I have to say, watching the muscles in Eric's arms twitch as he tries to control his temper is funny. It is almost like he wants to hit something but is trying to keep his temper in check. Which would be a first for him.

That is not as funny as when we pass Max to go wherever to find him looking as white as a Candor sheet. Or as halarious as it was to see his eyebrows shoot up when I grab Max's hand as we pass him. Might as well explain to him what happened as well. I don't really want to explain these last two years twice. Besides, now we look like a train. A train going to an unknown place.

Eric leads us down different hallways before he turns on his heel to go the other way. The amount of people we run into are ridiculous. I mean, what part of his bellowing "MOVE! OUT. OF. THE. WAY!" Do they not understand?

We must seem like a very confused train.

After quickly and repeatedly waddling for what seemed like a good ten minutes, I'm pulled into a room. The scent smacks me in the face when I recognize the smell: Amar.

"Four wouldn't let me close the room," Eric spits. He turns around to me, eyes fulls of fire. "Now, you are going to tell me everything."

I blink at him as I yank my arms away from the two men looking at me the same way, with hurt in their eyes with a mix of angry fire.

"Actually, I'm going to sit down. Max?"

Max steps towards me cautiously and leads me to the bed, where he lowers me down to it. The familiar black cotton tangles in my hand. A low thud hits the floor when I realize I had originally still had my bag. The strap follows the bag as I shake it off.

I drape the blanket over my shoulders. Taking a moment to absorb Amar's scent. The dream of him and the fuzzy familiarity of Jim's body dances in my mind. All of these seem so real, but I know what reality is... cruel. Especially at this moment as I look at the two men standing before me. I clear my throat and lean against the headboard. "Now, let's talk."

~~~

I tell them just about everything. I tell them that I was in love with Amar before he died. I tell them I ran away and stayed with a nice family for the two years. I tell them I had a one night stand and am obviously pregnant. Afterwards I twist the engagement ring around my finger nervously waiting for them to say something to this tale.

Watching their faces during this is priceless. They practically mirror each others expressions of hurt and anger to almost an understanding.

Eric is the first one to speak. "We thought you jumped into the chasm or something."

"Abby," Max says as he holds my hand. He's the only one brave enough to touch me, especially in front of Eric. "I would like it if you stayed here."

Eric tenses as he looks between the two of us. Max doesn't care how badly Eric could hurt him. He should, but he doesn't. Instead, all he wants to do is be with me.

So how do I tell them that I am staying, but my heart still belongs to Amar?

"Thank you. That was the plan, of course." I chuckle a bit as I pull my hand away. "Now, not to be rude, but I'm really tired and would like to get some sleep. Wake me up when the initiates start training, please."

Max stands from his previous crouch and with a nod, he leaves. Eric sends me a glare. "I'll be back in the morning with breakfast. You can stay," a muscle twitches in his cheek as he looks around the room, "here if you want."

I would get up and walk him out, but my feet are swollen and I don't want to. Instead I nod to him as he exits the room. When the door closes, I adjust on the bed and let the thoughts of today take me into what I hope will be a good night's sleep.

~

I don't know what pulls me out of sleep more: when I feel the bed dip due to added weight or when I feel the even pressure of familiar lips press to my forehead.

A small gap escapes my lips as I try to sit up. The shadow gently helps me as he slips behind my body just enough to hold me. I can feel every part of his body pressing into me. It's familiar yet new as some parts of him are still hard as stone whereas new places have been replaced with a bit of cushion. All still him.

"Wh-What are you doing here?" I lower my voice.

He runs a finger down my cheek, even with the darkness covering us, I can almost see his incredibly sexy but sad smirk as he whispers, "You needed me."

I turn in his arms as tears slip down my cheeks. Instantly he wipes the tears away and I dip my head into the crook of his neck and sob. "Shhh," his voice washes over me, "no crying. Sleep."

I shake my head as the rush of emotions take over me in the darkness of the room. The empty feeling in my stomach makes me want to throw up, but I don't. I don't even want to move. I just want to stay in his arms and cry.

He pulls away from me, but I know he is looking at me with so much love. His fingers wrap around my left hand as he brings it to his lips. At the touch of his lips on my fingers and his lips making their way up my arm the baby kicks. Going on touch alone, or being the tease he is, his other hand slowly finds it's way to being placed on my stomach.

I can't stand it any longer when I smell him around me. I grab his collar and yank the man towards my lips. The kiss is just as I remember: burning, consuming, pure. I must have taken him by surprise because for a moment he stays where he is. Just as quickly as his shock freezes him, he unfreezes, pushing me back towards the bed which an animalistic hunger. Almost as if he wants me just as much as I want him.

But how can he? He's a dream. But in my dreams, he is very real. Dreams are very imaginative and reality is cruel and hard. In my dreams, he never died.

He pulls away. "Abby," he whispers, "you- you should sleep."

I shake my head. "No."

"Abby-"

"No!" I don't shout the word, but I whisper it and press my forehead to his. "Amar... please, stay."

He presses a kiss to my lips. "I'll stay for tonight. I'll stay while you sleep."

With that, we both adjust in the bed so he can hold me. Somehow, in the darkness of his room and the corners of my mind, I drift off into a deeper sleep listening to his soft, steady, and familiar breathing.