Told y'all I'd be back!

I stare at the lady in the bathroom mirror. Her hair, once a golden blonde, is lightened from time in the sun yet somehow darkened underneath. Her face, once young with bright eyes, now has swelled to a circle while her eyes are broken and glassy.

My eyes travel down to her outfit. For two years all she wore was bright colors. Now, she is dressed in a baggy black gown. The dress is ridiculously airy underneath the loosely buckled belt.

I place my hand on the mirror, while she copies the movement. Two years... I've changed so much in two years that I look like a different person. Now I'm going back to Dauntless. I could call it home, but it isn't home.

Not yet anyway.

Looking at my outfit again, I nod my head to myself in the mirror as I walk out of the small bathroom.

Mary leans against the wall of the hallway. "We're going to miss you. Take care, yeah?" The mother suddenly comes over to me and wraps me in her arms. "You'll always have a place here."

I give her a small smile as I take a step away from her and get my bag of clothes, now too small for me, from the couch. If I wanted to wear the shirts again, I could make them into crop-tops. I don't think Eric or Max or Four would be too happy if I waltzed around the compound with my stomach hanging out. Almost as if saying I'm pregnant! Look at me!

The thought makes a small laugh escape from my lips.

No, until the baby is born I'll have to wear baggy gowns. Lucky me. I guess I'll have to go shopping later.

Just as I am about to walk out the door to the truck, a small body wraps around my leg. "Don't go," Lilly hiccups.

A stabbing pain shoots through my heart. Lilly is looking at the floor while squeezing the life out of my leg. She is such a beautiful girl. Energetic, smart, loving, kind... She is all that I want in a child.

I let the bag drop to the floor. "Lilly, look at me." Her eyes shine bright with tears. As gently as I can, I pry her off my leg and ease myself down so I can look her in the eyes. The feeling of forming tears stings my eyes. "You are... such a beautiful girl. You have taught me so much in these last two years. You've taught me how to be kind, how to ride a horse, although it didn't go well, and... and how to be a... a mother! Sweetheart, I love you so much and will miss you every day."

I wrap Lilly in my arms in a tight hug. "We all love you too." She sniffs as she moves away from me. A small hand is placed on my stomach. "Do you..." she starts, "Do you think I could name your baby?"

The question takes me back. If I can't see them anymore, having Lilly name the life growing inside of me would be a way to remember her and her family. Besides, I wouldn't even know of any possible names. "Of course! What do you think?"

The child runs her hand against my stomach for a moment before she looks up at me. "Gabby or Gabe!" She says with her usual smile. "That's what I'm going to name my horse when I get one!"

Her smile is reflected on my face. I nod my head in agreement and grab my bag. Again, the time has come for me to leave. Thankfully this time it is on a much happier note.

I'm naming my child after a horse. Great.

I make my way to the truck. Joanna has agreed to get one of their trucks to drive me practically to the front door.

Climbing in I raise my hand in a wave as we pull away. My heart breaks again. They have been so kind these past two years. It hurts so much to just leave them.

But I have to go.

The drive is long, slow, and quiet. During this drive, all I can think about are the men in Dauntless. I've used them and played with their emotions... for what? Because I was upset over Amar's death?

I can't believe that I used them to forget. My drunken kiss with Four. Using Max to get information about what my Aunt has been doing. And then Eric just can't make up his mind about how he is going to act towards me.

I lean my head against the window of the loud rumbling truck, very thankful that the driver isn't talking my ears off. I just want everything to work out like it should.

With that thought, and a protective hand laid across my stomach, I somehow drift off to sleep.

~~~

Being as sweet as they are and not as curious as Erudite or Candor are, the Amity driver doesn't ask any questions when we arrive at Dauntless. He simply gives me a gentle shake to wake me up after our thirty minute ride. I blink rapidly to find that he parked just a few feet away from the door, leading to the top of the Pit.

Nervously, I thank the driver and lower myself to the ground. With a few shaking steps, I move away from the truck. The driver nods to me and before I realize it, I'm standing all alone in front of the door that will either make me Dauntless again or make me a rejected factionless.

I readjust the bag on my shoulder and reach out to turn the handle to the door when it is snatched open. I stumble backwards as an increasingly irritated Max storms out, almost knocking me down.

"MOVE!" He barks at me. He then goes to mumble something even I can't catch.

Anger bubbles in me. How dare he tell me to move! I stand up to him. "You move! I was about to go inside when you almost knocked me on my tail!"

He must have recognized my voice. Max turns around towards me at an agonizingly slow speed. When his face is met with mine it goes from angry to confused to almost... broken as the anger slowly drains out of him.

With the anger gone, it seems that his energy drains out of him as well as he whispers, "Abby? Is- Is that really you?"

I waddle over to him. "It's really me, Max. A bit different than before, but all me."

Max takes a few tentative steps closer to me before he suddenly sinks to his knees. He reaches out to me, tangles his fingers in the gown I'm wearing and tugs, forcing me to take a step toward him as tears slip down his cheeks.

"Abby! We- We thought you were dead!"

A small smile finds its way on my lips. "Um... surprise?"

I don't know what has happened to Max in these last two years. All I can tell is that these years have not been kind. His body still physically young, but his eyes tired and his body exhausted.

He pressed himself against me, his cheek resting on my stomach as he let's out a shaking sigh. "I've missed you so much. You've, uh, changed."

My fingers glide across his face. "Well, pregnancy will do that to a person. Now," I step back and motion him to get to his feet, "would you mind helping me down to the Pit? I don't really want to fall," I add with a pat to my belly.

Max looks at me with big eyes before shaking his head. "Yeah! Um, let's go!" He quickly stands while wiping his face and the bottoms of his pants. As he opens the door, I hear him mumble, "Eric is going to kill me."

Carefully we decend the stairs. I squeeze Max's hand as I look around while he leads. The place is just the same as it was when I first came here, just the same as it was seven months ago when I ran through these halls.

The life inside me shifts.

It seems so long ago.

Just as it was on the day I first came here, the Pit is swarming with life. People cheering, drinking, and making noise in celebration of the possible new members.

A large smile spreads across my face as I waddle faster down the slope. I've missed this. I've missed this buzz of energy. Amity was too calm, but they were friendly. This energy, this Dauntless energy is reckless and dangerous.

I know what I've missed. I've missed the adrenaline rush just being around these people, my people.

Just as we are about to get to the bottom floor of the Pit, Max moves his hand up to my elbow and drags me into a side room.

I open my mouth to protest when lips press down on mine. The kiss is stupid and reckless. The same kind of kiss that we shared when I stayed in his room and the first night that we kissed when we played Dare.

"Abby, I need you to know something." He pulls away, breathless. "We have missed you so much. By 'we' I mean me and Eric. If you and I walk down that hallway to Eric, he will not only think I hid you away, but he might murder me because of..." He trails off, while gesturing to my stomach. "This. Also, Four wouldn't let us close Amar's room, so you can stay there."

I don't think when I wrap my arms around his neck. I don't think when I give him a light kiss back. I just do it.

"Good luck with that." I mumble. I pull away from him. "The father kind of left me. Stupid one night stand. Now, can we go get something to eat? Kinda eating for two now. And... thank you."

Max looks into my eyes, those dark orbs boring into me for me to see a man so hopelessly in love and in pain. How a man can look at me like that and not be Amar is beyond me. You would think he would want to get away from me after I left him. Yet after two years I am still comparing every man to Amar. The dull pain wraps itself around my heart.

Heck, the only reason I slept with Jim was because he looked so much like Amar. It's wrong, yeah, but I couldn't help it!

Max nods his head and guides me to the cafeteria. Max stays at the door as I move into the crowd. In all the noise and fuss, I walk around the edge of the crowd. In all the controlled chaos I spot Eric sitting next to Four and some fragile young ladies.

Ah, the initiates. They seem scattered and rushed with adrenalin. Is that what I looked like my first day?

Eric hasn't changed. He's added a few tattoos and another piercing, but even from the back I can tell he hasn't changed that much. Judging from Four and Eric's body language, I'd say that they're having a slight disagreement.

Well, that must be my cue to make my entrance.

Walking behind Eric, as I did on day one, I run my hands down his chest. I was wrong. He has changed. Instead of a scrawny boy that could be crushed like a but, he is is now a very strong and well-built man. And he is going to be a force to be reckoned with.

"You know, eventually we have to stop meeting like this. It's becoming our thing. Oh and hand me that hamburger, will you?"

At the sound of my voice, Four and Eric turn towards me. That, of course, causes me to lose my balance. All of my pregnant self falls onto the perfect lap of Eric. Four looks down at me wide eyes, just as Eric places his hand on my lower stomach. I wink at Four. His face is priceless. I'll have to be sure to tell him that later.

I reach across the table and put two slabs of beef and some ketchup onto the plate in front of my very uncomfortable seat. Thankfully my chair doesn't seem to mind.

"Abby?" Eric whispers. His hands wander across the gown I'm wearing. At his touch, he baby shifts. A still-forming elbow runs across my ribs in protest.

"Yeah?" I ask around the double hamburger I have my mouth. I roughly finish the bite. "You know if you went over one seat, I could get off of you."

Eric does as I suggest as he looks at my face. The other initiates must be making their own conclusions about us. But as Eric's eyes roam over my body, I can't say I would disagree with them.

I still wish those eyes belonged to someone else, though. Just as I wish his hands were someone else's.

I finish my burger as that familiar painful vice wraps around my heart. I don't know how I'm supposed to have this child and live here without Amar. Even with his room still open- note to self: thank Four for keeping the room safe for me- I still don't know how I'm going to do this...

Shaking my head, as if shaking the thought out of my brain, I stand. "Eric, would you mind walking me to my dorm? It seems I'm having a bit of difficulty walking nowadays."

Grumbling some choice words, Eric helps me move away from the table.

"See y'all tomorrow." I say as Eric and I leave the cafeteria.

My somewhat of a good mood, however, disappears as Eric and I walk through the crowd, which I notice is parting like the Red Sea. A sickening thought passed through my head: Eric must be a leader, even though he is so young.

As we walk down the corridor to what I hope is Amar's room. I pray that he doesn't cause any harm to me, my baby, or anyone before I can explain.

This is going to be interesting to say the least.

You know what to do.