The drive home later that day was met with heavy silence. Galina pressed her cheek against the window, leaving a smudge and not even thinking of how many people had touched that glass. She didn't care. Her head felt numb but her mind was full. She'd been given permission to bring Nicky home at least until her court appearance in two days, but Galina had no idea what to do with her until then.
"Red?" Nicky croaked. The car had just turned onto their road and she was nearly home, to a place she hadn't been sure she'd get to come back to and which she might be leaving for good soon anyway.
Galina let out a sigh and kept her eyes diverted at the busy street outside. Dmitri had agreed to keep the store open while she was at the hospital but without her there to prepare and serve food they had lost money that day. And Dmitri had closed early.
"Thank you," Galina said briskly to the driver when they pulled up to the curb in front of her business and home. She counted out the fare plus tip and handed the driver a wad or bills before sliding out of the car. She held the door for Nicky who quietly climbed out after.
The car door slammed as soon as Nicky was on the curb, making Nicky wince. She swallowed a lump in her throat and tried her hardest to fight back tears as she followed her foster mother up the exterior steps to the apartment.
She watched silently as Galina tried the door and discovered it locked. Then began to rummage in her purse for her set of keys, cursing under her breath as she pulled out several different items before finding her set and unlocking it.
"Why did you lock the door when you knew I was on my way?" She snapped upon entry, although inwardly she knew she probably would have had something to say about a door left carelessly unlocked as well. There was a lump in her throat and a heat rising in her chest. She was coated in anger and profoundly unhappy.
"Did you say something?" Dmitri asked bleakly. He was sitting in his usual armchair with his hands over his head and the television humming.
"Nevermind," Galina muttered.
She dropped her bags onto the floor at her feet and kicked off her shoes forcefully, while Nicky quietly closed the door and locked it tight. Slipping off her own shoes, she lined them up neatly beside the door and then silently did the same with those of her foster mother. Quite unlike herself, Galina had left her shoes where they lay and she'd dropped her coat onto the floor beside them too. Nicky wordlessly picked it up for her and hung that up as well. Her brown eyes were wide and fearful, in this apartment filled with unbridled tension. She had been waiting for Galina to yell at her since she'd arrived at the hospital and the torture of anticpation made her almost want to get it over with.
"Well, Nicky!" Dmitri said loudly, his booming voice making Nicky wince when she was so used to his gentle tones. His lip was curled and his eyes were narrow. He even actually got out of his chair and to his feet in an act that felt especially formidable, considering Dmitri hardly ever found anything worthy of getting up for.
"Ye-yes," Nicky stammered, shooting an anxious look over at Galina for help, only to find her inexplicably wiping down the inside of the sink and ignoring them both. Nicky tucked her hands nervously behind her back.
"I guess you got lucky today," Dmitri said. "This could have been much worse but you seemed to have gotten by mostly unscathed. I guess we'll see if you have the same odds when you go to trial."
"Sure," Nicky said weakly, not sure where this was headed. Dmitri looked angry. Which was an emotion she thought he'd lack the energy to express. He wasn't the type to fly off the handle. In her time with them, Nicky had observed how the display of dramatics were normally reserved for his wife.
"Galya," Dmitri said sharply.
"Mmm?" came a murmur barely audible over the running water. Galina still wasn't looking at either of them.
"Has Nicky ever been in our bedroom?" Dmitri asked.
"Well...yes, I suppose," Galina replied. Sometimes Nicky had liked to come in and lie on the bed while she watched Galina sit at her small vanity table and apply her makeup. They'd had some of their best conversations that way and felt so strongly like mother and daughter.
"I mean unsupervised," Dmitri added.
Galina merely shrugged. "Why don't you ask her yourself?" she suggested. "She's standing right there."
Dmitri turned his head. "Nicky?" he raised a questioning eyebrow.
Nicky flushed. "You want me to remember every room I've ever been in without one of you watching me?"
"I'd like to know if you've ever been inside Mrs. Reznikov's jewellery box without permission," Dmitri said darkly. "And, more specifically, whether you've stolen from it."
"Dmitri," Galina whispered. She dropped the rag she was pretending to clean with and switched off the water. "Don't do this now. It's been a long day…"
"And an enlightening one," Dmitri said loudly. "We find out that the girl we opened our home to has been hitching rides in stolen cars and hanging out around drugs and alcohol, which would be bad enough on its own, but is made even worse by the fact that she has already been kicked out of other people's homes and sent to kid jail for those very things. Clearly she didn't learn her lesson!"
"I did…" Nicky's lip quivered. "I do."
"She stole from your best friend," Dmitri spoke over her, glaring at his wife. "And you didn't even do anything about it! You blamed Gloria. What would you have done if one of the boys had done such a thing?"
"They wouldn't have done that," Galina said automatically, without a flicker of hesitation. Nicky felt like her heart was in her throat. She hated how confident her foster mother could be in how her sons would have or would not have behaved. Yet, being around Nicky filled her with doubts. The only thing Galina had consistently said to her so far while they were at the hospital was that she didn't know what to do.
"Exactly," Dmitri said snidely.
"Yuri stole a little car from a store when he was four," Galina said softly. "And when I discovered it, I spanked him and then marched him right back to the store to return it and apologize."
"Yet, when Nicky steals cash from Gloria worth much more than a cheap little toy you act like Nicky is a victim," Dmitri snapped.
"That's not the same…" Galina said wearily. "We didn't have Nicky to raise when she was small, so she doesn't know…"
"You think she doesn't know right from wrong?" Dmitri cut her off.
They were speaking to one another as if Nicky wasn't even in the room. She watched them like a tennis match, back and forth discussing what was wrong with her. Galina had excuses for her, but Nicky could tell from the defeated look in her eyes that she was exhausted and over the entire situation, and Nicky hated that she was responsible for causing it.
"That watch was broken and hadn't been worn in ages," Galina was saying tiredly. "Are you sure it was even still in there?"
"Did you take it out?" Dmitri demanded.
"No," Galina shook her head. "But that doesn't mean that Nicky took it…"
"You're still defending her?" Dmitri nearly yelled. "After everything she's done, you think she'd be above stealing?"
"Stop fighting!" Nicky pleaded, tears pooling in her deep brown eyes. She couldn't take the sound of it anymore. It was bringing her back to the way her mother and father had always spoken to one another. They had often argued about her too, and now Galina and Dmitri were doing the same.
"I did take it," she confessed. "I'm sorry…"
"Nicky," Galina looked confused and hurt.
"I needed some money to pay a guy back," Nicky said. "I didn't think anyone would notice if I took that because the clasp was broken and the case was all dusty too like nobody cared…"
"Galina gave me that for our one year wedding anniversary," Dmitri told her. "I had hoped to some day to pass it down to my son."
"What did you need money for?" Galina asked. "To buy drugs?"
Nicky dropped her head. "Not that often," she mumbled. "But sometimes this life just hurts me so much that I need an escape."
"I thought our home could be an escape for you," Galina said numbly, staring at her. "I thought I could take good care of you and give you a happy life."
"I never wanted to hurt you," Nicky whispered. "I am happy here."
"Clearly not," Galina said shortly. She used her sleeve and dabbed at the corner of her eye. "Go to your room, Nicky. Get to bed."
Not knowing what else she could do, Nicky did as instructed. She walked slowly down the hall. She could hear her foster parents continuing to speak harshly to one another behind her back. Nicky pushed open the door to her bedroom and fell down on top of the comforter. She pressed her face into the warm softness of her pillow and used it to muffle out her crying.
She couldn't hold back. Sobs shook her body, making her already pounding head feel excruciating. She kept hoping that Galina would come into the room to check on her. Rub her back and promise things would be okay, but when Nicky finally was worn out from crying and lay there silently, nobody had come. Galina was probably counting the minutes until she would finally be free of her, and then Nicky really would be alone again.
She rolled onto her side and hugged her pillow tightly to herself. She had never before made her bed every single day as soon as woke up, but it had been one of things Galina had been insistent about and Nicky typically had followed her rules pretty well. She'd done her best to be a good daughter, giving Galina the illusion that she was adjusting well enough, that to have their whole house of cards come tumbling down now was such a shock.
Her eyes scanned around the simple bedroom, overcrowded by the bunk beds that Maxsim and Vasily had shared growing up here. Back when the apartment had been filled with three rambunctious boys, instead of a messed up girl who had ruined her chance at having a true family. They had wanted to adopt her. They had been making plans to redecorate this room to really make it feel like her own.
Now that was all thrown away, and all that was left was two parents speaking aggressively to one another in Russian, as if that would disguise the fact for Nicky through the thin walls that they were arguing. It was obvious what they were fighting about, even if she didn't hear her name. As she began to fall into an exhausted and uneasy sleep, Nicky's final thoughts were of how she had ruined both their lives...although she had warned them from the beginning that she'd do exactly that...
XXX
Different day, different show on the television, but not much else was changed. Dmitri was sitting in his recliner with his feet up. He fortunately hadn't persisted in his painful attempts to engage her in small talk, and now the two of them were sitting in the living room together in companionable silence, while Galina discussed the paperwork with Nicky's social worker.
"Now you're going to behave yourself here, Nicky," the social worker said with a tight edge in her voice.
Nicky glared up at her with her arms crossed. "At the risk of having more visits from you, I think I'll walk the line," she retorted.
"Call me if she's any trouble," the social worker said with a distasteful shake of her head. "I can always come and get her if she gets to be too much. You wouldn't be the first foster parents to have to call me."
"They'd be the fourth," Nicky spoke up.
"Quite an impressive resume," Galina remarked. Nicky fixed her with a glare too, but her new foster mother appeared undeterred. She was already back speaking to the social worker that had brought Nicky by an hour ago. She and her reluctant husband had just finished completing their qualifications to foster children, and almost immediately had received a call asking if they thought they'd be up for one of their more challenging cases. Since she had always prided herself on her mothering abilities, Galina had agreed to take Nicky on.
"She hates me," Nicky announced, sounding almost proud, once the social worker had left the apartment.
"It's okay," Galina told her. "I don't care for them much myself. They always make me feel like I'm in trouble."
"I'm the one in trouble," Nicky corrected her. "I just got out of juvie and I've been kicked out of every foster home I've ever been put in."
"I know," Galina said dryly. "She showed me your file. I also know that you're too smart for your own good, even though applying yourself in school doesn't seem to be high on your list of priorities. And before you entered foster care, you lived with your mother."
"She didn't kick me out, but she did kick my dad out," Nicky smirked. "She probably would have kicked me out eventually too. She always said I was just like him."
"Well, my son Maxsim is just like his father," Galina smirked. "But I've made my peace with it."
She smiled at the small grin she had coaxed from the mouthy girl. They both had glanced over to Dmitri who was watching the television and completely oblivious to their conversation. Then, Galina picked up the duffle bag at Nicky's feet and slung the strap over her shoulder.
"Come, I'll show you your room," she offered invitingly.
Nicky nodded her head and slid off of the couch. "So, I'm guessing it was your idea to foster a kid?" she said, pointing back over her shoulder at Dmitri. "Unless your husband thinks he can make easy money from letting me live here?"
"We both agreed," Galina said honestly. "But you're right, it was my idea. Ever since my sons moved away this place has been too quiet."
"Well, if it's noise and excitement you're after, I can probably deliver," Nicky said brightly. "That's one thing I'm good at."
"I have a feeling you're good at a lot of things," Galina replied. She pointed into the bathroom and then her own room before opening the door to Nicky's new bedroom. She set the small duffle bag on top of the single bed near the window. "This is all you've brought?"
"Considering my nomadic lifestyle, I can only keep what fits in a single duffle bag," Nicky said matter-of-factly, as she plopped down onto the bed. "They sold most of my mother's stuff and put it into an account for me to get when I'm older. Someday I'll be rich."
"That will be nice," Galina replied. "That means you have a bright future ahead of you. My boys would probably love it if someday my store took off and actually made more than just enough to keep itself open. Maybe then they wouldn't have had to share a bedroom."
"It's better than being alone all the time," Nicky said.
"Well, you get to have the room to yourself but you're never going to feel alone in an apartment this small. I'm sure you've lived in much fancier places than this."
"You mean like Juvie?" Nicky smirked.
"I mean anything," Galina shrugged. "This is new for you, but it's new for me too. I've never had a daughter before, but I have a feeling that I'm going to like it."
XXX
When Nicky woke up from her heavy sleep, the room was dark, her eyes felt swollen from crying, and her head felt like it weighed a million pounds. She yawned loudly and contemplated falling back asleep again, just to escape reality for a little bit longer, but the pang in her stomach insisted otherwise. She was starving. She had slept through supper and Galina had never even bothered to wake her up.
SIghing, Nicky swung her feet off of the bed and had to lay her head in her hands for a minute until the room stopped spinning and she felt good to stand. Everything was quiet and all the lights were off as she tiptoed down the hall and into the kitchen. She could see that the television was still on, though the volume was low. Peering into the room, Nicky saw with surprise that it wasn't Dmitri watching, but Galina, curled up on one side of the couch. She hadn't reacted to Nicky's entrance.
"Red?"
"There's leftover pizza in the fridge if your hungry," Galina said dully. "Dmitri ordered it. I didn't feel like cooking."
"You must be upset then," Nicky remarked, as she swung open the refrigerator door to find the pizza. They had only eaten out a handful of times since she'd come to live here, and it was always somebody else's idea. Not that Nicky minded because Galina was a great cook, and she was nearly always willing to make Nicky's requests for her when she asked.
One of her favourites was the pancakes and bacon they ate for breakfast every Sunday. Sometimes her foster mother would get fancy and add berry filling and create a rich pastry to start the day. Yet, even when she made things that weren't to Nicky's taste, she always enjoyed the love and passion she could sense put into every dinner. Feeding her family was something Galina took tremendous pride in, and Nicky had loved being considered among them.
She pulled two slices onto a plate and decided to eat them cold. She had just turned to head back to her bedroom to eat them alone, when Galina called over to her. An invitation to come sit and eat in the living room, which made Nicky hesitate. Things felt so heavy and awkward between them now, where before there had only been love. Dragging her feet, and resisting the urge to run, Nicky reluctantly complied.
She sat down on the other side of the couch, keeping a considerable gap of space between them. Slowly she picked up a slice of pizza and took a small bite. She concentrated on the television and did everything she could to avoid her foster mother's gaze.
"Here, honey," Galina said softly, forcing Nicky to turn to look at her. Galina had a blanket draped over her lap, but now she lifted it with the intention of covering Nicky with it too. "It's a bit chilly tonight. I find it a little drafty in here. Don't you?"
"I-I guess," Nicky stammered. She picked her plate up off her lap and allowed Galina to tuck the blanket over her. Then she dropped her plate down and re-commenced eating. She didn't know what was expected of her right now. Did Galina want an explanation? An apology? Nicky awkwardly continued to chew her pizza and wait for the questions or clues, which didn't come, as Galina picked up the remote and scanned for a different show to watch.
"I'm really sorry," Nicky finally blurted out.
Galina nodded her head. "I'm sure you are."
"If I could take it back, I would," Nicky pleaded. "I never wanted to hurt you, or Dmitri. I can see why the guy grates on your nerves a lot but I love him. I love both of you so much. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me."
"I don't know what's wrong with you either," Galina replied honestly. "Maybe the therapist will give us some answers. I'm going to call first thing in the morning and book you an appointment."
"I'm only here for two more days," Nicky reminded her. "You think they'll get me in that fast?"
Galina pursed her lips. "Well, I'll call and see what they say," she replied. "And then you're going to start working in my store in order to pay back your debts. You'll never replace Dmitri's watch but you can at least return Gloria's money."
"Okay…" Nicky said nimbly.
"I'm going to have Ceci bring your assignments home tomorrow so you can do your school work right in front of me," Galina added. "Since I don't think you'll be going to school until all of this is sorted out. At least you won't fall too far behind."
"You're talking like I'm not going anywhere yet," Nicky remarked.
Galina cocked her head to the side. "Well, we don't know that you are. The judge might surprise you."
"Or he might not," Nicky said pessimistically. "I'll probably get the same man I got before. He yelled at me. Besides, I have a concussion and my head is pounding. School work is sort of out of the question for me right now."
"Too bad," Galina said differently.
"Harsh," was all Nicky could think to say.
Galina shook her head. "I'm not fucking around anymore, Nicky. Enough is enough. I'm going to keep you so busy and under my eye that you won't have time to get into anymore trouble.
"Unless they lock me up…" Nicky reminded her. Though a spark of hope was already beginning to light in her chest, now that Galina was speaking to her so sternly...and motherly. Even if she didn't deserve any of it.
"We're going to fight it," Galina said firmly.
Nicky nodded her head eagerly. Blinking back tears at the mere thought that she still somehow had an ally. "I wasn't driving the car," she said hopefully.
"No," Galina agreed. "But you knew the car was stolen and you knew there were drugs in that car as well, didn't you? Some showed up in your system when they drew blood at the hospital
Nicky sighed. "I'm such a fuck up…"
"That makes two of us," Galina said thickly. "Dmitri is right. I should have been watching you better. I should have known what was going on.
"This isn't on you," Nicky said.
"I think it is," Galina disagreed. "Not all of it, but some. I'm supposed to be your mother. I'm supposed to keep you safe."
"I stole from you," Nicky murmured. "Something I can never replace."
"Well, you're pretty irreplaceable yourself," Galina said gently. "And you're a child. Just because you deserve to be punished for something doesn't mean that you don't deserve a family."
"I want to be in this family," Nicky said pleadingly. "I want you to be my mom."
"I am your mom," Galina assured her. "And if you're going to stand before a judge in two days not get sent to juvie, then the judge needs to know that you are going to be living in a disciplined and highly supervised home. So that's exactly what I intend to do. I'm going to fight for you, and fight for our family."
Thank you so much for reading and the reviews. I hope you enjoyed.
