"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"I-" began Queen Beryl.

That's when Zoisite appeared in such a frenzy he didn't even have time to have his petals teleport.

"Zoisite," said Beryl. "What is this? At least let me get one line in."

"Sorry," said Zoisite. "But I was getting whopped. I didn't even have time to teleport with petals cause of the beating I was the unfortunate victim of."

Nephrite and Kunzite entered, sensing a frenzy.

"What happened?" said Kunzite. "I would ask if Nephrite said getting the Silver Crystal was his job again, but he's right here."

"Yes," said Nephrite. "I just arrived. I sensed a frenzy, and came running, as something good always tends to happen after a frenzy."

"Ah," said Zoisite. "Well, let me tell you all what happened."

He walked up to Beryl's throne and stood there.

"What are you doing?" said Beryl.

"Get out," said Zoisite.

"Get out?! Of my throne!?" screamed Beryl. "I… I don't think I can. What I mean is, I don't want to! Should I put you in an eternal sleep just for asking for something so ridiculous?"

"Woah, hold on now there," said Kunzite.

"No," said Zoisite. "The only time I will be sleeping will be at night. I meant move, so I could tell my horror tale."

"Hmmmmmmm," said Beryl. "This is unconventional, but I suppose I'll allow it just once."

Beryl got off her throne, and was a little shaky.

Zoisite held out his hand so she could regain her balance, but her ego was too big.

She slapped his hand away but then fell on the ground.

After five minutes, she was able to sit in a cross-legged position.

All the Shitennou gathered around.

Kenji entered the circle, having ran there all the way from Tokyo when he sensed the frenzy, but not making it until just then.

"Things have gotten hectic lately," said Kenji.

Kenji had toast in his mouth as he always did when he ran, and he slurped it into his mouth and finished the toast in one bite.

"So there I was," said Zoisite. "At Hikawa Shrine, hoping to settle the score."

"Ah," said Kunzite. "Is it with that old man who almost defeated you?"

"Yes," said Zoisite. "I mean, no! He did not almost defeat me! And I wasn't there for the old man. I was there for the greater foe! The almighty crows, that got in the way with my first attempt to get the crystal. They sensed my presence from a mile away, and jumped me with so much hostility and raw fury that I had to flee. It was the only fight I ever lost, not counting the Moon Kingdom raid."

"What about that time you got hit with the Moon Wand?" asked Jadeite.

"Shut up," said Zoisite.

"Didn't you lose to Tuxedo Mask?" asked Nephrite.

"Never," said Zoisite. "I almost killed him once. Twice in fact. And then I did kill him once!"

Beryl narrowed her eyes. "I don't like the direction of this story."

"No," said Zoisite. "That wasn't part of the story. That was me replying to my hecklers. One time I was locked in a heated battle with a one-armed Chiba. I almost overpowered him, but some Sailor I'd never heard of flew in out of nowhere and interfered! That was obviously not my fault."

"Hmmm," said Beryl, eyes still narrow. "Why was Chiba one-armed?"

"Ah," said Zoisite. "Because I tricked him into thinking I was Sailor Moon despite the height difference, and a different colored outfit. What a fool. Then I leapt out and readied my crystal in my hand, and-"

But that's when Zoisite stopped halfway through the sentence, spotting Beryl's angry gaze.

"Ehehehe," he said. "I'm getting off track again. So just today, I arrived at the temple. And Grandpa came out, sensing my presence. I told him I was not here for him, and I told him to send his mighty crows. That's when Grandpa smiled, and nodded. He swung his arm, and to my horror, out from his sleeve came the two crows. I had no prep time and was not in my battle stance. One crow swooped for my legs faster than light, and threw me off balance, leaping out of the way. That's when the other one flanked me from the side. I threw a punch, square into its crow body, tossing it, but in that split second, the other crow got me in a full nelson. The first crow recovered, and started throwing pecks at my exposed torso."

"Alright, that's enough," said Beryl. "I already see where the story is going to end, and frankly I'm disappointed to call you a Shitennou."

"Hey," said Zoisite. "They are mighty beasts. Almost as mighty as my arch nemeses, the rats."

"Didn't you lose to rats before?" asked Jadeite.

"No," said Zoisite. "I in fact made amends with them and they helped me fight the Sailors."

"Good job for lasting as long as you did against the crows," complimented Kunzite. "That's not a small feat. I frankly would never dare fight the crows," he lied.

"Hey," said Kenji. "Didn't you lose to Motoki?"

"WHAT?!" said Zoisite.

"Yeah," said Kenji. "Didn't you charge with a punch, and he threw a beam, sweeping you off your feet and into the realm of unconsciousness?"

Zoisite narrowed his eyes. "Who told you that?"

"Hmm," said Kenji. "It was Motoki himself. I didn't even bring it up. I just started talking about that time I fried Shingle with a flame thrower, and he said, 'That reminds me of the time I killed Zoisite.'"

"Hmm," said Jadeite. "Not so funny is it, when you're just trying to have a conversation, and someone brings up a random person they killed."

"I didn't get killed!" yelled Zoisite. "Things happened exactly the opposite! I need to pay Motoki a visit later."

"Not some random person," interrupted Kenji. "My son. Shingle. Not random. He is flesh and blood… or he was flesh and blood anyway. Now he's six feet under."

"Wait," said Nephrite, trying to go back to the story. "Are you telling me you lost to two birds?"

"Not just any birds," said Zoisite. "In the manga, I'll have you know they were Sailors! I did my research, and Phobos and Deimos are the moons of Mars. Therefore, they should have the same power level as Sailor Moon."

"So they fought you in their manga Sailor forms?" asked Nephrite.

"Well, no," said Zoisite.

"Hey," said Jadeite. "Didn't you flee from Sailor Moon in that Ryo episode?"

"Alright, leave me alone," said Zoisite. "I didn't have time to fool around with little girls. I was chasing my target."

"You were blocked by Sailor Moon just standing there as Ami dragged your target away."

"Yet again," said Zoisite. "I just tried to tell a story, and it becomes a Zoisite attack session."

"Hey," said Kunzite. "I was defending you. Zoisite is the best," he added.

"Awwwwwwwwww," said Zoisite. "This is why you're the only person I like here. If it wasn't for you, I'd leave the Negaverse and probably take my life."

"Hey," said Jadeite. "For April Fool's, we should get two random crows, and sick them on Zoisite. Scare the life out of him."

"Well see," said Zoisite. "Then I wouldn't have prep time. So it wouldn't be a fair fight."

"All the prep time in the world couldn't save you from the crows," said Nephrite. "You're just not as good of a fighter as the crows, whereas like you said, I'm a superb fighter."

"Okay first of all," began Zoisite. "There are two crows. So it's a 2v1. Individually, they're not better fighters, but their teamwork is impeccable. If I were to face one crow, I'd easily win. Even if I fought both of them in a tag team, I could probably pull a win."

"Hmmm," said Nephrite. "It doesn't matter if you can beat them individually. They are a pair, and a duo you can never separate or defeat. Let's just accept that you're the worst Shitennou, and that you should be demoted to Youma, as you lost to crows."

"I agree," said Jadeite, wanting to move one rank higher.

"Jadeite," said Kenji. "You'd still be the lowest ranking Shitennou."

"That's okay," said Jadeite. "At least I'd only be third ranking. And you know what they say about third. First is the worst, second is the best, and third is the one with the hairy chest."

"I agree with that," shrugged Nephrite. "Second is the best. Kunzite sux."

"Zoisite sux," said Beryl. "Can't even beat crows."

"Let's get out of here," said Kunzite. "Obviously these people are just jealous of how long you lasted against those impossibly good beasts. It's time to go."

Zoisite stood up. "You guys are terrible," he said sadly.

That's when they heard suction cups, and Zoisite paused.

"Even I can defeat those crows!" said a squeaky voice.

Everyone turned to see none other than Diana the cat.

Kunzite readied a beam in his palm. "Ah," he said. "Time to do my favorite past time, brutalizing cats. My favorites are the baby ones."

"Halt, boy," squeaked Diana in a very high voice. "If you kill me right now, then I would have come back from the future for diddly doo!"

"Why are you here, small rat?" asked Kenji. "You remind me of my son. He's puny like you, and also the runt of the litter. And have I ever told anyone, he's a ratkid?"

"All the time," said Beryl. "When you were talking about Zoisite losing to rats, all I could picture was him surrounded by a mob of Shingles."

"Fun fact," said Kenji. "My son's birth name is actually Shingo. But I call him Shingle as an insult, and now I don't even remember his real name."

"But you just-" said Jadeite.

"Quiet everyone," said Zoisite. "This is between me and this antagonistic baby cat. Small cat, an adult cat might be able to defeat a regular bird. But the crows, in addition to their awesome power, are simply bigger than you, and they can fly. You are tiny and bound to the ground. There's no way you can win. You just came to terrorize me by over-exaggerating, but everyone here can see through your façade."

"Listen up, shitter!" squeaked Diana. "You are a grown man, or at least I think you are."

"Ooooh," said Kenji. "Burn."

"Yes," said Diana. "But the fact that you cannot defeat two regular crows is very shameful. I should be one of your kingdom's so-called Shitennou."

"Yes," said Beryl. "If she can defeat the crows, it will prove that she is better than Zoisite in every way."

"Big talk," said Zoisite. "From a little cat. But maybe before you suction cup around spouting nonsense, you should take a look at yourself. You are just a weak kitten, who was born recently. If your parents did not presumably reproduce in their human forms and had a whole litter of kittens rather than just one, you would starve to death as you could not fight the other kittens for your mother's milk."

"I'm not spouting nonsense," said Diana. "I'm just reinstating what you said. That you lost to the crows. Crows that even a blind kitten with her eyes still unopened from birth could defeat. Even though it's unclear if I could truly defeat the crows, I am, as you said, a small cat. You are a grown human with super powers. Great ones, in fact."

"Why thank you," said Zoisite. "But it sounds to me like you're going back on what you said. You marched in here with the claim that even you could defeat the crows. But I challenge you to back up this claim."

"OOoooooh," said Kenji and Nephrite.

"Well… I…" said Diana.

"Ooooh!" said Zoisite. "He's backing out. He's not a tiny cat, he's a tiny chicken! EEEEASY!"

"RRrrrrr," said Diana. "First of all, I'm a girl kitten. And second of all, I'm a girl kitten, not a girl chicken. And you're on, pal!"

"OOOOOOH! OOOOOOH! OOOH!" screamed Jadeite. "This is the most exciting thing that's happened since we raided the Moon!"

"Very well then," said Queen Beryl. "I will go ask my buddy Grandpa to borrow his crows. Then we will have a steel cage match to determine the winner."

"I'm feeling generous," said Zoisite. "I'll give you one week prep time. That's about a third of your life so far, and everyone knows kittens grow the most in their baby form. By the time the week's over, you might already be double your size, and not just a runt."

"Ha," scoffed Diana. "I only need two days prep time."

"No," said Zoisite. "I don't want to see such a slaughter. Take the week, you don't know what you're up against. And I suggest," said Zoisite. "To say any final prayers or goodbyes that you need to, as in a week it might be your last day on Earth."

"Ha!" squeaked Diana. She left.

"Mmmmm," said Kenji. "I'm glad we all came for this frenzy. It was worth the jog."

"Frenzies never fail to live up to our expectations," said Nephrite.

"Hmmm," said Kunzite. "Do you think the baby cat will really show?"

"Yes," said Zoisite. "She would not have come all the way here if she wasn't serious."

"I think she just came to make fun of Zoisite like everyone else here," said Jadeite. "She didn't come for battle."

"Yes," agreed Kunzite. "Her mouth is very big for such a small cat. I mean how does she have enough vocal power to produce sounds loud enough for us to hear all the way up at a human's ear level?"

"Hmmm," said Kenji. "I can't believe in a week we're going to sick two crows on a baby cat. But it's not the most illegal thing I've been to this week. Have I told you about the Shingle beatdown con? We throw him in a room and a group of people just beat him."

"Stop it," said Beryl. "You're going too far."

"I went too far the time I tied Shingle to my car by a long rope and started going 80 miles an hour. That was the day I went too far," concluded Kenji.

Everyone left.


"Gee whiz," said Diana as she walked down the Negaverse hall. "It will take just a week for me to make it down this hall. Things aren't looking good."

She walked another foot, and she was completely out of breath.

"I can't walk anymore," she said, laying down to die. "Oh well, at least I made that guy feel bad. A life worth living."

That's when a soda can was placed next to her.

"Hey, don't give up now," said Nephrite.

"Is this heaven?" said Diana.

"No," said Nephrite. "You're in front of my soda machine. I couldn't help but see you giving up on life. Take a soda."

"I can't reach the top," said Diana. "Let alone pry apart that mighty lid. So I'll just lick the condensation off the can."

"Now, now," said Nephrite.

He poured out the soda can in the hall, and Diana began lapping it up.

"Woooo!" she said, her whole body sizzling since she was tiny. "This is the stuff! I have enough sugar to last me forever!"

"Heh, you have good taste," said Nephrite. "I didn't know cats can drink soda."

"I don't think we can," said Diana. "But that's okay. My life is over in a week anyway."

"Hmm," said Nephrite. "Why don't you just call off the duel? You are a young cat, only at the beginning of your lifespan. You only have a long life ahead of you. Whether or not you resign, it won't replace the fact that Zoisite lost to crows."

"I can't do that," said Diana, putting a paw on her chest. "It is my resolve to see through things until the end. Like finding my mom and dad from the present, in the past."

"Odd," said Nephrite. "But if that's the case, I guess we have no choice. I will train you to be the best small kitten fighter, and the only one. When you win, Zoisite will be so ashamed he'll take his life. And maybe that will cause a chain that will cause Kunzite to take his life. We can only hope. Worst case scenario, Zoisite's very sad, which is good enough for me. So let's begin."


Nephrite swung open a creaky door.

"Ah, we haven't been here in a while."

Diana laid eyes on the never before seen Negaverse gym, AKA the Negagym.

Nephrite turned on the light.

"Eeww," he said. "A lot of cobwebs. Stay close to me, Diana. A spider might try to trap you in its cobweb and eat you."

"Right!" said Diana.

He dusted off a weight lifting machine.

"Hmm," he said, going for the smallest weight which was one pound. "I think this is too much. Do they have one ounce here?"

"One ounce?" asked Diana. "That's how much I weighed when I went to the vet!"

"Alright," said Nephrite. "We'll try weights later. Now let's work on your speed. As everyone knows, a true fighter is balanced."

"Right," said Diana.

They walked up to the treadmill, and Nephrite gave it a tap to make sure it was still working.

"We don't come here a lot," said Nephrite. "Since we don't need to. Alright, hop on little one."

Diana hopped on.

"Alright," said Nephrite. "I'm gonna set it to the lowest setting. If you run into any troubles, just yell something."

Nephrite turned it on to 0.1 mph.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Diana, getting flung across the room.

"Diana," sighed Nephrite. "Cats can run pretty fast, faster than humans. So I don't know why you're so sluggish."

"I have tiny legs!" yelled Diana.

"Mmm," said Nephrite.

He tried the other treadmill, that had a lowest speed of 0.01 miles per hour.

"Ah, this is easy!" said Diana, walking in a casual pace.

But as she started to get pulled back to the end of the treadmill, she had to pick up speed.

"Woah boy!" she said, going into a sprint. "This is the Lays factory all over again! Please don't drop any chips, sir!"

"Uh oh," said Nephrite, who was snacking on his chips.

When he threw a chip in his mouth, he accidentally dropped a crumb.

Diana saw it flying at her down the treadmill and tried to dodge, but it knocked her off her feet and she got pulled under the treadmill and went all the way around.

"YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUCH!" she yelled.

"Uh oh," said Nephrite.

He started trying to turn it off, but it was not the highest tech or in the best shape treadmill out there, and it took a good minute to power down.

By the time it was finally powered down, Diana was a crumpled heap.

Nephrite took out the jaws of life, but they were way too big.

He searched in the closet and finally found the baby jaws of life, that were part of a kids' playset. But they were too big.

After teleporting home and searching through his house, he finally found a jaws of life that were 1 in. by 1 in.

He pressed them down on Diana's tiny chest, and she was brought back to life.

"Wooo!" she said. "That was scary! In Heaven, the clouds were so fluffy that I was taken under and started to drown."

"Alright," said Nephrite. "Let's call it for tonight."


Six Days Left

Diana walked into the gym, and Nephrite was already there.

"Ah," said Nephrite. "There you are. Today is a new day. I decided to save speed for last, as some amateur fighters I knew back in the day put all their stats in their strength and defense. I think it might work in this case, as the crows rely solely on speed. If you could tank enough blows to wear them out, you might stand a chance."

"Sounds good!" said Diana, with sparkles in her eyes. "So what are we doing today, coach?"

"Ah," said Nephrite. "I found a box of Q-tips at home, and I think that they might work in place of a dumbbell. If they are too light, we can put marshmallows on them. And don't worry, I'm talking about the little ones."

"Right!" said Diana.

Nephrite laid a Q-tip on the floor, and gestured for her to try her paws.

"Wait," said Diana. "As a cat, my hands aren't good for picking things up."

"It's simple," said Nephrite. "Just use your claw to get it off the ground, and then just lift it like a person. I've seen your kind sit up like a person before, so it should be fine."

"Right!" said Diana.

She got ready to lift it.

"What's the wait?" said Nephrite.

"I don't think I have claws yet," said Diana.

Nephrite took her paw and examined it. "You got lil claws there," he said. "You just have to retract them."

"My mother hasn't taught me how to do that yet," said Diana.

"Can you see?" said Nephrite, getting a little annoyed.

"Yes!" said Diana. "My eyes just opened three days ago!"

"Alright," said Nephrite. "Well that's something. You can lift this Q-tip if that's the case."

Diana picked it up in her mouth, and put it in her paws.

She put all her divine strength into her paws, and did one lift.

"One!" said Nephrite.

"Alright," said Diana, struggling. "I'm going for two!"

Nephrite gave a thumb's up.

"URRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUGH!" screamed Diana.

"You can do it!" cheered Nephrite. "That's two! Let's shoot for three!"

Diana was in a hot sweat despite being a cat. After two minutes of just standing there, she did one final lift and passed out.

"Alright," said Nephrite. "That's progress. Tomorrow we'll try for four."

The door swung open, and Kenji and Jadeite walked in in fitness outfits. Jadeite was of course wearing his purple track suit from his gym plan, and glasses as well, and Kenji was wearing a tank top and a sweatband.

"Hey," said Jadeite. "I heard the gym was back open. Me and Kenji are gonna start doing crossfit again."

"Go away!" yelled Nephrite. "The gym is occupied."

"Ah, good," said Jadeite. "Now that I'm here, I didn't really want to work out anyway. Let's play Mario Tennis Aces, Kenj."

"No can do," said Kenji. "Not until my main Parakoopa comes out in September."

"Ugh," said Jadeite. "Those cruel Japanese people."

Nephrite was gonna say something, but didn't even bother.

He took Diana to his house since she was completely out, and laid a napkin over her as a blanket.

"Get some rest," said Nephrite. "Because tomorrow, we're gonna push your limits."


Five Days Left

Nephrite waited in the gym for a very long time.

Finally Diana made it.

"What took you so long?" demanded Nephrite. "It's already 6 PM!"

"Ah," said Diana. "Some cruel beast trapped me under a napkin, and it took me this long to fight my way out of the bind."

Nephrite shook his head sadly. "We really need to work on that Q-tip training."

"Alright," said Diana. "I'm ready to get started."

"Sorry," said Nephrite. "It's just too late now. We'll try again tomorrow. A day of rest is always good. You've been working hard."

"Thank you," said Diana. "It's all thanks to you."

"Yep," said Nephrite.

He headed to his soda machine.


Four Days Left

Diana walked in, and Nephrite was in a trainer costume.

He had a sweatband and everything, despite that he wasn't the one working out.

"Hmmm," he said. "Maybe I should join you today and work out myself. I've been getting a little rusty, and now I have the costume on."

"Sounds good!" said Diana.

Nephrite handed Diana a fresh new Q-tip, and he picked up a one billion pound barbell.

"OOOOH!" he said, lifting it. "That's the good stuff!"

They trained for two hours, and Diana lifted the Q-tip a total of 12 times, with long breaks in between.

"Alright," said Nephrite, pouring some of his water bottle in a little ketchup cup for Diana to drink out of.

Diana picked it up with her tiny paws and guzzled it down, all in one sip.

Her whole furry face was soaking wet.

"Hwwwooooo!" she said.

"Here you go," said Nephrite, tossing a towel.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" shrieked Diana.

Nephrite gasped, and then dove in and caught the towel before it crushed her to death.

"Sorry," he said.

He placed it down, and she rolled around in it.

She was all fuzzy.

"Alright," said Nephrite. "Today we're going to be working on our legs as well. Because you'll have trouble walking if your front paws are too strong but your back paws are lacking. I'm gonna use this device called the leg machine, where I push my legs against it and lift weights."

"Is that what it's called?" asked Diana.

"No," said Nephrite. "But I couldn't tell you what it's called. Now, since obviously you're too small for this, you're gonna just practice the motions with me. Okay?"

"Yes!" said Diana.

She laid down and was doing the leg pushes against the air as Nephrite did them against the weight machine.

"Hmm," he said, after some time. "That's pretty good! Let's call it for today. We had a good training session."


Three Days Left

The next day, Diana walked in and there was someone besides Nephrite.

"What is this?" squeaked Diana. "Did you get a new pupil?"

"Huh?" said Nephrite. "This nerd? No. He's just my nerd."

"Me and Maxfield go way back," explained Melvin. "I've known him longer than my girlfriend Siri."

"Siri," said Diana. "Isn't that the voice on the phone?"

"Shut up, you little rat!" said Melvin. "Don't make me kick you!"

"That will be the last action you do," warned Nephrite.

"Ah," said Melvin. "Maxfield, you're a good friend. I'm glad we can joke around like this. So why am I here?"

"Ah," said Nephrite. "You know I wouldn't call you unless it was necessary. As you are some kind of tech nerd, I figured you would be the perfect man to be in charge of the brains involved with working out."

"Nerds don't work out," explained Melvin. "Their brains do while they play Fortnite, but not their bodies."

"Fortnite's dead," said Diana.

"Watch it," warned Melvin. "One more of those and you get the kick. And besides, it just came out on the Switch. By definition, it cannot be dead."

"Undertale's on the Switch too," sneered Nephrite. "Anyway, we don't have time for this. You need to monitor her vitals and how she progresses during this workout session, so that we can maximize tomorrow's session."

That's when Melvin's glasses shined white, obscuring his eyes which you already couldn't see. He pushed his glasses to his face with one finger, and smirked.

"Ah," he said. "There is an app I can get on my Macbook Pro Deluxe Limited Edition, that can monitor this little cat's heartbeat, and maximize training by finding exactly how many of each exercise she should do. It will also keep track of her breathing, and calories burnt."

"Ahhhh," said Nephrite. "This is why I called you over. Technology is amazing, and you are my window to it."

Melvin blushed. "Why, you," he said.

"Hmmm," said Diana. "You seem close."

"Yeah right," said Nephrite. "As close as I am to Zoisite."

"I hate that guy," said Diana. "It's his fault I'm in this mess."

"Me too," said Nephrite. "That's why I'm training you. Now launch up that app of yours, Nerdy."

"You heard him, Siri-chan!" said Melvin. "Launch up that app!"

"Launching up Hentai Dojo Lite," replied Siri.

"HEEEeeEEEEY!" said Melvin. "Not that app! Only when we're alone, Siri, and not in public!"

"Right," said Siri. "Setting a reminder to only launch up Hentai Dojo Lite while alone."

Melvin giggled awkwardly as Nephrite raised an eyebrow.

"Launching Fitness Specialist 2000," said Siri.

"Good," said Melvin.

It launched up and Nephrite took a peak.

It had a diagram of Diana that matched her as she started doing stretches.

It showed her heart on there, and it also had many different numbers and gauges.

"Wow," said Nephrite. "How's that even work?"

"Heh," snorted Melvin. "Leave the tech to me."

"Alright," shrugged Nephrite. "I'm counting on you."

"I won't let you down," promised Melvin.

Nephrite started going through a training routine with Diana, and Melvin told him each time it was time to switch to a more relaxing or more rigorous exercise.

"It's calculating her exact limits as we speak," explained Melvin. "Just keep it up."

"You know," said Nephrite. "I think I've underestimated you."

"Aww shucks," said Melvin. "I'm glad me and Maxfield are finally getting along!"

"Alright, Diana," said Nephrite. "Now we're going to try jumping jacks. Get on your hind legs and clap your top paws above your head with each jump."

"Got it!" said Diana.

She put in great effort, and performed a jumping jack like a human.

"Keep at it," instructed Nephrite.

After 10 jacks, Diana was looking exhausted, and was in a hot sweat.

"Melvin," said Nephrite. "How's she doing? Is it time for a break?"

"Huh?" said Melvin, staring intently at his screen. "Uh, yeah, she's doing good."

"If you say so," said Nephrite. "But it looks like she's at her limit. I'm sure any second now it will tell her to take five minutes cooldown."

Nephrite waited.

He looked up at Melvin, but Melvin kept staring at the screen.

"Melvin," said Nephrite finally, after many more jacks, with Diana looking like she was dying.

"Oh," said Melvin. "Uh… yeah, that's enough."

Nephrite narrowed his eyes. "You are still looking at that app, right?"

"Of course," said Melvin. "Who do you take me for?"

Diana rested for 10 minutes.

"Alright," said Nephrite. "Is the timer up on her break?"

"Yes," said Melvin.

"You… weren't gonna tell me?" said Nephrite.

"It just ran up this second," insisted Melvin.

"Alright," said Nephrite. "Let's go do some push-ups to work on your back, and your front paw strength."

As Diana was doing push-ups, Nephrite kept his eyes on Melvin.

Melvin kept pressing his finger down on the screen, sliding it a bit, and then letting go.

"How's it going over there?" said Nephrite, getting a little suspicious.

He went to walk over, and saw Melvin clearly press the home button and click on something.

"Good," said Melvin. "She should keep going."

Nephrite sat back down, and watched Melvin start to do the same motions again like he was flicking something.

Suddenly Nephrite teleported behind him, and stood there for five minutes as Melvin played Angry Birds.

"Heh," whispered Melvin. "Got 'em!" he said when he got three stars.

"Whatcha doin?" said Nephrite.

"Oh shoot," said Melvin. "Uh… it says Diana can take a break now."

But on Melvin's screen was just the Angry Birds level complete screen.

"You're still on Angry Birds," said Nephrite.

Melvin spun around, and then leapt out of his seat.

"AAAAIIIYEEEEEEEEEE!" he screamed. "I can explain!"

"OK," said Nephrite. He waited.

Melvin tried to book it, but Nephrite grabbed him by the face, and threw him into a wall, and then through a wall.

"AIIIIIIIIIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Melvin as he flew off into the distance.

Nephrite shook his head. "Just when I was starting to think he wasn't so bad."

"Diana, how are we doing?" asked Nephrite.

He turned and saw Diana upside-down, like a dead bug.

"Yikes," said Nephrite.

He got a baby bottle and fed it to the small kitten.

Finally she was revived.

"Whyy….." she said. "y."

"Sorry," said Nephrite. "Blame that nerd. But if you were being pushed too hard you should have told me."

"Oooooooh the pain," said Diana. "My aching ankle."

"Alright," said Nephrite. "That's it for today."

He left.


Two Days Left

Diana pranced into the gym.

"Today's gonna be a tough day," said Nephrite. "I got lots of work-outs planned."

"Can we give up?" asked Diana. "My body is starting to get weaker than when I started."

"Nonsense," said Nephrite. "You just don't realize your true power. We will have a long rest the final day, so you will be in tip-top shape for the fight."

"Alright," said Diana.

"First," began Nephrite. "Since the treadmill is much too fast for you, I have improvised."

"Okay," said Diana cautiously.

Nephrite rolled out a roll of toilet paper.

"Hop on in the front, next to the cardboard tube but facing away from it," he said. "I'm going to slowly pull it backwards, and you're gonna run the other way."

"Sounds good," said Diana.

Nephrite started to pull the toilet paper, but Diana fell and he had to stop.

"Take your time," he said.

"Thanks," said Diana, getting back up.

She began to run again, putting in her all, and Nephrite began slowly raveling up the toilet paper.

He finally got to the end of the roll, and she made a huge leap, hopping off.

"Excellent work," said Nephrite. "Very good."

"Thank you!" said Diana.

Nephrite poured some water in a bowl, and gave it to her.

She lapped it up, and then laid on her back for ten minutes to sweat out the last work-out.

"Now for our next event," said Nephrite.

Nephrite reached in his pocket, and pulled out a peanut (shelled) that he had wrapped a string around.

He dangled the string in front of Diana so the peanut hung vertically.

"This is your punching bag," he explained. "Throw punches and jabs at it as hard as you can."

"Oh boy!" said Diana. "I'm gonna take out all my aggression of being a baby cat on this peanut!"

"That's the spirit," said Nephrite.

She began throwing punches and jabs, and then threw a leaping kick at the peanut on a string.

She threw a grandslam, but the force was so mighty it launched the peanut far into the air.

That's when the peanut swung back.

"Look out!" yelled Nephrite.

But Diana wasn't fast enough, and the peanut collided with her at max velocity, knocking her off her feet.

"Oof!" she said, dazed. "I'm dizzy! Help! There are stars circling my head like a cartoon!"

"No there's not," said Nephrite.

But when he leaned in closer, he saw that there were in fact stars floating around her.

"How about that," said Nephrite. "And just when I thought I knew everything about stars."

Diana wobbled around for a few minutes, and then took a short cat nap.

When she awoke, Nephrite was ready to teach her some last minute combat training.

"Alright," said Nephrite. "How much do you know about martial arts?"

"Hmm," said Diana. "I know the grand slam. But everyone knows that."

"Alright," said Nephrite. "Then I'm gonna teach you some great moves, that even a cat can use!"

He thought about it. "Hmm… you can't use the cyclone punch, as you don't have a fist, and that's a necessary part of the attack."

"Gosh darn it!" squeaked Diana. "I came here for diddly doo!"

"Calm down," said Nephrite. "Don't rage because there is one move you can never master. Use that rage and turn it into power!"

"YES!" screamed Diana.

But it sounded almost as loud as just a regular person talking, in a quiet tone.

"Aha!" said Nephrite, punching his palm. "Here's a classic that everyone should know! It's called the flyby! Or FB, for short."

"Ah, so that's what FB stands for!" exclaimed Diana. "I keep seeing that in my fanfictions, but I never knew what it meant. Now I do! So how do I do this FB?"

"Well," said Nephrite. "Like this!"

He threw a flyby at a punching bag nearby.

It was so mighty the punching bag was torn to shreds, and Diana had to leap out of the way of the falling bits and pieces, almost facing her demise.

"Phew," said Diana. "That was close."

There was a flash of light, and Nephrite landed several yards away from where he started.

"Did you catch that?" asked Nephrite.

"Kinda," said Diana, still dazed from the mighty blow.

"Hmm," said Nephrite. "Now you try."

Diana did her best attempt to throw a flyby, and did decent for a beginner. But she was lacking in speed and strength; basically everything.

"Hmmmmmmmm," said Nephrite. "Make sure to use your legs at the launch. You have four, so you should be good at this."

"I'll try," said Diana.

She threw another flyby, and this one was almost as good as a novice's flyby.

"Yes!" said Nephrite. "Perfect form! All you need is the strength! Now just picture that this peanut over here is Zoisite, a man who couldn't defeat crows. And throw a flyby."

Diana threw a flyby, and the peanut was torn to shreds.

The two pieces fell out of the shell, and Diana ate them, while screaming.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!" she shouted. "I am a master combatant!"

"Excellent!" said Nephrite.

"Now," said Diana. "Can you teach me the double flyby?"

"No," said Nephrite. "We don't have nearly enough time for such an expert technique, and you probably couldn't learn it anyway. Your stats and reserves of energy are far too low. Speaking of stats," said Nephrite. "Before the big fight, I need to teach you how to stat shift in the midst of battle."

"What is that?" asked Diana, tilting her head.

"Well," said Nephrite, getting kind of excited. "For example, if Zoisite sent three flower girls to attack me, and one fired an attack, I'd put all my stats in my defense right before the attack lands, so I'd only end up with a small scratch. Then if I were to go in for a counter attack, I'd shift all my stats to my speed, and then to my strength an instant before I threw the punch. Do you understand?"

"No," said Diana. "Not at all. Where are these stats?"

"Hidden," said Nephrite. "No one can actually see them. They lie deep inside of you. As a superb fighter, my stats rearrange almost automatically, and in most cases it's useful just to keep my stats balanced. But for a novice like you, you might get a huge boost from shifting them. You just have to be cautious about the drops in all the other stats when you move all your stats to one category. For example, don't move all your stats to strength to throw a punch if you think your opponent stands a chance of landing one on you, because your defense will be so low you'll get a pummeling from a weak hit. Stat shifting must only be used when it's absolutely necessary and you can predict your opponents' moves."

"I think I understand a bit better now," said Diana.

"Good," said Nephrite. "So first you're just gonna work on a simple trick. You're gonna suppress all your powers, and then spike them for one instant and throw a blow, and then quickly drop them again. Like Goku vs. Recoome."

"I don't know what that means," said Diana.

Nephrite shook his head. "If we had more time, I'd make you watch the whole Dragon Ball series, as there's a lot of good martial arts there."

"Sad," said Diana. "I only watch good shows like Craig of the Creek and Cartoon Network's new hit Summer Camp Island. And also Apple and Onion, AKA Regular Show and Gumball hybrid."

"I don't watch Cartoon Network anymore," said Nephrite. "Not after its downward dive."

"Your loss," said Diana. "All the shows now are equally good."

"Yeah, okay," said Nephrite. "I'm not gonna comment, as we all know you're wrong."

"You're wrong!" yelled Diana. "I don't need this stress before the big fight!"

"Right," said Nephrite. "Then let's get on with our training. So go ahead and lower all your stats now to zero."

Diana suddenly dropped dead.

"Huh?!" said Nephrite. "No! Not "zero" zero. More like one! No!"

He brought back the tiny jaws of life.

"Do I know the double flyby yet?" asked Diana.

"No!" said Nephrite. "You fool!"

"Alright," said Diana. "What about the reverse flyby!?"

"Not even close!" said Nephrite. "Never drop your power level to literal zero. People's power levels only drop to zero when they go to the other dimension. It's like absolute zero in the Kelvin scale."

"Hmmm," said Diana. "Did I learn the flyby grand slam hybrid yet? The flyslam?"

"What?!" said Nephrite. "No! All you did was die! And actually, I think it's the Grandby, thinking about it. Wait, no, that doesn't sound right at all," he said. "Let's stop wasting time. We have work to do."

After many hours of training, Diana felt as fit as a fiddle.

"I feel as fit as a fiddle," said Diana. "And you're downright spiffy yourself," she said to Nephrite.

"Gee," said Nephrite. "I don't know what to say."

That's when Zoisite entered, and Nephrite and Diana both gave mean glares.

"Sup?" said Zoisite. "I just wanted to see how the training was going."

"Go away," said Nephrite. "You're just here to sabotage."

"No," said Zoisite. "I've been thinking about it, and I kind of feel bad for killing a baby cat. I'm not Kunzite, although I did slap Luna but that was just a reflex. And frankly I had reason; she was going for my crystal. Anyway, I think you should just not show up. Everyone already expects that will happen anyway."

"Thanks for the advice," sneered Nephrite. "But unlike you, Diana has honor. She will not avoid a conflict she began."

"That's right!" said Diana. "And also unlike you, I won't get defeated by crows!"

Zoisite clenched his fist. "I will ruin you, Nephrite! And you, baby cat," he said, pointing.

"Goodbye," he said leaving, before he got any more burns.

"Ouch," he said once he left, rubbing his hand. "That was a mean burn."

Little did he know, he said it loud enough that it could be heard through the gym door.


One Day Left

Diana was sleeping in the gym room, since she was convinced her final day would be an easy one.

But that's when suddenly, she smelled a scent that all cats knew.

She opened one of her eyes, but before she could react, a blur tackled her.

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" she yelled. "What is this?!"

"Ah," said Nephrite. "For your final test before the big day, I brought in a baby mouse for you to fight, to see how much you've grown as a combatant. Since you are a cat, and you creatures are genetically designed to kill mice, this should be a breeze. And as your opponents tomorrow are two birds, two vicious ones at that, you should definitely be able to defeat this tiny mouse in a few blows."

"Right!" said Diana, getting in her battle stance.

She charged, and started shifting from right to left at top speeds.

"Perfect!" said Nephrite. "Excellent form!"

She leapt high into the air, and came pouncing right down for it like a true cat.

But the baby mouse was a fighter, and rolled out of the way, causing Diana to collide with the ground. She didn't suffer much recoil, as that was her special ability.

"Keep on it!" cheered Nephrite. "He is your natural prey!"

Diana came swinging her claws, and the mouse was fighting for its life, swinging its head and barely dodging the attacks.

"She's got it on the ropes," thought Nephrite.

But that's when the mouse went on the offensive, and narrowed its blood red eyes, letting out a vicious war cry.

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" it screeched.

It leapt at Diana, throwing her off guard, and taking her to the floor.

It threw a rat punch, due to its almost hand-like paw that could curl itself into a fist.

Diana fought back by throwing a headbutt, throwing the rat off its onslaught.

Diana did several leaps back to gain some ground, but the rat was a swift one, and already mastered shifting its stats.

It shifted all its stats to its speed, and quickly closed in.

Diana started choking under the pressure, and threw her whole body back-first.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Nephrite. "You fool! Everyone knows that throwing yourself, let alone throwing yourself back-first, is an instant defeat, as if it misses, the recoil along with the long recovery leaves you so vulnerable that there's basically no bouncing back!"

Then he thought to himself with glee, "No way! It looks like she's gonna land it though!"

She was heading right for the mouse, and it had no time to get out of the way.

"Got it!" yelled Diana.

But she went right through the mouse somehow, and landed on her back.

As it turned out, she had thrown herself merely at an afterimage.

"NOOOOOO!" yelled Nephrite. "Shoot! I forgot to teach her about afterimages! But that's a very important thing! You need to sense your opponent with your mind, not with your eyes!"

Nephrite frowned. "I'm a failure of a teacher," he thought. "But come on, Diana! Cats' senses are much greater than humans'! You should have been able to smell the mouse's location, and hear it as well, and see it as well, and sense it as well with your whiskers! You should have known that was not really the mouse."

That's when the mouse appeared above Diana's exposed torso, as she was sprawled on the ground.

"Ohhhh nooooo," said Nephrite, turning his head away sadly.

The mouse threw many blows, and Diana did as well, but she was grounded and immobile, and hers couldn't land.

After some flailing, she finally recovered, and was back on her feet.

She got in her battle stance, and the mouse, now knowing that she was a complete amateur and it could win, came closing in, ready to finish her off.

Diana, quickly forgetting all her training, dropped all her stats to nearly nothing.

The mouse tackled her, inflicting 20 times more damage than it would have if her stats were at their regular values.

"What are you doing?!" screamed Nephrite. "You didn't do that at the right time or place! When you're on the defensive, you should never drop stats to zero! You should have just raised your defense, fool!"

But Diana wasn't listening, as she was fighting for her life and now pinned to the ground. She had completely shut out all of Nephrite's advice long ago, and was now in a state of peril.

"Tap-out! Tap-out!" she squeaked, banging her paw on the ground.

"No tap-out!" yelled Nephrite. "You gotta win this! There's no cat on this planet that can't defeat a mouse!"

But Diana was done.

She gave up, and prepared for the great beyond.

Nephrite picked up the mouse.

"That's enough," he said.

Diana was panting like she just saw her life flash before her eyes, and in fact she did.

"Alright," said Nephrite. "This will never do. These crows are 1,000,000 times stronger than that baby mouse. You cannot win this fight."

Diana frowned. "Is it over?" she said sadly.

"Yes!" said Nephrite. "You are no fighter! The best you could ever be is a support, who doesn't really contribute to the fight at all! And that's if you trained 50 more years!"

"I don't have 50 more years!" said Diana. "We cats don't live that long! And also the fight's tomorrow!"

"Oh yeah," said Nephrite. "Shoot! We gotta come up with a plan."

"I got a good plan," said Diana. "Let's not show."

"Good idea," said Nephrite. "That's the first smart thing I've heard this week."

"It's a shame though," said Diana. "All that training, and it turns out I actually am weaker than Zoisite."

"Well, we knew that," said Nephrite. "Zoisite is a martial artist, I think. Or at least he has Negapowers, boosting his senses and abilities enough to buck horns with the Sailors. If it wasn't for his Negapowers, he'd probably be weaker than you though."

Then Nephrite paused, and a smile crept across his face.

"Diana," he said. "It's not over yet!"

"Are we gonna cheat?" asked Diana.

"Yes," said Nephrite. "Well, not really. We're just evening the playing fields."

Nephrite put Diana in his palm, and walked down to his great ruler.

He knocked on the door.

"URRWUUUUUUUUUUUGH!" yelled Metalia.

"Hmm," said Nephrite. "I'll take that as a 'Come in.'"

Nephrite entered Metalia's pod room, and was swept over by a wave of energy.

Diana's hair started standing on end, and she became all fluffed up. "What is this?" she said.

"What is this?" said Metalia.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" screamed Diana. "That mutant abomination can talk?!"

"Huh?!" said Metalia. "You dare come in my chambers and insult me?!"

"Don't look at me," said Nephrite. "It's this little cat."

"Oh," said Metalia, narrowing her eye. "I didn't notice that you had someone with you since it was so tiny. Looks like I have to kill it. I think even in this depleted state I could kill that lil thing. I can just shoot out my shadowy hands, or maybe change the atmosphere in the room enough that her tiny lungs give out."

"We don't have time for that," said Nephrite. "That's a fight for another day. I'm here to settle a different fight."

"Hmmmm," said Metalia. "What do you want?"

"Well," said Nephrite. "I know we've never had a real conversation, oh great ruler, but I'm here to ask for a favor. After all, you're only able to speak because of the energy I obtained single-handedly."

"Rrrr," said Metalia. "Beryl told me that she got that energy."

"Well," said Nephrite. "She meant indirectly, by sending me to go get some."

"Ah," said Metalia. "I suppose I do owe you one. So what do you want? Just remember, I can't do many things. But if someone's greatly injured and needs to be hypnotized, I can help you. Maybe even a second time."

"No," said Nephrite. "Not today. I need you to buff this baby cat with some Negapowers."

"Why?" said Metalia. "She might not even survive the power boost."

"Pls," said Nephrite. "We have to. It's the only way."

"Hmmmm," said Metalia. "She was pretty rude."

"Please," said Nephrite. "It's to disgrace Zoisite."

"Who's that?" said Metalia.

"The Negaverse's greatest enemy," explained Nephrite.

"Ah," said Metalia. "In that case, I'll help you this once. Hold the baby cat out in your hands; I will release some dark energy into it."

"Is this gonna hurt?" asked Diana.

"Probably not," said Nephrite.

That's when Metalia shot a wave of energy.

"AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Diana screamed.


The Big Day

It was the big day, and everyone was gathered, placing their bets.

"$20 on the crows," said Jadeite.

Zoisite took the dollars, not keeping track of who bet what.

"$100 on the crows," said Kunzite.

"Thank you, thank you," said Zoisite.

Kenji walked up and gave him a piece of toast.

"All of that on that Diana," said Kenji. "If she wins, I get a loaf of bread."

"Sure," said Zoisite. "But that's not gonna happen."

There was a steel cage sitting in Beryl's throne room, and there were several rows of bleachers.

Everyone who was anyone was there.

Beryl was sitting on her throne, and had her crystal ball set up to display the fight on several large screens, since it was taking place with such tiny creatures.

"This is gonna be good!" said Gamer Joe.

"Wait," said Haruna. "What are we watching?"

"Ah," said Melvin, who was sitting next to Haruna. "Just this baby kitten fight two crows!"

"That's terrible!" said Haruna. "$50 on the cat."

"I'd advise against that," said Melvin. "This is no regular cat. It's a particularly weak one. And these crows are no regular crows."

"Wait," said Haruna. "Can I change my bet then?"

"No," said Zoisite, taking the money with a vacuum cleaner.

Nephrite entered with a coach jacket.

"Where's the baby cat?" asked Zoisite.

"Don't worry," said Nephrite. "She'll come."

"Just give it up," said Zoisite. "She's definitely going to be a no-show. She values her tiny life that she just recently started. It will be a shame though, as if there's no fight I have to keep all the betting money. Oh, so horrible."

"I'm getting impatient," said Grandpa, who had his two crows in a cage. "Phobos and Deimos are ready for battle."

"Ka-kaw!" said Phobos.

"Just a bit longer," said Nephrite, looking confident.

"Hmm," said Zoisite. "You haven't looked this confident in a while. Maybe I underestimated your skills as a trainer. Unlikely, though."

All the spectators took their seats after placing bets.

"This is gonna be good!" said Jadeite.

"Popcorn?" asked Kunzite.

"Sure," said Jed.

"$10," said Kunzite.

"I only have five left," said Jed. "Don't you have a smaller size?"

"Ha," said Kunzite. "Good one. Who wants popcorn?!" he yelled, starting his own little business alongside Zoisite's betting business.

Several people raised their hands, and gave him money.

"Hey," said Kunzite. "Even if this fight doesn't happen, we still made a fortune. And even if Diana wins by the very small off-chance, we still make a lot of money."

It was 10 minutes later, and Diana still hadn't shown up.

"Alright," said Zoisite. "That's it. She's a no-show. Just accept it, Nephrite. You lost!"

"Oh," said Nephrite. "Then who's that over there?"

Zoisite narrowed his eyes, and took out binoculars.

"Ah, how about that," said Zoisite.

"Yes," said Nephrite. "She was actually here the whole time. You just couldn't spot her from over here."

"Mmm," said Zoisite. "I guess I underestimated her resolve. It's no matter."

Zoisite walked up to Diana.

"Look," said Zoisite. "You don't have to do this, young cat. I already made a ton of money, so we'll call it even."

"Nope," said Diana. "This fight is happening, and you're gonna lose."

"Heh heh," said Zoisite. "Your death wish."

He knelt down and extended his hand. "Here's to a good clean fight."

Diana swatted his hand away.

"OOOOoOOOOOOH!" yelled the crowd.

Zoisite clenched his fist, starting to get mad. "You're gonna perish!" he yelled. "Send her in the cage!"

Diana entered the cage and it locked shut.

Grandpa opened up his bird cage, and they flew into the big cage.

"Good luck," said Grandpa, taking his seat.

"Hey," said Kunzite, who was now seated next to Jadeite and Kenji. "Aren't you getting some odd vibes from that small cat? Almost like she has Negaverse energy."

"You're trippin'," said Jadeite. "This whole place is filled by Negaverse energy. Even a strong Negavibe has rubbed off on Kenji just from being around here so often. In fact," said Jadeite. "Even weak Zoisite is outputting a large amount."

"Not weak," said Kunzite.

"He lost to crows," explained Jadeite.

"Shut up," said Kunzite. "I bet you don't wanna go in that steel cage."

"Heavens no," said Jadeite. "That poor cat's a goner. She will be missed."

"Alright!" said Nephrite. "Remember your training!"

"I can't forget it if I wanted to!" replied Diana.

"You forgot it yesterday," said Nephrite.

Zoisite giggled. "It was nice knowing you, Diana. You're the bravest tiny kitten I've ever met, and I say that honestly."

Diana spat on the ground. "Shitter."

Zoisite shrugged. "I can't get mad at everything," he said. "Eventually I have to get used to insults."

Beryl stood up. "Combatants, are you ready?!" she yelled.

"Heck yeah!" yelled Diana.

The crows cawed.

"Alright!" said Beryl. "Then let this battle commence!"

She ran up and slammed a giant gong, initiating the fight.

"Have at you!" yelled Diana.

The crows turned to each other and nodded.

They soared right for her, but an inch before hitting her they swooped up, and then started flying circles around her.

That's when suddenly, they both came flying at Diana from both sides.

"She's a goner," said Jadeite, gobbling a handful of one of Kunzite's popcorn boxes he had left over.

Some of the people in the audience with morals covered their eyes, whereas Melvin and Gamer Joe leapt to their feet.

"Let there be bloodshed!" screamed Joe.

That's when, right before the crows landed the finishing blow, the background changed to a crazy one, and time slowed down.

Diana slid out of the way in a single motion, and both crows zipped past her, and flew up in the air.

"Huh!?" said Kunzite.

"What?!" said Zoisite. "Beginners' luck! Get 'em Phobos!" yelled Zoisite.

"Hmm," thought Zoisite. "What irony. That I'd be commanding my enemies. But you know what they say. An enemy of an enemy is also an enemy."

The crows zipped down for another attack, but that's when Diana leapt in the air and zipped past them.

Right after she passed them, she threw a double kick with her hind legs, tossing both crows to the ground, where they slammed into it sending rocks flying.

The crowd gasped, as Diana landed on the ground unscathed.

"Hey!" yelled Zoisite. "Nephrite's cheating! He's controlling her or something!"

"She has Negaenergy!" yelled Kunzite. "Like a Youma! I knew it! CHEEEEAATTER!"

The crowd started booing.

"Wrong!" yelled Nephrite.

"I want my money back!" yelled Melvin.

"Sorry," said Zoisite. "No refunds. It was on your receipt. But anyway, Nephrite, stop cheating! Is this a forfeit?!"

"No," said Nephrite. "Let me explain."

"I'll explain," said Beryl. "Time out!" she yelled.

The crows paused in mid-air, like a still-frame, and Diana reluctantly un-bared her fangs.

"You see," said Beryl. "Nephrite is not controlling her. I would sense Nephrite's energy if that were the case. Instead, she was given energy by our Great Ruler. But I think this is fair, as Diana's claim was, 'Even I could defeat the crows.' Which means, she would have to share all the same circumstances as Zoisite's battle, such as a Negapower boost.

Zoisite was biting his thumb, knowing that he might actually lose.

"It's not fair!" he said. "I'm stronger than a cat! A kitten! Let me in the cage for a rematch!"

"Not to worry," said Grandpa. "The crows are used to dealing with evil spirits. They saved my daughter Rei's life a few times before, like when that blond man started taking people in buses, and the crows came in and saved her from a Youma."

"Hmm," said Zoisite. "They are mighty crows. Let's see how this plays out."

The battle resumed, and Diana leapt into the air, creating 20 afterimages.

"YEEHAW!" yelled Nephrite. "You mastered it! You mastered martial arts!"

One of Diana's afterimages suddenly kicked a crow, slamming it into one of the bars of the cage.

The other crow tackled her out of the air, and got her in its talons, piledriving her into the ground.

She leapt back with a flip, and suddenly threw a flyby, a technique she learned just the day before.

"Can you believe it?!" said Nephrite. "I taught her that one just yesterday! And she's throwing it flawlessly!"

Diana hit the crow at max velocity, inflicting much damage.

That's when, right before everyone's eyes, she threw a double flyby, and then a triple. And then, to everyone's absolute disbelief, an ultra flyby.

Zoisite fell to his knees in defeat. "I can't even throw a triple," he said sadly.

"Crows!" yelled Grandpa. "Rearrange your formation!"

The crows met back up, and did a loop through the air, picking up speed.

That's when they threw the Pokémon move Bravebird, but right before it landed, Diana teleported with a crazy animation.

"Where's she go?!" yelled Zoisite, starting to get frantic.

"Up there!" pointed Jadeite.

Everyone tilted their heads up to see Diana floating at the roof of the cage.

She swung her claw, using some kind of sonic claw attack, and one of the birds took the hit, protecting the other bird.

"EXCELLENT!" yelled Nephrite. "EXCELLENT!"

That's when Diana put all her stats in her speed like a true expert, and started darting across the cage walls at max speed.

She appeared behind the crows, and threw a mighty chomp.

But the crows were no amateurs, and dodged the attack.

She kept on them in a hot pursuit, throwing many claws and fangs.

That's when she picked out one of the crows, Phobos, and did a mighty leap off the ground, hoping to take it down permanently with an ultra pounce.

The crow did a salute, knowing it was over.

Right before Phobos died, Deimos threw a flyby, making Diana retreat.

Phobos let out a sigh of relief, and regained its composure.

"Their teamwork is too mighty, and it's only getting better," thought Diana. "I have to finish this quickly.

She charged for the birds, but they took off flying at top speeds.

They were zipping around the cage doing elaborate flight patterns, but Diana was moving all around so they couldn't hone in.

That's when, due to their teamwork, Diana found herself in a corner, and both crows came flying in with their talons first. They both let out a battle caw, but at the last second, Diana managed to escape.

She landed on the ground behind them, and slid to a stop.

But the crows shot around, and charged after her, throwing many pecks like a barrage of bullets.

Diana was doing some fancy footwork though, and dodging some pecks.

She threw a headbutt, tossing one, but the second one threw its own headbutt, tossing her.

Diana landed on her feet like a typical cat, and leapt into the air, getting a crow by its wing in her mouth, taking it to the ground.

It threw a mighty peck to her forehead, and to dodge the fatal blow she leapt away, releasing it.

"This was totally worth the $30 for admission," said Melvin, recording.

"Hey!" said Zoisite. "You can't do that!"

He threw a crystal, destroying Melvin's phone.

"Phew," said Melvin. "Good thing Siri is connected to both my Macbook Pro and all my phones, and my house. So I can never truly lose her. She's like the Iron Man suit.

That's when Deimos swung its talon, and suddenly in it was a voodoo magic slip.

"YES!" yelled Zoisite. "YES! YES! Send her mind into chaos!"

"Oooh," said Jadeite. "That's a strong attack."

"Run!" yelled Nephrite. "Don't let it hit you!"

The crow started chanting the sacred words, but not really because they have beaks and can't speak words.

The other crow flew in and tried to get Diana in a full nelson, but Diana saw it coming from behind her a mile away and threw a donkey kick, tossing it.

That's when she waited for the crow with the slip to come right within range, and bodyslammed it, inflicting much damage.

It let out a screech, and was tossed, and the slip dropped to the ground.

Diana leapt over it, and approached the crippled crow triumphantly.

She held her claw over her head.

"This is it!" she said in a high voice. "This is what all cats do, so don't take it personally, kid!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Zoisite, putting his hands over his face.

"HA HA HA!" laughed Nephrite hardily, as he finally won against that fiend Zoisite. "HO HO HO HO HO!"

But right before Diana threw the finishing blow, the second crow appeared behind her with the slip in its mouth, as it seemed to have retrieved it, and placed it on Diana. She let out a screech and started to smoke.

"AAAAAAAAIIIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she yelled.

She quickly tore the strip to shreds, but a chunk of her reserves were depleted.

"No matter," she said. "I still have enough energy to win."

She started throwing blows, and the crows threw their own blows.

They had a long exchange of blows.

Suddenly, the crows delivered more blows than Diana could receive, and she was torn to shreds.

"WHAT?!" said Nephrite. "NOOOO! How did that happen so suddenly?! She was doing so good!"

"She got cocky," explained Grandpa. "It was over when in the midst of exchanging blows, I saw that for a split second she threw herself, like a cocky creature who suddenly acquired more power than they could understand. That was the nail in the coffin, because although she was very mighty, even mightier than the crows in fact, no creature on this earth can throw themselves and miss, and still win a fight."

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!" screamed Zoisite. "I won! Haha!"

"Give us our money," said the crowd.

"No refunds!" said Zoisite.

"It's not a refund!" shouted Joe. "It's just the expectation that when one makes a gamble, they win money back!"

"I don't wanna hear it," said Zoisite. "And besides, no one even bet against the crows! So you wouldn't get any money anyway. So buzz off, all of you!"

The crowd left in a huff, except for the Negaverse residents and Kenji, who had his own home but frankly spent more time in the Negaverse.

"Well that's that," said Kenji. "What a shame."

"Haha," said Zoisite. "I beat Nephrite!"

"So what?" said Nephrite. "You still got beat by crows. All you have proven today is that you are the same level as a baby cat, and actually, the baby cat lasted longer than you did."

Zoisite opened his mouth. He shut it, but then reopened it. "Shut up," he said finally. "I beat you. Haha."

Zoisite left before he could get roasted, and Kunzite followed him.

"Good fight," said Jadeite. "Very enjoyable to watch."

"Yes," said Nephrite. "It's just too bad that my one pupil perished. I hope one day I can get a new pupil, who can actually absorb my training like a sponge rather than apparently throwing themselves after I made very clear why that doesn't work. It was lesson number one in fact, and I reassured her again the day before the fight."

Melvin stepped forward, and puffed his chest.

"I'll be your pupil, Maxfield," he said.

"Stop calling me that!" said Nephrite. "That's my human name! When I'm wearing these clothes, I'm Nephrite, got it?"

"Whatever you say, Maxfield," said Melvin.

"Why I oughtta-" said Nephrite.

That's when somehow they were surrounded by police, and everyone put their hands up.

Well, except for Grandpa, who suddenly was swapped out with a log.

"What is this?!" yelled Beryl. "Is this for tax fraud again?! I told you, I'm just confused!"

"No," said the police. "We received several reports of some kind of illegal dog fighting."

"No dog fighting," said Nephrite. "Just a kitten versus two birds."

The police shook their heads, and readied their handcuffs.

"It's all or nothing!" yelled Jadeite, firing lightning.

Nephrite threw himself back-first, but unlike an amateur like Diana, his blow actually landed. He would not have done it if there was any chance it wouldn't, and it inflicted much damage, so it was well worth it.

Readying a crystal in her hand, Beryl paused for a moment.

"You know, Nephrite," she said. "Because Diana became infused with Metalia's energy, you can revive her probably."

"Sadly I can't," said Nephrite. "She was torn to shreds, and even Metalia can't fix that. We need a Moon Wand, but sadly that's like a bible to a vampire."

"Sad," said Jadeite, throwing another bolt.

Kenji threw a leaping kick, taking out a policeman, but ten more took its place and took him to the ground.

FIN