Smoke drifted through the air of the old castle chamber. Daylight pierced through the thin curtains of the window. The sunlight and smoke merged together. Yellow wafts fumed and curled; the ultimate goal was to slither its way to the ceiling and throughout the whole room.
A woman sat on the small bed in the corner. The smoke polluting the air originated from the cigarette in her left hand. She was curled into a ball on the vertex of the wall beside the bed. She rested her forehead atop of her knees. Her long, dark brown ringlets draped around her body. She lifted her head only enough to inhale a drag from the Maverick cigarette's filter. The woman flicked the excess ash into the glass topper of a candle - her makeshift ashtray. The woman began to slightly rock on her haunches. Her lips moved as she whispered. She sang.
"Here in the darkness I know myself. Can't break free until I let it go."
Another inhale of the stinging smoke.
"Darling, I forgive you. After all, anything is better than to be alone. And in the end I guess I had to fall. Always find my place among the ashes."
A white-based calico cat jumped onto the mattress. The animal walked over to the woman in confidence to ask for her attention. The cat sat directly beside the woman and stared up at her owner. She meowed. The woman reached out to the cat and petted the top of her head - caressing the animal's ears. The cat purred. She rubbed her head against the human's hand in content. The cat rubbed the whole side of her body against the woman's arm as the petting session continued. Then, the attention stopped. The woman's right hand went limp; her left brought the cigarette to her mouth again. The cat meowed to the human in an attempt to alert her of her remaining presence. Her voice was not heard.
"I can't hold on to me. Wonder what's wrong with me." The woman continued her singing. Her voice grew in volume. The emotions of the lyrics overtook her as she belted her heart out.
"Lithium," her voice went back to a whispering alto. "Don't wanna lock me up inside."
Her volume grew again, "Lithium." Back down to the whisper. "Don't wanna forget how it feels without Lithium. I want to stay in love with my sorrow."
The calico tilted one ear to the side in annoyance of being ignored. What possessed humans to want to carry their voices like this?
The animal tried once again to get the woman's attention. Absentmindedly, the woman dropped her right arm to pet the cat again. She purred in happiness.
"Beatrice, do you think that he means to do this to me? Do you believe he is capable of seeing me as anything other than what I was?"
The cat didn't so much as meow in response. Instead, the calico groomed her paw; it was as though the cat really could care less about her owner's predicament. And why should she? She gets meals everyday. All she has to do is eat and sleep…
Beatrice looked up at her owner from her grooming and churred. The little noise got her owner's attention. The cat walked over to the book that the human had been reading for the past week. She sat on its cover. The woman stared at the cat. Was she trying to tell her something?
Of course she was! That cat was smarter than she gave her credit for.
She needed to be like the main character in the book - she needed to be strong; to be coy; to be brave; to be what she had been portraying all of her life. She needed to be subtle, yet ruthless.
The woman got off of the bed and walked over to Beatrice and picked her up in her arms. She laid down onto the bed with the cat placed on top of her chest. She gave the cat the attention that she had been begging for for the past ten minutes. The woman gave the cat affection until the cat was happily contented with the attention.
Lithium… stay in love with you.
I'm gonna let it go.
The human put the cat back down onto the bed and opened the wardrobe across the room with the wave of her hand. Her fingers played a "come-hither" motion. A set of black robes levitated toward the witch.
She had a tutoring session to attend to. She was not going to be late - again.
Agnes believed that the tutoring session with Juno had went well. The girl's marks in Magical Theory had improved a great deal. She was happy that she could help a young, promising student understand the beauty of Magical Theory. Alas, she must now focus on the task at hand; it was her turn, yet again, to patrol the halls of Hogwarts.
In the earlier part of the term, Agnes had been more thorough in her patrol; but as of late, she had mainly stuck to the dungeons. There usually wasn't any students out and about, anyway. Either way, Agnes had been feeling anxious about the nights she was scheduled for patrol. Usually I run in to him…
It was as If he purposely seeked her. Knowing Severus Snape, he probably did just that.
As usual, the corridors were empty. Agnes slowly crept in the dungeons' empty halls. She debated going back to her chambers to retrieve this device the muggles called a Walkman. Some music should pass the time. Though it would be muggle music, it was still music nonetheless.
Agnes reached the end of the corridor she was currently patrolling. She peered around the corner. There was nothing there; neither to the left, nor the right. Absolutely nothing. Agnes saw it as a better time than any to retrieve the Walkman. She turned the opposite way toward the direction of her private chambers. There was another person there! Agnes took a quick step back as she gasped. She placed her palm against her chest in an effort to regain her composure. Thanks to the lumos light from her wand, Agnes was able to look up into the dark eyes before her.
"Out sneaking about, are we?"
Agnes sighed. She should have expected as such. "I'm not a student, Severus."
A shadow of a smile played on his lips. "That isn't what you believed the other evening."
Agnes' eyes narrowed. Really? He really went there?
"Haha, silly me," Agnes' voice was thick with sarcasm. "If you must know Professor, tonight I am scheduled to patrol. As I am sure you are as well."
Severus said nothing. Or maybe, Agnes thought, he just doesn't sleep well. It would explain why he was always about when she was patrolling. She could see the anguish in his eyes. He hid it well, though Agnes could see right through it. She was thankful that Severus had no idea how well she really knew him. She could never tell him the full scale picture. It had to stay her secret.
"Well, then," he spoke. "I wouldn't want to keep you from your... duties."
Agnes didn't know what to say. He was letting her go? ... Willingly? Agnes' brow furrowed as she struggled to comprehend the purpose of Severus' actions. Perhaps Dumbledore had a talk with him...
Hesitant, Agnes continued on her way to her private chambers. A hand gripped her wrist. The momentum turned her to face Severus. She unintentionally looked him in the eye. Her own eyes widened as the visions enveloped her.
It was nightfall. I was running through a grassy field. Fire burned the crops in the field a good distance away. It's easier to run. The pleading and screaming echoed in my ears. Those screams came from the voices I had known all my life. Tears stung at my eyes. It was just the smoke... I fled to go to a better place. I needed to get somewhere safer. I needed to get away.
I found an abandoned stable a ways off. I sat in the upper chamber in a corner next to the window. They were dead. All of them. The stinging tears won the battle of the wills. They smoothly cascaded down my cheeks. I guess it wasn't the fire or the smoke.
"If I could change, I would, " I whispered. "Take back all the pain, I would." A whisper was all that I could muster. "If I could stand up and take the blame, I would. If I could retrace every wrong move I made, I would. If I could take all the shame to the grave, I would."
The tears continued to plague me no matter how hard I tried to stop them. I continued to cry. Outside, if I had looked out the window, I would have seen the Dark Mark forming in the clouds.
Agnes gasped as they came back to the present moment. Her skin had a thin coat of sweat. The smell of the smoke refilled her nostrils. Agnes' eyes narrowed as she regarded Severus. "What was it I told you about sticking your nose in other people's business? You had no right to see those things!"
"Just as you had no right those years ago at Hogwarts in these very dungeons," Severus sneered.
Agnes straightened her posture. "I had never intended to hurt you, nor to have you find out you were being watched. I had accidentally stumbled upon you; at that time, I was not aware that it was, indeed, you."
Severus' body stiffened. So, he had given his own secret away? No, she sought after him. The memory proved it. She was lying, but he'd play along. "How do I know that you haven't stalked me any other times?" Severus crossed his arms over his chest.
"Because I did not," Agnes answered. "I had better things to do than to spy on a fellow-"
Agnes' eyes darkened as she smiled. "Oh, that's right. You have no room to judge me, do you, Snape?" Her head tilted to the side.
Severus remained silent. His visage revealed nothing.
"Well, then," Agnes turned in the direction of her private chambers. "If you'll excuse me, kindly, Snape, I'll be on my way." Agnes began to walk. Her wand was held level with her head as it casted lumos. She had just exited the corridor and was entering another.
Her head made contact with one side of the wall. Her vision was temporarily blurred. Her attacker roughly turned her around to face them. Damn Snape.
"Do. It."
Agnes scowled in annoyance. "What makes you think that I'll tell anyone anything? Let go of me!"
"Just confess, woman!" Severus yelled as he struggled to effectively keep her still.
"I have nothing to confess!"
Severus grimaced as his arm muscles flexed to keep the witch in the same spot.
"Yes, Severus, I know. I deserve torment. You've made that very clear since I had arrived."
Severus' grip on her shoulders tightened. Agnes winced, but refused to cry out in pain. "Confess!"
Agnes dropped her arms and ceased her struggling. She stared up into Severus' face. Severus stiffened and stilled. What was she scheming, now? Neither of them said a word. The two of them stood there in silence staring at one another. Severus loosened his grip. Had she gone catatonic like that one day...?
Agnes pressed her palms on both sides of his face. She held him in place as she leaned forward to press her lips to his. Severus' eyes widened. He couldn't move away, for if he did, Agnes would fall forward and the position would become... worse. Severus could only stand there and take it. Eventually, Agnes had had enough. She pulled away from Severus. She turned in the direction she had been going and went on her way to her private chambers.
Severus could only stare in confusion. The bloody hell was that about? Snogging him like that. Severus didn't believe he would ever understand that woman. Pitter-patter of little footsteps from a Gryffindor first year came from behind, but Snape didn't hear the student approaching. "Um... Pr-Professor?"
Severus whipped around. Had he seen...? The student was probably lost. Gryffindors had no business wandering about in the dungeons. Severus gripped the student's wrist loosely as he escorted him back to the Gryffindor Common Room entrance. "Ten points from Gryffindor for being out after curfew."
Agnes sat in the fetal position on her bed. Her back was against the wall, and she had a bottle of pink moscato wine in her hand. She was well into the bottle. This was Agnes' sixth time refilling it. She took a sip from the bottle, then lit a muggle-made cigarette.
Does he even notice my feelings for him? Will he see how much he means to me? No, I think not. It was never to
Hello. I apologize for not updating in a while. It was due to a combination of life and procrastination. I am back now, though. Unfortunately, I do not know when the next chapter will be. I have to make the chapter outlines for the next 4-6 chapters.
I completely went off the outline toward the end of this chapter.
Now, I have a question for you. I meant to ask this in the last chapter, but I forgot.
Agnes Blackwood has secrets. What do YOU think her secrets are?
I would love to hear from you guys. I want see if I'm dropping enough hints. ;)
And the lyrics that Agnes sings at the beginning of this chapter is from Lithium by Evanescence.
Evanescence references fit this story well (at least I think so).
~ DJ-Kyoto
