The apartment was quiet, but Galina was learning how to find ways to be comfortable with that. After a long day of working in her store, a peaceful evening to herself seemed very inviting, and she didn't mind that Dmitri had once again disappeared without telling her that he was going out. She lit a few scented candles and turned on the television for background noise. With nobody else to concern herself about, she decided that a heating up a bowl of soup would suffice tonight and curled up on the sofa to sip at it.
She enjoyed the way the steam from her soup warmed her cheeks and it combined with the aromatherapy effects of her vanilla candles to make her feel like she was beginning to relax. She still wasn't used to finishing a day's work and having nothing else to do until morning. She couldn't remember ever having this much free time.
Her sons had barely moved out before she was moving Nicky in, and she felt as though the past twenty-five years of her life had been a blur of homework, cooking, and cleaning up messes. Without a child in the home, the place didn't even need more than a quick wipe down. The only thing out of place was Dmitri's coffee mug.
Rolling back her knotted and aching shoulders, she decided to take advantage of having the place to herself and indulge in a hot bath that might soothe her tired muscles. She wondered if she still had any of those bath bombs Yuri had given her for Christmas last year, or if Nicky had used them all up on her by now. Maybe tonight would finally give her the chance to finish that book she'd been reading forever.
She had just finished the last spoonful of soup and been about to get up to do the dishes when the phone began to ring. Licking her lips and leaning forward to place her bowl on the coffee table, all plans were temporarily forgotten as she checked the caller ID to see which one of her children it was, and then promptly answered the phone.
"Hi, Nicky," she smiled to herself. "I didn't expect to hear from you this late."
"I can only talk for a minute," Nicky replied.
"That's okay," Galina replied. She liked the reassurance of regular phone calls, even if there wasn't much to say or they were rushed. In the past few weeks they had gotten into a routine and it still was incredulous to her that this had already started to feel so normal.
"How was your day?" she asked casually.
"Lousy," Nicky said. "It was long."
"Did Tricia's trial go okay?"
Much sooner than had been expected, and with very little time to process, Tricia had been hit with her day in court. It was to determine whether to place her back into her mother's custody immediately or whether to extend her stay in the detention center. With Tricia's determination to run away if sent back home again, there could be no positive outcome of such a case, and she had been heavy on Galina's mind since they had met.
"Her mom didn't show up."
"That's good isn't it?"
"I guess...but it still hurts," Nicky said wisely. "I didn't want to go live with my Dad but it still didn't feel great for him to announce he felt the same way."
"I guess not."
Galina sighed. It was something they hadn't really talked about. There was so much that needed to still be discussed. A painful reminder of what a fool she had been to think you could simply love someone and erase all the years of grief and rejection that had raised them up. Her eyes were open now though, and she was so eager to get Nicky home and back in therapy and school. She didn't care if it meant she never got a night to herself again. Long private baths and time to read had nothing on being a mother to her children.
"So, where is Tricia going to go now?"
"Some group home," Nicky replied. "Until they can get her a bed somewhere she has to stay here though. She doesn't care."
"Well, I'm sure you're a great comfort to her."
They spoke for a few more minutes before Nicky needed to go. After hanging up the phone, Galina sat on the sofa for a long time in deep thought. She turned the television off when it began to irritate, and then listened to the ticking of the clock in the otherwise silent apartment until it began to chime at the hour mark. The gears in her brain were turning, rotating away from feelings of failure to considering if she was ready to take more on. Her heart began to pound and a shiver of excitement ran down her spine as she recognized that she was. It was all she really wanted in life.
XXX
That same night, Gloria's apartment was also quiet and still, but it wasn't because she was alone. Her mother and daughters were all awake and accounted for in the tiny space, but gone was the games and laughter from before. Today, Milagra had hit them all with a fresh dose of reality. Reminding them all that the happy family they had been playing at was soon to lose one of its leading members. She had her ticket booked for a flight home in just a matter of days. Soon they would be divided once again.
Lourdes, to her credit, had sensed the feeling of dread that had begun to overcome all of them and had offered to have Julio and Benny over to her home for a sleepover that night. She and her sister had planned an afternoon of outings tomorrow for just themselves when the girls were in school, and she thought that some quiet time for her sister and nieces was much needed.
While Ceci and Elena had been enjoying their grandmother being there, there had been a thick sadness in the air the last few days. Milagra's gentle reminder had been unnecessary, the departure date that had been formalized since her arrival had been creeping up on them steadily. It's approaching hour was putting both of the girls in ferocious moods.
"Don't you like New York?" Elena asked hopefully, leaning up against her grandmother as they sat side by side on the sofa watching television.
"It's the most exciting place I have ever been," Milagra told her with a wink. "I can't remember the last time I had so much fun."
"If you stayed, we could have fun like that all the time," Elena pressed.
"Mija", Gloria sighed, turning around from the counter where she was washing the dishes. She was getting increasingly frustrated with all of the hints her daughters kept trying to drop. She supposed she should be grateful that their current intent was to keep their grandmother in New York, rather than wanting to hop on the plane with her, but she worried how that might switch when they realized their campaign hadn't worked.
"What? It's true," Elena stuck out her bottom lip. "There's lots of things we still haven't done yet."
"We'll have to make a list for the next time I am back in town," Milagra wrapped her arms around Elena's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
"When is that going to be?" Ceci asked, an eagerness in her tone that made Gloria inwardly cringe. Ceci curled up in the armchair lowered her phone down from her face and blinked at her grandmother expectantly.
"Oh...someday," Milagra said lightly. "I would like to come back."
"Next summer?" Elena asked hopefully.
"Oh, no girls," Milagra shook her head. "You know I won't be able to get away again so soon. I have a lot to catch up on when I get home."
"You'll remember to give all my friends their New York souvenirs from me right?" Elena asked. She had left several close friends from school in Puerto Rico, and though she had them all on social media it was rare that they spoke directly and it was difficult to see them all carrying on without her. She'd hoped the little trinkets she'd bought for her grandmother to take back would remind them of her.
"I will definitely remember," Milagra assured her.
"I'm not sending him anything," Ceci said, with a pointed look at her sister. "But do tell Carlos I said hi."
"Do you still talk to him?" asked Milagra with a smile.
"No, not really," Ceci shook her head. "You know we called it off when I left. I wasn't going to do the whole long distance thing."
Behind them, washing the same clean pot over and over again, Gloria's shoulders drooped slightly. She felt so apart from the life they discussed. She had never heard about this Carlos before and it made her feel inadequate every time something was referenced that she wasn't a part of.
Finally setting the pot down on the drying pot, Gloria turned her head and caught Elena kiss her grandmother's cheek and nuzzle in closer.
"Please don't leave", Elena whispered, as Milagra hugged her tightly.
"How about a game of cards?" Gloria asked lightly, but nobody even heard her. She felt invisible right now in a home that was sad with the grief that she had created.
She didn't know what it was she could do to make it seem better. She wished it was as simple as Milagra falling in love with this city and deciding to join them all here, but it didn't work that way. She had a life to get back to, a life the girls were still very familiar with. Gloria had done her best to make this feel like home to them but she still felt she was only successful at breaking everyone's hearts.
XXX
"I told you if you forgot your key again that I wasn't letting you in," Galina huffed as she unlocked the chain on her front door anyway.
"Oh." Her eyes widened in surprise to see Gloria standing on her doorstep. "I thought you were Dmitri."
"I surmised as much," Gloria rolled her eyes.
Galina opened the door wider to let her in. Holding out her hand as Gloria slipped out of her plum trench coat and passed it to her.
"So, if Dmitri forgets his keys you just...what? Make him sleep in the stairwell?" Gloria asked in amusement.
"Well…." Galina smirked, opening the closet door to hang the coat inside. "Clearly I have a problem with follow through, but I am so tired of him waking me up in the middle of the night all the time."
"I'm more shocked that he moved from the living room than anything else," Gloria said. "What's he doing out at all hours? I thought he never left his chair."
"Hanging out at Maxsim's mostly," Galina replied. "If he goes over there he doesn't have to risk me asking him to do stuff."
"Speaking of….." Gloria let her voice trail off as she stepped further into the apartment.
"You've been busy," she stated, taking in all the furniture that had been dragged out into the living room. A drill was resting on the coffee table next to a pile of screws from the bedframe she had taken apart herself. Single mattresses were leaned up against the couch.
"I'm redecorating," Galina explained.
She pointed into the bedroom. All the lights were on and it was completely empty of furniture and belongings. The smell of fresh paint was strong in here and a new coat of a bright easter blue. Nicky had decided on that colour herself but with all of the drama and stress surrounding court and custody, nobody had been feeling exactly festive enough to personalize the bedroom.
"Getting ready for Nicky's homecoming?" Gloria asked gently.
The scene was hitting her more than she would have liked. She could remember herself standing on a step stool with her baby bump in the way. Painting her daughters bedroom and setting it up full of hope that they would like it enough to make them not resent moving here as much. Now she knew that it really was just a bedroom and a symbol of false dreams. It couldn't make up for the time lost and the distance between family. Despite trying her hardest, she was beginning to think that nothing ever could.
"Something like that," Galina said vaguely. She crossed her arm across her body and stretched it, flexing out her hand. Then she shrugged it off and repeated on her other side.
Gloria's eyes narrowed. "What else?"
"Well….I called my social worker this evening when I finished work," Galina said. "I wanted to see what they would say about me taking on another young girl."
"I'd say your hands are already pretty full," Gloria said honestly.
"Not really," Galina argued, shooting her a sideways glance. "You have four," she reminded her.
"I wouldn't say I'm doing a stellar job at that," Gloria said dryly.
"Yes, you are," Galina insisted, looking alarmed at the dark shadow that had crossed over Gloria's face. "You're juggling four different children, at all different stages, with all different needs. What more could you expect?"
"I don't know," Gloria shrugged, massaging circles on her forehead to self sooth the sharp stab that had been piercing her head all evening. Her neck and shoulders felt stiff and as hard as rocks.
The smell of paint was making her feel slightly nauseous so she backed out into the living room and sank down onto Dmitri's recliner. She pulled the lever to make the footrest pop out and leaned back, taking a deep breath. She could see why he rarely left this spot. It was very comfortable. Behind her she could hear Galina's footsteps and the sounds of cabinets opening in the kitchen but she didn't turn around to look. She was too over this night and everyone in it.
"Here."
A few minutes later, Gloria felt the coolness from a chilled amber beer bottle press against her shoulder. She turned her head to the side to stare at it lazily and then back up at her friend.
"Beer?" she asked. "What happened to the vodka?"
"I drank it all," Galina replied bluntly. She set the bottle down onto Gloria's lap. She had a second one in her other hand for herself. With the couch still blocked by the three mattresses, she instead perched herself on the end of the coffee table at Gloria's side. She took a swig from her bottle and made a face.
"You don't like it, do you?" Gloria smirked, as Galina wrinkled her nose and swallowed the liquid in her mouth.
"Well, it was either the beer Yuri left in my refrigerator last New Years Eve, or I offer you a cigarette," Galina replied.
"I quit," Gloria said.
"I know," Galina said. She brought the bottle back to her lips but changed her mind before she got a taste.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked softly, placing her beer down.
"No," Gloria said tiredly. "Not right now."
"That's okay," Galina said. She picked up the television remote and handed it to Gloria. "Why don't you just sit still for as long as you need?"
She pressed her lips to the spot on Gloria's temple she'd seen her massaging earlier and kissed her. Then she decided to give some space. She turned her focus back to the task that was beginning to consume her. The girls' bedroom was going to be ready for another coat of paint soon, but she still had to decide what to do with all the furniture.
A room that had once housed her three sons, would soon be shared by two new daughters if she had her way. That left an extra bed and dresser she would offer to Benny once he graduated from his crib. Tomorrow she was going to go shopping for new comforters and curtains and she decided to put both the beds on either side of the window. She was excited.
"Those girls are so lucky to get you." Gloria's voice broke into her thoughts and Galina smiled as her friend gave her a hug from behind.
"I probably am crazy for doing this," Galina admitted with a shake of her head. "I haven't even told Dmitri yet, but you're right it is a lot."
"You can handle anything," Gloria said confidently. Hoping she could find it in her to believe the same about herself. The next few days were going to be anything but easy.
