Gloria never got to sleep in on Saturdays. It was the store's busiest day and once she opened for business in the morning, she rarely got much of a chance to sit down. Since Lourdes never had to work weekends at her job, she always offered to take the boys. Saving her money on a babysitter and giving Gloria, what she had hoped would be, the opportunity to be alone with her daughters. Gloria had always envisioned them snacking on candy behind the counter while they gossiped with her about everything, they wanted her to know between customers. Like most things in life, the reality turned out to be much different.
Ceci kept so busy with Nicky and school that she rarely was home, aside from sleeping. She'd work down in the store just long enough to earn the pocket money she needed to keep up with all her activity. It pained Gloria, but she also saw that it hurt Elena even more, who felt abandoned by her big sister and compelled to feel even more resentment towards her mother, for seemingly chasing Ceci away.
After Gloria had gotten off the phone last night, she had knocked on Elena's door and invited herself inside to perch on the foot of her daughter's bed. Her daughter had not appeared to welcome her company, but she did not ask her to go away either like her older sister would have. She was seated at her desk, penciling in her answers to math problems with an eraser at the ready when she needed to try again.
"Do you like your new school?" Gloria had asked gently.
"It's okay," Elena had shrugged, with her shoulders still hunched over her homework. "My teachers are good."
It was a start. Something positive to hold onto, in the sea of critiques and complaints from her daughters who had seemed determined to find fault with everything from the moment their plane touched down in New York. Gloria hadn't said much more to Elena after that, but she didn't leave either. She'd lain down on Ceci's vacant bed silently, attempting to read the novel that had been lying spine up over the bedspread, but mostly just relishing in being in such close proximity to Elena.
As she'd looked around the pretty little pink room, Gloria had refrained from voicing her thoughts aloud. She had created for them a bedroom for little girls, and little girls they no longer were. Bringing them home had forced Gloria to confront the truth that five years was a significant amount of time. She'd watched the way they both had eyed the dolls and stuffed animals reproachfully, before allowing Julio to toddle off with them into his own room. They hadn't been impressed by the bunk beds she'd selected either, something they had always wanted as small children. Within a week, the beds had been taken apart and the pink walls had been mostly covered by posters and photographs the girls had brought with them, of the friends and family left behind in Puerto Rico.
"I think I'm going to go to bed now," Elena had spoken finally, dismissing her, after nearly an hour spent together in companionable silence. Part of Gloria had wanted to ask if her daughter wouldn't care if she slept over in Ceci's bed that night, but she hadn't wanted to push her luck.
"Sure, sweetheart," Gloria had said agreeably, setting the book down. She'd gotten to her feet, but before making to leave the room she had reached out to Elena for a hug. Her daughter had felt stiff and unfamiliar in her arms, but Elena hadn't pushed away or anything of the sort. She'd leaned her forehead onto her mother's shoulder, and didn't protest the feel of Gloria's lips kissing her hair and inhaling the sweet scent that was uniquely hers.
Reinvigorated, by a small sense of hope, the next day in the store passed quickly and pleasantly enough. Ceci had never called or came home, but Galina kept her informed, and Elena slept late and then hung out alone upstairs in the apartment. Gloria had gone up to check on her a couple of times, and their exchanges had been amicable. Although, on her last visit, she'd found Elena speaking Spanish on the phone to her grandmother. The young girl's longing and sense of homesickness could be sensed in every syllable, and filled Gloria once again with guilt and despair.
"All night?" Lourdes sighed loudly into the phone, once Gloria went back down to the store and called her.
"No, not all night," Gloria replied. "We'll get home around eleven or so. Please, Tia? It's important. And the boys will be asleep through it all anyway."
"Benny doesn't like to sleep for me," Lourdes protested. "Do you know how much I had to fight to get him to take his nap this afternoon? And then Julio decided it was a good time to pretend to be a dinosaur and stomp around until it woke the baby up."
"I promise, I'm not going to make a habit of this," Gloria pleaded. "I just really would like to take Elena out by herself tonight. I think it would be good for us."
"Where's Cecelia?" Lourdes asked.
"With Nicky," Gloria replied.
There was a pause. "And you're sure Nicky is a good influence?" Lourdes asked skeptically.
"I have no reasons to be concerned," Gloria replied. "And as of now, she is the only thing in Ceci's life that makes her happy."
"Just keep your eye out for trouble," Lourdes cautioned. "Because that's all we'd need."
"Tia-"
"I'll keep them," Lourdes said. "Just this one time. And you be by tomorrow to pick them up early because I've got things of my own to do."
As soon as she was off the phone, Gloria had closed up the store in record time and went upstairs to take full advantage of this night alone with Elena. She hadn't given the girl a choice. She had been cooped up alone in the apartment all day, which wasn't good for anyone. Gloria just announced she was going for a shower, and that she wanted Elena to be dressed and ready to go out by the time she came back. Not as argumentative as her sister, Elena did what she was told.
"What are we doing?" she asked dully.
"We're going out to dinner," Gloria replied, bending down to slip her feet into her black ankle boots.
"Where?" asked Elena.
"You decide," Gloria said. She finished zipping up her boot and then reached for the coat she had hung on the hook. "This is your night. We can do anything you want, so long as it doesn't involve staying home or ditching me. We can go to dinner, do some shopping, get some ice cream."
Elena stared at her in bewilderment. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she looked wary about the entire prospect. Gloria fumbled a little, her confidence taking a hit.
"Or maybe the movies," she suggested awkwardly. "If you don't really want to talk to me?"
Elena pursed her lips and Gloria could tell she was considering her offer with a great deal of thought.
"Okay," she said finally.
"Really?" Gloria couldn't keep the eagerness at her tone, and it made Elena giggle shyly.
"Yeah…" Elena nodded her head agreeably. "Maybe we could go eat at that restaurant you started working at when you first came here?"
It was the first time she had ever shown any curiosity about what had gone on in her mother's life during their years apart. It made Gloria smile. She would be happy to share that with her daughter, if she was interested in listening. Maybe it would compel Elena to fill in more of the blanks in her own life. And maybe more understanding of one another, would lead to a renewed sense of closeness. Where forgiveness would have a fighting chance.
XXX
Ceci limped awkwardly over to the curb so that she could hail a cab. She had twisted her ankle, not paying attention to the uneven sidewalk beneath her feet as she walked away from the old stone house. Though it was a few blocks away, she could still hear the music loudly. She predicted that the cops would be by to shut everything down soon. She hoped Nicky would have left by then. Already on probation since being released from Juvie, mischief of almost any kind could lead to her being sent back. It seemed like such a stupid and self-destructive risk, when even Nicky admitted that she had never been happier since being placed with the Reznikovs.
Ceci bit down on her bottom lip, adjusting the heavy duffel bag holding the skates Galina had lent her. Though she had wanted to ditch them in a set of bushes near the skating rink they were dropped off in front of, Nicky had been worried someone would swipe them which could lead to awkward questions with her foster mother. So Ceci had been lugging them around all night.
"Taxi, taxi!" Ceci called out, waving her hand. After only a few months in the city, she was already pretty good at getting around New York by herself. Not that hailing cabs, alone, late at night was ever something she would be allowed to do, if her mother knew.
The bright yellow car pulled up to the curb and Ceci tossed her skating bag in and then slid in beside it. She gave her home address to the driver, and then reached for the wallet in her purse to count out the fare. She huffed when she realized this ride was probably going to cost her all her money, which meant she would need to spend another day in the store with Gloria, to earn some more.
"Could you turn the heat up please?" she asked, rubbing her hands together. While she'd been walking, she hadn't realized just how cold she had become. Her ankle was throbbing and she felt a flash of renewed irritation at her friend igniting inside of her.
'The least Nicky could have done is leave with me when I asked her to call Galina to pick us up,' she thought to herself. But Nicky had been too caught up in what she was doing to pay much attention to Ceci, when she had come over to speak to her. Cecelia couldn't call Galina or her own mom without snitching on Nicky, so she was forced to find her own way home and resented being caught up in this secrecy. It would have been much more enjoyable to just go skating.
"Thank you," she murmured to the driver, before emptying out the entire contents of her wallet into his hand.
She tucked a strand of her hair that had come loose from her ponytail, behind her ear and then slung the duffel bag back over her shoulder. She walked slowly up the stairs to the apartment. Though it was late, the baby was probably up fussing for another feeding by now and the lights on in the living room suggested that it wouldn't be easy to just sneak past her mother to her room.
"So, that's why it's my favourite-" Walking through the door, Ceci happened upon a surprisingly cozy sight. Elena broke off mid-sentence and turned to stare at her sister with wide eyes. Her left hand was set flat on the table in front of her with freshly polished purple nails, while Gloria held her right in hers and was painting it for her.
"Hi, Ceci," Elena said softly.
"How was skating?" asked Gloria. "Did Galina drop you off?"
"Yeah, it was fine," Ceci brushed her off, hoping that her mother wouldn't confer with her friend to double check her story.
Ceci dropped the duffel bag next to the door and started removing her coat and her shoes. Her phone was vibrating in her pocket without pause. Ceci didn't check it until she had sped past her mother and sister, shut the bedroom door behind her, and threw herself on top of her bed. She had several text messages. Nearly all saying the same thing. And they were all from Nicky.
"I'm sorry...please don't be mad at me."
"Ceci...please?"
"I just want to know that you're okay... Did you make it home safe?"
"I'm sorry. Are you mad at me?"
"I just want to know that you're okay…"
Though irritated, Ceci typed up a hurried "I'm fine." to Nicky and then rolled over onto her side. She had no intention of speaking to her anymore tonight. There was a gentle knock. She could hear her mother's voice calling her name. Ceci groaned loudly and buried her face underneath her pillow.
"Gloria, go away," she said.
The door opened up partially. "I just need to know that you're okay, honey," Gloria said quietly. "Did something happen? Did you and Nicky have a fight?"
"No!" Ceci exclaimed, tossing the pillow off of herself and turning over to glare at her mother. "I hurt my ankle skating, but other than that it was really fun."
"You hurt your ankle?" Gloria asked. "Can I take a look at it? Maybe you need to see a doctor…"
"It's fine," Ceci said impatiently. "I can bear weight on it and everything. I just need to sleep."
"I could get you an ice pack-"
"No!" Ceci almost shouted.
The light from the hallway was receding, as Gloria began to close the door shut again. "I love you, Ceci," she said quietly. "Goodnight."
Left alone again, Ceci rolled back to face the wall. In the living room, she could hear the quiet voices of her mother and sister chatting to one another. Though it wasn't long, before she could hear footsteps padding down the hall again. This time it was Elena. Her sister came into the room and tucked herself into her bed before saying anything.
"You didn't really go skating tonight, did you?" It was a statement, more than a question.
"Since when are you and mom so chummy?" Ceci shot back, in an accusatory tone.
"Maybe you should stop leaving me for Nicky if you don't want me getting close to somebody else," Elena retorted angrily. "You never want to do anything with me…"
"And she does?" Ceci demanded.
"I think my night with mom seemed a lot more fun than your night," Elena snapped back. "You know, I almost hope Nicky's social worker finds out what she's doing. Then maybe she won't be around anymore."
"Are you going to snitch on her?" Ceci asked worriedly. "I didn't tell you about it so you could make trouble."
"Nicky is the one making trouble for herself," Elena replied. "And if you were any sort of friend, you'd tell mom. You aren't doing Nicky any favours by lying for her."
With that, Elena threw her covers back off herself and stood up.
"Where are you going?" asked Ceci.
"To be with mom," Elena said simply, before leaving the room.
As soon as the door was closed behind her sister, Ceci buried her head back underneath her pillow once again. She could hear laughter through the walls, knew she would be welcomed with open arms if she chose to join them, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Her phone was still vibrating next to her but Ceci refused to look at it. She had never felt more conflicted in her life, betrayed on all fronts, and now even her sister couldn't understand.
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