CHAPTER 3.19

'What's wrong?

You've been askin' but I don't have an answer.

How come?'


Pencil flitted over the paper as dark lines appeared in the wake of the nib. A frustrated huff floated in the air. Eraser smudged away charcoal. A growl replaced the soft earlier sound.

It wasn't good enough.

Anger controlled her movements as she crumpled the paper and launched it, not giving a care as to where it landed. Chuckling when he was greeted with a discarded drawing whacking him in the face, Cato greeted his fiancée cheerfully; seeing her passion for drawing resurfacing had put him in high spirits.

During one of their late-night conversations before the 74th Hunger Games (a moment that seemed like a million memories ago), Indiana had let slip her enjoyment for designing outfits in her spare time, and she had often attempted architectural designs. If she hadn't become a Trainer, she would probably have ended up in the Capitol as a designer. However, life had taken her in a completely different direction from both paths. It had taken more begging than he was comfortable with before Indiana had agreed to show Cato what she was capable of – he hadn't been disappointed.

Watching as her forehead creased in concentration, he allowed her to start the new masterpiece in peace. Collapsing into the armchair at the side of her bed, he unfolded the ball and blinked twice at the image staring back at him. It was his face. Perfectly captured, from the creases in his forehead after years of frowning to the twist of his lips when he smirked. Questioning why his face had been scrunched into pieces, Cato scowled at the perfectionist answer he received.

"What do you mean 'the eyes aren't right'? They're perfect replicas – and don't tell me I'm wrong," he added when he saw her mouth open in response. "They're my eyes. I look at them every day."

"You don't see them the way I do though. The ones in the drawing don't show the kindness and depth of emotion I see in yours every time you look at me." Indiana mumbled, face disappearing behind a curtain of hair when she ducked her head to avoid looking into those captivating eyes.

Placing his hands on either side of her face, Cato tilted her head back before pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. Assuring her that it was perfect, he picked up the stack of drawings at the foot of the bed and began rifling through them. Marvelling at the detail produced from memory, the faces of familiar people stared back at him; Cashmere, Gloss, Finnick, Clove, even Glimmer.

An unfamiliar male face had a surge of jealousy rushing through him until he saw the name at the bottom of the page. 'Jamie'. This was the face of the man who had aided her training to survive the Games. The man who had been executed in front of Indiana during her imprisonment as incentive for her to talk (as she had tearfully told Cato one night after a gruelling therapy session – surprisingly, they had the same therapist).

His hands stilled when a particularly dark picture caught his attention.

"No!" Indiana cried, snatching the art from his hands.

It was too late.

Each horrifying detail had already been seared into his brain. Burning hot imprints that would last forever. Apologising for what he had seen, Indiana began explaining that she had been unable to sleep one night and the image just came to life as the pencil slid across the paper. Begging her to never say sorry for the memories that sought an escape, Cato was relieved for once when his watch beeped, informing him that President Coin had given him extra work. Apparently she thought keeping Indiana and Cato apart as much as possible would somehow benefit the rebellion. Kissing the top of her forehead, Cato reminded her of his love and dashed out the door before his anger and guilt could consume him.

Sighing softly, Indiana reminded herself that she would need to be more patient in terms of the truth. Whilst he wanted to know every detail she was willing to share so as to understand how best to aid her, there was so much that he was unable to process. Knowing that if the roles were reversed she too would be unable to comprehend how someone was capable of inflicting such pain on another person gave Indiana the ability to understand the reactions of the man who blamed himself for all her pain.

A tear dripped onto the page. Brushing away the damp drop, her fingers traced the harsh lines composing the menacing figures.

Gazing up at her was her own terror-stricken face, frozen in time with tears decorating her cheeks. Menacing figures surrounded her, light glinting off the tip of the deadly instruments each one wielded. Larger than any other life form in the photo was the incarnation of evil with a grin full of death.

Coincidentally, he bore the face of President Snow.


"You look as pretty as a picture." Indiana commented, staring down at Katniss Everdeen's bruised and weakened form.

Bruises still littered her neck, her skin was pale, her hair lack-lustre and her abdomen was bandaged. Taken aback, Katniss' eyes snapped open and she whispered the older girl's name as if she couldn't believe who was stood in front of her. Offended at the comment, Katniss noted the thick bandages on Indiana's own arms (the cast had been taken off a few days ago after diagnosing her as a low-level risk) and she still looked slightly ill.

"Johanna isn't here. They took her for some tests and -." Katniss stammered, unsure as to why else the blonde woman would be in this part of the Hospital.

"I know. I'm actually here to see you."

"Why?" Katniss' eyes narrowed.

Indiana sniggered at how non-threatening she looked. "Curiosity. Did you know that watching you get shot live was quite possibly one of the best moments of my life."

Eyes flitting around the room, Katniss tried to discreetly search for nearby soldiers who would be able to jump to her aid if the blonde woman decided to attack.

Surely she wouldn't, Katniss thought, Cato must have mentioned our friendship.

Chiding herself, Katniss realised that she would be the last thing Cato and Indiana would've talked about after the time spent apart from his fiancée. Panic began settling in but Katniss found herself rendered immobile, unable to do anything other than stare up at Indiana. The heart monitor beeped obnoxiously and Indiana stared at it with disgust.

"Seriously, will you relax? I'm not here to hurt you; that would be pointless. I got bored in my room and Peeta was undergoing tests so I had no one else to talk to."

Giving Katniss a vague explanation for her visit made Indiana far more comfortable than having to admit that being alone with her thoughts was causing her to spiral further into insanity. Cato's abrupt departure had left her in a dark mood and Peeta hadn't been available for talking about it. Katniss was the next best thing and Indiana knew she would have to interact with the Mockingjay sooner of later. Doing it on her own terms and of her own volition made her feel more in control.

Torn between wishing to know more information about Peeta and wanting the volatile woman to remain calm and not start snapping about how Katniss doesn't deserve Peeta, the dark-haired girl opted to discuss Indiana's own hospitalisation. It was only after mentioning it did Katniss realise how much of a terrible idea that was.

Anything I say could set her off though, Katniss reminded herself.

"I hear voices. Apparently that's not normal?" Indiana shrugged nonchalantly, which was something that terrified Katniss more than if the woman had been bitter or angry.

No one should sound cheerful and calm when talking about the experiences Indiana had been through.

"I'm sorry about-."

"Please, don't. You are the last person I wish to discuss my time in the Capitol with. You were the person I least expected to bring it up." Indiana's smile dropped for a split second before flickering back into place. However, it didn't reach her eyes like it had when she was previously teasing Katniss. "You know, I was slightly envious of how you were treated by being the Mockingjay – the whole everyone sacrifices their lives for your or gets left behind because the rebellion needs you – but then I was informed that your life depends on my actions. I guess you could say I'm now quite comfortable in my role as tortured prisoner of war. Mainly because if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't trust me very much."

"What are you talking about?" Katniss squeaked, struggling to sit up so as to feel some semblance of strength and control in the delicate situation she found herself in.

"Well, you killed everyone I love and you're responsible for the deaths of the other people I love. You're also responsible for the hell that I've been through." Indiana spat. "I was content to stay dead but no, I had to be brought back to teach you a lesson. As if that wasn't bad enough, your life is now tied to mine. I have to be a good little minion to ensure you live. Any sane person would do whatever was in their power to ensure you're punished."

Staring wide-eyed at the grinning girl, Katniss coughed as she choked on the breath that caught in her throat. No one was around to save her this time – no Cato to soothe her, no Finnick to make her see reason and no Peeta to protect her. If Indiana lunged for Katniss now, she would be dead in six different ways before anyone was alerted and pulled the savage killer off her.

A broken laugh burst past the blonde's lips and Katniss' body involuntarily relaxed.

"Luckily for you, I'm not classified as sane," her voice cracked. "Why did you do it though? Why risk your life?"

"Because I wanted to see Cato happy." Katniss answered without hesitation.

Tears glistened in Indiana's blue eyes making them sparkle in a way that reminded Katniss of the beauty Indiana possessed. Turning her head away from the Girl on Fire, Indiana tried to avoid crying.

Life hadn't turned out the way she had expected it to and she had lost so many people but yet she had gained new people in her life that had changed her in ways she had never thought capable.

Shocked at the emotion she had witnessed swimming in Indiana's eyes, Katniss felt all her anger and fear towards the girl from One dissipate. Whilst she would always be terrified of what Indiana was capable of, Katniss felt sympathy for the girl due to the cruel hand life had dealt her. Katniss had been fighting for her family the entire time but Indiana was now the last of the Summers line. There was no one left for her, she was fighting for the chance to at least live until her 20th birthday. Or her wedding – the last shot she had at a family.

Subconsciously, Katniss' hand rested on Indiana's pale one as she smiled at the blonde. Surprising herself, Indiana made no effort to move away.

"I didn't come in here to scare you, believe it or not. I wanted to talk to you about Peeta." Indiana sniffled before letting out a light laugh in an attempt to lighten the gloomy atmosphere that had fallen over them.

"Peeta? Why? Is he okay?" Katniss couldn't help the panic that crept into her tone.

Shaking her head at how oblivious the dark-haired girl was to her own feelings, Indiana assured her that Peeta was physically perfectly healthy and improving every day.

"I know it's difficult at the moment and the situation feels hopeless but I'm begging you not to give up on him. In the Capitol, he talked about you a lot – it was quite annoying really – but I know the depth of his love for you and I believe that in time he can overcome this. Katniss, please, if you love him then you need to truly love him or you need to leave him be. He can't handle being messed around."

Unable to respond due to being at a lost for words, Katniss said, "I'm really grateful that you were there with him. I've heard how much you helped each other."

"Peeta might possibly be the only reason I didn't truly lose my mind."

"I'm hurt by that, Squirt. I thought I was the one keeping you sane."

Violently flinching at the familiar voice that brought her so much pain to her, Indiana ignored the quizzical look Katniss shot her and continued talking as if everything was perfectly normal. Out of her peripheral, Marvel seated himself on the end of Johanna's bed, making comments about how easy it would be for her to end Katniss' life right now.

"You can't ignore me, Indie. You're stuck with me forever."

Sitting cross-legged, Marvel smirked at the girl when they made eye contact as she turned to look at Johanna, who had returned. Furrowing her eyebrows, Johanna asked if the two girls realised whom they were talking to before accepting that weirder things had happened. Jumping into her own bed, she siphoned some of Katniss' morphling before joining in on the conversation.

Despite the new addition, Marvel hadn't moved from his position. Wiggling his fingers in a wave, he chuckled when Indiana turned away from him.

The first time she had seen him, Indiana had been ecstatic that she had the chance to speak to her best friend again. After all, she hadn't been ready to lose him and now he was no longer lost. However, his appearance now brought her pain.

He's not real, she chided herself.

Thankfully, the other visions had seemed to disappear – there was just one she seemed incapable of being rid of. Seeing Marvel was no longer a sign of happiness. Instead it was an omen that her mind wasn't repairing. It meant more time in the hospital under psychiatric observation and more time before she could start her life with Cato.

"Refusing to look at me doesn't change the fact that you can still see me."

The irony of having to choose between the two men yet again was not lost on her.


'I can see through your lies.

I don't know where we're goin' but I'd like to be by your side.

If you could tell me how you're feelin'.

Maybe we'd get through this undefeated.'