"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Hmm," said Beryl. "I'll hear you out just this once."

"Ah!" said Jadeite. "The humans have this thing called energy. If we can take enough of it, we can revive our Great Ruler!"

"I know that," said Beryl. "What's your sources? How are you going to get the energy from these humans?"

"Huh?" said Jadeite. "Oh. I'm just gonna run up and take it, of course. Eeeeasy. No elaborate schemes today."

"Good," said Beryl. "I'm glad you've finally figured out the flaw in your original plans, and have improved upon them. Go out there and make us proud."

"Right!" said Jadeite.

He took off.

He didn't even bother with a disguise today, because no regular human would recognize a Shitennou, although his uniform would make him stand out.

"This is wild," thought Jadeite. "Look at me, just in my Shitennou uniform in public. This must be what it's like to go to a nudist beach for the first time! Ah, I should go to one of those one day!"

Jadeite spotted a large crowd of humans.

"Ah, here we go!" he said, rubbing his hands together. "It's time for lift-off!"

Suddenly Jadeite's life left him, and he fell to the ground.

"Oh no!" cried a little kid. "I think that man is dead!"

And he was.

The medics tried to revive him, but his life was already miles away.

His life had left him like when two people have a divorce, and someone leaves with the kids. His life was the one who left with the kids, and his body was the one left behind to suffer.


"Jadeite!" yelled Beryl. "Report!"

No one reported, as Jadeite's life had left him.

"JADEEEIIITE!" screamed Beryl.

"He's gone," said Nephrite, strolling in. "Can I have his job?"

"Yes," said Beryl. "But why is he gone?"

"Hey wait a second!" said Zoisite. "I'm next! Send me up on the hot seat, Big B!"

"What'd you call me?" said Beryl. "I'm Queen Beryl, not Big B. This is the very reason I gave the job to Nephrite. He shows respect."

"Shut up," said Nephrite. "The universe was not created in a day. I'm doing things my own way."

"Grrrrrrr," said Beryl. "He's so arrogant! I wish I could take the job away from him, but sadly it's in his hands now. The opening left me."

"No!" said Zoisite. "Just give it to me!"

"Sorry," said Beryl. "My hands are tied."

"This isn't fair!" said Zoisite, biting his thumb.

"Yeah, life's not fair," said Beryl, still a little salty. "Sometimes things are first-come, first-serve, and Nephrite was right there after Jadeite died. If you wanted the job so much you should have camped it."

"I didn't know the spot was opening soon!" complained Zoisite.

"Yes you did," said Beryl. "Don't you remember my speech to Jadeite in the spotlights?"

"I wasn't there for that," said Zoisite.

"Exactly," said Beryl. "You're a slacker. You should have camped. That's how Jadeite got his spot for the first 13 episodes."

Zoisite stormed off.


Zoisite was in his and Kunzite's castle.

He was already sobbing, despite only leaving two seconds ago.

"It all fell apart!" cried Zoisite.

"There, there," said Kunzite, petting him like a cat as he was on his lap. "Tell me all about it."

"Neph took the job," said Zoisite. "I didn't camp. I knew I should have camped, but you told me the impatient always lose."

"Yes," said Kunzite. "By that remark, I was suggesting you should camp."

"Oh," said Zoisite. "Well now I'm mad."

"How did Nephrite get the job anyway?" said Kunzite. "I thought that Jadeite guy had it."

"Sadly he's gone," said Zoisite.

"Really?" said Kunzite. "How?"

"Hmm," said Zoisite. "I don't know. No one knows. It's believed that his life just left him, like some kind of human."

"That's ridiculous," said Kunzite. "We're the Great Four. Our lives don't just leave us."

That's when Nephrite walked in, invading their castle.

"What is this?!" said Zoisite, leaping out of his position.

"Hey," said Nephrite. "Were you just on his lap, like a cat?"

Kunzite started glowing, ready to shoot an attack at the invader.

"You have a lot of nerve," said Kunzite. "Coming into my home turf. I wonder, will your attacks still damage me in my own castle?"

"You're lucky," said Nephrite. "Because I'm not here for a fight. I'm here because I have an important mission we need to go on."

"Go with Kenji," said Zoisite. "You wanted that job so much, now you got it."

"I can't do that," said Nephrite. "Kenji's annoying. All he talks about it toast and his son Shingle. It gets very repetitive. That's why I'm here to recruit you two."

"What's the mission?" demanded Kunzite.

"Ah," said Nephrite. "So, according to this news clipping, Jadeite's life did in fact leave him out of the blue. It was unexplained why, but all we know is that it left on its own. We must go track down his life and bring it back to him. Reunite his being with his life, so to speak."

"Mmmm," said Zoisite. "Why do you want to revive Jadeite?"

"Because," said Nephrite. "I hate this job. But I hate you more, so that's why I had to take it. Don't you understand? But if Jadeite gets it back, we all win."

"Hmm," said Kunzite. "We'll think about it."


Nephrite's phone rang.

"Hello, this is Nephrite speaking," he answered.

"Nephrite," said Kunzite. "This is Kunzite. We thought about it, and we'll take you up on that."

"Good," said Nephrite. "I'm glad you came to your senses. Where are you?"

"Outside," said Kunzite.

Nephrite looked out his window, and Kunzite and Zoisite were standing there.

"Oh," said Nephrite. "Let me get dressed. I'll be out in ten."

After ten, Nephrite walked outside.

"Did Kenji follow you?" he asked.

"No," said Zoisite. "We slipped out past him."

"Good," said Nephrite. "Very good. Let's roll."

Nephrite summoned his car to where they were standing, and it came rolling up from around the bend.

Nephrite hopped in the driver's seat, and Kunzite and Zoisite got in the back.

"Let's do this," said Nephrite, speeding off at 500 miles an hour.

"Hmm," said Zoisite, as they sped down the highway at inhuman speeds. "If I were Jadeite's life, where would I be?"

"Hmm," said Kunzite. "Jadeite's life seems to be leaving him a lot lately. He needs to hold that thing down, and teach it some manners."


Kenji sat in the Negalounge. It was empty.

He was playing Spongebob's Battle for Bikini Bottom, AKA the notoriously best Spongebob game.

He pressed pause.

"I need some more toast," he said.

But that's when suddenly he felt like someone was wrong, and it wasn't that he didn't kill Shingle in a long enough time because he had just killed him that morning.

"Hmm," he said. "Something's wrong."

He quickly took out his flip phone, and pulled out his trackers.

He saw that Shingle was still at the house, because that's where he chained him.

Kenji nodded, and looked at the Shitennou trackers.

Jadeite's was in a graveyard because he was gone, and Kunzite and Zoisite still appeared to be in the Negaverse.

"Hmm," said Kenji. "I think it's time to pay a visit to young Zoisite. For some reason I have this strange feeling that they slipped past me somehow; I don't know how though. I would never let the Shitennou go on an adventure without me. It's my resolve to go on every single one of their adventures, just to ruin them with my Shingle stories that everyone tells me they don't want to hear, but they must hear anyway. As it's my resolve."

Kenji entered their castle, and headed up a long spiral staircase.

He looked under the covers, and the two trackers were sitting there beeping.

"What?!" screamed Kenji.

He narrowed his eyes.

"How did they find out about the trackers? This is not good!"

Kenji drove his fist into the wall, destroying it.

He grabbed their dresser, and pushed it to the ground, causing all the clothes to fall out. He then stomped it.

Once he cooled down, he pulled back out his flip phone.

"If I can call them and they answer, I can try to hack their phones and trace their GPS."

Kenji rang Kunzite's number.

Kunzite went to answer it, but Zoisite threw his phone out the window.

"Hey!" said Kunzite. "Why'd you do that?"

"Because," said Zoisite. "Everyone who would call you is right here. Except for Beryl, but you don't need to talk to her anyway. It's obviously Kenji, enraged because he realizes we ditched him."

Zoisite turned to Nephrite. "Nephrite, did you take off your tracker?"

"Tracker?" said Nephrite. "What are you talking about?"

"Uh oh," said Zoisite.

They turned around, and Kenji's car was hot on their tail.

"Uh oh," repeated Zoisite.

That's when Nephrite finally found the tracker.

"What the hell?" he said. "How long has he had that thing on me?"

He took it off and destroyed it in his palm.

"FLOOR IT!" yelled Kunzite.

Nephrite slammed on the gas, and his racecar was no match for Kenji's ordinary man's car.

Kenji's car slid up right next to them, and Kenji rolled down his window.

"Ho ho ho," he said in a very angry tone. "Going on a little adventure, are we?"

"It's not what you think," said Zoisite.

"It sure looks like it," said Kenji. "I see you left your trackers at home."

"We uh… forgot them!" said Kunzite.

That's when Nephrite suddenly threw his car into Kenji's car, sending Kenji spiraling off a cliff.

"That won't hold him for long," said Nephrite. "Let's quickly find Jadeite's life."


The Shitennou hopped out of the car.

"This is Jadeite's favorite McBeryl's," said Nephrite. "His life must be here, trying to get a final meal before departing."

They entered the McBeryl's, and searched the bathrooms.

Kunzite walked into the girl's bathroom, and checked all the stalls.

Many rolls of toilet paper were thrown at him like projectiles, but Kunzite just let them bounce off his solid skin.

"Calm yourselves," said Kunzite. "I'm just looking for a friend's life. Anyone see a man's life in here?"

Kunzite left after not finding it.

"It's not in the girl's bathroom," he announced.

"I don't see it anywhere," said Nephrite.

"What does a life look like with no body, anyway?" asked Zoisite. "Is it like a soul? Is it like a ghost?"

"You'll know when you see it," said Nephrite. "There's no mistaking it."

Nephrite walked behind the counter, and checked everywhere.

He stuck his head in the fryer and looked in.

"You in there?" he gurgled.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?!" yelled a worker.

"Ye," said Nephrite, his face burnt to cinders. "I've been in better conditions though."

They left.


Nephrite rammed his vehicle right through the front window of Crown Arcade.

"Are you sure they didn't have a parking lot?" he asked Zoisite.

"No," said Zoisite. "No parking lot. That's the only way in."

They hopped out, and Nephrite decided to help himself to a game of Donkey Kong.

"Say," said Kunzite to Zoisite. "Why would Jadeite be here? He's never even met Motoki before, and he's never even been seen around Crown Arcade."

"Hmmm," said Zoisite. "I know if my life ever left me, it'd come right to this spot. There's no place I'd rather go to spend my final hours than the wonderful Crown Arcade!"

"Heh," said Kunzite. "You really like video games that much?"

"No," said Zoisite. "Frankly I hate arcades. Waste of money when I can play video games at the house. But there's a special man that works here. He's my closest friend."

"Hey!" yelled Motoki. "You gotta get out of here! You're not allowed here!"

On the wall, there was a picture of Zoisite that Motoki's sister drew.

"Orange man," the note read. "Don't let this guy in."

Zoisite took Motoki's life with a beam.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Motoki, flying through the arcade through all the machines.

"Nice," said Zoisite, putting Motoki's life in his pocket. "If only Jadeite's life was taken, rather than just leaving him. Then we'd at least know it was in good hands."

"Alright," said Zoisite to Nephrite. "He's not here. It's time to go."

"Sorry," said Nephrite. "I'm at 75m. I gotta get to 100 to beat Donkey."

"Well, hurry up," said Kunzite.

They waited patiently, and they heard the sound of jumping barrels many times.

After 30 minutes, Zoisite finally approached.

"Alright, Nephrite," he said. "It's time. You've played enough. We have this at home."

"Hold on," said Nephrite. "I gotta get to 100m."

"You're still not there?" demanded Zoisite. "How are you stuck on 75 that long? Doesn't it have a time limit?"

"Yeah," said Nephrite. "But this is my 11th time beating the game. I'm on a streak!"

Zoisite threw a punch, ending the machine.

"Hey!" said Nephrite. "If I knew it was gonna come to this, I would have just let my 14 lives leave me, and then I could put my name in the high scores as NEF. Since NEPH wouldn't fit, as it only allows 3 characters."

"Then no one would even know it's you," argued Zoisite.

"Shut up!" said Nephrite. "You ruined my time!"

He hopped in the car.

"Let's go," he said angrily.

Zoisite sighed and hopped in.

"You owe me a quarter, by the way," said Nephrite.

"I'll pay you back soon," lied Zoisite, with no intention to pay him back.


The next stop was Juuban Junior High.

"This is another place I don't think Jed's ever been," said Zoisite. "Why are we here?"

Nephrite shrugged. "Jadeite's life has to be somewhere. We just have to check everywhere. I visited here once," reminisced Nephrite. "I somehow put notes in everyone's locker. It was a hard feat, and took two hours. "

"Why this school?" asked Zoisite.

"Because Sailor Moon must go here," said Nephrite.

"What makes you think that?" said Zoisite.

"Just a hunch," said Nephrite. "A good one. Maybe the stars told me, I'll never tell!"

The three of them entered the school, because there was no security.

"Well, I guess let's just check in some classrooms," said Kunzite. "Maybe Jadeite wants to be in a slice-of-life environment before he passes on."

They started poking their heads in classrooms, disrupting every class in a row.

Kunzite entered the girls' bathroom, and opened all the stalls.

"Mmm," he said. "One would think Jadeite might come here, but I guess Jadeite's a gay man. That's why he didn't like that Youma. Or it was because she was a Youma. To us, Youmas are like dogs. No matter how civilized the Youma is, and even if it can turn into a human, it is still too low on the hierarchy."

"Ah!" said Kunzite, suddenly getting an idea.

He entered the girls' locker room.

"Jadeite, are you here?" he said. Then he corrected himself. "Jadeite's life?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" shrieked a bunch of girls.

They had nothing in their hands but their clothes, so they had no choice but to throw them at Kunzite.

Kunzite grabbed a couple pairs and left.

The Shitennou rendezvous at the entrance.

"No signs of Jadeite's life," said Nephrite. "But I did find Mully in math class. I told her to come out in the hall for a minute because maybe she'd seen Jadeite's life, but that old hag of a teacher she had wouldn't let her leave. Ms. Haruna she called her."

"Kunzite," said Zoisite. "Why are you holding girls' gym clothes?"

"They were given to me," said Kunzite. "As a present."

"I don't think that's the case," said Zoisite. "But we're running out of time. Jadeite's life is soon to begin its voyage to the afterlife. Let's actually check places he's been to."

They went to the Negaverse.

"We should have checked here to begin with," said Nephrite.

They checked the Negaverse, but he wasn't there.

They entered his dark space

"Are you there?!" said Nephrite. "Jadeite's life!"

There was no response.

"You fool," said Zoisite. "If Jadeite's life wanted to be found, he wouldn't have left to begin with. He's obviously hiding from us; there's no use in calling him."

"Shut up," said Nephrite. "I know that. But it was just worth a try."

"Why would Jadeite's life leave him?" considered Kunzite again. "Jadeite's not that bad of a guy, surely his life would prefer to be in a body than to leave the living realm."

"We'll never know until we find his life," said Zoisite. "Then we can ask him."

"There's one place we haven't looked," said Nephrite. "But if I was Jadeite's life, I would stay far away from there."

"Where?" demanded Zoisite.

"Hmm," said Nephrite, to himself. "It's a longshot. But it still might work."

"WHEEERE?!" said Zoisite.

"Follow me," said Nephrite, hopping in his car.

He drove out through a store into Earth, and kept driving.

They arrived at Haneda airport, and hopped out of the car.

"You think he flew to another country?" asked Kunzite. "I don't think they'd let his life on a flight without a ticket."

"He might have snuck on," said Zoisite. "Quick, before the planes take off!"

"No, you fools," said Nephrite. "He'd be on the runway. This is where his life was taken originally, so he might come back for some kind of nostalgia, or to bring his life full circle before he says goodbye. It's kind of symbolic, really."

"LOOK!" exclaimed Kunzite. "There it is, on the runway! Jadeite's life!"

And there it was.

Jadeite's life was sitting on the edge of Terminal F, with his legs dangling over the water.

He looked up at the crescent moon with a fulfilled glimmer, like he had lived a long life and was ready to drift off into the realm of the unknown now that his final wish was satisfied.

"JADDEIIITE'S LIIIIIIFE!" screamed the Shitennou, sprinting out of the building and straight for the life.

"You're not leaving today!" yelled Kunzite. "We're taking you back to Jadeite right now!"

Jadeite's life shook his head. "It's time to go," it said.

"No it's not," said Zoisite. "Jadeite was a perfectly healthy man, with mystical abilities, and you just left him! That was cruel! It was like a one night stand, and you left without saying goodbye!"

"Sorry," said Jadeite's life. "It's just what has to be. If I told Jadeite I was about to leave, he would have fought back. My hands were tied, so to speak."

Kunzite got ready for battle. "If you won't go with us willingly, then we'll take you by force!"

Suddenly a dropkick landed on Kunzite, throwing him all the way across the very long runway.

Kunzite rolled across the ground, and landed on his back, stunned.

"HO HO HO!" said Kenji, like a crazed Santa. "I'm glad I could make it to the adventure!"

"Kenji!" yelled Nephrite angrily. "You've done a lot of cruel things, like killing your son, but this is definitely in the top 5! Step out of the way and let us do what we must with Jadeite's life."

"Sorry," said Kenji. "But I'll be taking that life. Don't get in my way!"

That's when Kenji grabbed Jadeite's life under his arm, like it was some kind of physical matter, and then took off running.

"Get back here!" yelled Zoisite and Nephrite, booking after him on foot.

Kenji sprinted high-knees at top speeds, starting to break a sweat.

"How is he so fast?!" yelled Zoisite. "The lightness of Jadeite's soul must be giving him a buff!"

"No," said Nephrite. "That's just not it. He must have just had his toast with orange juice, and is powered up like Popeye. What a crazed man," added Nephrite in a full sprint.

Zoisite wasn't keeping up with Nephrite's fast jog, but had no choice but to keep running.

That's when a plane took off right over their heads, as if the driver hadn't even spotted the three people and one ghost running around in the runway.

As the plane passed over Kenji's head, he did a mighty leap, latching onto its wheel, and then got taken into the plane when the wheels folded.

Nephrite and Zoisite just watched as the plane took off and flew off into the distance.

"Shoot!" said Nephrite. "What are we gonna do?!"

"Hmm," said Zoisite. "First we're gonna make sure Kunzite's life didn't leave him as well, and then we're gonna go talk to the people and ask where that plane just went."


They headed back into the airport building.

After waiting in line for ten minutes, they reached the front.

"Where'd that plane just go?" demanded Zoisite.

"Which plane?" said the worker.

"The one that left on Terminal F 10 minutes ago," said Zoisite. "My friend just took that flight, but I think he might have taken the wrong one."

"Hmmm…" said the worker. "That one went to California, in the United States."

"Hmm," said Nephrite. "Me and English don't go together well. But I guess we have no choice."

They teleported to California.

"Alright," said Nephrite. "What airport do you think it will land at?"

"Shoot!" said Zoisite. "We should have asked for a flight number! Or a city, as a city only has one airport!"

The Shitennou teleported back to Japan, and discovered the flight.

They returned to the right airport, and waited for a couple hours.

Finally, the plane arrived.

"There it is!" yelled Zoisite.

They got in their battle stances, and waited patiently to destroy Kenji, hopefully in a jump attack.

But he never surfaced, and soon new passengers started getting on the plane.

"What is this!?" screamed Kunzite. "If Kenji doesn't come out in five minutes, I'm teleporting on there."

However, two minutes later, the plane left the airport.

"Shoot!" said Kunzite. "I don't think we can teleport on an object moving that fast."

"What the heck happened?" said Zoisite.

"He must have stayed on the plane," said Nephrite. "That bastard's giving us the runaround!"

They returned to Japan and waited.

After a few hours, the plane landed.

Kenji didn't emerge once again, but this time they threw the guards out of the way and hopped right on.

"KENJI!" yelled Nephrite. "We know you're on here!"

"Oop!" said Kenji, who was hiding in the bathroom.

They approached the door, and Nephrite nodded as they readied energy attacks in their arms.

He slowly opened the door, but that's when Kenji sprinted out at top speeds like a blur, leaping off the plane and running away.

"AFTER HIM!" yelled Nephrite.

They took off sprinting after him again, and ran inside the airport.

He did many crazy leaps over people, and the Shitennou did their best to keep up.

But Kenji was just too nimble.

They almost lost him a few times in the crowd, as he would slow his speed and pretend to be a regular Japanese man waiting for a flight, but he had a face that anyone could recognize and was running with a life under his arm as it flailed.

Kenji hopped on a bullet train and it quickly took off like a bullet.

The Shitennou leapt on the next one.

"After that train!" yelled Kunzite.

"It's usually unprofessional to follow another train that closely, as it's a safety hazard," said the conductor. "But I'll allow it just this once."

The Shitennou waited patiently as they road the bullet train.

Finally Kenji's bullet train stopped, and the Shitennou's train came crashing right into it.

There was a giant explosion, but Kenji leapt out of it like some kind of superhero, and landed on his feet with his arms out.

"Phew," he said.

That's when the Shitennou appeared, and got on all sides of him.

"Ahh," said Kenji. "Looks like it's time for the fists, huh?"

"Right," said Nephrite.

"Hmm," said Kenji, not looking very spooked at all. "Usually it's fists to cuffs, but today it's fist to belt."

Suddenly he whipped out his belt as quickly as a professional would whip out a gun, and swung it right for Kunzite's neck.

It wrapped around his neck, but Zoisite was quick on his feet and threw a crystal, snapping the belt like the rope holding the window cleaners on their platform.

"Shoot," said Kenji, retracting his torn belt. "Now what will hold my pants up? Psyche!"

He snapped it against the ground, and it grew back like a new belt.

He cracked it three times, and then gestured for them to come at him.

Kunzite was still coughing, as Kenji had used so much force that his head almost fell right off.

"Enough of this nonsense," said Nephrite.

He fired his best attack, but Kenji swung his belt like a whip, deflecting the attack right back at Nephrite.

Nephrite leapt out of the way, and Zoisite fired petals at Kenji.

But Kenji started swinging his belt like a madman, and whipped every single petal out of the air.

He swung his belt again, getting Zoisite by the foot, and then yanking it, tossing him to the floor.

He released Zoisite, as he had to swing his belt again when Kunzite tried to get within range.

Kenji sighed, as he wished he could have finished off Zoisite right there.

Nephrite ran up and threw a wild punch, but Kenji swung his belt like a lion tamer holding back a beast, and Nephrite had to retreat.

"This is foolish!" yelled Kunzite. "We can't get within range because he has a weapon that extends! But he also deflects all our long range attacks!"

"As a side note," said Nephrite. "I can see why Beryl keeps this guy around. And here I thought he was a regular human who was bad at fighting."

"Ho ho ho!" yelled Kenji, getting battle hungry and eager to take a life. He took off his second belt, becoming dual equipped.

Suddenly Zoisite found himself binded with both belts around his waist, with his arms pinned, unable to move.

Kenji whipped both his belts at the same instant, and they came flying at him like a wave.

The wave collided with Zoisite right as the belts released, and he was tossed into a wall where he dropped like he got hit by the Moon Wand.

"Alright!" said Kunzite. "I'll flank right, and you flank left, Nephy!"

They tried to pull off a quick maneuver, but Kenji was a master at swinging his belts, like he was some kind of puppeteer who knew how to work the strings perfectly.

Nephrite ducked under one belt swing, but was hit by the next, and tossed to the floor.

He slid across the ground on his side, and hit a pole but just on his back so this didn't cause damage.

Kunzite fired an energy attack, knowing Kenji would whip it right back with his belt, and got ready to volley it a second time straight for Kenji at twice the strength.

But that's when Kenji did the unthinkable, and tangled the energy ball in his two belts like it was a solid, holding it high above his head.

He swung down his belts, and Kunzite's energy ball collided with its creator, creating a large explosion.

Nephrite charged yet again with another punch, but one belt got his arm, and one belt got his opposite leg.

Kenji swung them up in the air, lifting Nephrite, and then swung them down, sending Nephrite to the ground.

He retracted his belts and swung them like a madman, just to show off his strength and agility.

Zoisite, still on the ground, shot a wave of fire, but Kenji swung his belt like a fan, deflecting the attack.

Then he swung his belt again, defeating Zoisite permanently.

Kunzite threw his boomerangs, but Kenji swung his belt several times, slicing the boomerangs into 28 pieces that dropped to the ground.

He swung one of his belts right for Kunzite, but Kunzite caught it in his fist, and started yanking back against it.

Kenji swung his other belt, landing many hits on Kunzite, but Kunzite hung on for dear life.

That's when suddenly Nephrite threw his body in a bodyslam, taking Kenji to the ground.

Kunzite threw himself at the downed beast, and Nephrite and Kunzite both threw many punches.

They confiscated his belts, and tore the belts to shreds so he could never use them again to hurt anyone, including his son.

"Fools," said Kenji. "At home, I have a whole closet of belts. Some with spikes!"

Kenji got to his feet and threw a punch, but Nephrite caught it and snapped his wrist.

"OWwWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Kenji.

Nephrite threw a punch, shattering his glasses.

"AH!" yelled Kenji. "Glass in my eyes. You rapscallion! I guess you want the fist then, huh?"

"Enough of this," said Kunzite. "You are defeated."

Kenji spit. "Barely. You got lucky."

"Give us Jadeite's life," said Kunzite.

"Ho ho ho," said Kenji. "I no longer have Jadeite's life. I abandoned it at the airport."

"What?" said Kunzite. "Why!?"

"Because," said Kenji. "You didn't take me on an adventure. I didn't even want the life. I just took it so you wouldn't have it. I guess I reached the same goal anyway, as that life is probably in the realm of the incomprehensible right now."

"No!" yelled Kunzite.

That's when Kenji quickly took out another belt.

Kunzite and Nephrite leapt into their battle stances, but Kenji tied the belt to the ceiling and then around his neck like a noose, taking his life.

His life left him, and they let it go into the great beyond unopposed.

"Good riddance," said Kunzite. "Crazed man."

"Too bad he'll be back next chapter," sighed Nephrite.

"Of course," said Kunzite. "It's just the workings of the universe. I don't question them."

Kunzite helped Zoisite to his feet.

"Just leave me," said Zoisite. "I'm too injured. I will be fine in a few weeks, but you have to go get Jadeite's life before it's too late."

Zoisite laid back down and took a nap with the homeless people.

Kunzite shrugged, and they left.


After running and yelling, they finally found Jadeite's life a mile away from the airport.

It was floating up towards the sky, ready to go to the great beyond and not return.

"It's time to pass on!" said Jadeite's life. "I'm glad I ditched those hooligans."

That's when suddenly Nephrite leapt in the air, and took Jadeite's life to the ground, landing on top of it with his body weight.

"NO!" said the life. "Let me just go to the afterlife!"

"You have a lot of nerve!" yelled Nephrite.

"Let me be FREEEEE!" yelled Jadeite's life.

Nephrite threw a punch into its face.

"No," said Kunzite. "Maybe if Jadeite actually died from something, or his life was taken, then you could go pass on peacefully. But you can't just leave for no reason at all, with no warning. It's a life's duty to last it out through thick and thin, and cling as long as you can to the living realm until it's your time to peacefully go."

"You fool," said Jadeite's life. "It's better off to leave unopposed before I get taken. Because once I'm taken by someone else I'll never escape their grasp!"

"You idiot," said Nephrite. "Once a life is taken, it's not physical taken. It can still pass on peacefully."

"Oh?" said Jadeite's life. "Well, I didn't know that. I thought that once a life was taken, it was physically stolen by the person forever. I didn't know that it just means I leave my body."

"Well now you know," said Nephrite. "So you have no reason to leave so soon. Stop fighting us, and go back to Jadeite."

"NEEEEEEVVEEEERR!" yelled Jadeite's life. "I've come all this way, and I would be too embarrassed to face Jadeite after the stunt I've pulled. It's time to go to the other dimension!"

It threw a leaping kick, but Nephrite blocked it, as Jadeite's life was significantly weaker than Jadeite as a whole, and Jadeite as a whole was significantly weaker than Nephrite.

But Nephrite was thrown off guard when Jadeite's life threw a grandslam, followed by a triple flyby, completely flooring Nephrite.

"Shoot!" said Kunzite. "I didn't know that a life could throw such advanced techniques! I thought you needed a body for that! I didn't know that a soul that's so unattached to the living world and was seconds from drifting to the great beyond could inflict so much damage to a living being,"

But Nephrite leapt to his feet, and got back on the creature again, and started throwing punches.

Kunzite joined in, and threw punches and kicks.

Nephrite charged back and threw his body after getting tossed again, but Jadeite's life rolled to the side, and Nephrite suffered great recoil.

Jadeite's life unleashed a cyclone punch, knowing that Nephrite was vulnerable after missing a throw, but Kunzite threw a dropkick, stunning the unholy manifestation.

It was a long battle, it sure was, but Nephrite and Kunzite finally got the upperhand after some time, and proceeded to give the life a thorough beating.

After 20 minutes of just throwing clobbers with no opposition, they had beaten the life into submission, and they took it back to Jadeite's tombstone.

Zoisite made it, because he worked hard and wanted to see Jadeite revived.

They unearthed Jadeite, and sent the life back in where it belonged.

Jadeite sat up.

"Huh?" he said. "What happened? The last thing I remember, I was just walking down the street, and suddenly my life left me!"

"Yes," said Nephrite. "We worked hard, and brought it back to you."

"Hmm," said Jadeite. "Thanks! I really owe you guys one!"

"Yeah," said Nephrite. "But what's gonna stop your life from leaving you again?"

"Don't worry," said Jadeite. "I'll stay on guard now, and not let it escape again."

"Better not," said Zoisite. "Because next time we're just gonna let it pass on. It really wanted to."

"Foolish life," scoffed Jadeite. "I'm keeping it trapped in my body forever."

FIN