Thank you for your reviews :) It means the world to me.
Regarding the question, who is Bens mom: It's Abby, but she won't play any role in the story. She wasn't able to care for her son, so Jay did.
I hope you will like the upcoming chapter :) Feel free to criticise.
CPDCPDCPDCPDCPDCPD
That night Ben fell asleep in his father's arms.
While the little one had already come to rest, Jay followed his thoughts for a long time. He still proceeded of what had happened.
He had always wanted to protect his boy from such incidents. The shock that he almost lost Ben was correspondingly deep.
At some point, when Jay himself was already drifting into a twilight state, his phone started vibrating. Drowsy, he reached for the device to find that it was only a little after 10 p.m. Last time he went to bed this early must have been years ago. To his surprise, the text came from Hailey.
"I'll come back in ten minutes. Need the files from your trunk. Hailey."
Jay sighed before he put his smartphone back on the nightstand. In all the panic, he had forgotten to give Hailey the documents for the upcoming case, which he had taken home the day before. Carefully Jay put the blanket aside.
A gesture that left his son whimpering softly, who obviously didn't want his father to leave.
"Shhh. . . go back to sleep. It's alright"; Jay spoke softly to the 9-year-old before covering Ben once more, putting his gun in the safe and then sneaking out of the room
Tiredly, he switched on the light in the hallway. Jay paused once more to make sure Ben was still sleeping. When it remained silent, he ran into the living room. Actually he didn't feel like receiving Hailey at this time, but his hands were tied, because she needed the files to research the case at hand.
He went outside to the car. Only shortly after he took the documents from the trunk, she parked next to him. She got out, greeted him with a smile.
"Sorry again, but I'm gonna have to work through the crime scene by tomorrow." Jay handed her the files, then looked up at the apartment building.
"Now that I'm still awake anyway. Sure you don't want to come in for a drink after all that? ; Halstead asked, looking her in the eyes for a long moment. Hailey pushed around at first but in the end she couldn't say no and finally gave in. Jay let her into his apartment, then took a quick look into the bedroom to make sure Ben was still sleeping before returning to the living area.
"Is he asleep?"
"Yes, but he insisted that he could spend the night at my bedroom. He's pretty messed up."
"No wonder, after all he had been through. By the way, Voight told us to tell you to take all the time in the world. He was quite understanding."
Jay shook his head in disbelief.
"It's crazy. I mean, they were just kids. You send them to school, think they are in a safe place and then something like this happens. And the politicians and the gun bosses just carry on as if nothing had happened."
"I haven't figured it out either."
"I always see the parents in front of me who find out that their child is not coming home anymore. Oscar Dale was in Ben's class. The shooter hit him just from behind."
"Have you ever thought about signing Ben up for therapy or having him talk to a psychologist?"; Hailey asked quietly.
Jay sighed heavily as he told Hailey to come to the sitting area because he wanted to pour her a glass of Scotch.
"Frankly, I'm glad if he talks at all. He's pretty withdrawn and very quiet. I wanted to give it a couple of days and if nothing changes then ask Will for an appointment with Dr. Charles. I've only heard good things about him."
"I don't know about Ben, but everyday things helped me back then. Baking cookies with my mom or helping her out."
Suspiciously Jay put his glass on the table. He looked at her questioningly. The blonde police woman understood immediately.
"Didn't I ever tell you about this?"
"No."
Jay shook his head.
"My dad had a restaurant. When I was 12, we got mugged there. The killer broke my father's eye socket, so he had been stitched with 96 stitches. The offender put a gun to my head and stole the night receipts, and just all for $272. 57."
Jay looked at Hailey in shock.
For a long moment his mouth remained open.
"I didn't know."
She made a wry grimace to cover her emotions, raised and lowered her shoulders. She couldn't get any more than that anyway, because they heard footsteps, paired with a restless whimper. Reflexively, Jay and Hailey looked in the direction from which the noises had come and saw none other than Ben, clutching his teddy bear and looking unhappily at his father.
"Daddy, you weren't there anymore,"; the 9 year old whined, which is why Jay stretched out his arms.
"Hey, come here, buddy."
Uncertainly Ben approached, looking interested at Hailey. Jay took him on his lap where he snuggled up against his father.
"Look who's here,"; he made a suggestive head movement in Hailey's direction, smiling at the boy.
"Hailey brought you something. We're gonna play with it tomorrow."
Jay handed his son the Lego set that he had put on the couch. When Ben got his hands on the box, he grinned broadly, but quickly became serious again.
"Will you really stay with me then?"; the little boy glanced at his father in excitement.
Halstead looked compassionately at his son, ran his hand through his hair.
"Well, sure. I've promised."
He looked at the toy, smiled sadly.
"Thank you,";Ben peeped softly
Silently Hailey reached for a blanket, which she laid over the two of them. She smiled when she realized how Ben leaned against his father, seeking for protection.
"I think I'd better go now. Your little one needs you now,"; Hailey wanted to get up. To their surprise, Ben was the one who saw things differently and took her hand.
"Can't you stay a little longer? Two cops can protect me better then one, right?"
Jay, who had to smile at the words of his boy, looked at Hailey in a meaningful way. Ben had reached out his little hand to her, held her tight.
"Sure. If that's what you want,"; she whispered softly. The 9 year old turned his face towards his dad's chest. Thoughtfully, Hailey watched as Jay stroked his son constantly across his forehead until the little one fell asleep. Concerned, Halstead looked at his girlfriend, who reflected his face expression.
"I don't know if I could have survived if something happened to him there", he said with a shaking voice.
"Hey", she whispered.
Hailey stood up, sat down next to him and Ben, who was still lying in his arms.
"Jay, don't do this to yourself. Stop beating yourself up. We did everything we could to get the kids out in time."
He tried to smile despite his tears. Hailey grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
"Back when Ben was little, I never thought I'd ever fit in as a father. I was completely overwhelmed, I even thought about giving him to Abbys aunt. An now it makes me sick to think what it would be like if he was gone."
Hailey leaned against Jay's shoulder. Sadly, she looked at the little boy who had snuggled up against Jay's chest.
"He'll get over it. But that takes time, and most of all it takes you. "
Jay knew what she was thinking. Thoughtfully, his gaze drifted to the window before he gave Hailey a long kiss. . .
