(A/N) I now present you with a few thousand words of Emiya throwing different shits at the wall until one of them sticks.
I mean, chapter five.
Honestly, I'm expecting polarizing responses for this one. Keep in mind the reactions of other characters are presented exclusively by how Shirou interprets them.
On a side note, I revisited part of the Heaven's Feel VN route before writing this. I completely forgot how much of Shirou's hatred for Zouken in internalized.
Now, to address the issue of Archer's familiarity with guns. Characters such as Emiya alter and Nameless Archer definitely can and have used them, but then again, they're entirely unrelated to FSN's Archer.
In the case of Nameless archer, they simply share a face. The "Shirou" that he was before death lived a life completely removed from any version of Shirou that we know. On the other hand, Emiya alter is just...
Urgh.
I'm sorry. Nasuverse lore is bad enough on its own, but I'm not Big Brain enough for Extra. It's convoluted as all hell.
I will pretend that it doesn't exist for the sake of my own mental health. That includes both Nameless Archer and whatever the fuck Kiara has to do with Emiya Alter.
Urgh. x2
Unrelated, but is anyone else super excited for Bleach's comeback + Burn the Witch? I know I am. I was thinking of posting the Bleach fic that served as a semi-prototype for this story, but I decided against that because I don't hate myself enough to juggle another fic.
Of course, if you think otherwise and that I should, in fact, put up story number 5, let me know.
I'll consider it.
I'll say one last time that I don't have a beta reader, so if anything is out of place or just seems wrong, I'm sorry. I did my best. Let me know and I'll try to fix it if I can.
But yeah, enjoy the chapter, and I apologize for the stupidly long A/N.
X
My nostrils flared.
I hated this place. I hated this place so much.
I adjusted the awkward grip I had on my charge. I tried my best to not shake Sakura too much on the way over, but my lesser stature didn't make it easy.
Her heartbeat was heavy against my shoulder. Things could get worse at this rate.
Damnit! The worm thought he had it all figured out, did he? I wouldn't let things go his way. He wouldn't think that I'd go to him for help, but lo and behold.
Still…
The bastard could do a good job, but it would be patch-work at best. This wasn't his specialty, and he wouldn't be able to deal with the "heart" of the problem.
If I wanted to find someone who could come up with a more permanent workaround, I'd have to–
I shook my head. There would be no point in me getting ahead of myself. Even if by some miracle I found that woman, I didn't have the means to secure her assistance.
Yet.
I braced and kicked the church doors open. Though I could tell myself that I'd be more gentle with them given I had my hands freed, it would be a lie.
"Hm?"
The man I was looking for turned around with a start but otherwise did a good job of acting like my unexpected visit didn't come as a surprise. "How can I help you, boy?"
"Help her," was all I said. Nothing else needed to be said.
Kotomine was someone that I've hated since the moment I met him– that much I could say with all certainty. Despite this, I could acknowledge that he was reliable.
Not trustworthy, but definitely reliable.
I could rely on him wanting to screw Zouken over just as much as I did, or at least wanting to see me agonize over it if that didn't work.
He took her from me gingerly, laying her on a pew.
"Tell me, young man. What misfortune brings you to me on this day?" he asked with faked concern, idly tilting the girl's head to the side in a mockery of a physical examination. I didn't doubt for a second that he knew why I was here, nor did I think that he didn't know who's "granddaughter" this was.
"Take as many of that thing's familiars out of her as you can," I requested firmly.
"Oh?"
Rather than be offended by the tall order, he looked rather amused. He quickly discarded any pretense of being a regular neighborhood clergyman, or that he didn't know exactly what vile affliction ailed Sakura. "Tell me, boy. Assuming I do have the means to do so, it won't be an easy task. What would make this worth my while?"
He had every reason to do it, but he wouldn't tell me that. He was messing with me. He wanted to see me squirm.
"Help me, and I will promise you that Matou Zouken will die."
A hatred swelled within me once the name left my lips. It filled my being in a way that I couldn't remember feeling during my eternal servitude as a Counter Guardian.
It was a vulnerable and insufferably human hatred, I came to accept.
Kotomine's face was grim, though his eyes shone with the childlike excitement of someone watching an exhilarating play unravel before their eyes. "Do you, now? How might you accomplish such a feat, if I may ask? I would have erased that blight from this world long ago, were I able to do so."
His doubt was understandable. In his eyes, I was nothing more than a boy who still hadn't hit his growth spurt.
I would enlighten him, then.
I stared at him with an intent cultivated and hardened by an eternity filled with nothing but conflict. A mere child could never sport that look– neither could a grown man, for that matter. A regular human being could never experience my lifetime in theirs.
It was written in the very laws of our world. Mine was the gaze of he who was seen the most, and of he who would perceive the most as well.
Kotomine Kirei's eyes widened as they met mine.
He understood now, then, that I wasn't "just a child." My glare emoted an intent that transcended empty boasts.
…No, that must have only been part of it.
It was as my vision changed that I began to understand something of my own at the same time as him. It was sharper, and every movement in my line of sight was evaluated differently than it was before.
…That wasn't quite it. My vision didn't so much change is it did become again what it once was.
It was almost an amendment on the part of the laws that govern us: if the eyes have seen a thousand battles, then it would persist that the man, too, has seen the same.
Were I a servant or a heroic spirit, it would be dubbed the True Eye of the Mind.
As it stood, I was nothing more than a human. My now-silver eyes were simply an anomaly.
The man stared back at me for a while longer, likely coming to his own conclusions. Eventually, he relented. With hands raised far above his head in a sudden burst of theatrics, he spoke, "I see! I cannot claim to know who you are, young man, but neither can I claim to know the extent of your abilities. Rejoice, then, for I will grant your wish in exchange for your pledge."
This would do.
X
I saw the sky darken from the church window as I waited for the bastard to finish dealing with the even bigger bastard's little monstrosities.
I wondered if Kiritsugu was expecting me to be back by now.
"You'd be better served to put her out of her misery, you know," spoke a disembodied voice.
I didn't look away from the glass. I already knew who I was speaking to, after all.
"Why do you say that?" I humoured him.
"It's only a matter of time before 'she' becomes an 'it'. It would be inhumane to let it progress to that point, wouldn't it?"
My shoulders dropped– the only leftover of my held-back sigh of annoyance. Kirei might have been a bad man, but he'd never measure up to be as much of an annoying prick as this guy.
I gave in and turned to face the blonde. "The only reason I'm here is so that it doesn't progress to that point."
He smiled at me –sneered condescendingly, pardon– and poured wine into a chalice of some kind. "How amusing… that you find such a miserable creature to be worth saving."
"What difference does it make to you?"
The narrowing of the eyes told me he didn't like the tone I took with him, although he moved past it with a scoff. "None at all. A passing curiosity on my part."
My response was nonverbal. I grunted and went back to staring out the window.
"…"
How long did this operation take, anyway?
"So… a hero complex, is it?"
My head whipped back to him. "I thought you said you didn't care."
"I don't, really. That, you can believe." He chuckled then sipped from the chalice. "Only, I find myself needing to ask... An ignorant creature you may be, but surely you must know that you'll need to sacrifice much more than anything you'll get in return for your efforts. Do you seek to nurture her and one day take her as your woman? No… that can't be it either. While her physique may soon turn to that of a fine flower, her fruit is forever marred– it will never be ripe for picking. Perhaps–"
"You can stop now. It's not something you'll ever understand."
While he might have let my flippant attitude slide previously, he wasn't about to be so "gracious" twice.
The air thickened dangerously. If I were anyone else, maybe I would have been scared. "Be mindful of your tone, mongrel."
Indignant crimson met hardened steel.
"Heh." He suddenly covered his mouth. "Heheha. Hahahaha! Yes! Carry on just like that! Soon, we'll see if it's something you understand, yourself!"
His smirk –now more indulgent– found itself firmly planted on his face once more. "I look forward to it, fake little boy."
He stopped, seemingly mulling… something over. "Oh? I do like the way that rolls off the tongue. Fake. How fitting."
I stiffened as my guard raised. The man was whimsical but dull-minded he was not. Doubtlessly observant, how much had he pieced together and how much was merely speculation?
He walked off into the shadows of the church. "Until next time, faker."
I smiled wryly. How fitting indeed.
X
Kirei's ever-present smile was as unsettling as always, but he looked unusually haggard. Something seemed to be missing, though it couldn't have been anything important; he was already missing all his important bits.
"I got rid of many, though mostly just what I could find at the surface. I could not remove the ones attached to her nerves or her heart, for she would surely die if I tried."
I didn't bother asking what he had to do to accomplish that much. Instead, I zeroed in on the haggard but now conscious girl.
When she saw me, she tried to push herself up into a sitting position.
"Ah…" she whimpered wordlessly. Her arms trembled under their own weight.
I pushed her back down as gently as I could. "It's alright, Sakura."
"I should… go… back…"
I stopped her right there. "Didn't I tell you? I won't let that happen. Definitely not after I went through the trouble of getting those pesky things out of you."
Horrified, her eyes widened. "You… knew."
"Yeah," I didn't bother to deny.
"…Then why?"
"Hm?"
"Why are you doing this? If you really… about grandfather… then…"
Her words were coming out a jumbled mess, but I could understand the gist of what she was trying to say. "Because I want to."
My answer was simple and to the point. I couldn't give her anything more elaborate because I was still trying to give myself a straight answer. I spent every moment until the day I died chasing a faulty ideal, then everything after that hating it for what it turned me into. The short while that I've existed liberated from that dogma has been nothing short of confusing.
Was this the right path? Who could say? I'll just have to find out.
"Just let me… die…"
Tears flowed freely from her eyes. Was it shame? Embarrassment? Self-loathing?
Likely all of those things.
"No."
"…" Her face reverted to a dead stare. It was strange to see the tears trickle down her cheeks in spite of the stony expression.
The "fake priest", as Rin would call him, had been content to simply observe until now. I don't know what possessed him to finally ask me, "…What's your name, young man?"
I could lie, but I didn't see a point. If anything, it would probably serve as a deterrent of sorts. "Emiya Shirou."
Sparks of life crossed his tired eyes. "Emiya? Emiya, you said?"
I didn't answer.
"Hmhm…" he laughed into his fist. "Fascinating. Truly an amusing turn of events."
I looked away from the recovering child to try to get a read on the man– never an easy task, that. Luckily, I doubted that he'd act out now.
"I'm going to move you now, Sakura. I'm taking you home."
"She's weak… barely holding on to her life. You should try to be careful," warned Kirei.
The only words to come out of his mouth that I could say with all certainty were true.
"Don't worry, I will be."
I lifted Sakura and maneuvered as to lean her against my back. I did my best to move as slowly as possible.
At this rate, Kiritsugu might have to wait a little while longer.
X
The moment he saw what condition Sakura was in, Kiritsugu pulled us into the house with haste. He took her from me, laying her flat on the table in the next room.
"Tell me everything, Shirou."
A career as a contract killer probably screwed him up, but it taught him not to dawdle if nothing else.
For a moment, I weighed my options. I could come clean and save us all the trouble, or I could just as easily construct some sort of believable lie to get him out of my hair.
…No. keeping something this serious from him would do no good.
"She fainted while we were out. Her grandfather has his familiars –crest worms– littered all over her insides. I took her to the church and the priest managed to get rid of most of them, but now she's completely spent."
He furrowed his brows. "What priest?"
Really? That was his takeaway?
…Did he not know that Kotomine Kirei was at the church? It was my impression that they were enemies. There's no way that he'd let someone like that drop off the map without a good reason.
Again, something that wasn't too important right now.
"Shirou… what happened to your eyes?"
Oh, right. That slipped my mind. This could be tricky.
"…"
"Not only are you dealing with magi and the church, but now this? What is it that you're not telling me?"
"I…"
This would be the part where I come up with some sort of roundabout explanation that may or may not convince the man that this was all one strange happenstance and that he should –again– look the other way.
More and more, I was thinking that would do more harm than good. I thought that doing things as they came to me would be fine since I already knew what the future held, but…
That wasn't true anymore– it was never true, actually. My memory of this part of my life –of Shirou– had fallen victim to time. Forgetting wasn't the issue. It was knowing better to begin with. I didn't know enough about Zouken to save Sakura, I didn't know enough about Kotomine to tell if going to him would come back to bite me in the ass, and apparently I didn't know enough about Kiritsugu to be sure he wouldn't try to stick my brains to a bullet right now.
A quick look to the side confirmed that Sakura was out of it once again. Good.
As far as leaps of faith went, this was the steepest one I've ever allowed myself. But that's what this was all about, right? Doing… something differently?
Well, let's see how this goes.
"Many years from now, Emiya Shirou will make a contract with Alaya and become her Counter Guardian."
X
To my adoptive father's credit, he allowed me to finish without a single interruption. He listened without once losing his mask of indifference.
He wanted to know what I wasn't telling him, right? So here it was. All of it.
I awaited his reaction with trepidation.
"And you're telling me all this on the basis that I should believe you?"
Those were the first words he spoke.
"Yes."
"…"
He was skeptical. I would be, too.
"I have no proof, unfortunately. There's nothing that I could show you with my magecraft, nor is there anything that I know about you that would convince you."
I saw the muscles in his jaw rippled as he clenched his teeth. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Then let's assume for a second that I do believe you. What is it that you're trying to accomplish? If I influenced you the way I did, why come back to me? Why hide it? Why are you telling me now?"
There were a lot of loaded questions there, so I would start with the most straightforward. "I already told you, didn't I? I'm not here to be a hero or anything. Someone once told me that I can be happy as long as I can be there for the people I care about. I'm just trying to keep them safe."
Unflinchingly, he opened his eyes to meet my own. "Then that's why you're so oddly protective of this Sakura girl? She's not some stranger you picked up off the street that you pitied. She's one of these people you're trying to save."
An infinitesimally small part of me wanted to tell him that he, too, was one of those people. I wouldn't though. A combination of pride, bitterness and years of lasting contempt stopped me.
"Yeah. She, and a few others. Even Illya, as unfortunate as her current circumstances are."
My enhanced vision picked up on how he stilled at the mention of his daughter. "And pray tell, what do you think you can do about that?"
"You can't get to her, right? The Einzbern family's doing their damndest to keep you out, and you're too weak to fight back."
It wasn't really a question. It was more just me telling him what I already knew.
His silence told me he caught on to that.
"It's not something that would be too difficult for me to do. If you help me, I can get your daughter– my sister," I stressed, "out of there."
He wasn't convinced. "You have the body of a seven-year-old child, Shirou."
"Trace on."
Three Noble Phantasms were brought into the world behind me, their edges piercing the floorboard in an act of non-aggression.
Hrunting.
Gae Bolg.
Durandal.
Three weapons of great renown. Their craftmanship was unmatched in the modern era, but more importantly, the bore an aura that made them unmistakable for anything other than tools of great power.
Kiritsugu looked like a fish right now, I remarked. His jaw was doing funny things.
"This… Just maybe…"
I would cast the line but it was up to him to take the other end. "I can help you, old man."
He crossed his arms and looked away. No words were spoken between the two of us for close to a minute. The only sound that broke the silence was Sakura's steady breathing.
"We'll stop by London once your school year ends. Is that alright with you?"
There were things we'd have to iron out, notably what we'd do with the girl that was currently knocked out on the table beside us.
I'm glad.
"That's fine."
"Good."
"Does that mean I don't have to mess around with any more guns?"
"No, quite the opposite."
I cried petulantly, "What? Why?"
"You want to work with me, right? As you are now, you're no better than any other mage."
"…" I held my tongue, waiting for him to elaborate.
"If you can pull stuff like that" –he pointed over my shoulder– "then I don't doubt your capabilities. However, your displeasure for modern methods means your weaknesses are just as blatant and exploitable as any of those other old-fashioned fools."
I felt the need to defend myself. "I can't say I agree. That's a lot of arrogance to live up to."
Instead of arguing, he gave me an applied example.
From his pocket, he took out a strange-looking device. It almost looked like a–
His thumb pressed a button.
I stilled.
A little red dot appeared on my body. It was a… light?
Crap. It was a laser sight.
I followed the laser back to the source. With my quasi-inhuman vision, I spotted a strange turret-mounted… thing set up on a roof a few houses out.
I cursed my carelessness. How did I not–
…Of course, I didn't sense it. There was nothing outstanding about the damn thing. Its origins weren't mystical in the slightest, so neither my vision nor my sense of smell would help me. I wasn't looking out for something like that either since the only person who'd ever try something like this was…
"Okay, I get your point."
"Good."
He put away the switch and the laser disappeared. I was hyperaware of the turret now, though.
"…So what now?" I asked awkwardly.
"Now, we work out a plan of action. I don't have long to live, so we're on a time limit."
What could I do about that, I wondered.
"Getting to Illya won't be as difficult as it will be to keep her alive," I informed him straight away. "Jubstacheit intends for her to be the Lesser Grail, so her 'shelf life' as a homunculus isn't the greatest."
Kiritsugu grimaced. This was something he already knew, from the looks of it. "And you're certain the War will take place so soon?"
"Yes."
Unfortunately for us, no matter how versatile my Unlimited Blade Works seemed to be, I couldn't think of any Noble Phantasm or Mystic Code that could 'magically' solve our current problems. Sakura and Illya's bodies were a mess. Kiritsugu's too, but that was a whole other can of worms.
They would need new ones.
My mind betrayed me, and my train of thought went down one railway I didn't want to go near. At all. Ever.
I really hoped we wouldn't have to end up asking her for help. I really, really did.
That would take so much effort and pain and would be a terrible scenario the whole way through.
I took a deep breath, shelving that thought straight away. One step at a time.
It was already a small miracle that Kiritsugu was willing to hear me out. I could have sworn there'd be a little more paranoia in there somewhere.
