kunzite. "We stayed here too long."
They tried to flee, but they were soon captured without a fight.
Zoisite was somehow retrieved from the Negaverse, and they brought Kenji back with the Jaws of Life just so he could face his punishment.
They put Jadeite in an interrogation room.
"What is this?" said Jadeite.
"You're in big trouble for starting a violent protest," said an interrogator.
"Hey," said Jadeite. "It was not a violent protest. We got attacked. There was fighting on both sides."
"Yes," said the guy. "But only one side killed a person with a car."
"Hey, Kenji was not with us!" said Jadeite. "Just because there was one rowdy member, you can't blame the whole side! It could have easily been the antifa in a car! They were fighting the SWAT team with no gain, but in their defense the SWAT team attacked them too for some reason. I guess they couldn't distinguish the rioters so they decided to take everyone down."
The interrogator shook his head. "But which side had extremely offensive and crude costumes and posters?"
"Fighting on both sides!" repeated Jadeite.
Nephrite was being interrogated too.
"I assure you," said Nephrite. "There was fighting on both sides."
FIN
