"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"
"Hmmm," considered Beryl. "The Sailors have been giving you a hard time, eh?"
"No?" said Jadeite. "Where would you hear such a ludicrous idea?"
"No one in particular," said Beryl. "Just an assumption, based on the amount of energy you brought in."
"Hey," said Jadeite. "Watch it. I'll put you on ice!"
"What was that?" said Beryl. "The only one that will be put on ice is you, once you get an eternal boy!"
"An eternal boy?" asked Jadeite. "I don't think I want a boy for that long."
Beryl narrowed her eyes. "You know what I mean, small one."
"Alright, are we done here?" sighed Jadeite.
"Hmm," said Beryl. "Why do we even need young Jadeite? One of Kunzite's Youmas would be very mighty, and could also shapeshift into a human. And some of them were better at masking their Nega energy than you."
"Actually," said Jadeite. "None of Kunzite's Youmas were seen taking energy, so they might not even be able to."
"No," said Beryl. "We're looking for the Silver Crystal. You and your energy game are just a sideshow, while young Zoisite is looking for that Silver boy."
"Actually," said Nephrite, who was somehow standing next to Jadeite but no one saw him come in. "Zoisite's job of finding the Silver Crystal was given to me."
"NOoOoooooo!" said Zoisite, running in in a frenzy. "No one gave that to you!"
"It was a hostile takeover," explained Nephrite. "It was just sitting there in space, waiting to be taken. So I pulled out my bag, and put it inside."
"It's not a physical object!" cried Zoisite. "And if it was, it would have my name on it!"
"I'd just take off the nametag," said Nephrite.
"No!" said Zoisite. "It'd be written on the object itself, in permanent ink!"
"That kind of lowers the quality of the item," said Nephrite. "It'd sell for less on Ebay. But nonetheless, I would just cross off your name if I had to."
"Go away," said Beryl. "I'm removing the job from both of you."
"What?!" cried Nephrite.
"What?!" cried Zoisite. "No, Queen Beryl! This is all part of Nephrite's plan! He never wanted to find the Silver Crystal anyway!"
"Sorry," said Beryl. "Obviously you two have shown zero results. You spent so much time fighting over whose job it was, that you forgot to do that job."
Zoisite clenched his fist. "That's it," he said. "I'm calling Kunzite."
"Ah," said Jadeite. "Actually that can't be. I'm borrowing Kunzite for the day."
"Huh!?" said Zoisite. "For what purpose!?"
"Sadly," said Jadeite. "I had to take him. Hostile takeover."
"Everything is taken from me," said Zoisite. "Next, someone's gonna take my house. And then if things go that direction, my life will probably be next."
That's when Zoisite's house phone called to Zoisite's cellphone.
"Ah, Kunzite," said Zoisite. "You have to hurry over, I'm being bullied from many angles!"
"Actually, no," said Kenji. "Well yes about the bullying. And to that, I reply, 'Haha!'"
"Hey!" said Zoisite. "What is this?! How did you get in my house?!"
"Sadly this is my house now," said Kenji. "It even has the plate with the name Tsukino Kenji on it on the door."
"Oh great," said Zoisite, getting down on the ground. "I have nothing left, except for my life."
Suddenly Beryl took Zoisite's life, joining in on the bully.
"Ho ho ho," said Kenji over the phone. "Is that the sound of Zoisite's death?"
But he wasn't on speaker, so no one replied. He eventually took his best guess at what happened, and hung up.
"Hmm," said Nephrite. "I hope Zoisite doesn't have a Zoisite chapter one of these days, where he succeeds. The last one was that time I was camping outside their house, and they followed me due to my trail of snacks. It's been a long time since that happened, and hopefully it stays that way."
"You know who could go for a win?" said Jadeite. "Me. And that's why I'm leaving."
"You're quitting your job!?" demanded Beryl.
"No," said Jadeite. "That was never an option on the table. Rather, I need to prove I'm stronger than a Kunzite Youma, and show everyone they were wrong for underestimating me."
"Ah!" said Beryl. "I would like to see this."
"Sadly you cannot," said Jadeite. "This is a duel that must be done in private."
Jadeite teleported away.
"So uh…" said Nephrite. "That Silver Crystal job."
"Shut up," said Beryl.
Kunzite was down at the docks, with a Youma on a leash.
"Kunzite," said Jadeite. "It's time."
"Yes," said Kunzite.
"Hey," said Jadeite. "Did you hear about Zoisite?"
"Yes," said Kunzite. "I'll ask Metalia to revive him, but this is more important."
"Did you hear about your house?" asked Jed.
"Yes," said Kunzite. "I plan on getting it back. But I've been holding this Youma on a leash for four hours while I waited for you to arrive, so again, it is time."
"Please, good sir," said Shakoukai. "Let me go. I am capable of speaking fluent Japanese. It is not necessary to keep me on a leash."
"Yeah right," said Kunzite. "Knowing you, you would try to escape if you heard you were going to fight Jadeite. His reputation is a good one, except amongst the Shitennou."
"Hmm," said Shakoukai. "You told me your Youmas are stronger than him, though."
"I did say that," said Kunzite. "Well then."
He let go of the leash, and a steel cage dropped down over Jadeite and Shakoukai.
Jadeite got in his fighting stance.
"Ha!" said Jadeite. "Kunzite, you're wrong again! You wouldn't know this due to your distant and irresponsible Youma management, but none of your Youmas have ever fought more than two Sailors! This was clearly done on purpose, to never place your Youmas above me in power!"
"Wrong, wrong," said Kunzite. "It was all coincidence. And you lost to three Sailors."
"Nope," said Jadeite. "My gimmick turned on me. I lost to myself in a 1v1, yes, but I did not lose to the Sailors."
"Let's get this show on the road, Shakoukai," said Kunzite. "Take him down!"
"Yes sir," said Shakoukai. "Pit me against your blond-haired friend, please. I will teach him some manners."
"No friend," said Jadeite. "I'm Kunzite's greatest foe."
With that, Kunzite rang the fight bell.
Jadeite sprung into action, and charged right for Shakoukai like a beast.
"You didn't stand a chance!" he yelled.
He was at such a mighty speed he vanished.
"He's fast!" yelled Shakoukai in her head.
Jadeite appeared in front of her, and threw a punch, socking her in the chops, and tossing her into the wall of the cage.
"Shakoukai!" said Kunzite. "You can't give up yet!"
"Yes," said Shakoukai. "I'm just getting started."
She rubbed her wounded chops.
Jadeite shot lightning, planning to finish the Youma in one move.
Suddenly she fired wax out of her clam things that were all over her body.
The lightning collided with the wax, and suddenly turned to wax.
"HUH!?" said Jadeite. "Hold up, hold up, hold up!" he exclaimed, raising the cage with his psychic powers. "This is not a fair gauge of my power. This Youma seems to possess a mighty mystic ability. If we really wanted to test my strength, then you could put me against one of the simpler ones. Like Ninjago, or even that Blizzard one."
"Hmm," said Kunzite with a smirk. "I knew you'd back out."
"No," said Jadeite. "You obviously pulled this particular Youma, knowing it was the only one that had a mighty enough move that could counter the great Jadeite!"
"No," lied Kunzite. "I just grabbed one randomly. I didn't think you'd have much trouble."
"Wrong," said Jadeite. "Even you would have trouble with this beast. It has an ability far surpassing its power level, just like Krillin's Destructo Disc, that was never seen not working. Or Buu's chocolate beam."
"Actually," said Kunzite. "The chocolate beam was used on Vegito, and he was still able to move and even fight. You should try getting turned to wax, and see if you are strong enough to still fight."
"Nice try," said Jadeite. "But this is obviously the mightiest move in the series. She could have done the work of the DD Girls singlehandedly. She in fact was only defeated because she was off guard and distracted by you and Endymion's foolish argument. None of the Sailors' attacks worked on her."
"That applies for a lot of Youmas," said Kunzite. "Like Nephrite's twins."
"No no," said Jadeite. "Sadly Shakoukai is a secret weapon, like a nuclear bomb."
Shakoukai was blushing. "Now, now," she said.
"Don't be modest," said Jadeite. "It's true. A creature stronger than its creator, you are the envy of the Dark Kingdom. Having an ability such as yours that cannot falter, you are able to defeat much stronger opponents. Just like Deboris with his spit."
"Now, now," said Kunzite. "I would not say Shakoukai could defeat me. If she were to charge me, I would just block her weak wax with a dark energy bubble."
"Oh yeah?" said Jadeite. He paused for a moment. "Shakoukai, get him!"
"Hahaha!" said Kunzite. "You think she would really-"
Suddenly wax came flying straight for Kunzite.
He quickly put up a bubble at the last second, but it was turned to wax and then melted.
Kunzite quickly leapt in a portal.
Shakoukai waxed the portal and it fell to the floor, but Kunzite managed to escape with his life.
"Good work," said Jadeite. "You and me make a good team, Shakoukai."
"Yes," said Shakoukai. "You're the only one who appreciated me. Endymion and Kunzite just argued over me like they were both pups, and I was the bone."
"Good simile," said Jadeite. "And your grammar is flawless. You are a magnificent creature."
"Yes," said Shakoukai. "One time I actually killed Sailors Mercury and Jupiter."
"Wow, really?" said Jadeite.
"Yes," said Shakoukai. "But they were in their base forms."
"As I say," said Jadeite. "A kill's a kill."
"Yes," said Shakoukai. "They were legitimately dead. I turned them to wax. That in fact counted as a death, and they in fact went to heaven, as their brains were only wax and their souls could not reside there."
"Wow," said Jadeite. "You'll never cease to amaze me."
"If only I could get revenge on those pesky Sailors," said Shakoukai. "Thinking they were somehow better than me even though they were basically goners if those clowns Endymion and Kunzite didn't come along."
"Ah!" said Jadeite. "I've been meaning to take out the Sailors as well! Meet me at the airport, I'll take care of everything."
"Yes!" said Shakoukai.
Jadeite made his typical burn down Tokyo threat, the tenth one that week, but this time he gave out a location.
"Meet me at Haneda Airport at 1AM!"
He set up his police claymen brigade, to whittle out all the weaklings.
Unfortunately, three school kids perished, who showed up for the fight.
"They must not be the Sailors," said Jadeite. "But if they were, all is good."
Eventually the Sailors showed up, like a rat to a rat trap, and so did the two cats.
Jadeite appeared on top of a tall perch.
"Sailor Moon. Sailor Mercury. Sailors Mars. The other two Sailors whose names I don't know. Cats," said Jadeite. "Now I've got you where I want you!"
"Jadeite!" yelled Luna.
"Yes," said Jadeite. "That is my name. Anyway, you… seven little lambs are going to hell!"
The Sailors got in their battle stances, and the cats did too.
"The life of a flower," said Jadeite. "Is short-"
That's when Shakoukai, who was hovering above, unleashed a wave of wax.
The wax suddenly rained down, turning the Sailors to wax.
Luna was the last to be hit, due to how close she was to the ground.
In that one extra second, she managed to yell out, "Jadeite!"
Then she was turned to wax.
"MmmmmMM!" said Jadeite. "And full of suffering! HAhahahahhahaha! Excellent work, Shakoukai!"
"Thank you very much," said Shakoukai.
Jadeite floated his new wax statues up in the air with his psychic powers, and then dropped them in a portal, putting them in his dark space.
Jadeite admired his statue garden.
"I can still see the terror frozen on their face," he chuckled. "Their only use now is as candles, but they will not be very good candles, as they have no wick."
"Heh heh," said Shakoukai. "We can put wicks, and then use them as lighting for weeks."
"No," said Jadeite. "I'm starting a figure collection. Like some kind of collector nerd, who collects figures, specifically wax figures. We have to keep my dark space at a reasonable temperature so they don't melt."
"Hee hee hee," said Shakoukai. "I had a collection of young girls once. But they weren't valuable ones. It's like collecting rare figures, but only having the common ones."
"Heh heh heh," said Jadeite.
"Hee hee hee," said Shakoukai.
That's when a poorly drawn Beryl appeared.
"Jadeite," she said, floating in his dark space.
"Ah, hello," said Jadeite. "Look what I got!"
"I can't see," said Beryl. "I'm in an incomplete form. My image is being transmitted, but I can't receive your image."
Jadeite sighed. "Just come in here."
"Rrr… fine," said Beryl.
Beryl entered ten minutes later as her strange image started to get more and more deformed.
She was just a scribble when Beryl finally made her appearance.
"Sorry about that," said Beryl. "I haven't done that in a while."
"Yes," said Jadeite. "Please never do it again."
"What is so important that you needed to pry me off my throne?" demanded Beryl. "It better be good! And by good, I mean Silver Crystal!"
"Eh," said Jadeite. "It's indirectly the Silver Crystal, as there's no one alive anymore who can use it, so it's just a waiting game until it turns up somewhere."
"What do you mean?" asked Beryl.
"Observe," said Jadeite.
Shakoukai did a curtsy with her long dress.
"What is this?" said Beryl. "These are just sculptures."
"Wax figures, actually," said Jadeite. "But they're not just any wax figures. They are the Sailors, imprisoned in wax."
Beryl narrowed her eyes. "Did you really think you could piece together such a hodge-podge attempt to fool me!? I know these aren't the real Sailors! You're trying to trick me so I don't kill you for your inability to take them out!"
"No," said Jadeite. "They really are the Sailors. And thinking about it, they're not really imprisoned in the wax, they just became it. In other words, they are in the other world."
"I don't believe it," said Beryl, walking over to the very detailed sculpture of Sailor Moon.
"Although, on the other hand," she considered, examining the figure closely. "This is extremely accurate."
She placed a hand where Sailor Moon's heart once was, and she felt a surge of power that was just now leaving her body, as she no longer was alive and her energy had to go to the above.
Beryl let out a loud gasp. "HUUUWAAaAAH!" she gasped. "It really is the Sailors! Jadeite, how did you do this?!"
"It was all Shakoukai," said Jadeite. "The greatest Youma, no, the greatest friend, to ever live."
"Wooooooooooow!" said Beryl. "Jadeite, this is incredible! I must promote you to the highest Shitennou! You are a hero to the Negaverse!"
Jadeite genuinely smiled.
"Alright," said Jadeite. "That's all I wanted to hear, before… you know."
"You know what?" said Beryl.
That's when Shakoukai fired wax, but Beryl was quick on her feet this time, and had her ball on her staff.
"KYAAA!" she yelled, shooting out a pink wave.
But the pink wave turned to wax as the two attacks collided, and the wax dropped to the ground.
Beryl tried to run for the door, but Jadeite ran up and dropkicked her.
But Beryl wasn't going down without a fight. She fell to her knees, but quickly got to her feet and swung her arm, throwing Jadeite.
Shakoukai fired another round of wax, and Beryl had no choice but to hold up her staff.
It was turned to wax, and half her arm too.
"NOOOO!" she said. "Everything has gone horribly wrong!"
She started firing waves of energy out of her other hand, keeping Shakoukai at bay.
But Jadeite suddenly fired lightning.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" screamed Beryl, getting zapped.
Shakoukai turned her to wax, making an excellent statue.
"I call this one an ultra rare," said Jadeite.
"Who's next?" said Shakoukai.
"We all know who's next," said Jadeite.
He walked outside, and Nephrite was at the soda machine.
"Mmmm," said Nephrite.
Suddenly wax came flying his way, but Nephrite was on his guard as usual, when Molly wasn't distracting him.
He did a mighty leap, but when he landed he turned in horror to see the vending machine was no more.
"UURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" yelled Nephrite in fury.
He was bloodlusted, sending out an aura of energy, nearly knocking Jadeite off his feet.
He was bloodlusted, and lost all reason.
He charged Shakoukai in blind fury, forgetting all his basic battle techniques.
Shakoukai turned him to wax, mid-charge.
"EEEEEEASY!" said Jadeite. "Should we haul in the soda machine as well and put it next to him like a background prop?"
"Yes," said Shakoukai.
Jadeite entered Metalia's chambers with Shakoukai.
Zoisite was sitting on the respawn bed, just having been respawned.
"Ah, I have a new lease on life!" he said.
That's when he spotted Jadeite hanging out with one of Kunzite's Youmas.
"What is this?" said Zoisite.
"Shakoukai, now!" yelled Jadeite.
Zoisite had no chance.
He tried to dive behind the respawn bed, but he got waxed in a really goofy position from his lunge.
"What is this?" said Metalia. "Are you trying to keep him from respawning by turning him into wax? Is this some kind of spawn camp?"
"Hmmm," said Jadeite.
He looked at Shakoukai, and Shakoukai nodded.
Jadeite suddenly ran up and threw a punch into Metalia's big eye.
She shrieked.
Jadeite knew that if they tried to wax her in her pod, she'd still be alive on the inside, like a baby T-rex frozen for a million years in an egg.
Thus, he threw a dropkick into the pod, shattering it.
Gaseous Metalia tried to head for the vents that were only placed in there as an emergency measure, but Shakoukai took her down a notch.
"EEEEEEEEEEEASSSSSY!" said Jadeite, again.
He put Zoisite over his shoulder, and picked up the strange blob sculpture that was Metalia.
"What an odd creature," he said, examining the art.
Kunzite was in the doorway to his castle, but not able to step inside.
"Come on," said Kunzite, trying to bargain with Kenji. "Just let me get my things."
"No can do," said Kenji. "My hands are tied."
"Come on," said Kunzite. "Just because I left my house for a few minutes doesn't mean you can just take it!"
"Yes it does," said Kenji. "If you leave a laptop just sitting there, it will be stolen. Same with houses."
"The door was locked!" said Kunzite.
"Yes," said Kenji. "The windows too. But they couldn't withstand rock after rock. Now leave my property, or I'll call the Negapolice."
Kunzite sighed, knowing he was defeated.
"This isn't over," he promised.
Kenji slammed the door, and Kunzite sat down on his front steps.
He grabbed the newspaper that somehow, someway, Kenji had failed to take inside despite his passion.
"Ah!" said Kunzite. "The Negaverse Times. Let's see what house listings they have today!"
That's when Kunzite was taken to the wax realm while he was completely off guard.
Jadeite threw a kick, destroying the wax newspaper.
"Ah," said Jadeite. "A perfect model of Kunzite."
He kicked down Kunzite's door, and Kenji was inside, eating toast.
"Goodbye," said Jadeite.
"What is this?" said Kenji, getting up in anger and pulling out his belt.
He didn't want to wait for an answer, so he swung his belt.
But he was turned to wax with his belt mid-swing.
"Ah!" said Jadeite. "An action sculpture! Very good!"
Jadeite hauled his new catches back to the statue garden.
"The collection is growing!" said Jadeite happily.
He lined up the Shitennou in rank order, and put the Beryl in the front of the line.
He put Kenji of course second in line.
The Sailors were their own exhibit, but once he got more and more sculptures he'd have to fuse the exhibits into one.
"Let's go back on the field, Shakoukai," he said.
"I love turning people to wax," said Shakoukai.
It was the middle of the night, and Jadeite entered Mamoru Chiba's apartment.
As everyone knew, inside was the Mamoru Quartet.
One was sleeping on the couch, one on the bed, one in a futon in the bedroom, and one in a futon in the office room.
They all died pleasantly in their sleep, and since they were laying, they were able to be stood upright.
"Ah," said Jadeite. "That was easy. I knew it was a good idea to come while they were sleeping. If I hadn't, the Moonlight Knight might have tried to take his life, and mine with it."
"What should we call this exhibit?" asked Shakoukai.
"Sadly," said Jadeite. "We're getting too many. We have no more room for exhibits. But if we were gonna do an exhibit, we'd call it The Four Corners."
"Mmm… I don't think so," said Shakoukai.
"Whatever," said Jadeite.
Jadeite entered Crown Arcade.
"Please sir," begged Motoki. "Do not hit me with a beam. I say this to every customer now, because I never know when that fiend Zoisite will be disguised! Wait, are you him!?"
"No," said Jadeite. "No beam," he promised. "Hey, can you do a goofy pose for me though? Maybe a peace sign?"
"Like this?" said Motoki.
"Perfect," said Jadeite.
Motoki was turned to wax.
Motoki's sister walked in.
"Motoki!?" she cried. "You're looking a little solid! Are you sick?"
That's when she spotted Jadeite and some monster.
"AAAAARUUUUUUUUU!" she yelled, throwing her body.
Jadeite put up his arms, tanking the throw, and Shakoukai had to stop her wax in midair because it would have taken both of them down.
Jadeite stumbled back from the mighty throw, and Motoki's sister unleashed a barrage of punches, like someone letting go of a pulled back rubber band.
Jadeite threw a kick into her stomach, throwing her backwards.
She fell to the ground, and was turned to wax in a hunched over in pain position.
The orange man walked in, and then tried to run.
He was turned to wax mid-dash.
"Wow," said Jadeite. "Three in one go. Saved us a lot of time."
That's when Gamer Joe walked in to clear the clawing machine that had been refilled for the day.
He took out a checker. "Here we go!" he said.
But that was his last word.
They ended up with a sculpture of Gamer Joe holding a checker.
"Wow," said Jadeite. "This just keeps getting better and better. We don't even have to move, they just keep coming."
That's when Reika pranced in on her steed.
"Motoki," she said. "I returned from Africa to ride a horse, as there's none in Africa."
She was turned to wax along with her steed, like some kind of George Washington statue.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEASY!" said Jadeite. "This is the big grab round!"
He waited patiently for someone else, but no one else came in.
"Okay," said Jadeite. "It was still an amazing grab."
Next, Jadeite embarked on Grandpa's temple.
The crows charged for him, but they were turned to wax.
Jadeite put them in his pocket.
He continued up the steps, and the next obstacle appeared.
Yuuichirou spawned next to him and charged him with a broom. He was turned to wax, overall grabbing a good representation of his character.
Jadeite knocked on the temple door, and Grandpa opened it.
He frowned.
"So it's come to this," he said.
"Shakoukai!" yelled Jadeite.
Shakoukai fired wax, but Grandpa was a nimble man.
He started running across the wall, and Shakoukai couldn't pin him down.
"Woah woah woah woah!" said Jadeite, firing lightning to try to cut off his path.
But Grandpa zigzagged around the lightning, and did a mighty leap.
"This old geezer's got spunk!" yelled Jadeite.
But suddenly, the temple started to collapse due to half of its solid supports turning to wax from Shakoukai's misfires.
The roof landed on Grandpa, and he was in fact sent into peril.
He stood up to try to fight, but a man without a temple is like a man without miso soup.
Grandpa died, but he was still able to be turned to wax despite not living.
"You know," said Jadeite. "I think it's time to go grab the rest of the Rainbow Crystal carriers. I mean, we already have 3/7. It will be like that time Chiba collected them with the Black Crystal."
Shakoukai shrugged. "Sounds like a jam."
Peggy Jones was the first to fall.
She did not put up a fight, and the rest followed suit.
Greg, who could predict the future, was running down the street trying to jump in front of a train.
"I'd rather die!" he yelled. "Than get turned into a wax monstrosity!"
Those were his last words, as he was turned to wax.
Boxy and the cat accepted their fates, and Boxy was frozen mid-pray.
"Now what, kind sir?" asked Shakoukai.
"Follow me," said Jadeite.
He invaded Juuban Middle, and entered a classroom.
Shakoukai sprayed wax like a fire extinguisher, turning everyone to wax.
He picked out all the notable students for his collection, starting with Molly, Melvin, and Haruna.
He picked out some of the other named students, such as Yuuji, the two girls from the manga, the glasses kid that accompanies Yuuji, and Tubby.
Then, he proceeded to invade the Tsukino household to clean up the trash.
Ikuko, Shingle and Shangle were all hiding in a closet, knowing the end was near.
"Mama," said Shingle. "Where's Kenji? He could hold off this fiend!"
"He's gone," said Ikuko. "I felt his power level drop to zero."
"He's g-g-g-g-g-g-gone!?" asked Shingle in shock. "I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Shingle ran out of the closet, and Jadeite and Shakoukai were waiting for who knows how long.
Jadeite threw a punch, and Shingle was tossed back into Ikuko.
Shangle made his final stand by throwing a leaping kick, but Jadeite didn't want another leaping kick statue as he already had five, so he blocked the leaping kick, greatly suppressing his power to look like he was about to fight on par.
Shangle landed on his feet, and then was turned to wax.
Shingle and Ikuko followed suit, without much of a fight.
Ikuko was nabbed mid-frying pan swing.
Diana came running in, and no one even spotted her.
"Well, I think those are the only ones here," said Jadeite. "Let's go."
As they teleported away, a drip of Shakoukai's wax landed on Diana.
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" she squeaked. She was turned to wax.
"Oooh," said Jadeite. "Almost forgot."
He grabbed the tiny kit.
"Search for your love," sang Taiki's forehead.
The Three Lights were in mid-concert
Seiya went into his Japanese lines, and the others sung background.
Jadeite was sitting in the audience, watching with crossed arms.
"Heh," he said. "Their lives will soon be over. So let them keep singing, knowing that this song will be their last."
They finished the song, and were subsequently turned to wax.
The audience went wild, but not in a good way.
"WHYYYYYYEEE!" cried their fans.
Jadeite had no choice but to turn them to wax.
Shakoukai started spraying it like a sprinkler into the crowd, and Jadeite had to take out an umbrella.
None escaped, and Jadeite discarded his wax umbrella.
"Little ones," said Kitakata. "I'm gonna be next, I know. Unfortunately I was notable enough to get my name remembered, and that has turned out to be a curse. Will I have to leave this world without ever meeting a fairy?"
"Shut up, weird guy," said a voice.
That's when Shakoukai appeared, without even Jadeite because these were just scraps.
"What day is it? Wax Wednesday?" asked Shakoukai.
"No, it's Thursday, you shelled beast!" yelled Momoko.
Momoko and her little cap were taken for a ride, but not the good kind. The ride ended suddenly when she was turned to wax, congruent to a dead end on her life's journey, which hadn't been very long to begin with.
"Wh-w-w-w-wwhat happened?!" cried Kyuusuke.
"Boy," said Shakoukai.
She said nothing else, and then Kyuusuke became a figure.
Kitakata, despite being a pacifist who wouldn't hurt a flower even if he fell on it by accident, threw a punch.
He was turned to wax.
"Easy pickings," scoffed Shakoukai.
Meanwhile, Jadeite was admiring his trophy collection.
Shakoukai added her recent batch.
"Hmmmm," said Jadeite. "This is really coming along! This looks like a 100% completion file on Super Smash Bros. My trophy hoard has all the notable characters."
He in fact had all the Youmas organized in episode order.
"Wait…" said Jadeite. "Which one's on number 12 again?"
That's when Thetis sprinted in.
"Jadeite!" she yelled. "I am sick of this beast hogging all of your attention! It's time to battle for the title of best Youma, Shakoukai! Jadeite's heart will be mine!"
She raised her arms, and summoned two geysers of water out of the abyss.
She then threw them at Shakoukai, but Shakoukai turned them to wax.
Then she turned the rebellious Thetis into wax, in a great pose.
"There we go," said Jadeite, putting her in her place. "That completes the collection. I'm impressed, Shakoukai, that you were thorough enough to even grab those monsters from that house in filler episode 20."
"Yes," said Shakoukai. "That was actually one of my funner grabs, as I never actually watched the episode."
"Me neither," said Jadeite. "I heard the Dark Kingdom did not appear, so I laughed and tossed a skip."
Shakoukai and Jadeite stood there for a long time, six hours in fact, like art students in awe at their first art museum.
"Wow," said Jadeite. "Excellent. We should one day get Season 2."
"Yes, I agree," said Shakoukai. "But it might be a lot more tricky. As long as we catch everyone off guard though, they cannot stop us. I look forward to putting Planet Nemesis as our centerpiece."
"Hey," said Jadeite, as he took another scan through the sculptures. "Something's missing here."
"Impossible," said Shakoukai. "We have everything, and it's arranged in a pattern so we could easily see who is missing if someone was."
Jadeite checked all the spots, and they were all full.
"Hmmm," said Jadeite curiously. "Wait a second," he said.
He turned to Taiki, and saw that a very significant feature was missing.
"Is it me?" said Jadeite. "Or does this Taiki look off? Right above his eyebrows is just a flat top."
Shakoukai scratched her head. "Hmm," she said.
That's when suddenly, out of the blue, Taiki's forehead came flying in.
"NO!" said Jadeite. "We waxed Taiki, but we forgot he and his forehead are separate entities!"
"No!" said Shakoukai. "His forehead was attached when we waxed him! So how is it a free bird now!?"
"Well," said Taiki's forehead, clearing its throat. "Right when the wax came upon my host, I quickly detached from the body at the last second. I laid low until I got the chance to pounce.
Jadeite fired lightning, but the forehead was so shiny it deflected it, and sent it flying back like a mirror.
Jadeite dodged, and Shakoukai fired wax.
T-head dodged the first blow with leaps and bounds, bouncing around like a hot potato, but then he suddenly spun around and threw a headbutt 3 million times faster than the speed of light.
As T-head came straight for her, Shakoukai fired wax, turning the head to nothing but a candle. It was the right shape, too. One of those long candles.
But despite being made of wax, T-head was still flying at Shakoukai at max velocity. It had no control anymore, as it was dead, but that didn't stop its trajectory.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" screamed Shakoukai, as the headbutt collided with her heart, killing her.
"No, Shakoukai!" screamed Jadeite. "Now how will my wax collection be complete!?"
Suddenly, all the wax figures turned back to normal, because for some reason their waxy forms were hooked up to Shakoukai's being, only for plot convenience however so Ami and Makoto who were actually dead were able to come back to life.
"WHAT!?" screamed Jadeite. "This doesn't make sense! You were dead! Every cell in your body, wax! How do your bodies recover from that?"
"Mmmm," said Kunzite, examining his non-waxy arms. "I'm back," he said.
"Kunzite!" said Zoisite. "It was terrible. Right as I was respawned, I faced a waxy demise!"
"GRRRRRR!" said Kunzite, turning to Jadeite.
Nephrite punched his palm. "Now I remember! It was that Jadeite guy! He killed my soda machine!"
The soda machine beeped in anger.
Boxy put on his boxing gloves, and Melvin put on his.
"Siri, attack mode Alpha!" yelled Melvin.
Queen Beryl summoned a giant crystal.
Even Thetis shot water out of the ground and got ready for combat.
"Hey now!" said Jadeite. "100 versus one! Not fair! You were all my puppets! Hahhahaha! While you were wax, I put you on display like a zoo!"
Kenji cracked his belt like a whip, and Shingle and Shangle stacked on top of each other.
Grandpa came riding in on his crows in leaping kick position, and Metalia shot a wave of energy.
Jadeite stuck out his tongue, and took his own life right as 20 punches collided with his corpse.
"No!" said Kunzite. "Now we can't have our revenge!"
Kitakata was still enraged, so he threw a punch at Zoisite, despite his fairy-like appearance.
Kunzite picked up Kitakata's head, and took it off.
He threw the head at Mully, who shrieked in horror.
"Hey!" said Nephrite. "Watch where you throw that, you just traumatized her for life!"
"Sad," said Kunzite.
Just when it had looked like it would break out into a wild brawl with their common enemy Jadeite no more, it did.
Everyone was calm and almost ready to leave, but suddenly another combatant charged Zoisite, this time Motoki's sister. She threw her body like she wasn't even a person, just a projectile.
Kunzite, just to spite her, fired a beam, taking her out as well as Phobos but not Deimos.
Deimos squawked a battle cry, and that's when all hell broke loose.
But that's a story for another day.
All that's known is that nothing can go good when so many people have been dragged together by unexplained circumstances and awakened in some dark space in the Negaverse.
FIN
