CHAPTER 3.24

'I've waited a hundred years.

But I'd wait a million more for you.

Nothing prepared me for.

What the privilege of being yours would do.'


Guilt could be suffocating if you let it swallow you whole. It could be a pool of turbulent emotions that drowned you if there was no one to help pull you out. More often than not, people found themselves wracked with guilt for reasons lost to the subconscious of the human mind. Fingers tapping nervously against her thigh, Indiana grappled with her own feelings of guilt as her feet shuffled down the echoing hallway.

The swinging doors to the Hospital loomed ever closer as she took one thudding footstep after another. Halfway down the hallway, her feet decided to stop moving of their own accord. Turning on her heel, Indiana debated whether she should just walk back the way she came. Johanna was the only survivor of the Prisoners of the Capitol that Indiana had avoided spending time alone with. The only time they had interacted was when they were forced together by the numerous rules and strict routine that District Thirteen enforced. They certainly never sat down with each other and conversed about their emotions regarding what they had suffered.

Forgiveness was far trickier to master than guilt and Indiana hadn't quite become proficient in forgiving people who had wronged her yet (at least not those she had previously been close with). As a result, the distance between her and Johanna grew. Each time she looked at the face of the woman who had been her friend – the woman who knew all that Indiana had lost – her aunt's face being projected into the arena's sky refused to dissipate from her mind. Whilst she regretted not being there for the woman in the time that Johanna needed her most, Indiana seriously considered running back down the hallway and to the comfort of her room. Sighing, the blonde turned back towards the Hospital doors, marching forwards with newfound determination.

Katniss had rushed down to enter the Hospital the moment they were done in Command, eager to pass her condolences along to the woman who would no longer be allowed to her roommate. Soldiers hurried to and from the Hospital, aiding those who (like Johanna) had failed their examination and required medical assistance. Each one cast unsubtle side glances as Indiana continued to stand by the doors, and was still stood there by the time that they exited the sterile area. Dark stone paved the floor beneath her boots but as the doors swung open, the stark contrast between concrete and white tile was blinding. The acrid scent of lemon burned her nose as she inhaled deeply in an effort to cool her nerves. Grimacing at the reek of disinfectant, Indiana took a step forward, hand reaching to push the door open and take a step forward. She had spent too much time in that place and every time she was forced to return was a horrible reminder of the state she had arrived at District Thirteen in.

Ignoring the hair prickling on her arms, she told herself that she had come so far from that broken little girl despite the small amount of time that had passed. Would comforting someone who had caused her such agony be worth the damage it could to her mentality? Realising that she was so exhausted of being strong for those around her when all she wanted to do was crumble, Indiana decided entering Johanna's room was the last thing she wished to spend her afternoon off doing. What she really wanted was to wash away the sweat of her examination and crawl into bed where she would wait for the moment strong arms wrapped lovingly around her waist, pulling her into the muscular body of her husband.

"Indie?" Katniss' voice tore the older woman's gaze away from the ground. "Are you all right?"

Thirty minutes had passed since Katniss had entered Johanna's room when she had been asked to leave so that the medic could finish running some tests and allow the Victor from Seven to get some rest. Exiting the Hospital, she had found Indiana blankly gazing at the toe of her boots and realised that her friend hadn't gotten side-tracked after all (when Katniss had left Command, Indiana wasn't far behind). Instead, Indiana had been waging an internal war inside her head.

Glancing down at her hand still pressed to the door, Indiana made the poignant decision to walk away without looking back. For the first time in many years, Indiana Summers refused to be someone else's emotional crutch and so she let the broken women from Seven fall. Joining Katniss in the doorway, Johanna Mason watched with a solemn expression as the blonde disappeared around a corner and knew that her friendship with the younger woman would never be repaired. Both of the warriors spend their evening crumbling from the guilt that threatened to destroy them.


Wet strands of hair dripped down her back as her fingers nimbly worked at braiding them away from her face. Not yet fully dressed, Indiana leant across the sink to gaze into the small mirror to see whether the top of the braid was flat. A click resonated throughout the room and she couldn't help the smile that sidled its way onto her face as the thudding of heavy footsteps filled her ears. The hulking figure of her handsome husband filled the doorway and Indiana connected eyes with him through the mirror. Rough fingers replaced her hands as he smoothed out the tangles in her hair and expertly twisted the strands together. Once he was done, the woman couldn't help but admit that he had done a better job than she would have done herself. Reminding her that he had younger sisters who he'd been forced to practice on, he pressed a kiss to the side of her head before stripping for his own shower.

Sinking her teeth into her lip, she heard him exclaim in shock when the water came out cold instead of the usual lukewarm. Guilt made its appearance once more when she realised she had used up their ration of warm water for the day. Plopping down onto the mattress, the blonde closed in on herself as the events of the day took their toll on her. For so long she had been fighting – fighting for survival, fighting other children, fighting other Victors, fighting her own mind. Now she was just tired. But, she knew the war wasn't over and there was much more battle she still had to endure. The knowledge that this could soon be over made it slightly easier to get out of bed and face her reflection in the mirror. Her hands, no longer covered in her own blood, would never be cleansed of the innocent lives she had taken.

Perhaps, she thought to herself, those deaths would finally mean something once they liberated Panem from the cruel grasp of President Snow.

Pulled from her thoughts as a bare chest entered her view, she bit her lip at the towel slung around his hips. How it didn't drop any lower was beyond her but she found herself almost willing it to slide down. Leaning into his touch as he placed his hand on the side of her face, she looked up at him through her lashes.

"You did so good today, baby. I had no doubt you would pass but I'm still so proud. We'll be fighting side by side once more."

Indiana remained silent, relishing in his strength for a moment or two. All she wanted was to lie down and wait for the fight to pass but she knew that all she had lost had led her to this moment. Every death, every heartache, every tear that she had shed had been to make her strong enough to survive this last fight. Eyes connecting with Cato's, she realised she had disappeared inside her own head once again. Concern was written across his face until she reassured him that she wasn't slipping back into insanity. Irritation ignited within her but it vanished as soon as it had arrived. For the remainder of her life, anytime she seemed distant or not entirely engaged in what was going on around her, people would always doubt whether she was entirely sane. Cato's accusation came from a place of care but she hoped he would soon grow out of it. Lately, she had been too busy to have time to slip into her own head.

"It's okay to be scared. I'm scared. I just got you back and now we have to go to the Capitol – that terrifies me. I may sound like a dick saying this but I worry what it'll do to all the hard work you've done mentally. Indie-."

"Stop," she demanded. "I'm not weak enough to crumble at the sight of the Capitol. I will fight and I will survive it with far more mental clarity than I have ever had before."

"Sweetheart, I never meant-."

"No, I know exactly what you meant. Everyone saw me at my lowest and I will have to spend every moment for the rest of my life proving that I am not broken. Snow didn't break me. I'm not some fragile little doll that needs to be hidden away whilst the pieces are glued back together again. I have passed every test that Coin has thrown at me, I have worked my ass off during training and I've attended every therapy session and left with praise about my hard work. What else do I need to do for you to accept that I'm fine?!"

"Indie, this isn't about me thinking you're not strong enough, this is about me not being strong enough! I'm terrified that if we leave Thirteen, we may never make it back. Not because I doubt our skill but the odds have never been in our favour. We could die out there and I couldn't survive losing you a third time. I've already had to deal with you dying once before."

Falling to his knees, Cato buried his head in her lap and allowed the tears to fall. Whispering soothing words, Indiana ran her fingers through his blond strands. Teardrops slid down her own cheeks as she watched the strongest person in their marriage fall apart. Cato had been there for her since the moment they reunited after their resurrection and he had been there to catch her every time she stumbled. Watching him feeling so hopeless shook her and although she felt like curling up next to him and giving in, she knew it was her time to be there for him.

"Listen to me, we've made it through death and we've made it through separation, we have proven that our love is unstoppable. Baby, we've defied the laws of nature and we're still here together. I am just as scared as you but I know that we're going to get through this together. We haven't made it this far just to lose now. You and me, together, Cato. Forever."

"You don't deserve this." Cato sniffled, brushing away his own tears. "You've been through so much, lost so much and you still can't rest. I'm supposed to be there for you. Let me go and fight this last battle for you."

"Cato, I'm your wife, it's my duty to be there for you. We fight together or we don't fight at all. Don't forget that we're from Career Districts. We're always strong and we never lose."

"Well maybe, for one night, we reward ourselves with the luxury of being weak. Just tonight, let's forget about this stupid war and just wallow in our pity. Please?"

And maybe it was the broken look on his face, the sadness swirling in the sky blue eyes, or the fact that forgetting about the war was all she wanted to do, Indiana granted her husband the only thing he had ever asked of her. Snuggling into his comforting (still bare) arms of her husband, Indiana allowed herself to cry about her own pain for the first time. The tears that fell weren't for the fallen and all they had left behind, they weren't for the screams of her friends, these were purely for how mentally exhausted and rundown she felt. Soft lips kissed away her tears. One warm hand rested on the pale skin of her hip, having slithered its way under the thin shirt she slept in.

With a small inhale, she pressed her lips to his whilst her hands snaked their way into his hair. Salt mixed the taste of his tongue but she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer to her. A rumble echoed in his chest as his length pressed against her and he straightened, yanking her up with him. Spinning them around, Cato backed her up until she hit the wall with a bump. As his lips trailed down to her neck, Indiana rested her head against the wall, back arching when Cato sucked on the sweet spot just below her ear.

"I love you," his lips traced the words down to the valley between her breasts before he wrenched the top over her head and threw it behind him.

Left hand reaching up to palm at her breast, his mouth wrapped around the nipple on the other one, tongue flickering over the hardened bud. Her breath hitched and she used her foot to deftly push the towel down and finally reveal what had been hidden from her. Exclaiming in shock, Indiana scowled when Cato chuckled against her. When she had reached down to grasp him, he had gently bitten her nipple but the action had forced her hips against his and with one roll of his hips, he had brushed against her clothed clit.

"Off," she begged, lifting her hips slightly away from the wall so that Cato could slide them down her shaky legs.

Fingers dancing along her legs, she reached down to cup her heat and one finger slid between her wet walls.

"I will never get sick of this," he groaned, watching as Indiana bit her lip in pleasure.

Thumb rubbing her clit, he added another finger, watching as they plunged in and out of her slick heat. His name tumbled off her lips as her pleasure increased and Cato knew that that would be his favourite sound. If there was one sound that could banish the nightmares and dispel the darkness, it would be Indiana crying her name as she tumbled over the edge, coating his fingers. Panting slightly, she pushed her husband away from her, revelling in the confused look on his face.

As she sunk to her knees, lust clouded his blue eyes until they were as dark as the sea in District Four on a stormy day. Hand wrapping around the base, she smirked as he hissed when her tongue licked a stripe from balls to tip. Mouth wrapping around his tip, she moved down ever so slightly before pulling back up. Hollowing her cheeks out, she sucked gently on his tip and was rewarded with a throaty groan as Cato bucked his hips, pushing his cock deeper into her mouth.

"So good to me, baby." Cato cursed, hand resting on her head as he pushed her down a little more.

Humming around him, she gagged when he jerked slightly and his dick hit the back of her throat. One hand gently fondled his balls and Cato swore before pulling himself away from her.

"As much as I love your mouth wrapped around me, I'd rather put my cock somewhere else."

Shivers skittered down her spine as his husky words were whispered in her ear and she found herself before pulled of her knees before she was shoved against the wall face first. Large hands gripped her hips hard enough to bruise and Indiana smiled knowing Cato remembered just how she liked it.

"Always so tight for me," he grunted as he slid into her.

Cheek pressed against the cold concrete wall, Indiana whimpered as her walls adjusted to the girth of him. Teasingly, he slowly entered inch by inch until his impatient wife backed up and enveloped the entirety of him in one quick movement. One hand braced on the wall, small grunts escaped his mouth as thrust gently into her. Lips pressing a gentle kiss to the scarred back of his hand, Indiana rested her head against his hand in a loving gesture. A primal instinct ignited in Cato at the sight of his wife so small and vulnerable, as she let down her guard and opened herself up to him both emotionally and physically. The woman beneath him was always so strong and fierce that he couldn't help the dark chuckle that escaped as his body encompassed hers entirely as he pressed her further into the wall.

"Such a good girl. Take me so well," he praised, enjoying the little pants that left her mouth and with a shift of his hips, he coaxed a scream from her.

Unable to help the moans that tumbled from her mouth, Indiana reached down to grab the hand that gripped her hip and pulled her against his cock. Love swelled within him as she held on tightly to him, begging him to go faster as she pleaded for her impending orgasm.

"I love you," she cried as stars exploded across her vision and her walls clenched him tightly.

At the feel of her orgasm, Cato burrowed himself in deeper and pounded harder into her sensitive walls.

"So close, Princess." Cato gasped, his breath hitting the back of her neck as he leaned down to rest his chin on her shoulder. Pressing a kiss to the side of her neck, his movements quickened as he sought release.

"Cum in me," she begged.

Not one to deny his wife her desires, Cato called her name as he stuffed himself inside her, hot cum painting her walls. Sensitive to his touch, Indiana leaned back into his chest as his arms came around her waist and pulled her in for a loving embrace. One hand wrested flat on her belly as he whispered promises of having their own family once the war was over. If we live, she wanted to say but her mouth wouldn't let her ruin the moment between them. Naked and wrapped around one another, they could pretend for just a moment that they were a normal married couple whose only issues were what to eat for dinner and how many children they wanted. Whimpering as Cato pulled out of her, she watched him wander into the bathroom in search of a washcloth for her.

Hand resting on her own abdomen, Indiana wondered whether she would live long enough to have children. And, for the first time in life, she found herself hoping she would. Struck by the aching pang within her, she realised that marriage had made her realise just how badly she craved a perfect family with the man she loved. How much she wanted to provide him with the children he had spent many nights imagining.

War raged around them and in a few days time, they would once again be shoved into the middle of it. Win or lose, this would all be ending soon. Whether they lived or died, the Hadleys would finally be able to stop fighting.


'Your love is my turning page.

Where only the sweetest words remain.

Every kiss is a cursive line.

Every touch is a redefining phrase.'