Reaper was lounging in a corner of their brand new kitchen, well above the floor and out of the way of his datemates as they bustled about the kitchen. And if that happened to put him within easy reach of all the cookies still out on cooling racks… well, it's not like he's been scolded for it yet. Geno was following along some sort of video tutorial, a pair of wireless headphones over his ear holes as he squinted at his phone screen in concentration. Cider was reading out of a cookbook, also squinting. Huh. Maybe Reaper should take them to see an eye doctor.

The doorbell rang, both twins jumped and cursed lightly. "they're already here?" Geno asked in a mild panic.

"relax," Reaper said even as he drifted over the counter between the kitchen and living room, it's probably just the first guest, and most everything's done already."

"WAR! KNOWLEDGE! SO GOOD OF YOU TO COME!"

"see? just war and knowledge," Reaper reassured, secure in the knowledge they had nothing to worry about.

"the dips aren't done yet and we still have to plate half of this up!" Cider warbled in a panic.

"hey now, it's okay," Reaper said as he reached out for his darlings, "war's always early to everything. i think she thinks she has to help set up? and respite's going to take them on a tour anyway, we still have some time." That helped, but both looked on the verge of sliding right back into Panicville, population 2. "how about i help get the stuff that's ready out while you two finish these up?"

"start with the drinks," Geno ordered sharply. "snacks can be a little late if everyone has a drink."

"great idea," Reaper replied cheerfully. While the twins got back to their preparations Reaper shortcut the three feet over to the fridge and pulled out the various MTT brand soda cans, spider cider bottles, and even several sea teas Geno had insisted Reaper go buy for the party. It seemed he didn't want any punch bowls, which honestly: fair.

The two mismatched dinner tables had been put end to end in the living room just for this event. Reaper laid out all the drinks, the residual cold magic of the fridge would keep them chilled until well, well past the party, so clunky containers of ice weren't on the supply list. Then as promised he grabbed plates and started piling cookies onto them, then after those he started plating up the various finger foods his datemates had made. Most were the same recipes as their last picnic (oh! Reaper could totally take his datemates on a real picnic, he was so going to do that ). By then the doorbell rang again. Respite was still upstairs so Reaper had to answer it this time.

"Hello," a rather familiar lion said from the doorstep.

"hey, josh. c'mon in." Reaper let the carpenter in, along with everyone else who'd worked on the house. "connie, mario, electra, thank you all for coming."

"We wouldn't miss this for the world," Connie said eagerly. "Oh! Are those snacks?"

"yup," Reaper said proudly as he followed the small group over to the tables. "cider and geno should be finishing up with the chips and dip soon, and then we're all set to go."

"Speaking of," Connie motioned for Reaper to follow her across the living room, back to the entryway where they were pretty far from both the snack tables and the kitchen. "They must be really young gods to not even know who anyone is yet, you cradle robber, you."

"uh…" Reaper had absolutely no idea how to react to that.

"Don't worry, I'm not here to judge. I know a lot of new gods have popped up since this whole multi-verse mess started, I'm just surprised no one's talking about them yet, you'd think new Death gods would be all over the gossip."

"they're not," Reaper said weakly.

"Oh? I guess I just assumed with their eyes," Connie shook her head, "Never mind. I suppose what they're gods of doesn't really matter."

"they're not gods," Reaper corrected a bit more strongly this time.

"Oh." Connie's mouth made a strange O with her buck teeth in the middle of it. "I suppose they're guardians or something… right? They're not mortals?"

"connie, i'm the embodiment of death, mortals don't survive my touch."

"Right, right. Well anyway, I said I'm not here to judge. They're adults right? Good, that's good. I hope the three of you are happy together." Connie gave him a quick clap on the back, flinched, then went to go join the others milling around the snack table.

Reaper was stunned, he knew the twins weren't exactly mortal anymore, but to be mistaken for gods? That was really, really weird.

Boots stomping down the stairs shook Reaper from his reverie. Geno and Cider were bringing out the chips (store bought) and dips (homemade), and the doorbell rang again. Reaper was right there, so he really didn't have an excuse not to open it. Gossip and Rumor stood on the doorstep.

"Like, omigod! Are you really having a party?!"

"Thank you for like, inviting us and stuff." Both gods giggled as Reaper motioned them in.

"snacks right over there, along with the build crew."

"Snacks? That's like, wicked cool."

Reaper barely got the door closed before there was another knock. Looked like he was going to be stuck on door duty until the stream of guests died down. This time it was Error, he just barged past Reaper, shoved something shoddily wrapped at Cider, then headed straight for the snack table. Reaper hoped he doesn't clean this one out like he did yesterday's, everyone deserved to taste his datemates' amazing cooking.

Respite happily took Gossip and Rumor on a tour, Error and the twins trailing after him at a slower pace. The doorbell rang again.

"HELLO!" Blue greeted excitedly, Ink and Dream standing on either side while Stretch hovered behind his shoulder.

"hey," Reaper said back as he stepped far, far to the side to let the group in. Blue and Stretch were both mortals after all.

"WE COME BEARING GIFTS!" Blue announced enthusiastically, holding up a stack of four boxes wrapped in brightly colored paper. Dream held up a shiny paper gift bag with cheerful yellow tissue paper sticking out. Ink just grinned at them with empty hands.

"Ink apologizes for forgetting his gift," Dream said in embarrassment.

"I'll paint you a portrait or something."

"it's fine. though a portrait does sound pretty cool." Reaper motioned to the two coffee tables, also pushed off to the side of the room. "go ahead and just leave them there, snacks are over there. right now geno and cider ar-"

"ERROR!"

Reaper and Dream all startled at Blue's excited shout. He was waving up at the second floor, where Error was leaning against the railing to look down at the other guests. "no fighting inside the house," Reaper reminded them all.

"Don't worry, we aren't going to start anything," Dream promised.

Blue bounced in place as he continued to wave eagerly up at Error, a bright grin on his face. Error rolled his eyes and finally raised a hand to wave back.

Cider and Geno waved down at their guests as well, then motioned for Error to follow them further into the house. Blue was already excitedly bouncing over to the snack table where the other guests had gathered and started introducing himself. The doorbell rang again, so Reaper went to answer it.

"You did not ask who is there," Life accused with a wide grin.

"you didn't say knock knock," Reaper shot back as he let her in.

She held up a basket overflowing with fruits and vegetables, likely picked fresh from her garden. "I wanted to thank you and your brother for your kind gifts, and also give you a little something to warm your new home."

"those look like they need to be chilled rather than warmed."

"Only until one of your two datemates decides to bake them into something."

"yeah, aren't they the best? oh, here, we should probably put them in the kitchen."

"That does sound like the best place for these."

The other gods present all stared as Reaper led Life into the kitchen, and like the lady she was Life ignored them. "so here's the kitchen, you can just leave them on the island."

Life set the fruit basket down, then went prowling about the kitchen. "It is lovely, so modern!"

"yeah, i may have gone overboard on buying kitchen gadgets for geno back when i first found out he liked baking. heh, most of it's from outertale since they have the most advanced technology."

"I would not have guessed," Life said with a smirk as she ran a hand over the face of the star themed microwave.

"only the best for my datemates. "

She took another quick stroll around the kitchen, then spun to face Reaper, "Well this has certainly been a nice start to the tour, will you show me the rest of the house now?"

"uuuuuuuuuuh… ok." Reaper supposed it made sense, Respite would happily show her around but of everyone here she was really only Reaper's friend. And in all honesty Reaper was glad for a chance to get away from the growing crowd. "so this is the dining room and through that door is the backyard, it's really just a deck so far. we might put in a pool since we can't really do any landscaping. respite did suggest doing one of those rock gardens."

"Is that a hammock I see?"

"oh yeah, and that. it's pretty nice for napping, i'm sure it'll only be improved by sunlight."

"You know I have been meaning to get one myself, I have more than enough trees for one."

"i can vouch for one made of canvas, the ones made of netting less so. anyway, through here is the uh… well connie called it the "family room" but really it seems to just be a smaller living room with a fireplace," Reaper continued as he led her around the ground floor. He even showed her the laundry room! Then up to the second floor where, like the glitches before them, they stopped to look into the living room below.

"It is an interesting choice," Life commented.

"connie said vaulted ceilings are in, though i think she just really wanted a slanted ceiling." Reaper motioned to where the living room ceiling sloped up towards them.

"It sounds as though you gave her plenty of free reign on the plans."

Reaper shrugged, "she knows more about architecture than any of us." Reaper continued the tour, pointing out Papyrus's rooms, poked their heads into the guest room, and led her through the mostly empty library and even out onto the still empty balcony it opened onto. They nearly had an accident on the stairs, fortunately they heard Respite's, Gossip's, and Rumor's loud voices as they went down the stairs, the two groups waved in passing.

Up on the third floor Reaper took her through the master suite, including the huge bathroom Connie and Mario had worked so hard on for his darling datemates. The other rooms on the floor were the three "home offices" for the trio to split among them. "i have a feeling cider and geno are going to share their rooms, but at least they'll still have two rooms so when they want to be alone they don't have to be in the same room."

"It is good to have a little space all to yourself, I am sure the three of you will appreciate the extra rooms when you need them."

"you think so? i think i'll be too busy to use mine much, but geno and cider insisted that if i didn't have one then they wouldn't either."

"They both care about you very much."

"yeah, they really do. i care about them too."

"Just a little," Life teased while looking around the house he had built just for them.

"only enough that i'd do just about anything for them. oh, you wanna see the stargazing platform on the roof?"

"Of course, I demand nothing but a complete tour."

"you know why you can't trust stairs?"

"No, why can I not trust stairs?"

"because they're always up to something." They both laughed as they climbed up the final flight of stairs. Out on the roof he showed her the two lawn chairs (previously on the sidelines while Connie and her friends built the house, and previously previously sitting on a fake beach in the Save Screen) and talked about how they wanted to get more lawn furniture up here and some telescopes to be kept somewhere safer than the roof.

"I cannot help but notice the sheer number of porches, decks, and balconies this house has.

"they were all connie's suggestions."

"And yet you approved them."

"what can i say? after living under a mountain their whole lives geno and cider were excited about spending as much time out in the sun as possible."

"Have you taken them stargazing yet?"

"the very first night after they recovered we sat on the roof of the old house and watched the sun set and the stars come out."

"How wonderful! Dear boys deserve to be happy after all they have been through."

"i'm doing my best to make it happen." They both smiled and lapsed into silence, leaning against the rail and looking out over the dead forest that in the distance gave way to living trees swathing mountain sides. "so, shall we go back down to the party?"

"Yes, I am looking forward to sampling your datemates' cooking."

Reaper pulled them through a shortcut into the kitchen. A few more gods and mortals had arrived, enough guests that they had actually spilled out into the dining room so they could all chat in small clumps. Life and Reaper hung back a little, leaning on the counter that divided the kitchen and living room as they just watched the others mingle. Papyrus seemed to be gathering another group for a tour, Geno was chatting with Edge, and Cider was chatting with Dream, Connie, and Electra.

"so how did you make them immortal," Reaper finally asked.

"A lady does not share her secrets," Life replied with a wink.

"fair enough. i just can't help being curious, their timers are still there but they aren't counting down to anything."

"So their timers are stopped?"

"no, they're…" Reaper never knew how to describe the timers to anyone else, they weren't actually visible, not like souls or the bodies around them, he "saw" them through magic. How do you describe how scent looks to someone unable to smell or taste? "let's say they look like egg timers."

Life tittered, then composed herself, "Go on."

"well…" his eyes drifted over the crowd. "take the stars for example," Reaper said as he pointed out Dream. "dream never had a timer, apparently being a guardian is a lot like being a god. ink's timer… hey, where is ink?" They both looked around, but neither of them spotted him anywhere among the other guests. "welp, either there was some au emergency or we're going to find a few murals around the house. anyway, his timer was never finished so it never started. blue's timer," he pointed at where Blue was hanging out with Sci and Red, the three of them seemed to be giggling, "is just fine, ticking steadily away, driven by the weight of his own mortality like a swinging pendulum."

"An egg timer with a pendulum," Life asked with a grin.

"shush, it's all time anyway. and error over there," Reaper pointed to where Error was methodically tearing up napkins, "his timer has come loose. it's just kind of spinning freely and uh… uneven i guess? it's got a wobble?"

"Like a spinning arrow for a children's board game?"

"yeah, that works. but cider and geno have regular looking egg timers that are ticking away but they don't have any weight to them, not like blue or sci over there. it's like… it's like an egg timer that has already gone past where it should have stopped but it just kept going."

"And what does an Amalgamate's timer look like?"

"like someone jammed a bunch of egg timers through each other and they're all still running anyway, but them all occupying the same space seems to have turned them into some kind of perpetual… oh."

"Have you considered that their current state is not entirely my doing?"

"they both shot themselves full of enough dt to start melting them even without dying." Even Undyne didn't have that much DT, not melting until she was already dying. "but for undyne the timer didn't just keep going, it slowed way down while she was fighting."

"Your datemates are not Undyne, it stands to reason that such a unique case would result in a unique change to their egg timers."

"you said not entirely your doing, does that mean you did do something?"

"Well, I am not saying I did, but I will point out that I have created immortal life before."

"thanks for not bringing mercy, by the way."

"They are sad, but they understand your concerns. Also I promised to bring them back some treats."

"sure, how about we put together a little goodie baggie? i'm pretty sure either error or jerry will clean out any left overs by the end of the party."

"What? Jerry?" Life stood rigid and looked around frantically. "When did he get here?"

"no idea, but you know how jerry is: he just shows up. uninvited."

"Mmmm… let us go ahead and put together that baggie for Mercy."


Does Blue have a bottle of hard whiskey in his inventory? Of course not! How dare you even suggest such a thing! (It's a bottle of vodka since he wasn't sure what kind of drinks would be out. He's a little disappointed he didn't get to use it, but he's very proud Geno learned from the past).