A/N - This one was suggested by a 'guest.' Great idea, guest. I wish I could thank-you directly.
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The Crossing
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Grief and loss can be truly devastating. I'm a grief counselor. I know.
I spend all day, every day talking with people who have lost someone and there is a common denominator in those who suffer most: regret.
"Why didn't I tell them how I felt?"
"Why didn't I help them more?"
"Why didn't I spend more time with them?"
"Why did I wait so long to _?"
And the worst one:
"Why couldn't I… why didn't I save them?"
The other night I witnessed something horrible - I was out on my roof having a smoke, and I happened to look down at the police station across the street at just the right moment.
Seeing a crime committed in New York City isn't all that unusual. This wasn't even my first murder. But this was different. This was 'a hit.' A man came out of nowhere and shot two people, a man and a woman. The man was badly hurt, but it didn't stop him from dragging himself to his friend - girlfriend - wife? He took her into his arms and held her. And as I watched, he lost her.
He was a big, strong guy, but I have never seen such tenderness. In the moments before she passed it was obvious that he loved her - cared about her - needed her.
I sincerely hope he has access to a good therapist because in my professional opinion, he'll need one. I couldn't hear what was said, but everything about the tableau screamed loss. He was devastated. He was filled with regret. He was broken - in every sense of the word.
Honestly, even if he survives his own injuries - and that's a big "IF" - even if he survives - it will be a long time before he begins to really 'live' again, if ever.
I pray he can find purpose in life. It is often the only thing more powerful than regret.
