Okay, I know it's been while... sorry about that, but I wasn't sure about how to have Abby's aftershock of Amar's death. So, let me know how I did!
I stand up, dropping the blanket. Tears begin forming in my eyes. I hear him reading the note to me, over and over. I miss him so much. Gosh…. why did he have to leave?
Going to the closet, I grad one of Amar's sweaters. I pull it over my head. I can almost feel his arms around me. His scent surrounds me. I walk towards the door, not wanting to get caught up in the moment. I close the door, once I'm out. Tears lightly flow down my face.
I head down the hallway. I'm not sure how long I walked or how far. My tears are falling freely, now. I shake my head. No, I'm not going to cry. I try focusing on something else.
I focus on knowing where his apartment was. I don't remember him taking me to his apartment. So how did I know where it was? I shake my head. Then, I hear Amar's name being screamed. It sounds like chanting. Why are they chanting Amar's name? I run towards the voices.
I find the screaming crowd all: dressed in black, yelling, drinking, and completely going crazy. I want to join them. Drinking is the Dauntless way of having a funeral. Maybe I should join them… I push through the crowd. Multiple bottles get pressed to my hands.
I pass them to other Dauntless. I continue to press through the crowd. A small flask gets pressed to my hand. The alcohol scent doesn't drown the scent of Amar. I want to push him out of my mind, for now, at least. I want to forget about how he just left me here.
Taking a deep breath, I take a sip from the flask. Strong stinging liquid goes down my throat. I swallow all of the substance. It burns as it passes through me. I feel it go down my throat, through my rib cage, down my chest, finally sitting in the pit of my stomach.
How in the world someone can drink regulatory is beyond me. Not knowing what to do with the flask, I finish it. Each slip burns. I hear people shouting Amar's name again. I join them. I punch the air with the other drunken Dauntless. I trade bottles with another Dauntless. I drink bottle after bottle. I feel tears flowing down my face as I scream Amar's name.
I don't shout his name because he's gone and he is somehow a hero; I shout his name because I loved him. I will never find someone like him. I start towards the edge of the crowd. Multiple bottles get passed to my hand. I pass them on. Stumbling, another bottle gets pressed to my hand. This bottle is full, I decide to keep it and take a big swallow. Another burning sensation goes down my throat. I stumble towards the rail. I walk up the side ramp. I catch myself on the wall, constantly. I take large swallows of alcohol as I make my way up the side wall.
By the time I am halfway done with the bottle; I arrive at the rusty rail of the chasm. I lean against it, taking in a large gulp of alcohol. The rail groans from my weight. I stare at the chasm water going everywhere. I hear footsteps behind me. I don't bother to turn around. I speak what it going through my cloudy mind.
"He said he would see me soon." I tell the person behind me. "Do you think he meant when I died?"
"What?" the person behind me asks.
"I said, do you think that he was talking about when I died, he would see me again." I burp. Putting my free hand to my lips I say, "Excuse me." I gradually begin sliding sideways.
Almost instantly, hands grab my shoulders. "Abby!"
I look up at the person. It's Four. "Four! Hi! Oh, why the worried look on your face? Anyway, I miss him. You know that? I loved him sooo much!"
Four's face looks funny. His deep blue eyes are hard as stone. I touch his face with my hand. He is so hott. Why won't a nice girl date him? He seems kind enough, sweet enough. Besides, he is so strong. Although, I'm sure my Amary could have taken him.
Four leads me to the rock wall. Setting me down, Four takes the bottle of alcohol from me.
"Hey!" I protest.
Four chunks the bottle over the railing. I cross my arms and pout. "You don't want that. Trust me."
I look up at Four. He seems to be examining me. I hold his face with both of my hands. Wow, he is hott. I should… no. No, I shouldn't. But he's…. My head spins like a top.
"Four?" I gently pull him closer.
One of my hands floats down to his shirt. Wrapping my hand in the fabric, I pull his closer. "Hmm?" he asks, looking at what my hand is doing.
"Why don't you have a girlfriend?" I ask him. He is so hott and so kissable, right now. I grin as I think of his lips against mine. "I mean, you got the looks, the muscle, the hottness. You have it all."
He takes my hand, making my hand become cold than warm. "I don't know. I'm not really looking for one, right now."
I pull him closer. My face is centimeters away from his, my lips brushing his. "Bummer," I say through lips that are gliding against him. "You should have a line, by now."
He laughs and I smile. Closing my eyes, I pull myself into him. I snake my arms around him. My head is spinning. Each concrete thought is floating off into space. I feel him tense, slowly relax. I'm relaxed fully. Maybe it's from the alcohol, making me dizzy and light. Or maybe it's from Four, being such a tease. He sits, leaning against the wall. He pulls me into his lap. I wrap my legs around his waist. We kiss until our lips are raw, each breathing heavily. This is so much better than the gross drink, I can taste on our lips.
We continue to kiss until Four pushes me away.
"No," he says, trying to catch his breath. "You're just mourning. I miss Amar, too. But this isn't you. Mourn in some other way, please."
I take in a few deep breaths, "Why? I loved him! I just want to take my mind off of Amar. Have a distraction." I go to kiss him, again, but he stops me, shaking his head. I lean onto his chest. "Why," I sob. "Why did the love of my life leave me?" I cry into his chest, calling out his name every few minutes.
Four holds me like a child. He holds me while I cry for Amar. Finally, my voice becomes raw, so I just cry until Four's shirt is covered in my tears. Four carries me to Amar's room, in his arms. I close my eyes as my head begins to pound.
Stupid me, for getting drunk and almost ruining my friendship with Four. Stupid alcohol, for making me drunk. Stupid Amar, for dying on me. Stupid everything!
Four sets me on the bed and wraps me in some blankets, placing a waste basket near the edge of the bed. Before he walks out, I call to him.
"Four?" He turns his head. "Could you stay?" He considers that, for a moment, before nodding..
Getting a blanket and a pillow, he lays a few feet away from me. I try to go into a decent night's rest, but I can't. My stomach begins to reject the alcohol. Reaching for the wastebasket, Four is up and holding my hair out of my face. I spit into the basket and lean on the bed. Four sets the basket downs and leans on the bedside.
"Maybe I should just stay up with you?" Four's soft voice echoes off of the walls. It makes my head spin. "Do you think that will be easier?"
"Yeah," I whisper. "Just please stop talking."
This continues all night. I am never touching that mess again.
Well? Please review and PM me! Love yall bunches!
